Murder She Writes

So, the year is now halfway over. Can you believe it? I’m still trying to figure out where the time went. The 4th of July holiday is almost upon us. Anyone have any fun plans?

When I realized that it’s the middle of the year, I took stock of how well I’m progressing with my New Year’s Resolutions. I really had only one official goal–to read 52 books this year. I’m definitely behind, but I’m doing better than I have the last few years, so I’m hopeful that I’ll catch up by year’s end. I’ll be picking up more new books this week and plan to finish at least two, even though I have work to do and can’t take the whole week off. *sigh*

I’m also working on my fitness goals. I’ve lost weight, and I bought a Wii Fit last week. I haven’t had any chance to use it yet, because the kids are out of school and they’re enjoying it. That’s perfectly fine with me. I’ve got another way to exercise that I enjoy. There’s a park nearby that has a stream and large, tall, old trees that shade the entire route. My daughter and I walked the dog through there one day and we decided we love it. It’s an amazing little park. It’s right in the middle of a large residential area and yet when you’re inside it, it feels like you’re miles away from the city. Rabbits hop around, lizards scamper, lots of dogs being walked. My dog, Jesse, loves it, too. (I also did some clothes shopping last week, because I’m feeling good about the weight loss. That’s always a wonderful feeling!)

I’ve also kept up with my 2008 resolution to spend more time connecting with people and less time in my cave. I’ve already enjoyed one retreat with friends this year and I have another one planned for the second half of the year. I’ve talked on the phone a lot, and made it to two local chapter meetings. It’s really been good for my muse to get out and spend time with other adults, even if it’s just over the phone. Email is convenient and I love that about it, but it’s also impersonal. I’m glad the resolution is still working out this year.

How about you? Do you feel like you’ve accomplished a lot in the first half of the year? Are you on track to reach your year-end goals?

Extra: This is a big release week for the MSW gals. Toni, Debra, Heather, and I have books hitting shelves tomorrow. Toni has Girls Just Wanna Have Guns, Deb has Everywhere She Turns, Heather has Dust to Dust, and I have Eve of Chaos. Plenty of excuses to hit the bookstore this week. Congratulations to T, D, and H! Release day is always so fun!

Last week, I stumbled across an interesting blog post by author Dean Wesley Smith titled “Life After Agents.” It’s one in a series of posts that follows a model set by the History Channel series Life After People which speculates on how the removal of humans would affect the world.

In the “Life After Agents” post, Mr. Smith imagines the publishing industry without agents. He stresses that agents are employees of writers and should be viewed as such. I agree. Agents are hired by authors to perform duties for which they are paid by the author. Yet it’s more complicated than it sounds, because an agent’s job is so much more than a checklist of tasks that any layman–including the author–can do. I’m of the opinion that consulting and strategizing with an agent is where the value of the relationship lies. In order to advise effectively, an agent must possess knowledge that the author does not and they have to know how best to utilize that knowledge to reach the author’s goals.

An agent/author relationship isn’t as cut and dried as going to work and clocking in. Authors will often rely on their agent’s advice in order to make key decisions that will affect their entire career. An agent doesn’t just submit work and forward royalty statements. At least that shouldn’t be all they’re doing.

Good agents understand the author’s goals, strengths, and weaknesses because they listen. They ask key questions to determine what the author wants. They help the author to map out a career plan and consider the best ways to maneuver from Point A to Point B. They will target the author’s work to the house and editor where it will receive the best attention. They know which editors are making good things happen and which editors don’t have the clout to muster support for a book. They know which houses have lists so full it’s highly likely your book will “get lost” in the shuffle. This type of knowledge is vital to the planning necessary to achieve personal happiness, career longevity, and increased income, and most authors need an agent to get it.

As an author who’s had multiple agents and a long stretch of managing my career by myself, I believe a great agent can be priceless. The good ones would certainly be missed if they were gone.

This past week a friend of mine lamented her recent purchase of two romance novels. Her problem with both of them was the lack of conflict. It seems both stories had an external problem to work out, but internally… nada. The couple was clearly on the road to HEA, regardless. Their only problem was the external plot needed to be resolved, but as a couple, they were good to go. She asked me if this type of story was the norm now. After all, she’d picked up two books and they both had the same sort of setup.

As a reader, I understood what she was saying. I’d also noticed that some of the romances I’ve picked up over the last year or so lacked a “black moment.” I find that so odd. If there’s no question that the couple is going to end up together, where is the story? If the focus is entirely external plot, is that even a romance anymore? (internal conflict and black moments don’t apply exclusively to romance, but I’m talking about romantic fiction here). I’ve always thought external conflicts were important because they bring internal conflicts to a head. Sink or swim. Do or die.

My friend’s question tied into an issue I’d had with a book I’ve been trying to write unsuccessfully for months. Over the last few years, my stories have gotten progressively “darker.” There’s nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to switch things up when I started the new book. Both for my sake and for readers. While I believe that an author needs to consistently provide a signature experience for their readers, I also believe that familiarity breeds contempt. I think it’s important to surprise yourself and the reader with something new within the framework of the author’s promise to the reader. (which is really another blog post altogether…)

I spent weeks trying to come up with the first chapter. It took me months to roll past the 100 pg mark. I began to dread facing that book every day, because it was a pain in the arse to write. Nothing flowed. It took me far too long to realize that by working so hard to make the book “lighter”, I’d gone too far in the other direction — there wasn’t enough internal conflict. The external plot was there, but there was a lack of internal GMC (goal, motivation, conflict) for both characters. (there was also a lack of a “ticking clock”, but that, too, is worthy of its own blog post.) I was bored because the characters weren’t growing. They were just going through the motions. In order to root for someone, they have to be working toward something. Otherwise, it’s like going to a football game where the winning team is known to all and the players just hang out on the field until the time’s up. Sure, they may be horsing around and getting to know each other, which would undoubtedly be fun to watch, but is there a story there?

The discussion about conflict spilled over to our chapter loop, where some writers agreed with my friend about missing romantic conflict and others disagreed, saying that they disliked angsty books and felt that black moments often felt contrived to them. Candy Halliday wrote a blog post about real-life black moments, because someone had pointed to black moments as the reason why they don’t read romance. For me, though, I don’t think conflict = angst.

So I was wondering… Can you give some examples of conflict that wasn’t angsty? How do you feel about conflict in the books you read and write? How about black moments, do you think they’re contrived?

There are times when I feel as if I’m somewhat of a veteran writer. I look at my backlist and numerous publishers, and think I’ve experienced a lot. I write in a variety of genres and lengths. I’ve had three agents and several editors. Haven’t I done just about everything?

Then there are the times when I realize I don’t know much at all. Times when a new experience hits me right between the eyes and I understand that there are facets of this business I haven’t seen yet. Things you can’t prepare for. Things you see coming but you can’t avoid them, even when you try.

For me, the hurdle I tried to leap but tripped over is what writers call “burn out.” It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you keep dipping the quill and not refilling the well… Well, it happens. Maybe not for everyone, but it happened to me. I’ve been dealing with it for a year and a half now. Seems like a long time, doesn’t it? It does to me. But contractually, I couldn’t take any time off. I continued to write.

Oddly enough, I think the books I’ve written while “burned out” are my best work yet. So, what’s the complaint?

Writing is a lot more of a struggle than it used to be. Every day, it became harder and harder to write effectively, and I accomplished less and less. Dehydration. Slow and steady, the pool of creativity grows shallower until it’s completely gone. The joy of writing follows suit and then it’s just torture.

I tried pushing through it. I tried talking to friends about it. I tried approaching it like an obstacle and maneuvering around it. All of that was exhausting and didn’t get me anywhere. Finally, I gave myself permission to stop doing anything. It wasn’t easy. People were disappointed and/or angry. My family budget tightened. I felt guilty for giving myself a break. I felt defensive when prodded by well-meaning friends, as if it was even possible for me to do anything other than rest. (Seriously, there are only so many months that you can try to write and get nowhere before you realize the effort is futile. When the well is dry, stabbing your quill into it only hurts your hand and breaks the nub.)

I knew I was in trouble when I looked into the future without a driving urge to keep my release schedule hopping. I even entertained the thought of never writing again and was strangely okay with that. I just wanted a break. Whatever it took. (Which speaks to how burned out I was. Writers can’t quit forever. That’s like holding your breath until you die.)

Here’s where my inexperience came into play. There was still part of me (the little devil on my shoulder perhaps) that said I was going about the whole “dry well, burn out” scenario wrong. I chastised myself:

• Writers only get burned out only when they seriously f*ed up somewhere, so suck it up and drive on.
• Screw the whiny pity party and get to work.
• This is a business. You don’t have the luxury of waiting for a muse.

Jack London said you can’t wait for inspiration to strike, you have to go after it with a club. Definitely Mr. London knew more than I do.

Then I ran across a post by Neil Gaiman. (Don’t you love when the timing is perfect?) Whatever experience I think I’ve got, Mr. Gaiman has gazillions more of it. And he says:

• Writers and artists aren’t machines.
• I would rather read a good book, from a contented author. I don’t really care what it takes to produce that.
• Some writers need a while to charge their batteries, and then write their books very rapidly. Some writers write a page or so every day, rain or shine. Some writers run out of steam, and need to do whatever it is they happen to do until they’re ready to write again.
• And sometimes, and it’s as true of authors as it is of readers, you have a life.

(There are more gems in the post. I hope you’ll go read it.)

This is a new experience for me — the dry well, the acknowledgment of the burn out, and the acceptance of my individual process to get back to a creative frame of mind. Neil talks about being “young, driven, a borderline workaholic, and very fortunate” and I know that’s been true of me as well. (I have three single titles releasing in June!) But things change. Maybe I’m not so young (in mind and/or body). Maybe I’m less driven. Maybe I ran out of luck. If so, I might be evolving into a new creative process that involves a slower pace and more downtime. Maybe it’s temporary and after awhile, I’ll be recharged and tearing off again. I don’t know. I’m inexperienced in this regard. But someone with experience says there are lots of ways and my way isn’t the wrong way. Makes me feel much better knowing that.

The lovely Karin emailed me with a gentle nudge this morning about missing my MSW post. I’m still sitting here wondering where the last two weeks went! I spent a few days in Florida at the RT Convention, then a few days afterward recovering (lack of sleep coupled with jet lag is a killer!), but after that, all is a blur. I was just about to fall asleep last night when I vaguely remembered an email I’d received last week that needed answering that I hadn’t yet answered. I hopped out of bed and went down to my office to take care of it, because I knew I’d forget otherwise! Such is the state of my mind at the moment. Scattered and kind of slow. Despite this lapse in effectiveness, my brain has suddenly been inundated with story ideas. I don’t know where they came from or what to do with them. I’m wondering if I have to lose all reason to get creative…? Anyway, my post may be a scattered sampling of my brain contents. Could be frightening. (Just sayin’…)

I’ve picked up a lot of books over the last few weeks, all of them by new-to-me authors. I seem to be on a horror kick of some sort, which is interesting. I used to read a lot of supernatural thrillers and horror several years ago, then drifted away from them. Apparently my interest is back in full force, because the heavy box that arrived from BN.com last week was filled with horror and thriller hardcovers. (I was also disappointed that the only death on Harper’s Island was a guy who shot himself in the leg. I must be feeling bloodthirsty lately.) Are you on any sort of reading binge now? Anything really catch your attention the last two weeks?

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo. Since it’s a weekday, we’ll head out to a restaurant for Mexican food. Yum. (Just thinking about it now is making me hungry!) We lost several of our local restaurants to the state of the economy, so I’ll have to do my research to find a new place to go. It’s all about the salsa for me. I judge the restaurant by the quality of the salsa. Fresh and hot are two must-haves. Are you doing anything special for the day? Cooking? Going out? Nada?

A couple things going on web-wise:

• I’m over at the Romantic Times message board for the next two weeks in the Ask The Author forum. I’d love it if you stopped by, even if you don’t have anything to ask.
• Brenda Novak’s Diabetes Auction is going on now and there is a TON of fabulous stuff there. I hope you’ll stop by, check it out, and find something to bid on! If you donated something to the auction, could you list it in the comments?

Happy Monday!

Eve of Darkness releases next week! *ack* I’m trying very hard not to think about it, despite having to do so much work based around it. I get butterflies. Seriously. How crazy is that?

It’s been over a year since my last new release. I’ve never had such a gap. I’m wondering now if I forgot what it’s like the week before the on-sale date? Or if it’s just more hectic this time than usual. Requests for everything under the sun have rolled in over the last several days, and I’ve been scrambling to get them all done before I leave for the RT Convention in Orlando on Tuesday morning. I have an article due for the Tor Books newsletter tomorrow and I still haven’t figured out what I should write about. *ugh* Does anyone else find it hard to talk about (sell) their books?

So, since I’m trying to avoid thinking about work right now and I just finished watching the latest episode of The Tudors (red hot poker, anyone? Yikes), I thought I’d talk about the television shows that have managed to capture my attention this season. Is anyone else watching The Tudors. Henry VIII seems much chillier this season and less stable. I’m not sure there’s anything in his life that makes him happy. The Pilgrimage of Grace retelling is painful to watch and Henri Cavill’s tortured portrayal of the 1st Duke of Suffolk is brilliant.

I’m still sad over the loss of E.R. I’ve watched the series on and off over the years, but they hooked me again with the addition of the phenomenal Angela Bassett. It was wonderful seeing former members of the cast come back to say goodbye. I loved how they ended it with an homage to the pilot and without really “ending” it. We were left with the notion that County was going on as usual, we just won’t get to see it.

I’m also enjoying the new Harper’s Island. Anyone else watching it? I’ve Twittered about it a few times and my description of it is “entertaining in a campy, movie-of-the-week sort of way. It’s combination teen soap opera and B-movie horror.” Yes, I admit it, I find such things amusing. To be honest, I “skim” the show. I peek around my laptop when I think someone’s about to die so I’ve only collected bits and pieces of the plot, but I’m still into it.

I really like Dollhouse and I think it’s a shame that it was scheduled on Friday nights when I’m pretty sure the targeted demographic isn’t even home. (Hence the 7 to 1 ratio of DVR to live viewers.) Fox will probably cancel the show because they haven’t yet figured out that Joss Whedon is golden. I hope Joss moves to cable where they’ll love him. I find myself watching more and more original cable programming.

Another cable show I’m hooked on is Dexter. I love, love, love that show and I’m eagerly awaiting its return. How will Dexter function with a wife and three kids? And Rita has really blossomed, so it will be interesting to see how her growth affects Dexter.

Wow, there’s a pattern emerging here. Who knew I was so bloodthirsty…?

So what about you? What’s your Must See TV? Are there any special events in your life that you’re looking forward to ?

How is it possible that it’s April already? Wasn’t it just Christmas? I can’t believe how quickly this year is rushing by. It’s tax time! *ugh* Don’t want to think about that now…

My kids are out of school for the next two weeks. It’s hard for me to get anything done when they’re home, unless I get up early and work on my To-Do list before they roll out of bed. Once they’re up and running, all bets are off. They argue, want to eat a lot, want to go out somewhere, want me not to work, etc. I wish I’d been prepared. I could have ordered some of those cool craft kits from Oriental Trading Company to keep them busy. Nothing occupies kids so much as making a mess. At least that’s true for mine. But I didn’t realize they were off school for so long until today. *smacks forehead*

One day soon, I hope to be able to take a day off without it throwing me completely off my schedule. I’m not there yet, but almost. Still, we have tickets to Disney’s California Adventure that expire on the 11th, so we’ll be braving the crowds and heading over there sometime in the next few days. They’re both so excited. They’ve been before, but don’t remember it. I’m looking forward to seeing their wonder. I’m sure I’ll pick up a few new story ideas, too. That often happens when I’m surrounded by people.

Spring Break perk: I get to sleep in for the next two weeks! I’m loving that. For me, my ideal time to crawl out of bed is 9 AM. I’m alert all day when I can do that. (I love sleeping. Am I the only one?)

Directly after they go back to school, it’ll be time for me to pack for the Romantic Times Convention. Anyone else going? I used to love flying. Now I do it so often and travel so far, I’m starting to dread it. Seven hours in the same position in the same seat seems like seven days. But the time spent with friends and readers makes it worth it. I’m really looking forward to this year’s RT, although I think it will be my last for a while. I can’t wait until RWA comes my way – both Anaheim and San Diego. O’course SD is 7 years away… But with the way this year is going by, it’ll be here before I know it. *g*

Is Spring Break affecting anyone else’s week? What have you got planned?

(BTW, Tor is holding a contest now to win copies of EVE OF DARKNESS, which–finally!–releases in just 3 weeks. If you’d like to enter, head over here: us.macmillan.com/tor/promo/eveofdarkness)

…you don’t have the time or the tools to write.” – Stephen King, On Writing

For the last couple of years, I’ve really struggled with reading. I used to read a book a day, but last year, I managed to read less than a dozen. I tried to figure out what the problem was. Was it the books themselves that caused my reading slump? Had the quality diminished? Why did so few books hold my interest? Did I have ADD? Was my internal editor too damn loud? I wondered if it was the stress of my crazy schedule that prevented me from connecting to the stories I read. I felt guilty every time I took a reading break, which is hardly conducive to getting lost in a book.

Simultaneously, my writing became a struggle, too. While I’ve managed to remain somewhat productive, the ease with which I used to write deserted me. Making my daily page count grew tougher and tougher, until I finally had to lower my expectations so that I didn’t disappoint myself all the time. I began to wonder if I’d reached a total burnout point and even contemplated stepping back from my career altogether; an odd and distressing mental state to be in considering the multiple new series I’m launching this year.

So I started this year with a reading goal — 52 books, one for every week of the year. I figured that was doable. I’m a really fast reader, thanks to a power reading course I took (and enjoyed). I’m happy to report that I’m ahead of my goal so far. And somewhere along the way, I got my reading mojo back. I can easily get lost in a book again. I’ve had all-nighters, and I’ve shed tears. I’ve laughed, and felt my heart race.

Ah, the joy of reading! How I’ve missed it. How my writing has missed it!

So what screwed it all up to begin with?

I’m still testing out the theory, but I think reading for me is habitual. I have to get in the groove and actively work to stay there. I have to make time, every day to read. Because if I don’t, it becomes my habit to not read. It’s happened to me before. From the age of 17-27, I didn’t read for pleasure at all. Seriously. I gave all my books away. I had none. Not one. It wasn’t until I was a SAHM that I started reading again. And remembering my dream of wanting to be a published author. And sitting at my keyboard to write several books over that first year.

My productivity has a direct correlation to how much I read. All those times I felt like I couldn’t afford to take time to read a book, I really couldn’t afford not to. I know that now. And hopefully knowing is half the battle. Hopefully, I’ll stay conscious of my need to read and make it happen, come hell or high water.

For you writers out there who’ve lessened their time for reading, have you found that it affects your writing? And for the ARC of EVE OF DARKNESS that I offered up on my last blog… Greta, you won it.