Welcome to my pity party: I did NOT win the $640 million Mega Millions Lotto.

If you hold the lucky ticket, you can now consider me your new bestest pal in the whole wide world, so, yeah for sure, give me a call!

And hey, don’t worry: I won’t ask for a loan.

I won’t turn down a weekly stipend, either. I mean, what are friends for?

Another kind of lottery took place this week, and no, I didn’t win that one, either. E.L. James, author  of the best-selling originally self-published erotica book, 50 Shades of Grey, just signed a multi-million-dollar film deal for the book franchise (the series will be a trilogy) after being wooed by ten movie studios.

I tip my hat to the author on her successes, which also include a seven-figure book deal with Vintage.

I’m glad to hear (from Karin Tabke, one of the severest critics I know) that the book merits its raves, so I’ll take her word for it. (If not, I’d be afraid that she’d take a cat-o-nine-tails to me. I swear, ’cause that gal knows what hurts–on the page, anyway.)

In the profession of writing, where authors encounter many valleys and a just a few peaks, I’d say Ms. James has reached quite a pinnacle. Like J.K. Rowling, Jackie Collins, Stephen King, Danielle Steel, John Le Carre, Ken Follett, Nora Roberts, Lisa Gardner, and Kristin Hannah (to name few), she will soon be among the 1% of novelists who not only have made the New York Times Bestsellers list, but have also seen their works translated into film.

Indubitably you’ll find great sex in Ms. Collins’ steamy glam lit, as well as Ms. Steel’s socialites-behaving-badly tomes and Ms. Roberts’ unforgettable romances. But none of these can be classified as “erotica,” let alone “erotic romance.” So kudos to Ms. James for moving the genre of erotica out of bedroom and into the boardroom.

I use the term “boardroom” because I’ve no doubt that erotica be the new publishing gold rush–and that’s okay by me. Hey, anything that takes any and all women’s fiction out of publishing’s pink ghetto of  small advances/throw-it-on-the-shelf/get it no bookseller co-op or promotion is fine by me.

In a survey of 1,371 romance readers released this year by the Romance Writers of America–the trade organization which nurtures the profession of romance writing–erotic romance was a popular choice of 20% of all romance readers. If RWA does the same survey in two years, my guess is that this subgenre’s popularity among respondents will have doubled.

Today, if you put in the term “erotic romance” in Amazon.com’s search bar, you’ll see that the site is selling 4,963 paperback books under that genre, another 337 in hard cover, and a whopping 10,964 as- digital eBooks.

As for the search term “erotica,” 19,081 paperbacks pop up (pardon my pun), along with 2,216 hard cover books, and almost 50,000 hot and spicy digital eBooks.

Sounds like a helluva lot of hanky-panky, doesn’t it?

I’m guessing these numbers will grow by double digits as well.

I have many friends who write erotica. This isn’t just a high-five for E.L. James, but a thumbs-up for them as well.  Why? Because in the eyes of readers and booksellers, the publicity surrounding the book will reignite this subgenre of romance.

The published books they’ve written may now get a second look from readers who were turned on (literally) by Ms. James’ book. And no doubt they and their agents will be fielding calls from editors who never before acquired erotica (let alone erotic romance) but have fallen in love with their backlist, and want to publish their next hot-and-bothered books.

And yes, I’d be the first to applaud them, if that happens. As a professional writer, I can’t afford to be jealous of others’ successes. It’s a waste of my time and energy–which is better spent writing my own stories.

Besides, it’s just bad karma –

Which, in this case, is doe-eyed heroine: naked, submissive, and wearing four-inch stilettos.

Color me blush pink,

– Josie

Do you read erotica? If so, what is your favorite erotica book? Do you think it would translate into film? I wanna know, so comment below!

Hey, and since it turns out that K-Tab didn’t win the Mega Millions either, if you do comment I’ll enter you for a chance to win a copy of my dollface gal pal Karin Tabke’s soon-to-be-released novel, BLOODRIGHT, Book #2 of the BLOOD MOON Trilogy! (I’ve linked to her red hot excerpt, so enjoy!)

5 BONUS POINTS for reading this excerpt from my novel, THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN’S HANDBOOK, and emailing me at MailFromJosie@gmail.com, with the answer to this question:

What does the skinhead take as a trophy?

Today I’m at Left Coast Crime in Sacramento — the best thing about this conference is that it’s local! No airfare, no hotel. I’m “commuting” each day (Ok, that’s kind of bad, I really hate commuting!) But I’m definitely all about penny pinching now, especially since my oldest is going off to college in the fall … so commuting it is.

Checking in with you all may be a bit haphazard, so in light of Deb’s great blog about endings last week, I thought I’d talk about beginnings.

For me, beginnings are the hardest part of writing. Where to start? In what POV? How much do I need to say about my series character? How can I entice new readers but not make current readers bored?

Sometimes, my first first line stays for the entire draft, editing, and revision process … like in IF I SHOULD DIE:

Guilt led him down the dark, cold passage many times that winter.

Other times, I write and rewrite the first line and almost always it comes to me much later and I go back and fix it. In fact, with SILENCED, the original first chapter was moved to later in the book, and I wrote a completely new opening during revisions. Here’s the opening line:

The whore traitor lived in a secure building with live cameras and nosy neighbors.

The opening line in the prologue of THE INFORMATIONIST by Taylor Stevens completely hooked me:

This is where he would die.

I greatly enjoyed this book–definitely “unputdownable” and introducing a terrific and original heroine.

Most readers give the author a couple pages, so perhaps relying so much on the first line or first paragraph isn’t important. But the opening passage sets the tone and expectations. In STEIN ON WRITING by editor Sol Stein, he wrote that he did a reader experiment by walking into a bookstore. He was certain that readers read the first 3-5 pages before making a purchase decision. He watched during a lunch hour and was stunned by the results: Almost without exception, if the reader pulled a book out, read the opening page, then turned the page, they bought the book. Readers who read the opening page but didn’t turn the page, put the book back on the shelf.

Even if you’re not so quick to judge, it’s clear that the first few lines are pivotal.

One of my favorite books of 2011 was Darynda Jones‘ debut FIRST GRAVE ON THE RIGHT. From the cover and title, you know what you’re getting, and the opening paragraph clinches the deal:

I’d been having the same dream for the past month–the one where a dark stranger materialized out of smoke and shadows to play doctor with me. I was starting to wonder if repetitive exposure to nightly hallucinations resulting in earth-shattering climaxes could have any long-term side effects. Death via extreme pleasure was a serious concern. The prospect led to the following dilemma: Do I seek help or buy drinks all around?

Darynda has a strong and compelling voice–fun, sarcastic, witty, fresh. Is it any wonder that she’s a DOUBLE Rita finalist with this book?

J.D. Robb opens every book with a wowza of a one-liner, which immediately conveys tone and character.

While a late-summer storm bashed against her single skinny window, Lieutenant Eve Dallas wished for murder. — NEW YORK TO DALLAS

A late-night urge for an orange fizzy saved Nixie’s life. — SURVIVOR IN DEATH

For him, death was a vocation. Killing was not merely an act, or a means to an end. It certainly was not an impulse of the moment or a path to gain and glory.

Death was, in and of itself, the all. — CREATION IN DEATH

So pull out the book you’re reading or one you just finished and share the opening line. Does it do the book justice? Have you read the author before or is this a brand-new reading experience? Everyone who plays today will be put in the “hat” for a chance to win a $25 gift certificate to the on-line bookseller of your choice … AND (drum roll) an early copy of SILENCED.

SILENCED received a Top Pick from RT Book Reviews (yeah!) which said, in part, “Edge-of-your-seat suspense … from first to last, this story grabs hold and never lets go.”

I scratched my head when I read that the guys who started AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com got a two-book deal…

Well, what do ya know? When the first book was published, it made the New York Times bestseller list.

The franchise now includes a board game, calendars, and tee-shirts.

Go figure.

This is one of my favorite photos from the book. (What can I say? I’m a Trekkie nerd…)

I guess it’s a great sign about people when they can laugh at themselves.

In my opinion, these authors deserve all the success they can get. They’re mining a treasure trove of our worse memories: those incidents most of us have hoped were buried deeper than between two sheets of acetate and under the bed, up in the closet, or down in the cellar.

For me, that includes every bad hairdo and fat phase.

For my kids, I’m sure it’s every and any photo in which they are standing beside my husband Martin and me.

Martin knows no such qualms. He never changes! His photos must be in the attic on some paranormal easel that keeps him looking perpetually a decade younger.

If and when I flip through my old childhood  photo albums, a few of the snapshots might actually make me wince because of the event where it was taken. The picture wasn’t as bad as some off-hand remark that was made that day, some hurt feeling incurred. When we’re younger, we’re more sensitive. We haven’t had time to develop such thick skins.

It’s why I worship La Mer. Softens the face, if not the heart.

I take a lot of pictures with my digital camera. Sometimes I post them online. In all honesty, it’s been a while since I’ve had any printed out. You can’t even do it anymore in my local CVS. I have to run to the store-formerly-known-as-Kinkos to do that these days, and that’s just too much of a bother. Yeah, yeah, I know: I can always uplink them to an online printing source, but truth be, I miss the shock and awe of picking through the bad ones.

Do you still have your old photo albums? If so, what do you think are the chances they’ll outlast you as your legacy?

Let’s play Future Shock: Will our photo legacies live, in perpetuity, online?

—Josie

In fact, I want to make a contest out of it! Your thoughts on these questions are welcomed — and so is your funniest family photo!

Each comment gets one shot at the a free copy of THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN’S HANDBOOK, whereas a photo, emailed to MailFromJosie@gmail.com, gets you five bonus shots.

You can read an excerpt here…

Is there any better feeling than accomplishment?  Oh, I know, there’s crazy hot sex, chocolate covered potato chips, and that first sip of ice cold chardonnay at the end of a tough day.  All pretty good stuff, but for me, meeting and beating a daunting challenge is one of life’s ultimate highs. That’s why I’ve been walking around with a loopy grin for the past few days, punching my fist in the air when I’m not patting myself on the back.

I just finished revising a manuscript.  Sounds simple enough, right?  A routine accomplishment for a career author, especially when you consider that this was my 30th book.  But nothing about this revision was routine.  A few months ago, I blogged about fast drafting this manuscript, which is titled Barefoot in the Rain and will be the second in my new Barefoot Bay series.  My editor loved the story, I’m happy to say, but also had some absolutely brilliant insights on how to make the manuscript stronger.  One of her suggestions had to do with the backstory and the idea really resonated with me…even though it changed the entire book.

Okay, the revision note maintained the the essence of the story — we never even had to rework the sales catalog copy I’d submitted — but “how” that story unfolded changed completely.  Revisions tend to have a domino effect — every change can mean another change and all those changes impact characters, motivation, story arc, plot points, conflict, scene order, emotional revelations,  turning points, and darn near every line of dialogue and introspection.  Still, I wanted Barefoot in the Rain to be all that it could be, even if that challenged me on every level.

I started the rewrite on February 1 after an editorial call to clarify some points and several hours of highlighting and annotating the revision letter.  I took the marked up manuscript, laid the first ten chapters out on the floor and shared it with one of my readers.  “Bow wow, Bacon Lady,” Pepper said to me.  “You need a whole new opening scene.  No, scratch that.  You need a whole new book.”

You know how that felt?  Well, have you ever been mountain climbing?  Have you ever stood in the foothills and looked up at the summit of a mile-high mountain knowing you’d committed to reach the top and you’re just not sure you are made of the stuff you need to conquer that climb?

Neither have I.  (I mean, really, have you met me? I don’t climb mountains!  I shop!)  But I imagine the climber is thrilled, scared, anxious, and pumped at the beginning…then ragged, exhausted, lost, and ready to quit about half way through…and finally high on altitude and the sweet taste of success as the end draws near.

That’s pretty much how the last 39 (but who’s counting?) days were for me. Some days were exhilarating because I knew I’d nailed the emotion; some days were dark and difficult because I veered off the path or stumbled into scene after scene I had to cut.  I admit to a few tears, a lot of prayers, and the occasional bad word.  But when I dragged my sorry behind up to that summit (AKA the Epilogue) I felt I’d finished one of the most powerful, most emotional stories I’ve ever written.  I reveled in that marvelous sensation of having accomplished something extraordinary.   When I stabbed that flag of glory into the highest peak (okay, I just hit send, but you get the idea), I was on top of the world.

Throughout this difficult climb, I learned a lot about myself, about storytelling, and about these characters.  For example, I learned that I can not write a love scene until I truly understand the hero and heroine’s deepest, darkest emotions.  I realized last week, when I was rewriting a love scene for the bajillionth time, that in my last five manuscripts, the scenes I revised the most were the love scenes.  I change the point of view multiple times, adjust the setting, restructure the dialogue, even alter what they do and how often they do it.  Because that scene isn’t about sex, it’s about the character’s fears and hopes and a lot of times I just don’t know what those are until I’ve finished the book.

I also learned I’m good for one chapter a day (about 12  -15 manuscript pages) — in revisions, not fresh writing.  After that, my brain is mush, my vocabulary is the equivalent of a second grader’s, and anything I write will need to be completely rewritten the next day.  But that means a thirty-four chapter, 100,000 word book can be done in six weeks.  (No days off, ever.)  For those of you trying this at home, remember: this was a revision.  I’d already written the equivalent of a 65,000 word synopsis.

I learned that the journey cannot be undertaken alone.  Unlike the “fast draft” which I did (twice) for this manuscript, a true revision requires at least one other set of eyes to help you see where you may have veered off track and/or suggest ways to fix story problems.  Ideally, this person is an editor, but a rock solid critique partner or beta reader can be an excellent guide up the mountain, even if all they do is carry the water.  With me on this climb was my beta reader, our own MSW regular commenter Barbie Furtado, who did far more than water duty.  She read scenes, chapters, and A WHOLE MANUSCRIPT (minus the last two scenes — how mean am I?) overnight.

And you also can’t climb that mountain without some really understanding, funny, supportive and loving friends who will let you call or email daily (hourly?) to quit cry for help drunk dial talk about how great it’s going.  (I beg you, please buy every book ever written by Louisa Edwards and Kristen Painter.  Ever.  Go, off to Amazon, now.  I’ll wait.)  I also kept a running commentary/update on my FB author page and got a ton of encouragement from readers who shared the ups and downs of this process.

I also discovered I have some serious writing crutches.  Like the word just, and the over use of italics, and the phrase “He just stared at her.”  Oh…and…ellipses.  Sometimes I think my name should be Roxanne St…Claire and my default reaction line is:  He…just…stared at her.

Lessons learned, mountain climbed, and the difficulties of the journey are forgotten while the sense of satisfaction lingers.  Now all I have to do is get down the other side…also known as copyedits!  Another blog!

So let’s talk triumphant achievements!  What is something you’ve done that’s given you that deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction? What challenge have you faced that felt like a climb up the Matterhorn, but you made it?  Let’s celebrate success!  

One commenter will win an ADVANCE REVIEW COPY of Barefoot in the Sand — the first Barefoot Bay novel that hits bookstores on April 24 (and another mountain I climbed a few months ago!)  Good luck!

My pal Bonnie visited me the other day, with the latest member of her family: a schnoodle she calls Abby Rhodes. Bonnie revealed that Abby had spent the first two years of her life as a shelter mutt. You could tell this, just by looking at the cute little thing: thin but not frail, a coat that lacked that best-of-breed sheen, one ear perched higher than the other…

Of yeah, and a nub where she once had a tail.

“It was broken, so the vet felt it should go,” Bonnie sighed.

But there was no regret there, at all. How could there be? Snuggled deep in the crux of Bonnie’s arm was, she felt, the dog she’d was meant to save.

This was validated whenever Abby’s eyes meet Bonnie’s.

The look of love between them is a lightning bolt of joy.

Granted, Abby no longer has a tail to wag, but she can still give the lick of love.

We are told that all dogs go to heaven. That’s got to be true. Why else is “Dog”, God spelled backward?

I was raised around Dobermans. The ones my father bought came from the Mikadobe lineage, which boasts a long line of show dogs.

Our Mikadobes were family pets. Still, with their noble demeanors, Kazan I, II, and III could easily have been contenders. Legend has it that our very first Mikadobe, a female we named Midnight, saved my toddler sister’s life by pulling her out of the street by her diaper.

Unfortunately, my husband is allergic to Dobermans. When we married, we sated our pre-child nurturing instincts by shifting our allegiance to a pound puppy we named Cassie. This lab-dal (a cross between a Labrador and a Dalmatian, something we discovered several years and half a country away, when we were parked at a red light next to a pickup truck holding her male twin) was our spoiled little princess. Feeling guilty for having to leave her for our nine-to-five office gigs, we bought her a companion: a full-bred Airedale we called Tiburon, after one of our favorite little Marin County bayside towns.

Our worries that this older male would rule the roost was put to rest when we saw how easily Cassie banished him, every evening, from our bedroom.

Talk about a bitch.

Thank goodness, she soon came to love him, too.

No doubt Cassie resented the eventual births of our son and our daughter. But she was smart enough to get over it quickly, and to reinvent herself as their guardian, sleeping under their crib. They rewarded her by tossing her any veggies they refused to eat, first rom the trays of their high chairs, then slipping it to her under the table.

Lucky dog.

Our pets teach us that all God’s creatures have complex personalities; that they love and protect us fiercely, and forgive us easily.

Perhaps too easily, considering our own sins.

I guess that’s why I find it so easy to write a dog into every one of my novels.

Which brings me to this contest…

You’re introduced to one of my heroines, Donna Stone, in Guns and Roses, the Murder She Writes anthology. Since Donna’s name is an homage to those perfect television housewives of the 1950s, you can only guess the name and breed of the dog that is loved by the family Stone.

In fact, to enter the contest, read this excerpt from The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook for a chance to win the Digital eBook, GUNS AND ROSES – A Murder She Writes Anthology.

To be eligible, answer this question via email to MailFromJosie@gmail.com:

What is the cost of Jack’s shoes?

After reading the excerpt, get a bonus point by commenting here, below, about you and your favorite pet memory….

Now, go love up on a pup,

: )

– Josie