Well, if not, I can tell you that some of the males I’ve bumped up against recently certainly are misinformed.
Dating. I should know better. And, when you are over fifty, as am I, well, the dating game can get down right ugly.
Allow me to elaborate:
Here are some examples of the stellar fellows I’ve spent some time with lately:
The guy who announced that his friend’s dog was so smart he could easily be trained to be a novelist.
The guy who was separated and well on his way to divorce…except his wife didn’t know anything about it–something he failed to mention.
Or the guy who responded with an exaggerated sigh to my saying I wanted him to take me out to celebrate the completion of one of my Lucky books. Then he said okay, he’d take me out…he even suggested the restaurant. On the way there he told me there was one hitch: I’d have to pay. You see he’d had a falling out with the owner and he didn’t want him to know he’d been there for dinner. So, what was my date’s contribution to the evening? He offered to drive…my car.
And, then there was the best one…the guy who, over dinner, told me we needed to talk, that there were some issues we needed to address. First: He didn’t like my clothes. Seriously, who is that shallow? I should’ve known it’d get better. The second issue had to do with my smile. He calmly asked me if I’d ever considered having my teeth fixed. My teeth are straight, just for the record, so I was a bit confused. I asked him what was wrong with my teeth. And he said, with a perfectly straight face, AND with sharp knives within my easy reach, that he just liked women with a wider palate, a broader smile. Time sort of stopped for a moment as I worked to quell my homicidal inclinations, then I calmly replied, “You don’t want me to get my teeth fixed, you want me to get my face fixed.” And he nodded! After a beat, the conversation continued with a brief exposition by yours truly on HIS… shortcomings.
Now, I know ALL men aren’t cut from the same cloth. There are great guys out there. I just seem have the incredible ability to attract the not-so-stellar. It’s a gift, what can I say?
But, I do feel sort of like Diogenese with his lantern looking for an honest man but finding only rascals and scoundrels. Thank god I don’t live in a large clay jar… but I am getting a bit gun-shy. Now, when a guy asks me out, I’m starting to doubt his character. Kidding, but you understand….once bitten and all of that.
There is a bright spot to all of this silliness: these dating adventures provide great grist for the literary mill. Now I don’t put anybody I know in my books. Each character is an amalgam of people I’ve met, and some who I can imagine. But, some of this stuff is a bit beyond even my wildness imaginings! Great stuff, really. As my grandmother always used to remind me, life is great fun if you don’t weaken.
I’ve always said that to be a writer one must get out among them and LIVE! But, between you and me, I’ve done enough “living” for awhile. Next time the urge for some male company strikes…. I think I’ll just order in (Food, folks… I’m talking food here–even though I do live in Vegas and I’m told one can have sex delivered right to one’s door.) And after dinner, I’ll just dive into a good book or watch Nathan Fillion on Castle reruns.
Is it just me, or are people, and not just the male of the species, getting more rude, more abrupt, more… ridiculous? And why? What happened to “nice?” What happened to classy?