I had few expectations when I started writing. I’d hoped to get published. That was about it. I hadn’t thought about reviews, didn’t know anything about “stars and RT” and I certainly hadn’t given any bestseller lists a thought.
I still try not to. My mantra has always been: Keep it about the writing. I tell myself that all that other stuff doesn’t matter. I judge each book by whether or not I like it. That keeps me happy and writing.
I don’t want to have expectations. Unfortunately, it isn’t always my expectations that I have to worry about.
My daughter used to love basketball. She played from the fifth grade up into high school. Her freshman year, new to the school and the coach, she ran into trouble. Most of the season she sat on the bench. I could tell that the coach was furious with her and she came home after every practice nearly in tears.
I knew something was wrong because Danielle was good at basketball. I waited though until the end of the basketball season before I went to talk to the coach. I asked him what the problem was.
“I told everyone that Danielle was going to be my star,” he told me. “She made me look bad because she didn’t play as good as I thought she would.”
The coach had put his ego and his expectations onto my daughter. The next year, Danielle played under a different coach and excelled. Her former coach couldn’t understand why she hadn’t played like that for him. A year later, he wanted her to play on the varsity team for him. She said she loved basketball too much to play for a coach like him and quit. Even now at thirty-eight, she has a hoop outside her house and still plays – for her own enjoyment.
After making the USA Today Bestseller list, I learned about expectations. One of my favorite quotes is from the television show, The Office. Michael says to his boss: I am so impressed by the potential you see in me.
The moment my husband and I heard it, we both started laughing. That is exactly the way I feel about my career right now. Once I made the list, expectations went up – not mine but my editor and publisher.
I don’t want to let them down but I also don’t want to end up benched because their expectations were too high.
More than anything, I don’t want to start having expectations of my own. I have goals and I work hard to keep growing as a writer. But I want my career to be like the way I write my books – never knowing how they end or whodunit. I like being surprised.
My only expectation right now is finishing my current book.
USA Today Bestselling author B.J. Daniels lives in Montana with her husband, Parker, and three Springer Spaniels, Spot, Jem and Ace. She writes for both Harlequin Intrigue and HQN. When she isn’t writing, she snowboards, waterskis, camps, fishes, quilts and plays tennis.
What a great way to explain exactly how many of us feel! We love doing what we do and as long as our readers do to that’s what matters. I hate the idea that some consider what we’ve done as less important IF we don’t make a list. You have nothing to worry about, BJ! Your readers love you and I know your editor and publisher do as well!
Thanks Deb. 🙂 It is cool to know that we all feel this way!!! I was afraid I was being too honest. 🙂
ROFLMAO!!!! BJ, I love the reference to THE OFFICE, especially in knowing the context of the scene!
And thank goodness, YOU, Girl, are NO Michael Scott!!!
xxxxxxxxxx Josie
LOL Josie!! Didn’t you love that line in The Office. It was just too perfect for a lot of people’s situations. Like Michael, I have no idea what I’m doing right. 🙂 Or wrong, for that matter. 🙂
Your article hit home, BJ. I, unfortunately, have expectations, and I recognize the expectations that others have in me. Readers, editor, agent … I wish it could only be about the writing, but I’m acutely aware that if I don’t meet my own expectations (with the writing) or my publishers (with sales) or readers (with the story) I will struggle to write the next book, get the next contract, earn the trust of new readers. Your daughter has courage to walk away, because that’s not easy to do (especially as a teenager!) I know that I place a high level of expectations on myself, and that’s probably where most of my anxiety comes from. :/
Oh Allison, I do know what you mean. We all put a lot of pressure on ourselves to write the best book we can — and write an even better book the next time. I think that just comes with being a writer. So I guess the expectations are there whether we want them or not. But when I sit down to write, I don’t think about sales or any of the rest of those things I can’t control. I just have to write my story. It’s gotten me this far.
Don’t let the expectations dampen your creativity – you keep us entertained and that is worth more than any list!
Oh Tracy, thank you so much!! You made my day.
Hi B.J.,
I love what you say about keeping it about the writing. That’s why I got into this in the first place. I love to write. It is easy to lose sight of that in this complex, ever-changing business climate.
Happy writing to you! You’ve inspired me for my WIP.
LOL Laura. Glad I could be of help. 🙂
BJ – How perfectly put! Reading this, I’ve realized the biggest stumbling block for me has been fear of expectations… I’ve carried a “book in my brain” for about three years, but haven’t “put pen to paper” (or more accurately, fingers to a keyboard) for fear that it wouldn’t be well-received. I’m going to work on letting go of the importance I’ve placed on the expectation of others and write because I love it!
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Sarah, good for you! That is exactly what you have to do otherwise your fingers just freeze on the keyboard. I play this game with myself that I am just writing this book for me. It usually works. 🙂 Good luck! Let us know when you finish it.
BJ – That’s such a fantastic explanation for why some people thrive in circumstances that make others wilt. And your daughter did exactly the right thing. Speaking as a former coach who certainly had an ego, it should still be about people working to THEIR maximum potential, regardless how that makes the coach/editor/whoever look.
Thanks Jake. I appreciate that. It was very frustrating. I didn’t want to be one of those parents who interfered. Others expectations can kill what you love if you let. My daughter learned that at an early age. I’m still learning. 🙂
Wow, B.J. I REALLY needed to hear this message today. I can’t control the publishing world. I can’t control the readers. I can control the book I’m writing.
And control it I will. I will put aside the doubt, the pressure, the expectations. I will tell this story the best way I can.
Thank you! This is me writing now… *poof*
LOL Silver. Good for you!! Glad I could be of help. 🙂
I find myself having too high of expectations for myself. I usually have to ratchet them down to a more doable place.
Like you, I find that if I stay focused on the immediate task, I tend to do much better overall.
Love your attitude. I’m going to have to keep working on mine.
ShannonLee,
Thanks. I think we are all really hard on ourselves, huh. It’s too bad. I have to keep working on mine too.
Expectations: boy, the can kill anything from the love of a avocation to a good relationship:) The key is keeping them real, and remembering why you are doing what you’re doing in the first place. I love writing….I just try to forget about being an “author”.
I so agree, Deborah. And it’s all relative. It’s a crazy profession.
As someone trying to break in to writing, your article really touched home. Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves expecting our story to be perfect and finding it hard to finish the story because we keep going back to rewrite. It’s hard to turn away our inner critic long enough to just write. Thanks for sharing.
Brenda, best of luck with your writing. Just knock that critic off your shoulder and write for yourself. See if that works.
Hmmm. Seems like I need to start taking that advice a lot more often. Someone once told me, “Never expect anything until it’s handed to you.” I’m getting better at it, but sometimes it can be difficult.
Allison, since a lot of people love your books and you have been very successful thus far, do you think you might have some expectations that your next work will be just as good as the previous one?