Dear Thanksgiving Guests,
I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to learn that while I was writing seven days a week, trying to meet my deadlines in order to get a paycheck…
What? Oh you thought publishers just threw money at me? Like randomly? In big huge chunks?
Bwhahahaha!!! Sorry, I think my crazy might have been showing. Let me tuck that away under all my overdue bills.
Now where was I? Oh, while I’ve been pounding the keys (or banging my head on my desk when I’m stuck) apparently, you all have been planning.
At my house.
And seriously, I am impressed! You’ve made a lovely menu of roasted turkey, cream cheese potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes, salad, corn, warm fragrant rolls, several different kinds of homemade pies! Yum!
And the ambiance! The tables set up with fresh linens and my grandmother’s china that hasn’t been washed in two years! Gleaming crystal wine glasses! Fresh flowers! Candles!
All in my sparkling clean home. (Umm excuse me, I was just choking on reality.)
I just have one question…
DO YOU ALL LIVE IN CRAZY LAND?
You don’t plan all this with my HUSBAND AND NOT TELL ME!
So I’ve made a few changes…
Welcome to my home. See the dust on the mini blinds? Learn to love it because it’s going to be there for-freaking-ever. And no flowers on the tables? Go ahead, I dare you to ask me why there are no flowers. You want flowers? I’ll go in the back yard, yank out the rose bush and put it on the table if you want flowers so damned bad. I live to please, so go ahead, ask…
Not going to ask? Okay, good.
So here’s the deal. You ignore my flaws and failings and I’ll try to act like a sane person. Okay, maybe a drunk sane person. But that’s the best I can do.
Or we could have Thanksgiving at YOUR house.
Yeah, that’s what I thought. See you on Thanksgiving! Bring wine!
Crazy A Writer
Okay, guys, you know I’m kidding! My husband would NEVER do this. But seriously, how did the holidays get here so fast? And why is there never enough time?