I have two conferences coming up — Thrillerfest in NYC and RWA in San Antonio. I have a lot to say about these conferences, and you’ll hear most of it over the next couple of weeks, but today I want to talk about CLOTHES.
I’m a writer. When I get up in the morning, I walk on the treadmill, take my shower, and dress in clean pajamas or maybe — if I might be going out later — sweats and a T-shirt. I spoke to a writers group in Elk Grove last week and lamented that I had to find pants to wear because they probably didn’t want my showing up in my Mickey Mouse PJs. But even so, I didn’t get overly dressed up because really, no one cares what I look like as long as my hair is brushed, I’m clothed, and I don’t have spinach in my teeth.
RWA is a whole other story. I was stunned by how everyone dressed up. Not just business attire, but NICE business clothes. And formal dresses. And the Ritas! OMG, I was floored by the ball gowns and the jewels and the crowns and the heels.
I’m just not a dress-up kind of girl.
But I played the game for a couple of conferences. Bought cocktail dresses and heels (though never pantyhose — sorry, had to draw the line SOMEWHERE.) I own Spanx. I went out and bought make-up over and beyond mascara and a single palette of eye color. I thought, this must be fun, right? If so many people do it, it has got to be thrilling.
Uh, no.
I realized that at mystery and thriller conferences that while there are some guys in suits (and some in tuxedos, usually answering to the name of Brad Parks) and some women in business-ish attire or dresses, most of the writers (and readers) were in comfy clothes. Jeans. Polo shirts. Blazer over a T-shirt. Maybe a sweater set for the daring. And for the dinner? Even the elaborate Thrillerfest banquet? Half the attendees were in jeans.
Yes! My kind of people.
Was this because half the attendees are men? Hmm.
Okay, I won’t wear jeans to a banquet, but after about 2010 I decided that dressing up was not worth it. I bring jeans, capris, a nice pair of black slacks, a few shirts and blouses, and one cocktail dress. All in one suitcase. Sneakers, sandals, and one pair of heels (I’m liking the wedge heels these days, and have a great pair I bought last year that’ll last me for awhile.) I have the Urban Decay Naked palette for eye color (neutrals) and one small Urban Decay colorful palette, mascara, moisturizer, and that’s about it.
Sorry, but I’m a writer, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. When am I not comfortable? When I’m playing dress-up. And I’m OK with that.
But then … Victoria Alexander called me. She asked me to present one of the RITA awards. I said, “Why me? I’ve been nominated five times but never won.” I think she might have said, “Because I know you won’t say no” or “sucker” I’m not quite sure, but since I love Victoria, I said yes. Then hit myself every day for the last two months.
Why? Because presenting at the RITAs means wearing a DRESS. I think I would be banished for life if I walked out in jeans and sneakers (though I could live in them!)
This is when I wish I were 50 pounds lighter. Honestly, I’m chunky. And that’s being kind. I stopped going to my trainer, so I’m also flabby. I’d like to blame it on having five kids, but then I look at Brenda Novak and realize I can’t use five kids as an excuse for being thick in the middle. Trying on clothes is never fun because I want to see me when I was an 18 year old soccer player … but I’m not there anymore. Sigh.
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom. I didn’t want to try on dresses, but I did. Everything looked like crap. Except one. It didn’t suck. It didn’t make me look older or fatter than I was. It was simple, elegant, black. No frills, no prom dress, but almost like casual formal, if there was such a thing. Sure, I spent over $100, but not much, and it made me happy to not look like a frumpy cow or like a cougar trying to reclaim my high school prom night. And best? I can wear it to both RWA and Thrillerfest! (I would normally not wear a long dress to Thrillerfest, but this is casual enough I can get away with it, and since I’m both presenting an award there and up for an award, I might as well be slightly more presentable than normal …)
Truth be told, I’ll be dressing down for both Thrillerfest and RWA. No one cares what I’m wearing, as long as it’s clean and doesn’t smell like unwashed college student. But more important, I’ll be comfortable, and if I’m comfortable, I’ll be relaxed and have fun and get far more out of each conference.
Writers write. If people want to see us in our element, trust me, it won’t be pretty. There are days I don’t hop on the treadmill until dinnertime … which means my shower is at night.
What say you? Dress up? Dress down? Don’t care?
Allison Brennan is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of nearly three dozen romantic thrillers and mysteries, including the Lucy Kincaid series and the Max Revere series. She lives in Northern California with her husband, five children, and assorted pets.
Clothes? Like REAL clothes?!? I thought that stuff was a myth!!!! I subscribe to the Allison School of Fashion. My concession to conferences is *nice* jeans and a nice shirt, sometimes with a blazer thrown over it. I do have to be slightly more presentable at the NRCA reception because I announce and present all the awards. Otherwise? I’m all about comfort. Woman who obsess over their footware? I just don’t get it. I’d be in flipflops if I could get away with it. I am ALLLLLL about the comfort, baby! 😀
For me it’s sneakers — I’m a bitch when my feet hurt. I pay extra for a good pair of Nike sneakers every year and my feet are happy, so I’m happy. (flip-flops aren’t good for your arches.)
I’m all about the comfort, too. My idea of dressing up is putting on a nice sweater (my mother has made me several, so I use them as conversation starters because a lot of people have commented on them).
Problem is, I like dressy clothes. They just don’t like me! 🙂
What a great mom! I love, love, love sweaters. I could live in them … except of course in San Antonio in July … 😉
Allison, you definitely need good walking shoes for the river walk.
I’m totally with you there! I plan to do a lot of exploring because Lucy & Sean are set in San Antonio.
I’d go to more conferences if I didn’t gave to think about clothes! Let’s make a pajamas pact.
I’d go to more conferences if I didn’t gave to think about clothes! Let’s make a pajamas pact.
Pajama Day at a conference! I’d be there. 🙂
I’m all about being comfortable! If I could live in a t-shirt yoga pants and flip flops/sneakers I would be so happy. Leaving the house means jeans and a short sleeve v neck tshirt or a sweater. That’s about as fancy as I get. Maybe boots with low heel, but not very often. Same goes for makeup I’m just not into it.
I’d vote for PJ Day. I live in yoga pants and jeans and flip flops. I have a “conference wardrobe” because I have no use for the clothes at other times of the year! I occasionally wear something for a nice dinner out. I still add a few pieces every season because heaven forbid I’m photographed twice in the same dress. I picked up a little black dress for Thrillerfest too. I was looking for something more blingy, but found a nice dress on sale at White House Black Market where 90% of my non-writing wardrobe comes from.
I’m sure you will look gorgeous. I want to see photos. 🙂 I love those little black dresses. My favorite, the one I spent $17 on and wear to everything. I did enjoy my long one I had on in NOLA, also.
I so relate to the overweight and flabby. I have to be very careful about what I buy. Thankfully mom is great about telling me what doesn’t work.
I do have a day job. The expectation is no yoga pants and t-shirts. Sadly.
I’m a girly-girl and love getting dressed up, but my middle-aged body doesn’t agree. Since I’m a writer and a SAHM, I love the idea of playing dress-up for the conferences. I do wear pantyhose, because you do not want to see my naked legs!!! Have fun, and good luck!!
Going to my first RWA @ San Antonio and I’m stressing about the clothes. I haven’t been out of my house since 2007 in anything that didn’t have an elastic waistband. I have comfy-bras and wear my husband’s tube socks. The shoes are the killers; I have Crocs in three colors and a pair of Corona flip-flops. Didn’t know Corona made flip-flops, you say? They highlight my yoga pants and make my Walmart glitter tops look amazing. Definitely wearing those bad boys to the RITAs, assuming Corona makes ball gowns, of course.
I do triathlons which means most of my wardrobe consists of a variety of spandex that makes me look like a female Michelin man :p When I’m not wearing workout stuff, it’s shorts/tshirts or jeans and a sweat shirt. Being a stay at home mom, it’s not worth the effort to dress up and slap makeup on especially if I’m going to be working out later (yuck). So yeah, I’m all for the occasional dress up and go through the same angst as you when searching for something that doesn’t make me look like a heifer in human form.
Thank you for this post. It’s so refreshing! I agonized the first time I went to AWP and found what you’re saying to be so true. I wasn’t sure what people wore at conferences like Bouchercon, though, so this post was very comforting.
I use facebook as well – clean, and a great way of connecting with friends. I heard about LinkedIn from the book “Finding your parachute”. Expect me to send you an invite soon Bobby, though I don’t know you much :PGreat site Jacob.Adrian, You can use facebook events to advertise evangelical outreaches in a sense 😛 – maybe set up an event every weekend for lifechurch online!I think personal works best among friends – as in a personal message/email over a group message/email.God Bless ‘_^