I don’t have a dog. I don’t have a cute cat. No horses, sheep, goats. The gerbil disappeared down the heat vent and we haven’t seen her in over a decade. I don’t even want to think about where that snake went. The wheel still turns but the hamster died.
And, really, you wouldn’t want me to have a pet.
As you may already suspect, I sorta have a bad luck with our furred and/or feathered friends. But, I come by it naturally. It all started with the “Problem with the Parakeets.”
You see, when I was young I had several parakeets which I left in my mother’s care while I went off somewhere—I don’t remember exactly where, but it was for a week or two. Anyway, my mother didn’t understand than when the birds ate the seed, they left the shells. So, it still looked like they had food when…they didn’t.
We had a lovely ceremonial burial for them in the backyard. I still haven’t fully recovered.
Since then, I’ve resisted pet ownership, occasionally succumbing, but with less than stellar results. So, now, in a pet infested world, I am the worst anomaly… a non-pet person. It’s not that I don’t like animals. I do, I really do. But to me pets are like babies… somewhat overwhelming and my life has moved on. I’m the gal with my passport in my pocket and my bag packed.
So, no pooch for me. (I almost said no pussy either, but I just couldn’t… not with a straight face.)
Anyway, apparently this lack of a pet really puts me behind the eight ball when it comes to FaceBook and all this social media promotion stuff. I’ve read one testament after another stating that posts with pictures of author’s pets get the most “likes.”
I’m so screwed.
How am I going to get anyone to read my posts if I don’t have a cute kitty picture?
Never one to be defeated by defeat, I asked myself “What would Lucky do?”
Well, she’d lie, of course.
So, I decided I would “borrow” other people’s pets for my posts.
The neighbors walk their dogs twice a day. All I needed was a camera, right? No problemo. Just had to break out the old iPhone. So, one morning I went to snap some candids in the park. I thought it was a good idea too…until the police stopped me and started asking questions. They were pretty nice. I got off with a warning.
Okay, time to retrench.
I thought about just getting some stock photos from some website, but they never use the same animal. So, if someone asked me for more photos, I’d be in trouble. Pretty soon someone would ferret out the truth☺
Here’s my new plan: I want you to tell me “If Lucky had a pet (besides the foul-mouthed Macaw she already has), what kind of pet would she have?”
Or, tell your best pet story….I know you have one:)