In two weeks our competition season will be over, and my Dancing Daughter is making a huge move. She will be moving to a new dance studio, and basically starting over. This is a brave–and rather scary–move for a child who has been at the same studio since she was six years old. There are many reasons for our decision to move to a new studio, not the least of which is her desire to advance and improve her technique. And the new studio has an EXCELLENT reputation for technique.

They also have many, many incredible dancers. I suppose there are those who would think it better to stand out on a mediocre team, than to be one of many on a great team. But there is a lot you can learn from dancing with other great dancers. And they push you to be better. You have to work hard to make dances at the new studio, and that means you are pushed.

There are other reasons for us to move, which I won’t really relate here, because this is a blog about writing, not dance studios. What? What you say? It does not APPEAR to be a blog about writing!

If you just give me a minute, I’ll figure out a way to tie it into writing…. Hmm. This was harder than I thought.

Oh, oh, oh! I know. If you hang out with great authors, like the great dancers, you are pushed yourself, and you learn a lot from them. It inspires you to do better than say, if you are the very best author in your publishing stable. That has not happened to me yet, and if it ever does, I’ll let you know. But it could happen, and then what would I do? I’d not be pushed and I would not have to try so damned hard with each book to make it better.

Competition is good, as long as it is friendly and doesn’t involve people with sharp weapons. Now, I don’t always get to hang out with as many incredible authors as I would like (except for the lovely, talented, and murderous ladies here at MSW), so I thought for fun I would post a few that I would love to have an hour or two getting to know.

Jeffrey Deaver–I met Jeffrey, briefly, at the first Thrillerfest, and I would have loved to have spent more time getting to know him, asking him questions about his writing, his method, his madness….er, well, maybe not madness.

Laura Lippman–I adore her writing, and her books, and I want to be her when I grow up. Too bad I’m already so old.

Jonathan Kellerman–I like his Alex Delaware series, but I think the reason I want to have lunch or drinks with him is he just looks so aloof. I want to break through that exterior and make him laugh. I would try hard not to snort milk through nose. I promise.

Dennis Lehane–I love his work, even the work that others don’t love so much, and so would love to have tea with him. I am not a stalker, though. I promise.

John Irving–John Irving is the reason I AM a writer. I have read everything he’s ever written, even the really weird stuff, which I still managed to love. I want to eat sushi with John Irving and stroke his knee and ask him about his childhood. That sounds a little stalkerish. The hour is late. I do not stalk people.

Dorothy Parker–I would like to ask Dorothy Parker if she liked cats. I suspect she did not.

Nora Roberts–I would like to know if Nora is a robot or an alien from another planet. Because I just do not get how she can be so prolific and yet stay so good.

So, there’s a few of the authors I would like to hang with. How about you? Any authors you would like to hang out and rub off on you, and please, tell us WHY…. (Ooooh, I copied Karin and made this another color. I am so cool. Or she is so cool. Or we are both cool. Something.)

If you’ve been following the news, you are aware that last week the Texas authorities raided the FLDS Compound, YFZ Ranch (Yearning for Zion) and took all the children they found into custody. More than 400 children are in state custody. Up until this point, they had allowed the mothers of these children to go with them to the holding center, but this week they forced the majority of the mothers to leave. The only ones allowed to remain were those with very, very young children. As a spokeperson for Texas said, “It is not the normal practice to allow parents to accompany the child when an abuse allegation is made.” And she is right. However much love these mothers feel, they are ALLOWING the abuse.

I like Texas. They moved in because they received several disturbing phone calls from a 16-year-old girl who complained that her “husband” was abusing her and beating her. At this point, they say they have not identified the girl who made those calls, but have gone ahead with the action.

Go Texas! No wimpiness there. They have the big cojones, and they are not afraid to use them. The sad part is, I know these children probably do not FEEL like they have been rescued or saved. They probably feel as though they have been ripped from their families, and all they have ever known. And they have. Even worse, they have been taken into the arms of the “enemy.” The evil outsiders. Those who would keep them from the Kingdom of God.

These children do not know that their leader, the currently imprisoned Warren “Weenie Rat Face” Jeffs has admitted he is not really a prophet. This is the man who moved them all to Texas, who has married off hundreds of young girls, who has abused many more himself.

But these kids don’t know this.

I am feeling some angst for them, and I’m sure many others are as well. Not enough, however, that I think Texas made the wrong move. I say KUDOS to them, when all the other states with polygamist communities that exploit children are left alone because it is “religious freedom.”

The very first book I ever wrote, SISTERWIFE, dealt directly with polygamy, centering on a polygamous cult in Central Utah. Some of the first rejections I got on this book were, “Too far fetched. Couldn’t happen.” “Not realistic.” Then it started happening. Well, not started happening. It was ALWAYS happening. The world just didn’t know about it. Now, Warren Jeffs has made it VERY, VERY REAL.

FYI, if you are interested, this book is now available for FREE on my Web site.

I, for one, am glad to see this action, and hope that Texas will follow through getting these children placed into appropriate homes. I would HOPE they would allow their mothers the opportunity to LEAVE the abusive sect and start over with their children, because most of them were raised the very same way. They don’t know anything different.

So what do you think? Do you think Texas was right in raiding the YFZ Ranch and removing the children?

This is one of my favorite subjects, mostly because it is a catalyst for my Jenny T. Partridge Dance Mysteries. And whenever I start thinking there might not be a new story, well, ONE JUST DANCES right out in front of me. Take this weekend for instance.

I left Chatter Child in the care of her father, now that she is well on the mend, and headed to Denver with Dancing Daughter, the morning after she made junior high cheerleader. She’s pretty stoked about that, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the story. Just thought I would throw it in because it’s pretty cool. At any rate, we flew into Denver Friday night, and convention/competition started on Saturday. Classes ran all day Saturday, and competition was Saturday evening. Sunday was more classes, and it culminated with an awards ceremony on Sunday afternoon.

One of the most interesting aspects of the convention is they give away scholarships. The dance moms spend lots of money buying new outfits for their children, so they can catch the eye of the judges, who will then see their spectacular talent and award them a scholarship.

Sometimes, perhaps, they are hoping that the judges see the child’s spectacular new outfit and do not notice there is no dance talent at all and still award the scholarship.

And then there are those who take it a bit further, say, all the way to ManicMomville, as they set their alarms, get up at 5 a.m., rouse a very tired and grumpy child and spend HOURS putting curls into said child’s hair so that the spectacular outfit, the dance talent, and of course, the FABOO hair, will ensure that everyone recognizes their child is far superior to any other child. They will then willingly fork out somewhere around 2500-3000 dollars to go to California to attend nationals so that THEIR CHILD can receive even more recognition than they have already received.

I know one of those moms. And Sunday afternoon her daughter, wearing the FABOO outfit, with the sausage curls, DID win a scholarship to nationals. Now, keep in mind this scholarship is worth NOTHING. There is not competition fees awarded, or entry/convention fees, or airfare or hotel costs included. It simply means that the child gets to compete with other children from other cities around the United States to be represented by a talent agency and maybe become FAMOUS. That’s a big maybe.

Now, not all the scholarships are this type of scholarship. They do give tuition and hotel and airfare scholarships away, and those are worthwhile. But this one? This one means not a whole hella lot, except maybe a “Well, that’s cool,” because we had three girls from our studio win it last year, and they haven’t seen much out of it. But the fact it was given, well, for the mother I mentioned above, it is THE WORLD.

She is living vicariously through her daughter, so this was validation that they “really, really like her.” (Unsure if I mean her or her daughter? That’s okay. It validates my point.)

Said daughter received said scholarship, and said mother whooped it up, took child out to celebrate by buying new Nike sneakers and having dinner at expensive restaurant in Denver.

What she didn’t do? Call home to check on her other children the ENTIRE weekend. Other children are young, and they missed mom, but mom and mini-Mom were busy whooping it up in Denver, spending money the family does NOT have (the father just lost his job), and not answering phone calls or checking in with her peeps.

It gets better. Said mom ALSO rewarded her child with a later flight, so she could sleep in and get the rest she needed. The change in itinerary only cost $75, which means it was $150 worth of sleep-in time for said mom and mini-mom. Hey, someone said she might/could be famous one day. It’s validation.

Said mom did NOT notify husband of change, and so he began calling around to find out just exactly what alien had absconded with his wife and child. That alien would be insanity. I really don’t know what other answer there could be.

This woman’s marriage is falling apart, her other children are being neglected, they have no money, and are in danger of losing their house, and she is willing to risk it all to make sure her child gets NOTICED.

I’ve seen this woman in action for quite a few years, and she’s always been this way, but right now her entire reality is teetering on the brink of disaster, and she doesn’t seem to see it.

It’s so sad, it really isn’t funny, and yet it is. When I take these stories and use them for my books, I always keep in mind how close to reality it all is. How someone like the mom I’ve described to you is so real you can almost taste the bitter disappointment the rest of the family is experiencing. Her two boys do not play soccer, football or any other sport. She simply can’t do her daughter’s dance and “other things.” Only one thing, and thus one child, seems to matter to her. Yup, you guessed it. I’ve written about her before. She’s pretty fascinating.

But I see it all imploding on her very soon. What will she be if she can’t live vicariously through her child? Will she wake up one day and realized she missed all the lives of her OTHER children. Will it matter to her?

What do you think?

It must be television week here at MSW. At least so far. I don’t normally watch a lot of television, but since I am home playing nursemaid to Chatter Child, while she recovers from her knee surgery, I have found myself watching a bit more than normal. (Note to all: If you want to see the knee, you can check out my blog at http://www.nataliercollins.com/weblog. Right now, she looks like she is 1/4 Oompah Loompah.)

And the stress of her surgery, along with all the other stressors, has been keeping me up late. So, the other night, I was trying to wind down by watching a little late night television, and I happened to wander across the show, I Know My Kid’s a Star, hosted by Danny Bonaduce, TRAIN WRECK extraordinaire, who used to play smart-aleck Danny Partridge on The Partridge Family.

The concept is simple. Ten parents bring their respective ten children to Hollywood, because they are convinced their child is “A STAR.” And Danny Bonaduce, one of many poster boys for the dangers of youthful fame, is apparently going to set them straight. Now, I have not been able to look at Bonaduce without cringing for quite a few years, mostly because he is just sorta FREAKY looking these days. But there is still something amusingly voyeuristic about this concept. (In other words, dammit I know I shouldn’t be watching, but how do I turn away? Voila! Trainwreck concept illustrated.)

After watching the show for about ten minutes, I figured out that more than HALF of these kids have minute talent, if any talent at all. I mean, we all think our kids are the very best. But I have been involved in the dance world long enough to know that you have to be SOMEWHAT objective, and you have to be able to say, “Wow, that child really DID do better than mine.” And there are millions of parents who CANNOT be objective.

So of course, this show caught my eye, because I deal with pyscho dance moms all the time, and these parents are no different. They are just psycho stage moms (and one dad, although he got sent home on the show I watched).

There is a pushy stage mom (and former B-Movie actress) who goes into an audition with her daughter, and practically takes over. She is actually DOING the voices, and they can hear her on the tape! The kid flubs the audition, they ask the mom to leave, and then the kid does a decent job with the material. This mom reminded me of the psycho dance mom on our team–the one who knows all the moves to her daughter’s solo, and does it with her, complete with facials….

There is the mom who THINKS she is a good parent, spending time, patience and energy talking down her high-strung daughter, instead of helping her rehearse. And when she admits she has spent $35,000 in acting and voice lessons for her daughter, she is practically laughed out of the house. The child? She is just an average child. Does SHE really want this? Is this really HER dream?

Then there is the former beauty queen mom, whose daughter is TOO perky and sassy and Shirley Temple-ish for anyone’s liking, including mine. But when someone mentions it, you should SEE the sparks fly out of her mother’s eyes.

All in all, it was pretty funny, and a little sad, and there WILL be fireworks in the future, because the former B-movie actress who is the ULTIMATE STAGE MOM is good for it. You know she is.

Now the kids all seem fairly nice, and innocent, but you KNOW they are all train wrecks in the making. I think that is something Bonaduce is stressing, although it is slightly hypocritical of him to be issuing all these warnings, and then encouraging them to get their child out there at the same time. But we can’t blame him. He doesn’t have many brain cells left.

Lindsay Lohan, here we come…..

Anybody know where that (partial) title comes from? Of course you all do. But anyone who guesses correctly will have their name thrown into a drawing to win a free ARC of POINTE AND SHOOT, which I don’t have yet, but am sure I will see soon. Really.

I keep thinking that it makes absolutely no sense to try to plan anything, because something ALWAYS comes up and interferes. For example, Dancing Daughter has a convention and competition in Denver, scheduled the weekend before Chatter Child is (or was) scheduled for her surgery (to replace the torn ACL). The timing was good, but of course that didn’t last. Today we saw the doctor for the pre-op appointment, and he checked the knee, looked and me, and said, “I think we’ll do this Friday. I was able to get some operating room time, her mobility is good, and I think this is the best thing.”

Uh, okay. So, surgery will be Friday. That will give us a week to get her back on her feet (probably not literally, of course) before I take off for the weekend with the other child. I’m not feeling it. Which means there is a GOOD chance I won’t be going, and thus will lose my airfare.

This, after I already had to reschedule the flight to accommodate junior high school CHEERLEADING tryouts, which had ORIGINALLY been scheduled for the week AFTER the convention and competition. I’m thinking the universe is sending me a big fat sign, but I’m not sure if it’s “Don’t go to Denver,” or if it’s “Best thing for you to do is just crawl under your bed and stay there for the next few months.” It’s been that kind of year.

It’s also been a year in which psycho dance moms have seemed to proliferate at our studio, and one in particular has become almost unbearable. Why is it the truly crazy don’t know how really nuts they are? This mom knows EVERY single step of her daughter’s solo, and practices it WITH HER, including facials. It’s frightening. Whenever her daughter performs, all I can see is the image of her mother (a woman who is NOT small or agile) dancing around doing her daughter’s solo. My own daughter has three solos this year, and half the time if she leaves a part out, I don’t even know it. I sure as hell don’t try to dance them with her or for her.

Her doing her daughter’s dances, alone, is not cause for irking me, but she has also decided she runs the world, or at least our studio, and she sticks her nose into EVERY SINGLE THING, especially things that don’t concern her or even have anything at all to DO with her. If I get one more email with a stupid suggestion for something the Senior Company can do (and her daughter is NOT on this team), I think I’ll mail her a copy of the first book, and scratch out the psycho dance mom character’s name and put her name in. Too obvious?

But, I suppose I should be grateful for crazy moms like her, because they make Jenny’s books interesting. Even if they make my life a little more difficult.

It’s the little things that happen, I think, that really inspire books. For example, at work on Friday, we endured a lock down and a hazmat call, because someone doesn’t really like what we do. And because someone didn’t like what we do, and decided to SHOW IT in a rather ugly way, the most gorgeous man I’ve seen in a VERY LONG TIME, walked into our workplace. He had a badge, a gun, some handcuffs, and he could live in Karin’s books. I PROMISE. And it gave me an idea that I’ve been waiting for. It completed something I’ve been kicking around for a while.

So, off I go. The best laid plans may not always turn out, but at least the detours can be interesting.

Has anyone else had something go horrible awry and then discover it was a good thing?