I usually start out every year (or end the previous one) with some New Year’s Resolutions. I’m a believer in goals, and I think something as monumental as a whole new year deserves a finish line or two to give it a purpose.

This year, I didn’t really get around to making some resolutions/goals. I was working on short-term, immediate goals that were using all of my brain cells and I let the long-term plans fall by the wayside. Now, in mid-April, I’m feeling like I want an agenda.

One of the things I’ve been determined to work on over the last couple years is finding balance. It’s been a bit of a struggle, because it’s taken me this long to figure out what was out of balance to begin with. In the process, I’ve found myself spending a lot of time on certain aspects of my life and career, while neglecting others. This has led to lots of scrambling to catch up with what was ignored, which leaves me feeling like I’m running against a ticking clock. It’s been exhausting and it’s disheartening when things get missed/shortchanged. I reached burnout–physical, creative, mental–and striving for balance left me feeling even more burned out. The absolute worst part of it was losing the center I need to write the books I want to write. Writing is my joy. It’s something I’m very proud of, and it fulfills me in a way nothing else can. But I lost that somewhere along the way. I’d get brief flashes of the fire here and there, but nothing like what I used to have when I started.

In an effort to correct the imbalance in all aspects of my life, I focused on the peripheries: build in more time with schedules, make some concessions to “refill the well”, budget better, sleep more, eat less, etc. But nothing really made me feel like I was getting anywhere. It’s only recently that I’ve come to see that balance comes from within, not with out. It doesn’t matter how structured you make life on the outside if you’re feeling chaotic inside, and considering all the roles we fill–wife, mother, writer, chauffeur, businesswoman, friend, daughter, sister, etc.–chaos isn’t doable.

So the last month has seen me working on things that recharge me instead of the “well.” It’s not so much that I’m doing anything different (aside from losing weight, which feels awesome!), but that my purpose for doing things has been directed inward. By that I mean I’ve given myself permission to do things solely for me. It’s semantics really. For some reason, turning off my email because I’m on deadline doesn’t have the same rejuvenating effect as turning of my email because I want some breathing room. The result is the same–less distractions equals more work accomplished–and yet I feel recharged when the reason is because I wanted a break, and I feel more stressed when the reason is a deadline. Same action, same tangible result, and yet one leaves me feeling more balanced and the other leaves me feeling out of balance.

Call it the power of positive thinking or something else, but for the first time in a while I’m “feeling zen.”

So that’s my resolution this year, to think twice about the reason I’m doing something and to focus more on keeping me recharged. Not because of what I’ll get out of it, but for what I’m putting into it. It’s a bonus that when I’m centered and balanced, the peripheries fall into place, too. A bonus, not the goal. Basically, I was working from the outside in and failing. Now I’m going to work from the inside out.

I’m sure I’m the last person to figure this out. So I’d like to ask you: what do you do to stay centered and balanced? In what ways do you rebuild yourself so that you can continue to be all things to all the people in your life?

(One commentor will win a mini-spa kit to pamper themselves with. We all deserve it! Happy Monday.)

trope: a common or overused theme or device (Merriam-Webster)

I love talking with writer friends about writing, the career of being a writer, thoughts about the industry, and similar good stuff.

Recently, one writer friend talked about how her latest project excites her editor because it’s different. My new series excites the acquiring editor because it’s different. Different can be good.

Shortly after that conversation, another writer friend talked about tried and true romantic tropes that sell well–damsels in distress, pregnancies, secret babies, and others. We talked about how our books with strong or tortured heroines (instead of tortured heroes) don’t do quite as well as their counterparts in our backlists. (Rocki touches on that in this great post.) Different can be bad.

Most writers are aware that there are fine lines to straddle–familiar but new, different but non-alienating, surprising but still commercially viable. That’s the creative part of the business. There’s also the business part, which has a huge effect on whether or not a writer expands outside of the box. (Carrie Vaughn has a forthright post about her need to switch publishers to spread her wings.)

But today–Easter Sunday, CA earthquake day, day before I have jury duty–I’d like to take a lighter look at tropes and being different, from the reader perspective. Some of my favorite storylines involve reunited lovers, strong/troubled heroines, and millionaire heroes (just to name a few). And then there are storylines that are hard sells for me, like virgin heroines and heroines wanting sex/seduction lessons. I enjoy being surprised and I’m inclined to pick up books with haven’t-read-that-one-before storylines. I have a writer friend who likes setting up familiar tropes in her books, only to have one of the characters point out that it’s a trope and act unexpectedly. I love that!

What are some of your favorite tropes? And which ones, if any, do you avoid? What’s the last book that really surprised you in a good way?

I’m presently sitting in the Orlando airport, waiting for my flight to San Diego via Dallas while appreciating the free wi-fi that allows me to begin this blog post. I wish all airports offered free internet. Actually, I wish wi-fi was free everywhere…

It’s been a whirlwind trip with little sleep and lots to think about. I promise I’ll be adding more to this post as soon as I can. The plane has arrived and the previous passengers are filing out, so I need to get ready to get on board.

One of the topics that came up for discussion over the weekend was the process of creating the first draft of a novel. Back when I first started writing (and when I was most prolific), I would sit down and write to the end, then go back and tweak. As I learned more about the craft and my characters and plots became bigger and more complicated, I switched to a write a little/edit/write a little more/edit style. This meant that when I typed the last word, the book was polished and pretty much ready to be seen by others. It wasn’t really a first draft and I thought that was great.

I’m now trying to get back to my earlier style of just writing straight through, moving through the story at a steady clip without looking back. I’ll have to edit/revise/tweak when I’m done, but at least I’ll be “done” sooner. I’m hoping to see which method really works best for me and will allow me to enjoy the process more.

My plane is boarding, so I can’t type more now, but I’m curious to see what method(s) others use to write the first draft of a story. How do you do it? And returning to my earlier questions (posted before I could write my blog)…

How was your weekend? And what has been your favorite recent read?

I have news! Some of you might remember my post from a couple months ago, where I talked about working on a new project that I feared might be bigger than me. It was a proposal for a new paranormal romance series and the sample chapters alone really put me through a ringer, which made me want to write the series even more! I sent the proposal to my agent a couple weeks later, and she loved it. (yay!) She sent it out to a few select editors and in the end, after a bidding war (multiple houses wanted to publish it, how cool is that?!), I sold the series to NAL last week – home of some seriously stellar paranormal talent such as J.R. Ward, Christina Dodd, Deborah Cooke, Lynn Viehl, the fabulous up-and-coming stars over at Silk & Shadows, and too many others to name here!

The inevitable question after I made this announcement to my close friends was, “What about Eve?” because they know how important the Marked series has been to me. Long story short: I was unable to continue it. Coming to that understanding was very difficult for me, because I love Eve so much and I wasn’t nearly done with her story, but finishing the series wasn’t possible at this time for reasons outside my control. I’m writing an S. J. Day/Marked story for the upcoming Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance 2, in which I plan to wrap up the pressing question left hanging at the end of EVE OF CHAOS (barring any editorial changes). In that respect, I hope to give series followers some closure. Future opportunities may arise where I can continue Eve’s storyline in novella form and I won’t rule out writing another full-length Marked novel someday, but it won’t be anytime soon. I’m committed to writing “Sylvia Day” books for two publishers and the Marked series is a “S. J. Day” project.

So, on the cusp of my birthday, I’m setting off in a new direction with a narrower focus and a new publisher. I’m very excited about this for more reasons than I can list and I’ll be sharing more about this new series when I can.

In the meantime, to celebrate the new sale, new series, and ‘nother b-day, I’m offering a $30 VISA gift card to one random commentor. Happy Monday!

I recently finished reading a romance that I enjoyed. The characters were likable, exercised common sense, and were respectful of each other all the way through. They were reunited lovers–one of my favorite storylines–and there were some fundamental personality changes that needed to take place in order to reach a resolution. I finished the story with a smile. However, it didn’t make my “keeper shelf” where the books I’m certain to re-read go. In a while, I’ll probably forget I read the story.

Why? That’s the question I asked myself when I closed the book. What was missing that made the story forgettable?

Looking back, I realized it was lack of conflict for the heroine. The couple broke up because of issues the hero had and those issues had to be resolved to achieve their happily ever after. But the heroine hadn’t had, nor been part of, the problem and while the hero had to make some big internal changes, she didn’t. She was the same woman he fell in love with and she didn’t have to alter in any way to make them work as a couple.

There was conflict elsewhere in the story–external and the hero’s internal–but it missed the ahhh sensation due to the heroine not having a personal conflict of her own to deal with.

As I was contemplating this further, I was reminded of the scene in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening where Betty Buckley (playing a nutjob, which was creepier for me because of her past roles as the mom on Eight is Enough and the sweet gym teacher in Carrie) asks Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel, “Who’s chasing whom?” explaining that in every romantic relationship one person is always chasing the other.

In the books I love most, not only are the protagonists chasing each other, they’re chasing their personal dreams, and they’re conflicted about how to make them happen and still get their (wo)man. My favorite books are those where the internal conflicts of each character morph and grow as the story progresses, where the changes they need to make take place before the end of the book and initiate the need for even more changes. This doesn’t mean the book has to be angsty and/or dark. Even romantic comedies can have characters dealing with layered, personal internal conflicts in addition to their romantic and external ones.

Stories can still be enjoyable with only one of the main protagonists dealing with a major (or multiple major conflicts). The non-conflicted character can still be admirable and real. They can have faults and foibles, goals and full lives. But without some friction, there’s not as much for me to root for and become invested in as a reader. I really, really dislike conflict in my daily life, but I really, really crave it in my reading material.

So how about you? Are you a conflict junky, too? What are some of your favorite conflicted heroes/heroines? Were their partners equally driven to change and grow? And just for fun, because it’s Monday and we all have a new week in which to rock our respective worlds, I’ll give away a tote bag and winner’s choice of my backlist (anthologies are iffy, but if I have it, I’ll send it.) to one of the commentors. Winner will be announced this weekend.

Happy Monday!