Murder She Writes

Two things before I begin: I may not be able to comment as we’re having a family party today, but I’ll try to check in. And I’m giving away an ARC to THE BEAST WITHIN Anthology to one lucky (randomly drawn) commenter.

I just sent in my manuscript for my fourth Wing Slayer Hunter Book. This one is titled SINFUL MAGIC (my fabulous editor came up with that title).

I’m drained. I finished the 500 page draft two weeks ago, and in that time, I revised and edited that book. It came out to 507 pages which is funny because I swore I was going to cut.

I did cut.

Then I wrote some more.

Cut other places.

Added dialogue and internal exposition in weak spots.

Deleted one thread but expanded another…

And somehow it all added up to 507 pages. My poor editor, LOL!

Here’s the thing—I truly didn’t truly know if this book was ever going to come together until about a week ago. Some of that is probably just being too close to it. But I had some really worrisome moments (and sleepless nights)trying to pull all the threads of this book together.

Okay I’m still worried, but I must insert here: I have a fabulous editor, Shauna Summers. And I trust her. I know she will find the weak spots, the threads that aren’t working, the places that need more…and she’ll tell me, maybe we’ll toss some ideas back and forth, and then I’ll revise. She really is a partner in making the story as strong as possible.

I don’t get writers who say they don’t need an editor. I need an editor! A first-rate editor is a vital part of any good book!

But where was I? Oh yeah, so I had moments when I just didn’t know how to get to the end of the book. This is usually the point where I feel like that scene in the movie Apollo 13 after Tom Hanks has said, “Houston we have a problem.” The engineers on the ground have a box of items replicating what the crew in space has to work with. They dump them out on a table. I don’t remember the dialogue exactly, but it was something like: “We’ve got to find a way to make this square canister fit into a round hole using nothing but that,” meaning the items on the table.

Then they went to work.

To me, that’s what writing, and especially revising, a book is like. Even when it feels hopeless and completely overwhelming, I can’t give up. Of course, my reason for not giving up isn’t the fact that the lives of several men in a space shuttle are depending on it.

My reason is pretty simple: I WILL WIN. I WILL NOT LET THE BOOK BEAT ME.

Okay I have one ARC (Uncorrected Advance Reading Copy) of THE BEAST WITHIN Anthology left. To enter the drawing to win the ARC, tell me what you refuse to let beat you. It can be anything!

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Today is a fast blog. I have two weeks to revise my 500 page first draft.

That’s right First Draft. This thing still has notes like, “Think about XX scene here.” I don’t know how the heck this book got away from me. As I type now, I’m printing it for a quick read through, hoping that it’s better than I think it is.

Every book I write, I swear I’m going to get better, faster, more efficient, and yet, here I am again…

Anyway, to take my mind off MY book, let’s talk about what books you’re reading.

For me, I just finished reading an ARC (Advanced Reading Copy) of THE BEAST WITHIN (out September 2010), an Anthology with ERIN McCARTHY, BIANCA D’ARC http://biancadarc.com/ and myself. I didn’t read my story because I’m sick of my writing, but this was my first peek at Erin and Bianca’s stories. I really enjoyed them!

Now your turn—what are you reading? And why did you pick that book? Play along, leave a comment, and one person will win an ARC of THE BEAST WITHIN!

I’m really deep into writing my book (due July 5th) and my brain is crammed with characters and magic and dragons and tears and evildoers and wondering how the heck I’m going to pull off this book.

After I finish each book, I swear on the lives of my children that I will plot the next book better. And I’ll stay on that plot, not veer off into trouble. The next book will be easier!

I don’t know, I guess my kids have nine lives or something because no matter how hard I try, it doesn’t happen. I always write myself into a corner. It’s usually a dark corner in some unknown alley that smells like urine and rotting meat. There are three snarling, foaming Rottweilers running toward me and no way for me to escape. Someone is shooting at me, and I think I hear the rattle or hiss of a venomous snake.

On top of that, I can hear the sound of my deadline barreling down on me.

All because I can’t stay on the plot line. I deviate with manic glee, laughing and nodding, “Oh yes, this is better! Much more exciting! Fun! Yes, go, go, go!!!!” I run headlong into that dangerous, horrible, terrifying corner.

And there I am sniveling, gnashing my teeth and wondering why the blazes I didn’t stay on my original plotline.

And then the voice start, “The whole book is boring anyway. The pacing if off, there’s no sexual tension, the characters are as interesting as an old sponge…dump the whole book!”

I know this happens with every book. And I try to remind myself of these things:

1) Finish the book. I can fix it once I finish it. But I can’t fix it while I’m trapped in this stinking corner. Must finish the book!

2) Once I finish and do a read through, I won’t hate it as much. And I’ll see ways to fix it. I’ll even have a little smidge of hope.

3) My editor is really good at what she does. She’ll send me revisions. I will read them and howl like a wounded puppy. Then I’ll pull myself together and act like a professional, doing the revisions.

4) The book will be saved. I’ll be free of the corner…

Until the next book.

And you know what’s crazy? As much as I hate, HATE this process, the truth is that I love it more than I hate it. The highs of those moments when a character reveals something that’s so key the whole books suddenly comes together in my head, or I figure out a solution, or I hit that right note in dialogue, or the subtext reveals the character to the reader…those moments are the highs that suddenly wipe out all the agony. Those feelings, the priceless, precious feelings of success are what drag me back to the computer day after day, fighting to get the story right.

So maybe I don’t want a perfectly plotted story that’s easy. Maybe what I really enjoy is the battle of discovery.

But right now, I’d sure like a way out of this freaking corner!

I don’t have a question today. A good blog should always end with a question, but right now, I’m too distracted trying to evade the four inch teeth of those Rottweilers and hoping I can save my book!

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It’s interesting that I am a romance writer because I evidently suck at romance. I think I’m pretty good at marriage, given that I married when I was 20 and been happy ever since. But romance? The hearts and flowers stuff that seems to make so many women happy truly eludes me. Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.

DATE NIGHT:

Romantics: A special night set aside for married people to spend quality time together without talking about children or whatever.

Me: That’s just stupid. I thought the whole freaking point of dating was to find the right partner, marry and never have to go through that crap again. My husband and I go out all the time, dinners, movies, sea world—whatever we feel like doing. But we don’t call it Date Night. (However, the movie DATE NIGHT was hilarious. Just saying…)

RENEWING WEDDING VOWS

Romantics: Umm, just a guess on my part, but either they think it proves they still love each other or they want an excuse for a party.

Me: What? The vows didn’t take the first time? They had an expatriation date? Stupid! If we want a party, have a party! Just don’t make people sit and watch a wedding rerun. No one wants to see the video of the first one, why in the heck would they want to be forced to sit through a live re-enactment that has zero real meaning? I know! Let’s have a Mystery Dinner instead! And the first person who says “Date Night” (and doesn’t mean the movie) or “Renewing Wedding Vows” can play the dead person! And we’ll all try to figure out who killed them and congratulate them for a job well done.

See? I’m not a romantic. One of the AWWW moments in my marriage? My washer broke. Now I like to do laundry on Mondays and Thursdays. The wash broke on Monday. We went out Tuesday and bought one. Wednesday, my husband picked it up on the way home from work and after dinner, he installed it for me. After he was finished, I decided to bring him some iced tea. I got the drink and went out in the garage where he was doing something to the old washer, and this was the conversation:

“Thanks for getting the washer and hooking it up for me. I know you did it tonight so I can do laundry tomorrow.”

He stopped whatever he was doing, looked up and said in totally matter of fact voice, “Of course I did. I’m your husband and I take care of you.”

I remember standing there in the door between the house and the garage and feeling my throat tightened. I didn’t ask him to hook the washer up after a long day of work, I would waited until the weekend. But he PAID ATTENTION to my routine and knew exactly how I liked to do things to keep the house running smoothly with three kids. And he went out of his way to make sure I wasn’t inconvenienced if he could do something about it. That is real love to me. I don’t need flowers, date night or renewal ceremonies. I just need a man to cares enough to pay attention.

But then, maybe that’s what real romance is: Not the cliché or big gestures, but the actions that come straight from the heart.

Maybe it’s not so surprising that I writer romance after all…

So tell me, what is romance, or romantic, to you?

Many years ago, I was telling a neighbor my plans to fly to Texas to join my husband after he finished some business. It would be a three hour flight.

My neighbor said, “You’re flying ALONE. For three hours? What will you do?”

“Read!” I was so excited that I would get three uninterrupted hours of pure reading! I had three small kids at the time and a busy life. So reading was a precious commodity.

My neighbor didn’t get it.

Non-bookaholics never do.

My youngest son (the one who I could barely get to read in middle and high school) realized when he started college that he needed to improve his Language Arts skills.

“Read,” I told him. “Find what you like, and read.”

Much to my surprise he took my advice and began reading. He found he loves nonfiction about war, police, history and biographies. His reading and language skills improved quickly and dramatically. (He’s an A/B student) He started buying books and now has an impressive collection of hardbacks. He asks for them on his birthdays and Christmas. On his last birthday I ran into his girlfriend and her mother—all of us were shopping for books for his birthday.

He’s become a true bookaholic and I couldn’t be more proud!

Non-bookaholics don’t get it.

I have a confession, I am a weird bookaholic in that I don’t keep a lot of my fictions books (I do keep research books). I’m a bookaholic who shares. My sister, another son, and a few friends and I exchange books. So how do I know I’m a bookaholic?

I have a few “symptoms” of a true bookaholic:

1) Have you called in sick to finish a book (or seriously considered it)?

2) Do you look forward to things like going on an airplane or waiting in a doctor’s office just so you can read?

3) Can you pass a bookstore without going in?

4) Can you leave a bookstore without buying something?

5) Do you compulsively look at Amazon, or other review sites, AFTER you read the book to see who agrees with you and who doesn’t? (Hmm, that might just be me!)

6) Can you meet your friends for lunch and not talk about books?

7) Do you know your favorite authors release dates better than your kids’ birthdates?

8 ) When you say, “Just one more chapter and I’ll start dinner,” does your family rolls their eyes and order pizza?

Are you a bookaholic? What are some of your symptoms? Everyone who leaves a comment will be entered in a contest to win a $15.00 Barnes and Noble gift card! Winner to be announced this weekend.

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Somewhere on the blogosphere, I saw a discussion about heroes crying. I didn’t think I had a problem with heroes crying. I thought in the right circumstances, it’s very appropriate and can add real depth to the character. That is, until this week.

But before that? I could think two places where heroic tears worked for me:

Humor: Like the hero that cries at sad movies and hates it. I mean he’s embarrassed and pissed and does anything to avoid being caught. This is the hero that avoids me as an author because I’d torture the ever-lovin’-crap out of him. I’d have so much fun with him, he’d find a way to escape the book into real life and kill me. But man, now I soooo want to do that to a hero…

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, heroes and tears (Note to self: write a hero that cries at movies!)

Anyway, that’s the first type of hero crying that would work for me. I like that scenario of a really tough guy who tears up at Marley and Me and tries to hide it because it shows he’s truly human and compassionate. Those scenes, while funny, would endear him to me, make me grasp that if he’s not exactly nice to the heroine in the beginning, he has potential.

(Note to self: hero crying at sad movies AND commercials is even funnier! He has a list of excuses; dust, allergies, the heroine’s damn cat, sun in his eyes, old injury from saving the lives of comrades…)

The second reason to cry: Raw, exposed right to the bone emotion. These are the scenes where all is lost; the anger is stripped away until nothing is left but pure grief and regret. Maybe the hero made the wrong choice and the heroine is emotionally shattered. Or the lie is exposed. Whatever it is, if done well, the tears are secondary to what is really going on in the pages:

Raw Emotion Exposed.

These scenes are truly uncomfortable to see and they should be. This is the moment when the hero is going to do one of two things: Fold (and he’s not a hero then. I don’t care if a hero cries, but if he quits, then he’s not a hero), or he’s going to fight. And by fight, I mean all pride and arrogance are gone, he’s going to show his love no matter what it takes. This is the moment where the hero is transformed. He’s no longer the same person he was at the beginning of the book. And for some characters, tears reflect that.

So anyone want to guess what happened this week to make me second guess my thoughts on heroic tears? Come on, you all know the answer–it’s the book I’m writing now. I wrote the synopsis in a way that starts off humorous (although there are no tears from the hero).

But the characters are totally screwing up my scenes. They are forcing me to get to know them, uncover who they really are, and what their real conflicts, goals and motivations are.

And they aren’t funny.

I’m about 150 pages (give or take since I work back and force like a demon-possessed sewing machine). I’ve realized that my hero hasn’t cried a single tear since he was four or five years old. He can’t, and I know why. Physically, you can do anything imagine to him, and the best you’re going to get is a grunt, or if he’s feeling particularly generous, some colorfully imaginative language. The problem is, now that I know he hasn’t cried…well crap, I don’t even want to think about what I’m going to have to do to him at the end of the book. It makes me seriously uncomfortable.

So we’ve been fighting (yes, I fight with imaginary people and I lose the fights!). Somewhere along the way I’ve lost control of the characters and the storyline. The book is going to be more emotional (assuming I don’t totally screw it up which feels like a distinct possibility right now).

So here’s what I need to know. Do you all think tears can be heroic? Or do they make our heroes too wimpy?

1  1  13

I feel a rant coming on—it’s Monday and time to stir up some trouble!

What’s the fascination with “the other women?” Unless you live under a rock, you’ve all heard the Big Scandals, first with Tiger Woods and then Jessie James.

Hmm, a high priced sports star, and a bad boy marrying money, misbehaving…yeah, no REAL surprise there, right? They think they can and should get away with it. In short, they are boys not men.

What I don’t get, is public/media fascination with the other women. The women these men cheat with. I’ve heard some women say they believe there’s a “sisterhood” an unwritten code that one woman doesn’t poach another woman’s man.

My answer? There would be nothing to “poach” if the man had some integrity.

And by the way, for the twits who say, “But I didn’t know he was married!” Listen up, lame brain, I have zero interest in golf. ZERO. And I knew Tiger Woods was married. So I don’t buy it. That just proves how reality-challenged or intellectually-challenged you are.

Yes I am that harsh. And I consider the women irrelevant. They are interchangeable. Conquests. Notches on the bedpost.

They are not women that the King of England would abdicate the throne for. Not a soul mate or love match. This is not a romance novel and if it was, I wouldn’t read it because adulterous heroes (or heroines) don’t work for me.

So what is the fascination?

Is it because many of these women are looking for a PAYDAY? That the real reason they are sniffing around these men is for money and/or fame? And we captivated by them using the famous men for their own benefit?

Here’s what set me off, a link to this article that Gloria Allred is The Woman Behind the Other Woman Yeah, I know this is the Internet equivalent of supermarket tabloids, but let’s just say I was doing some research and came across this article. It’s totally plausible, yes?

Anyway, the article says about Gloria representing the other women:

“The woman gets results, and now those results come with cash. She — allegedly — got Rachel Uchitel a million dollars. Who knows how much she’s negotiating for Josyln James?

Payday! A million dollars! Now I must first get over laughing at the schmuck who—ALLEGEDLY— paid it to her. Because what good did it do? More women crawled out of anonymity, dragging his tattered reputation through the slime, to get their piece of the money/fame pie.

But it’s not just Gloria, all the talk shows vie for these women, people are talking about them, digging into them, making them household names.

One of my personal favorites is the ‘host’ of a show professing sympathy for Sandra Bullock, then spending the rest of the show making the “other women” famous. That’s sympathy?

I don’t know, is it just me scratching my head and wondering why were all so fascinated? Is it just me feeling a bit nauseous by this?

1  1

Over the weekend, I did a panel on New York Publishing, An Author’s Point of View. The other two authors were Maureen Child and Susan Squires. I’ve known and respected both these talented women for years. Once the three of us realized the panel wasn’t being taped, we relaxed and told the truth as we know it.

Actually these are my favorite kinds of events. The back and forth of the audience and my other two panelists often sparks much more interesting conversations. I learned quite a bit. The main points I can remember are:

1) Discipline is key. Writing is what we do, so we do it. Even on bad days. Even on blocked days. I wrote last week while I was sick. Writers write.

2) Fear is always there, and the pressure/fear often increases with each success. So what, write anyway.

3) We must control our own careers. Even though an editor may continue to buy the same book(s) from us, is that really growing our career? It’s very difficult to weight the risk of changing publishing houses, but the rewards can be worth it.

4) We all make career mistakes. Learn and move on.

5) No one expects the new author to know everything, but we expect you to learn. Knowledge in this ever changing industry is critical. Learn to read contacts, become minimally conversant in e-rights, options clauses, etc. It’s YOUR future earning power, you’d better understand it. I am still learning, and that’s okay. The author not learning is the one that I worry about.

6) Everyone is confused on self promotion, what works, what doesn’t and why. All of us are sure we’re not doing enough and feel the pressure. But where is all the pressure coming from? Usually not the editor or agent insofar as I can tell.

7) Piracy is a serious concern.

8 ) Right now, traditional NY publishing houses have the best distribution and are the best opportunity for an author to make a living wage. However e-publishing and smaller publishers can be a great way to get your foot in the door. And, as we said when discussing that, everything is changing.

9) Using a critique partner or group is a very individual thing. All three of us have a slightly different method.

10) Keep writing. If you’re unpublished and finished one book, write another. If you’re published but uncontracted, write a couple proposals, not just one, and send them out. If you’re published and contracted, think about other ideas just in case things go south…because being prepared is better than being caught by surprise.

Really, in many respects, publishing is very much like any other career. My husband is an accountant, and he would give pretty much the same advice to aspiring or new accountants. The difference is that we’re creative dreamers. We live in our heads. But we need to have a working knowledge of our business to stay viable and hopefully keep growing.

But the most important advice that came out of this goes back to KEEP WRITING.

Okay that turned into a lecture…let’s shake that off and turn to something fun. Here’s the cover to the anthology I’m in THE BEAST WITHIN. The book will be out September 2010.

My story is fun romp titled REDEEMING THE WIZARD. Gage Remington is a wizard trying to keep his fried powers a secret to protect the town. Mira Tate is a mortal woman who is desperate to find her missing grandmother. Desperate enough to blackmail the town wizard she believes responsible for her parents death into helping her, not realizing his powers have become defective.

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