Everyone, please give my good friend and one of the nicest people in the world, Eileen Rendahl, a warm welcome to MSW!

Thank you so much for inviting me to guest blog here at Murder She Writes. If you can judge a person by the company she keeps, then I hope everyone sees me here. It’s an honor to blog with such a talented fabulous group of writers.

I thought I’d continue what seems to be a theme here this week and talk about the heroine of my new book, DON’T KILL THE MESSENGER. Melina had a near-death experience as a three-year-old and started seeing and hearing a lot of things that no one else seemed to see or hear. Since then, she’s been pressed into service delivering messages and packages for supernatural beings. Be it a note from a love-sick Sasquatch or a package to a dwarf, Melina has to suck it up and take it where it’s meant to go or suffer the consequences. And trust me, there will be consequences.

Melina strolled into my life completely unbidden. I wasn’t looking to start a book or for a new idea. In fact, I was on deadline for another book. She just showed up and while I had to figure out how she came to be and what precisely she was, I knew instantly what kind of person she was. Smart, sarcastic and a bit of a slacker. Or, as my mother put it after she read it, “she reminds me of you, but she has bigger problems.” 

After I figured out how she came to be, I needed to start populating her world. Where did she work? What did she drive? What was her family like? And most importantly of all, who were her friends?

I grew up surrounded by sisters and female cousins. I’m very comfortable surrounded by female company and have to admit that I’ve become suspicious of women who don’t have girlfriends. The last few times someone has zinged me with one of those back-handed compliments or nastygrams that we’ve been discussing this week? It’s been a woman who later made some comment about how hard it was to get along with other women.

Go figure, huh?

My characters tend to be surrounded by girlfriends and sisters. As a writer, they give me a great opportunity to show different sides of an issue or different ways of handling similar situations. There’s another side to this coin, though. If you’re writing a romance, having a loner heroine makes it so she might not have anyone else to turn to except the hero. Now that’s good romance.

 Sadly, though, as a reader, my suspicion of girls who don’t like girls colors my perception of heroines who don’t have other women in their lives. Melina has a lot of faults. Really, she has a lot of them. Maybe too many. Not being able to get along with other girls is not one of them.

So how about you? Is a loner heroine with no friends a deal-breaker for you? Or do too many friends make it harder to focus on the relationship between the hero and heroine?

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

Rocki’s post on Tuesday asking if there was a double-standard in romance elicited a groundswell of responses from MSW readers. Some of the comments were particularly noteworthy, so I’d suggest if you haven’t read the blog you do so.

The primary theme of the blog was whether readers had a double standard in romance vis-a-vis the hero and heroine. That heroines are held to a higher standard than heroes. We forgive heroes for sleeping around, playing the field, having oodles of sexual experience–but if the heroine has more than one or two lovers (and they should be steady lovers, perhaps even a fiance thrown in there, because that would make having sex more acceptable for our heroines) then readers turn on her. That slut.

Heroines can be brave, but they can’t be proactive in a dangerous situation otherwise they are deemed TSTL. A hero, on the other hand, who runs into a burning building to save a child is, well, a hero.

The comments to Rocki’s post were also interesting, highlighting how women treat women. The cattiness. The backstabbing. The backhanded compliments (that Lori discussed yesterday.) I did remember a slight that had been irritating me–but it was directed at my oldest daughter. Katie is an athlete. She has a great body, is physically fit, has defined muscles, and has practice or works out daily. One of her closest friends is always making comments about Katie’s weight, either implying or outright stating that she’s “fat” or “chunky.” WTF? Fortunately, my daughter is far too confident and grounded to believe it, but it irritates her.

And I can’t help wonder why this non-violent aggression by women to women exists. I could cite examples, but we all have them, don’t we? Times where we’ve given, times where we’ve received. There were several comments that struck home to me:

AMALIA: I would suggest that it is perhaps instinctive for women to appreciate the Alpha male. Also, by that same logic, perhaps the problem we have with strong Heroines is that they are Competition for the best protection/food supply. If they simper, we know we can elbow them out of the way and take over!

ALY: I can only echo what so many have already said about women being the worst critics of other women. Think about the constant argument of Working vs. SAH moms. These arguments get so vicious! And instead of just agreeing to disagree or finding some common ground, the women have to beat each other down. Unfortunately, I think because women have had to fight for so much for so long, that we no longer see other women as comrades in our fight but as enemies that are in our way. And in my opinion, this fracture has helped perpetuate the double standard.

LORI: Women. NEVER men. Let me repeat that. I’ve NEVER had a man approach me and say, “Gee, I really liked the book, but I wish your character wouldn’t swear so much. Or drink so much. Or pistol whip people so much.”

I also found it interesting that Rocki, and most of the commenters who write, have a harder time with their heroine than their heroes (those who write romances.) I don’t. My heroines are so much easier for me. So I started thinking about why that was.

Sophie and Lori both write a series with a strong female lead. These aren’t romances, though there may be a romantic interest. And even they are getting flak for their straight-shooting, foul-mouthed, violent females. But probably not as much as a romance writer. I haven’t gotten much flak, either–and I finally figured out why. My heroines are in professions the average reader already equates as a “male profession” (I say this very loosely!) like cops, FBI agents, private investigators. A heroine who is a cop can get away with more than a heroine who is, for example, a museum curator.

My heroes and heroines are a TEAM. From day one. Men and women have strengths and weaknesses, and they can compliment each other when they work as a TEAM. That became so clear to me writing my Seven Deadly Sins series because Rafe and Moira must work together to defeat the demon–neither is stronger than the other. I use “stronger” to mean all-around stronger, not just brute strength. The average man has a greater capacity to gain physical strength than the average woman–but in the brain department, we all have the same potential.

My big pet peeve is alpha heroes. I know, I’m going to be kicked out of the romance community! It’s not the cops or military guys, but the brutes. I’ve skimmed some message boards that have me scratching my head at readers who forgive a hero for manhandling the heroine, or think the heroine is an idiot because she’s not caving to the hero’s will. I don’t get it. I just don’t get the allure of assholes. (Yes, I know that one woman’s asshole is another woman’s alpha . . . )

The hardest heroines for me to write are those NOT in law enforcement or a similar profession. Though Julia Chandler in SEE NO EVIL was my first “other” heroine, she was still a prosecutor who is still connected. It was really Robin McKenna in KILLING FEAR who was the biggest challenge for me. A former stripper who now owns a nightclub. How could I make her a strong heroine? I struggled with her greatly.

Female cops aren’t generally in the TSTL category because they are trained to face hostile situations. Strippers, on the other hand, have a much higher threshold. And now I realize why–I am as guilty as everyone else. I struggle to create a strong, believable heroine who doesn’t have the automatic authority to BE a strong heroine. Because I know that if she steps off the reservation and is too bold or too independent or too strong-willed, readers will hate her.

This is why I write romantic suspense with a strong emphasis on law enforcement. Maybe it’s just a little bit easier because I can create a strong heroine who isn’t going to be called a bitch by readers. And ultimately, that’s where we are. Reader expectations, which are drawn on reader lives and values–which mirror ours because writers are readers too. We’re all guilty of double-standards. And I don’t know how to fix it, no matter how unfair it is. It starts young. Drama in school starts the day the kids cross into the classroom–and it doesn’t end when we graduate.

What do you think? Are law enforcement heroines cut more slack? Who is one of your favorite non-law enforcement (i.e. “regular, everyday profession) heroine? Why?

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

I considered piggy-backing on Rocki’s post from yesterday,  and the gender bias in genre fiction, but hers was so well thought out and presented I figured I’d need more time to make mine coherent.

One thing I don’t have right now? Time.

I know, I know I’ve been talking about this deadline forever, it seems like I’ve been working on this book forever, under deadline forever, and there’s a very large part of me that cannot WAIT until Monday and this sucker is finally gone. Then there’s the paranoid part of me that thinks even if I had another month, the book still wouldn’t be done.

And I’ll admit I did feel better when Laura’s post last Friday mentioned several of the same responses I give in the throes of deadline when asked by my hubby, “How’s it going?” My response? “It’s going.”

Uh-huh. Descriptive language from writer girl.

So yesterday, as I’m tweaking and cutting, and mumbling to myself, I came across a scene I’d forgotten. One where my heroine has a backhanded compliment lobbed at her. You know those lovely little gems, like someone saying, “You don’t sweat much for a fat girl.” Of course, in fiction, I have plenty of time to come up with snappy, smartass comebacks. In real life? Not so much. With Mercy’s character, half the time I’m afraid she’ll pull out a gun and shoot the jerk (I swear sometimes I have no control over my characters, NONE)

Then after reading the review that Rocki mentioned, I’m reminded that it’s some people’s “thing” being snarky. Regardless of the situation, whether it’s a review, or a blog, or a conversation, or hell, even on twitter, even with people they consider their best friends. I’ve never understood why some people feel the need to be snarky all the damn time. I’m not that way. Sometimes? Yes. But I would be upset if that’s the first personality trait someone used to describe me.

Ooh, I know, let’s share some of the backhanded compliments you’ve either received, or given, and I’ll pony up the first book in my Julie Collins series, BLOOD TIES, for a random commenter!! And if you’ve never been the victim of a backhanded compliment….carry on

I’ll even go first. I was in a clothing store and the saleswoman saw me looking at a shirt on the rack and she said, “Oh, you don’t want that one. This color would look much better on someone your size.” Then she handed me a different shirt.

***The winner from the mismatched sock post was Michael Hartsfield, contact me offline and we’ll see if I can’t find you some funky camo socks to wear when you’re on duty ****

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

Several weeks ago, I read a review for a book I loved. I don’t know about you, but I tend to look for reviews on a title after I’ve read a book, seeking validation for my own reaction to a story.  I found a write-up on a busy and respected romance review blog, known to be fair and thorough, and often tough. The grade was slightly above average, and I read with interest what the reviewer had to say.

By the end of the review, I was shaking my head, stunned and confused. This reviewer pretty much hated the heroine of the book, calling her plucky (as in obnoxious, not plucky as in brimming with joie de vivre), spunky (adding flat-out that she “hated spunk”), annoying, smug, stupid, and extreme. However, she did applaud the heroine for one single act: falling into bed with the hero who is a selfish, self-indulgent prick. (Her precise characterization, not mine.) Because, as this reviewer essentially said, it’s okay to make a stupid decision when the decision is that smokin’ hot.

Huh?

That wasn’t my reaction to the book at all, but honestly, that’s not my point. The review got me thinking…is there a double standard in romance? Do we cut the edgy, thoughtless, selfish, indulgent bad boy a lot of slack because he’s sexy as sin, hung like a horse, and all alpha all the time? And are we just a tad tougher on our heroines, slamming the sassy, single-minded, sexually uninhibited heroine as a bitch-slut, scoffing at her spirit by calling her “plucky” as opposed to “gutsy?” I do think romance readers (and in this case, I’m counting myself as a reader not a writer) are a little lenient with our boys and stricter with our girls. I’ve never had a reviewer or reader give me a grief for writing a hero who was too decisive, too in charge, too inflexible, or too daring. I have had my more assertive heroines (Vanessa Porter of Then You Hide, I’m talking to you!) dinged for being too mouthy, too opinionated, too stubborn, and too reckless. Yet, what is the difference except semantics and gender?

I may be wrong, but I think we’re less forgiving of our heroines, and that begs the question of why. Is it because, as some have suggested, we put ourselves in their shoes and we are our harshest critics? Is it because we envy that heroine’s good fortune to have a whole book and happy ever after with a guy who turns our legs to Jell-O and our brains to mush, and he can cook well, shoot straight, and make perfect babies? Is it because we don’t really care about the heroines, we read for the heroes? Or is it because we understand women better than we understand men, we know our own nuances and flaws, our potential and our pitfalls, and when we see them reflected in a character, we want to pick them apart in hopes of conquering our own weaknesses?

I don’t know. I do know that most writers tell me they struggle more with the heroine than the hero, and I’m firmly in that camp. In romantic suspense in particular, it’s damn near impossible to write a man who’s “too alpha” — assuming, of course, he does no harm to the heroine beyond weakening her knees and stealing her heart.  Yet, I walk a daily tightrope trying to develop a woman who is strong without being a bitch, courageous without being TSTL, sexual without being a slut, and good enough to be worthy of a fabulous hero, yet not too flawless that she can’t be real.

So, lets talk about it. Readers, do you find yourself more critical of the heroine and more tolerant of the hero’s flaws? Writers, which character is harder to write, and why? And, everyone, do you think we have a double standard in judging the characters in romance? If so, why?

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

I have news! Some of you might remember my post from a couple months ago, where I talked about working on a new project that I feared might be bigger than me. It was a proposal for a new paranormal romance series and the sample chapters alone really put me through a ringer, which made me want to write the series even more! I sent the proposal to my agent a couple weeks later, and she loved it. (yay!) She sent it out to a few select editors and in the end, after a bidding war (multiple houses wanted to publish it, how cool is that?!), I sold the series to NAL last week – home of some seriously stellar paranormal talent such as J.R. Ward, Christina Dodd, Deborah Cooke, Lynn Viehl, the fabulous up-and-coming stars over at Silk & Shadows, and too many others to name here!

The inevitable question after I made this announcement to my close friends was, “What about Eve?” because they know how important the Marked series has been to me. Long story short: I was unable to continue it. Coming to that understanding was very difficult for me, because I love Eve so much and I wasn’t nearly done with her story, but finishing the series wasn’t possible at this time for reasons outside my control. I’m writing an S. J. Day/Marked story for the upcoming Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance 2, in which I plan to wrap up the pressing question left hanging at the end of EVE OF CHAOS (barring any editorial changes). In that respect, I hope to give series followers some closure. Future opportunities may arise where I can continue Eve’s storyline in novella form and I won’t rule out writing another full-length Marked novel someday, but it won’t be anytime soon. I’m committed to writing “Sylvia Day” books for two publishers and the Marked series is a “S. J. Day” project.

So, on the cusp of my birthday, I’m setting off in a new direction with a narrower focus and a new publisher. I’m very excited about this for more reasons than I can list and I’ll be sharing more about this new series when I can.

In the meantime, to celebrate the new sale, new series, and ‘nother b-day, I’m offering a $30 VISA gift card to one random commentor. Happy Monday!

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

Here are the three winners for a copy of ATLANTIS REDEEEMED by Alyssa day! BE Andersen, Chey and Tami!  Email Alyssa at authoralyssaday@gmail.com

Congrats!

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

Congratulations to this week’s prize winners!

Emmanuelle won a signed copy of Rachael Herron’s new book HOW TO KNIT A LOVE SONG. contact sophielittlefield@me.com with your mailing address and so that she can make sure you receive your prize.

Catherine who commented on Laura Griffin’s blog about saying goodbye won a signed copy of WHISPER OF WARNING. Please contact laura@lauragriffin.com with a mailing address so that she can get your prize to you.

Congratulations and happy reading!

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

I finished a book today. Whew! Ninety-five-thousand and some odd words. Four pounds, six ounces of printer paper. A gazillion hours at the computer.

In many ways, it’s like having a baby. Months and months of planning, pondering, and nurturing go into it. There are snack attacks. Missed nights of sleep. A few freakouts and meltdowns along the way.

After typing the last few lines, I got up from my computer–feeling a bit numb–and emerged from the cave I’ve been living in these past few weeks to go tell my husband the news.

“I did it! I’m finished!”

“Great!” he said, his relief palpable. (When I spend a lot of time in the cave, I can be a bear to live with, it’s true.) “So, is it good? Are you happy with  it?”

I blinked at him. “I don’t know.”

“But you’re really done?”

“I think so.” (Wavering now)

“Well, did you write ‘The End’?”

“Um, no.”

See, here’s the thing. I never write that. I think I might have written it on my very first book, but I don’t anymore because it doesn’t feel like The End. Not really. Not enough to type the words down there after the last few lines leave my fingertips. There’s still so much left to do. So much left to change, and shape, and polish. So many revisions, edits, and copyedits.

But that isn’t the only reason I can’t bring myselft to write those two little words.

I thought about explaining to him how a book is like a child, in some ways. And even when you hit those milestones, such as birthdays, and first days of school, and graduations (I’m projecting here, we’ve got some years left before then) you’re never really finished. I don’t see myself dropping my kids off at college and saying, “Well, that’s done. The End!” But I didn’t explain any of that because, well, he’s eaten a lot of frozen pizza lately and been a very good sport about this deadline, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that in my heart, I’m not really done yet.

I suppose I have a hard time letting go. I used to get weepy giving away baby clothes. I hate funerals. (Who doesn’t?) And those curbside scenes at the airport? Forget it. I determinedly avoid them. I’m not good at saying goodbye, so I skip it whenever I can. When it comes to my books, it’s especially tough for me to close the curtain on things. Maybe that’s one reason some of my favorite characters pop into future books for a visit every once in a while. I miss them! It probably sounds crazy, but when you spend months and months conversing with someone in your head, it can be difficult to let them go. It’s hard to write The End.

Can anyone relate to this? Maybe even simply as a reader who hates to close a wonderful book? Yes? No?

I should probably sign off now before soemone starts to worry that I’m hearing voices in my head (which, truthfully, I do on a frequent basis. Occupational hazard…)

Do you have a hard time writing The End? Saying goodbye? Any coping strategies to share? Or maybe you will share a book ending that moved you so much, it stands out in your mind months or even years later. I’m all ears today.

After all, my book is finished! (pretty much) I’ve come out of the cave! And in celebration, I’m giving away a signed copy of WHISPER OF WARNING, which was one of my favorite book endings. For a chance to win, just leave a comment!

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

Please give my friend and our guest today, Alyssa Day, a big warm MWS welcome!

Thanks so much to Karin and the wonderful authors here at Murder She Writes for inviting me to stop by!!  I had a blast with Karin and Allison and Eileen Rendahl and the wonderful members of the Sacramento RWA chapter this past weekend.  My first-ever tour of vineyards—loved it!

This is a crazy week for me.  I’m on deadline and just got back into town from California and we have a giant POD in our driveway that we’re filling up.  Why, you might ask?  Well, because my gorgeous and wonderful husband, who flies for the U.S. Navy, came home several weeks ago from a six-and-half-month long deployment and announced that we’re moving to Japan for three years.

THREE YEARS. 

Into a very, very small house on the base at Atsugi, outside of Tokyo.  So I’m learning Japanese and trying to pack up my life.  Much of what we own is going into that giant box to go into storage for three years. 

My life.  In a box. 

Enter: new adventure.  Is it exciting?  Yes!  Is it scary? Yes! 

Is this leap a lot like leaving a very well-paid job as a trial lawyer to be a full-time writer?

Oh, hell, yes. 

I’ve always been the type to leap first and ask questions later.  An ex (you can see why he’s an ex) called it suicidal optimism.  But life, my friends, is very, very short.  We just don’t have time to put off our dreams indefinitely, or to say “no, thanks, I’d rather just sit here in my safe place watching TV” when adventure comes calling.  I’m going to live in Japan for three years and travel all over that side of the world with my family.  My kids will learn to speak Japanese and adapt to other cultures just as I, when I was a kid, lived in the Philippines and Turkey and learned about those languages and those cultures.  My life has been enriched for it, and I hope and pray they will say the same when they grow up—I hope they will enjoy the adventure while we’re in it and look back on it fondly.  That maybe they’ll be more prone to taking leaps in their own lives that will lead to their own adventures. 

Every day, I wake up and go to work in my home office (no commute!) and, as a result of that leap I took seven years ago this month, I create stories and worlds—and  adventures of their own—for my characters.  Stories that I am so grateful to be able to share with readers.  As the old saying goes, my worst day writing is better than my best day as a lawyer.  It’s a leap I will never, ever regret.

Here’s my challenge to you:  take your own leap.  Find a way today, this week, this month, or this year to take a leap—small or large—out of your comfort zone and jump off the roof with your cape flying out behind you.  Be brave! Be bold! 

Take that leap. 

I believe in you.

Hugs,

Alyssa

P.S. Alyssa is offering 3 randomly chosen commenters an autographed copy of Atlantis Redeemed for a pledge to take a leap or the story of a leap you’ve taken recently. 

**

Alyssa Day is the RITA-award winning and New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Warriors of Poseidon series about a race of warriors from the lost continent of Atlantis who fall into a world-bending kind of love with human women with very special talents.  Her newest release, ATLANTIS REDEEMED, is in stores now:   When 2,000 years of lost emotion hit you all at once—do you fall in love or die?  Please visit Alyssa online at http://www.alyssaday.com for excerpts, a free short story, video interviews, and more.  Thank you!!

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.

It’s my great pleasure to bring you my first guest at MurderSheWrites – my dear friend and debut author Rachael Herron.  Her book, HOW TO KNIT A LOVE SONG, was released yesterday!

Rachael has been knitting since she was five years old. It’s more than a hobby; it’s a way of life. Rachael lives with her better half in Oakland, California, where they have four cats, three dogs, three spinning wheels, and more musical instruments than they can count. She is a proud member of the San Francisco Area Romance Writers of America and she is learning the ukulele. Visit Rachael at http://www.yarnagogo.com

As I compose this post, I’m finding I’m in a state of writer’s ADHD unlike any I’ve ever known before. My first novel, How to Knit a Love Song, hit bookstores all across the country yesterday. And now I can’t sit still at my desk. It’s something I’m usually really good at. I’m one of those annoying writers who writes everyday. I’m predictable. I just write.

But not right now. I flip between my Amazon rank and my email and my latest manuscript, unable to focus on anything for more than a few seconds. I tear up at anything and laugh even more easily. This trumps when I sent out the first queries to agents and sat staring at my email for months on end. This beats when my agent made The Call.

This newly-minted crazy-feeling sort of beats everything, actually. I’m reminded of being newly in love. I have the same confused feeling, like the top of my head came off sometime in the night, as if someone replaced my insides with caffeine and cattle prods.

Yesterday, we took the dogs for a walk. As we got out of car at the trailhead, they were jumping and straining at the leash, whining with excitement. After forty-five minutes of tearing around, they were more relaxed, and so was I. I’ve gotten to the point where I get so wound up I NEED TO BE TAKEN ON A WALK.

The irony is not lost on me that my book is one of the “knit-lit” books, and therefore, shouldn’t I be one of the relaxed writers? Don’t you have an image of me with a cat on my desk and a steaming pot of tea at my right hand? I’m probably listening to Enya and wearing a flowing robe, a handspun merino sock-in-progress resting on my lap.

Oh, hell no. At the moment, I have a pink stripe in my hair and it’s pulled up with a chopstick stuck through it. I’m wearing a beat up marathon tee-shirt and the sweatpants I live in while writing. The vacuum cleaner is plugged in, ready to run, but I walked away to write this (have I mentioned I’m easily distracted?). I don’t think I’ve eaten today (oh, yes, I did—two pieces of Toblerone and two cups of coffee—good to go). I’m contemplating a scene in my book in which a woman is dangling from the edge a lighthouse and whether or not to let her drop to her doom (yes, in a knitting book—I like to keep the needles sharp).

And when I’m done writing this, I’m either going to check email, go for a run, do some editing, clean the house, or hide under the covers. I might do all of those, and I might try to do them at the same time.

I have a book out there! I’m finally a writer! It’s like I have a blind date with the whole world! And I’m frantic to hear what they tell their friends about what they thought of me at the water cooler the next day.

I’m assured by my writing friends that this is normal for a first book. And there’s only one first book (thank God). But I made a decision at the beginning of this publishing ride to enjoy every moment that I could of it, and this is like the loop of the roller-coaster, the very best part, and I’m screaming and enjoying the hell out of this moment. Thanks for letting me scream a little over here.

So, when was the last time you were so excited you could barely stand it? I’ll be sending a signed copy of  How to Knit a Love Song to a commenter chosen at random, so please chime in!

©2010 Murder She Writes. All Rights Reserved.