Murder She Writes :: Blog HOME
Lori ArmstrongAllison BrennanToni McGee Causey
Sylvia DayLaura GriffinSophie LittlefieldJennifer Lyon
Roxanne St. ClaireKarin TabkeDebra Webb

Archive for the 'Allison Brennan' Category



Allison Brennan permalink 29 Comments »
Afterward: Thrillerfest
15
Jul
10
Allison Brennan Icon

The International Thriller Writers (ITW) hosts Thrillerfest in NYC the second week of every July. On Sunday, I returned from the Thrillerfest V, elated and excited and a bit apprehensive.

First, a little about the organization. ITW was originally for published thriller writers of all sub-genres, as well as the lofty goal of being a “readers” group. I think the organization has moved solidly into the thriller writers camp, but with one big exception: the organization makes a concerted effort to reach readers, librarians, booksellers and other industry folks and does an amazing job promoting not only thriller writers, but the thriller genre as a whole.

I’ve always felt welcome in ITW, even though I write what’s marketed as “romantic suspense.” I put that in quotes only because everyone and their brother has a different idea what romantic suspense is and what it isn’t.

(I have my own personal definition of romantic suspense—a hero and heroine working together or parallel to solve a crime or save the world, and they are together—and alive—at the end of the book. Other than that, anything goes—sexy or tame; gritty or light; humorous or serious. I don’t like RS rules because there are so many of us writing RS that I think RS has become it’s own genre, not purely in the suspense camp and not purely in the romance camp. But that’s a subject for another blog . . . )

ITW has developed into a truly amazing entity. They have so many opportunities for authors to promote themselves, both paid and unpaid. They have an monthly e-newsletter that goes to tens of thousands of thriller readers. The board continually develops new and innovative programs to expand the organization but more important, the published authors who make up the bulk of the membership.

ITW’s Mission is “To bestow recognition and promote the thriller genre at an innovative and superior level for and through our Active Members; to provide opportunities for mentoring, education and collegiality among thriller authors and industry professionals; and to grant awards for excellence in the thriller genre.”

You can join ITW as an associate if you are not published by an ITW recognized publisher (though they have a very liberal recognition policy.) Full members can join for free. Free? Yes, I mean it! If you are a published author, you pay no dues. How can this be? Because the anthologies where members write original stories fund the organization.

Currently, there are four or five anthologies on sale now, the two biggest being THRILLER (edited by James Patterson) and THRILLER 2 (edited by Clive Cussler) published by MIRA. A YA Thriller Anthology will be published by Tor in the Fall. I’m the managing editor of THRILLER 3 (edited by Sandra Brown) which boasts a terrific line-up of bestselling and award-winning romantic suspense and thriller authors. Most recently, 100 MUST READ THRILLERS went on-sale. I have an essay on REBECCA by Daphne du Maurier in the non-fiction anthology, the book most often considered the true launch of the romantic suspense genre.

Another amazing program that was announced at the banquet was the USO inviting thriller authors to go to Iraq. Steve Berry and James Rollins are two of them (who I know personally) and I am thrilled with this, not least of which is to help our troops. Like RWA has the Literacy Signing, ITW supports Reading Is Fundamental. Half the profits from the YA thriller anthology (edited by R.L. Stine) is going to RIF.

Because the organization is formed with tiered membership, ITW isn’t bound by many of the restrictions RWA has. But more than that, I find it a place where I fit, even though I have a foot rooted firmly in both the romance and thriller genre.

I’m not writing specifically to plug ITW—though if you want to join, here’s the link!—and the organization isn’t perfect (what organization is?) but they provide access to authors and opportunities that I haven’t found elsewhere. It started in Arizona in the heat of the summer in 2006, shortly after my first book came out, where I was lucky enough to meet some amazing people and forge new personal and professional friendships. Because it’s small—more like a regional RWA conference than a national conference—it feels more intimate and people are generally open and friendly, including some big-name authors like Harlan Coben and Ken Follett and Lisa Gardner (who won the Thriller for Best Hardcover!) and Lee Child and Steve Berry and Lisa Scottoline and Carla Neggers . . . and I could go on.

Thrillerfest offers workshops similar to RWA in that they have both craft and career tracks. But they differ in that two days are focused on “Craftfest” aimed to unpublished and newly published authors; and two days are focused on “Thrillerfest” aimed at both published and unpublished authors, as well as readers and other industry folks. You can buy a package for everything (at a discount) or piecemeal it and attend for just a day or one “fest.” NYC is expensive, and breaking it up makes it doable especially for those who can get to the city for a day trip.

I have a confession: I only attended part of one panel, other than the panels I served on. Why is this so sad? Because there were at least six that I really wanted to listen to. But I was in NY partly on business this time around—my agent hunt (which was successful!)—and because of meetings missed a lot.

I presented my “No Plotters Allowed” workshop at CraftFest. I was surprised anyone at a thriller conference would show up because honestly, I’ve met more thriller writers who plot (though certainly not all—Tess Gerritsen doesn’t plot, Harlan Coben said in a blog interview that he very loosely outlines, and sometimes doesn’t outline at all, and of course there’s me, the insane one, just sitting down and writing with a vague idea and sense of character . . . ) Fortunately, the workshop seemed well-received and I had people coming up to me throughout the week to discuss something I said that resonated with them. Yeah! Not a failure!

I was on a paranormal panel with former MSW contributor Heather Graham (an amazing author and woman, I’ve always enjoyed her books and she’s very fun on panels!) called “Why be Normal when you can be Paranormal?” Jonathon Mayberry, who writes both fiction and non-fiction, made the point that there is so much out there in mythology that we can write paranormal stories from here to eternity and still have relatively original and fresh material, if we know where to look. For example, there are different vampire myths among peoples of different countries and times, and research is just as important when writing paranormal as it is writing a straight thriller.

The next panel I served as Panel Master. Unlike RWA, the “Panel Master” (or moderator) also participates in the panel while leading the panel, creating questions, taking questions, and shaping the discussion. I never thought I’d like to be the moderator (too much pressure!) but I found I truly enjoy it and it’s almost like running a board meeting—I’m fairly competent at keeping people on task and summarizing audience questions so we move quickly. I was the Panel Master of “Is Social Networking a Waste of Time?” I had some absolutely terrific panel members, including publicists and authors who successfully use social networking. The conclusion? SN is here to stay, but find the medium that works best for you, your schedule and your personality. Be smart about it, and don’t let SN drain your creativity. If you are an awful blogger; don’t blog. If you find you fritter away time at twitter, learn to limit yourself. The authors on the panel firmly believed that twitter (and facebook) sells books . . . I am still undecided, but I believe that if you focus on doing what you enjoy, you’ll cultivate your readership, please your fans, and hopefully those fans who enjoy your blogs or twitter posts will be the ones to spread the word about your next book. But drive-by promotion is a big no-no, because readers know. That’s why you need something you can consistently do, on schedule (whether it’s blogging monthly or tweeting twice a day for ten minutes or checking into facebook at breakfast, lunch and dinner.)

There was an industry panel I missed called “Can we innovate more?” where ITW brought in major house publishers and big name authors to discuss what authors can do to help publishers sell books. I can’t wait to get the tape. Another panel that competed against one of mine was “Why do thrillers kick ass?” with Steve Berry, Carla Neggers, Ridley Pearson et. al. There was a panel devoted to innovation with e-books with authors and marketing people who have had successful promotions of e-books. A panel just on forensic thrillers moderated by Dr. D.P. Lyle (I have most, if not all, of his non-fiction books about forensics for writers.)

ITW also has spotlight guests, which are amazing sessions where popular authors are interviews. This year, they included Lisa Scottoline and Harlan Coben. Ken Follett is the new Thriller Master. And then the debut author breakfast, MC’d by Andrew Gross with a motivational speech by Brad Meltzer. I love this breakfast, even though I have to drag myself out of bed early for it on Saturday morning . . .

You can check out the full table of offerings here (PDF), including the CraftFest schedule.

And then of course, there’s the bar . . . which is worth the price of admission!

Now there are always negatives to any organization or people, but honestly, the positives outweigh the downsides, and if you write thrillers of any sub-genre, I strongly suggest ITW as the group to join.

I wish I could offer more insight from the panels, but since I didn’t attend most I can’t. If you have questions, please ask! (The big talk across the board while chatting was e-books—some authors are selling up to 50% of their books in e-book format, but most hardcover authors are at 20-30% total sales via e-book and mass market authors are much less. It really depends on your format and distribution. The business is certainly in flux, but change isn’t always a bad thing as long as you make decisions out of sound business analysis and not fear.)

I still go to RWA, and I still find immense value in the organization. It’s larger, the networking is amazing, and I get to see all my friends :) If you write romance, RWA is definitely the place to be. And since I write romantic suspense, I can’t imagine not being part of both organizations. After Orlando, I’ll write about RWA!

Some other blogs and articles about Thrillerfest:

Paranormal Romantic Suspense author Rebecca York at the Novelists Inc blog

Meg Gardiner’s “Lying for a Living” blog

Cym Lowell on “Agentfest” (speed pitching)

And don’t miss debut author Brad Parks’ ode to Brad Meltzer!

Allison Brennan permalink 52 Comments »
Social Media
1
Jul
10
Allison Brennan Icon

I’m moderating a workshop at Thrillerfest next week about social networking: Is Social Networking a Waste of Time?

My panelists include a prolific non-fiction author, a popular fiction author, a publicist, and two industry professionals and to say I’m a little intimidated to be leading such an esteemed panel is an understatement (and one of my favorite authors is on a panel opposite mine, Ted Dekker, a fabulous scary and talented thriller author with a Christian bent–I hesitate to lump him into Christian thrillers ala Frank Peretti, because it’s not really the same thing, but there is usually a spiritual undertone to his stories.)

Anyway, I was seriously considering dunking out and leaving the panel in the capable hands of pet expert Amy Shojai, who I adore, and figure since she can train animals surely she can keep a panel of industry professionals in line . . .

But then I was thinking, well, no one will show up because I’m giving a craftfest workshop called NO PLOTTERS ALLOWED. The funny thing is, I LOVE presenting this workshop because it’s both motivational and craftie–but at Thrillerfest? What WERE they thinking when I gave them the list of my workshops and they picked THAT one? Most thriller writers–particularly wannabe thriller writers–think you have to plot. No one is going to show up. Everyone will avoid me. And thus, avoid my social networking workshop.

Yet . . . I’ve committed, and in the vein of research, I’m asking YOU, dear MSW readers, to give me YOUR very biased opinion about social networking. Because honestly? It’s biased simply because you’re reading this blog! You are 1) on-line; 2) visiting an author blog; 3) likely commenting on said author blog. And because you’re visiting THIS blog, you likely visit OTHER blogs, and because you visit a multitude of blogs, you likely check out other media . . . Facebook, Twitter, MySpace . . . I know there are more, but I don’t “Link In” and honestly, I can’t maintain one more site.

I need to know, for my very unscientific research this week, some answers. And if you comment, I’ll enter you in a drawing for ANY of my books–your pick. THREE people will win a book, signed, of their choice. (I have seventeen if I include my anthologies.)

BLOGS:

On average, how many blogs do you visit a week? How many relate to books/authors? Are you more likely to participate (comment) if there is a prize offered or if the subject matter of the blog moves you to comment? What do you like most about the blogs you visit? What has turned you away from blogs in the past?

SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES:

Do you belong to more than one social networking site? (i.e. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc.) Do you get the same benefit from them, or different benefits from them? What do you like/dislike about the sites in general? (MY BIG PET PEEVE? FACEBOOK WON’T LET ME HAVE MORE THAN 5,000 FRIENDS.) Have you ever bought a book because you first “met” the author on-line — or heard about the book/author on-line and when you saw it at the store you picked it up? Have you found that you “like” an author MORE or LESS after getting to know their public face?

GENERAL:

Do you think authors spend too much time “in public” (on-line)? If YES, why? If NO, what do you like about an author’s “public” face? Dislike? What do you like most about the authors you “know?” What do you like least? All things being equal, is there too much social networking, just enough, or not enough?

Would you rather have a rare “event” (i.e. live chat, message board, video interview) once a year/twice a year or regular access to your favorite authors?

Do you have anything else to share? Pros and cons, all comments are welcome!

NOW, how am I going to use this information? I don’t know :) . . . but I hope to have a snapshot of what people active on-line think of social networking to incorporate into my questions for my panelists. I will report back and share what I’ve learned in two weeks!

Thank you for participating in this very informal survey! Have a wonderful Independence Day. I plan on watching my favorite Independence Day movie — the musical, 1776!

P.S. If you haven’t bought your copy of CARNAL SIN remember that it’s on sale now! :)

Allison Brennan permalink Comments Off
This Week’s Winners!
21
Jun
10
Allison Brennan Icon

WINNERS!

The winner of a brand-new, never been tear-stained hardcover copy of Margaret Mitchell’s GONE WITH THE WIND is Kris Gilson! As God is my witness, you never have to go without reading GWTW again! Email me at roxannestc@cfl.rr.com with mailing info!

Quilt Lady is the winner of HelenKay Dimon’s UNDER THE GUN. Congratulations! Please email HelenKay at hkdimon@gmail.com with your address.

The winner of CARNAL SIN is . . . Kristen Howe! Please email allison@allisonbrennan.com with your snail mail address

NEWS!

My publisher created an iPhone app (works on iTouch and iPad too!) for me — read excerpts, tweets, comment on a fan board, and more. I’m really excited about it :) . . . and it’s FREE! Go to iTunes and search on Allison Brennan, or click here or go to wherever you get your apps. Check it out :)

And check out my trailer for the Seven Deadly Sins series.

Allison Brennan permalink 43 Comments »
Kill Your Darlings . . .
17
Jun
10
Allison Brennan Icon

. . . I’m not talking about your children!

There’s a phrase writers use in the revision process: Kill Your Darlings. That a descriptive paragraph or scene, no matter how well-written or poignant or suspenseful or romantic or just plain stunning . . . if it doesn’t fit in the story . . . if it can be taken out without changing anything . . . has to go.

Kill it.

It’s the hardest thing a writer can do.

Because killing your darlings goes well beyond a well-turned phrase that may be repetitive, or a scene that is unnecessary. Sometimes in the slash and burn process of editing, characters need to go. And I don’t mean just killing them off in the middle of the book. I mean editing them out of the book completely.

Somehow, editing a character into nothing–completely erasing them–seems so much worse than murder.

I’m wrapping up my final round of revisions for LOVE ME TO DEATH, my January 2011 book starring Lucy Kincaid. Last night I had two major story decisions to make. The first was a series of scenes related to a character that my hero, Sean Rogan, has a confrontation with who subsequently ends up dead. The confrontation scene was fabulous–I loved the scene because it showed Sean being a hard-ass, and because Sean is a bit of a playboy and charming and always in a good humor, I wanted to show him being tough when it was warranted. And there was some great dialogue, too, a great back-and-forth that doesn’t always come easy to me. Then there was the discovering the dead body scene and being interrupted by the FBI. I really enjoyed the back-and-forth between Sean and FBI Agent Noah Armstrong as they butted heads, and then Lucy’s conflict of being in the middle of a crime scene while in the long FBI application process.

But . . . these scenes took up over thirty pages and while well-written and good, they didn’t truly advance the plot. There was no specific reason that Sean needed to talk to the dead guy before he was killed–he didn’t learn anything specific; and in fact, storywise, the guy needed to be long dead before Sean found him.

So . . . I cut all those scenes. And in cutting such a big chunk, I had to edit other scenes that were affected. But nothing changed storywise, and the revelations near the end of the book as Sean and Noah continue their parallel investigations (Sean is a private investigator) make so much more sense now! It’s as if subconsciously, I knew that these scenes weren’t necessary.

Sometimes, we don’t kill our darlings. One scene my editor identified that she felt didn’t advance the suspense plot enough, I decided to keep. I rarely disagree with my editor. In fact, I think the last time I kept an entire scene that she didn’t think was necessary was in THE KILL. But I understood what she meant, so I whittled the scene down a bit, and changed the lead-in to heighten the suspense even though the scene itself is not very suspenseful. But what it reveals about both my characters is, in my opinion, the best way to show the readers who Sean and Lucy are.

But . . . the book isn’t printed yet. The scene may end up on the cutting room floor.

I’ve had to get rid of characters, too. Take Max Revere, a true crime writer who was supposed to be a major character in ORIGINAL SIN. I love Max so much I even bought the URL of his name so he could blog. (I’m not kidding!) I wrote him into the first draft, and my editor told me that she didn’t feel he contributed enough to the story. But I was determined to make him work because I Really Like Max. So I spent a lot of time reworking the story so he had a bigger, more pivotal role. And sent the revisions in, and my editor said he didn’t have a pivotal role, and that he detracted from the story. Reluctantly, very reluctantly, I edited him out of the story. When she read the final version, she said, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but Max was removed easily.” And he was. I’d spent so much time working on his scenes that he wasn’t integral to any part of the story. Just one more character in a large cast of characters.

I argued about it. I tried to convince her that Max was essential. That he was important. That I couldn’t cut him out with messing up the story. But she was right and I was wrong. He wasn’t missed, except by yours truly.

But I was determined to write him into CARNAL SIN. And I did–he had three scenes. They are fantastic scenes. He’s smart and shrewd and intensely loyal–and he doesn’t believe in anything supernatural. He’s also a flirt, in a quiet, soulful eyes kind of way. He just has to look at you and you melt. And he has an agenda, and you know it, and even though you know he’s not all one-hundred-percent good, you’re willing to go along with him because he draws you in in his search for the truth.

And my editor said that he didn’t contribute to the story. I didn’t even argue this time, because she was right, and I knew she was right even as I wrote the scenes. But I wrote them almost defiantly because dammit, I wanted to prove that he was important!

And now he ceases to exist, except in my mind.

Max Revere will be re-born, just not in the Seven Deadly Sins series. Because I had an epiphany the other day. Max doesn’t fit in a supernatural story. He needs to be the lead character in his own story. He’s too strong a character to be secondary to anyone. I’d had a couple ideas over the years, and when I read a snippet of something completely unrelated in a publishing e-newsletter, Max just clicked into place. I have his backstory, I have his first (and maybe only) book, and I have the set-up. It just . . . works.

So not every darling killed will be gone forever. While most of the scenes and snippets I cut from my book during the revision process I’ll never use again, they often give me ideas for future stories. Cutting doesn’t bother me. I’ll slash and burn my manuscript if that’s what it takes to make the story the best I can make it. I love the revision process, even when I have to make the very difficult decision to excise a paragraph, a scene, or even a character, out of my book.

Now for a blatant piece of self-promotion . . . CARNAL SIN will be released on Tuesday, June 22! Yes, book two of the Seven Deadly Sins series is almost here. As regular visitors to MSW know, I loved writing these books. I needed to take a break from romantic thrillers, and writing two supernatural thrillers with a large cast of characters in a classic battle of good versus evil gave me what I needed to reignite my love for writing. I am particularly pleased with the blend of police procedure and the supernatural in CARNAL SIN. (For my fans in Australia, CARNAL SIN will be released down under on July 1.)

RT Book Reviews gave CARNAL SIN four-and-a-half stars and said: “Carnal Sin kicks butt!”

The weekly book buzz at Mania said in their review of ORIGINAL SIN: “Original Sin is yet another new series that is definitely more promising. Original Sin is much more grounded in the supernatural and mystery elements and other books of the same ilk. . . . Brennan masterfully builds suspense and horror in this genre-bending story. . . . All in all this was a strong start to this new series and one I’d recommend.”

I’m giving away a copy of CARNAL SIN. The winner will be announced this weekend. And if you don’t win? You can buy CARNAL SIN pretty much anywhere books are sold come Tuesday . . . or pre-order from Amazon, BN, Borders, or wherever you liked to shop! (Note to last winner of CARNAL SIN–I just got my books in, so yours is going out tomorrow!!)

Come out of lurkdom just to say ‘hi’ . . . or tell me what actor and/or actress you picture in the roles of Moira O’Donnell, Rafe Cooper, Anthony Zaccardi and Sheriff Skye McPherson . . . just for fun :)

Here’s one idea for Max Revere . . .

Allison Brennan permalink 69 Comments »
It Feels Like the First Time
3
Jun
10
Allison Brennan Icon

In December of 2005, I received my box of author copies of THE PREY, my first book.

There is nothing as exciting–except maybe holding your child after birth–than holding your first book. Months, sometimes years, of work to create a story that someone loved enough to published . . . and there it is, right in your hand. A story that started with an intangible idea, a spark of an idea, now a real book.

Long ago, a multi-published author–I can’t remember who–told me to savor each moment of publication, not just for the first book or the second, but every book after that. Because eventually, I may become complacent, or disgruntled, and I won’t take the time to simply enjoy holding a new book for the first time.

On Friday I received two copies of my fourteenth book–CARNAL SIN. It didn’t matter all the anguish that went into this book both during the writing and during production; it didn’t matter that we had cover changes and ended up with something I didn’t particularly want; I love this book. Holding it reminded me of everything I loved about writing it; I remembered my characters, the storyline, the decisions I made and the characters made. And even though this is #14, it feels like the first time.

I turned in my revisions for LOVE ME TO DEATH, the first Lucy Kincaid book, this weekend. A completely different story than CARNAL SIN. Not forgotten the book or the fact that it goes on sale in less than three weeks, but I’d put the world I’d created out of my head. Maybe that’s why seeing CS in print was so exciting–I was so immersed in my latest story that I’d put aside the paranormal.

I was probably more excited–at least I showed it more–when I received a box full of THE PREY. But my heart still pounded and I couldn’t help but smile when I held the first physical copy of CARNAL SIN.

Sometimes, the business of writing is almost unbearable. And there’s a lot of things about the business–everything but the writing part–that is frustrating or completely out of your control. That’s why enjoying the simple things–like holding the first copy of every book–is so important. It reminds us why we write, what we love about this story, and that even with all the pain and anguish of writing and production and the business of writing, the most important thing IS the story, exemplified in the final book.

What’s one thing you do that always feels new and wonderful? No matter how small . . .

Comment for a chance to win an early copy of CARNAL SIN!

Allison Brennan permalink 37 Comments »
Inside Folsom Prison-The Toughest Beat in the State
6
May
10
Allison Brennan Icon

Last Friday, I was lucky enough to tour Folsom State Prison with alumni from the FBI Citizens Academy. At least, a small part of it. They call it the “Toughest Beat in the State” and after walking it, I would have to agree. Every cop puts his life on the line when he puts on a uniform, but putting on the uniform within the walls of a maximum security facility with 4,000 felons carries additional risks.

The prison itself is huge, split between “new” (1986) and “old” (1880) Folsom. Both are still fully operational. We were at New Folsom Prison, a maximum security facility which also has a minimum security block.

Folsom State Prison, California

This photo is particularly stunning with the Folsom Dam and Folsom Lake beyond.

I drove up the road (shown in the lower left hand corner of the photo) which was lined with inspirational sayings for correctional officers. Visitors parking is there on the left, at the end of the road, and the administration building/check-in is that first building–left of the baseball diamond. The buildings surrounding the baseball diamond are minimum security facilities. These are prisoners who have less than five years to serve who have been convicted of non-violent felonies. These may include drug charges (such as selling/manufacturing); grand theft auto; drunk-driving (usually repeat offenses or where there is injury or property damage); burglary (if no one was home at the time); and similar. Prison officials assess every prisoner who comes in, looks at their sheet, prior convictions, etc to determine where they go within the prison.

We were given a talk at the beginning, where Rhonda, our veteran guide, told us that we were entering a maximum security prison and we did so with the full understanding that it’s a dangerous place. There were, as of April 30, over 100 incidents (which can be small or large.) When we went in, both B and C blocks were in lockdown because of violent outbreaks. And she pointed out, that if we’re taken hostage, they do not negotiate. None of us turned back, but it was certainly food for thought.

Minimum security inmates work the grounds, take classes, can get their GED and even an AA, and they have far more freedom than maximum security prisoners (for obvious reasons!) In fact, there is no fence preventing them from simply walking off the grounds. However, they have a long hike, there are guard towers, and any escape attempt would result in being locked in the maximum security side plus added time.

IInmates live in a dorm-like setting, with rows of bunk beds lining alcoves right off the main rooms. They aren’t in prison cells, they are allowed to purchase mini-refrigerators, televisions (they must be clear plastic to see the inner workings, no cable), and other approved electronics. They have freedom of movement within perimeters. Unlike maximum security who lost dining hall privileges (they eat in their cells), minimum security still has a cafeteria setting. That baseball diamond you see in the front center is theirs.

I had a lot of empathy for the minimum security inmates. First, they live @40 men in an alcove, sleeping about five feet apart. Hardly enough room to breathe. Their personal space is smaller than the average jail cell in maximum, though they don’t have bars and can move around. But primarily, they’re all young men. I doubted any that I saw were over 30. They have a chance to get straight, learn a skill, get their degree, and hopefully when they get out in less than five years they’ll have learned to live right.

It’s truly unfortunate that because the state of California has mismanaged our tax dollars for more than two decades, that one of the recent cutbacks has been in parolee programs. Minimum security inmates screwed up–probably not for the first time, but they weren’t committing a violent crime. (Don’t misunderstand me–I think most need to go to prison. These are felonies, not misdemeanor drug possession or minor thefts. Violent criminals usually start with the small stuff–burglary, stealing cars, selling drugs–but often escalate as they slide deeper into criminal life.) But these are the young men who I believe can change; with education, with hope, with support and encouragement, I think they could become productive members of society. Maybe it’s wishful thinking . . . but if we can’t help them, we’ll be paying for them–in prison–to the tune of $90K a year for the rest of their lives.

On the flipside, the other tragedy of California’s fiscal failure is the cut backs on the staffing side. This was made clear when we walked through the maximum security facilities (we saw A block and B block.) On many floors, only one guard is down there. There is an armed guard in the towers watching multiple floors and/or yards, but only one correctional officer on the ground. Staffing cuts put guards at great risk–as well as other prisoners.

There are no apparent cutbacks in legal, because prisoners continue to sue the prison for a variety of claims. Some are legitimate. Most are blatantly frivolous. All of them are expensive.

When we get to the maximum security side, we’re dealing with the violent felons and repeat offenders. All are there for five or more years. 80% will never be released.

B and C blocks are hardcore facilities. See the largest building on the right? That’s were we went. B and C blocks are the two separate sections (each with their own yard) at the top of that large building. (The other group of buildings closer to the dam is Old Folsom Prison. I believe that’s medium and maximum security, but I may have that wrong. It’s run separately from New Folsom.) The tower to the left is the main intake tower that we had to pass through (under?) to get to the B/C Blocks.

I learned a lot about prison politics. Gangs control everything, and gangs are divided by race. And no matter what the government or well-meaning people want to do to force political correctness on the running of prisons, safety of the prisoners and the guards must always come first. For example, Northern Hispanics and Southern Hispanics hate each other to the point that they will fight on sight. They are segregated into B and C blocks. A Northern Hispanic gang members sued because he felt it was discriminatory to segregate the two groups. But the Folsom guard who led our tour–a sharp woman with over 25 years experience in the prison system–said that every time they have attempted integration, it has resulted in violence. The judge agreed.

We all hear about how prisoners run things, and in more ways than I believed–it’s all true. They run the yard. They run the gates. They’ll tell an officer when the new prisoners come in whether they’ll accept them on the yard. Politics is everything. Our guide quoted JURASSIC PARK: “Life finds a way.” Meaning, no matter what privileges they take away, how many lockdowns they implement, how many years they tack on to a sentence, prisoners will find a way to adapt. We went up to the Investigative Services offices. Eight special guards who look like the best of special forces (all big, buff, and the two I saw rather hot!) are responsible for investigating all incidences at the prison. This means minor disagreements to violent outbursts. They check the mail (incoming and outgoing), talk to staff about prisoners, talk to prisoners about prisoners, investigating violence to determine who did what to whom and when, and it doesn’t stop there. Why? Because prisoners from other prisons have ways of communicating that would awe AT&T. 90 cell phones were confiscated last year–including data phones like BlackBerrys, Trios, etc. 20 so far this year (four months.) They monitor the mail because prisoners will send coded letters to outside friends who forward them to other prisoners in other prisons. The criminal underground is amazing–and rather scary when you consider the extent.

Another thing we saw with the investigators were weapons made at–and confiscated–in the prison. Such as a shiv made from the lid of a can. Knifes made from melted plastic. Razor blades attached to toothbrushes. And more–over a hundred handmade weapons on display–thousands have been confiscated. And prisons have staffing reductions? I don’t get it.

If a prisoner doesn’t want to play politics, they’re threatened or attacked. Prisoners who truly want to get out of politics have an option: A block.

“A” block (the buildings to the bottom of the largest building on the right) is for prisoners who are on meds (largely paranoid schizophrenics, from what I gathered–we couldn’t take notes, no purses, pens, cell phones, electronics, etc–so this is all from memory.) It’s also where they put the sex offenders because pedophiles will be killed in B or C block. It’s a fact of life–again, prison politics. Anyone in authority (such as a cop) is in A block, because again, we know what happens to cops in prison. And gang members wanting to get out of politics have a chance to go to A block–and they can never go back.

We talked to one convict who was sentenced to 15 years. He was 19 when he went in. He would have gotten out next year . . . except that he was part of a prison incident that tacked an additional 7 years on his term. He has a daughter, 13, who he has only seen in pictures. He was raised by a single mother on welfare, no dad in the picture, in an impoverished area where the only options he saw was joining a gang. (And many times, in heavy gang areas kids don’t have any real options.) He wanted out of the hardcore yard after he got the seven years and petitioned for A block. As part of the process, a prisoner has to talk–tell everything he knows about how prisoners communicate, everything he was involved in that the guards didn’t catch, tell them in a specific prisoner is in danger, or a guard is in danger, or rumors they hear. They have to answer everything.

“A” block doesn’t have the freedom of the minimum security inmates, but they have far more than B and C blocks. A block has evening time, where the cells are opened and the prisoners can go to the central area and watch TV, play an instrument, walk around, whatever. A block was clean, and our guide said the prisoners are responsible for keeping the prison areas clean–and A block prisoners do it. B and C blocks? Not so clean. (Though, apparently, Rhonda said that the single most disgusting, filthy cell block she’d ever worked in–only for a day–was women. Another guard said she’d never work in a women’s facility, that they are worse than male prisoners.)

Rhonda also told us she enjoyed taking us through because we were serious and smart–we “got it.” I didn’t understand what she meant, until she told the story that the week before she was taking a group of college students through the prison and in the minimum security facility the girls were flirting with the prisoners. Hello, girls, these are guys who have been in prison for up to five years, and you’re flaunting your wares? I would love to pick Rhonda’s brain over drinks some day, because she must have many more stories. Like the woman who flew all the way from Germany to meet with a prisoner she’d been pen pals with. When they got too up-close-and-personal, she was removed, and sued because the prison denied her the visit (fortunately, all visits are recorded so the judge sided with the prison’s decision.)

Fellow author, New York Times bestseller James Rollins, was also on the tour with me. He said he was surprised by how quiet it was. Part of the quiet was because B/C blocks were in lockdown and going through TB testing. But part was because of the location. It was serene, surrounding by oaks and rollings hills. There were geese and wild turkeys all over the yards, and in fact one wild turkey flew in front of my car as I was leaving (I didn’t know turkeys could fly!)

I think I was most surprised by the daily processes. How much needs to happen to keep the prison running as smoothly and safely as possible.

Maybe it would benefit some teens to get a tour of the prison. To see where they could be if they don’t get their act together. I wouldn’t want to go to prison–minimum or maximum security. Lack of freedom, living so close to so many violent criminals, losing hope . . .

I watched a CSI years ago where Katherine’s daughter Lindsay, then about 13, snuck out of the house while Katherine was at work. Katherine found out when her housekeeper (mother? don’t remember) called, and was looking for Lindsay when there was a call of a young teenager dead. Katherine panicked, thinking it was her daughter, relieved that it wasn’t . . . but when she found Lindsay, she was furious (and justifiably so, IMO.) Lindsay had dressed “up” with loads of make-up and clothes that looked like she was a hooker. Katherine took her to the morgue to show her the girl that was dead–saying something like, “If you continue down this path, this is where you’ll end up.” Lindsay ran out, crying. The coroner was angry with Katherine, but I was thinking, HELLO! Daughter is going down dangerous path, two weeks being grounded isn’t going to work. Sometimes, we need to scare our kids straight. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Whoops, how did that picture get in there? :)

Allison Brennan permalink 50 Comments »
Ghostly Vengeance
22
Apr
10
Allison Brennan Icon

Stephen King has said that the short story is a lost art. King is the master of the short story; in fact, my favorite King movies originally came from his short stories. (THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION was originally “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption; there was also ’1408′ and ‘The Langoliers’, both of which translated well to film, and others.) But as the magazine market has collapsed and fewer anthologies are published, the short story has become rare. My mom says she doesn’t like short stories and novellas because she doesn’t feel like there is a completely story; other people enjoy them because they can read a complete story quickly, without having to invest hours of time.

I have a 4,000 words story in the upcoming BLOOD LITE II, the Horror Writers Association anthology. I originally wrote it as the prologue for CARNAL SIN, but it didn’t fit the tone of the book. In fact, it really didn’t “sound” like me. So I added an ending to the prologue and revised it to be a complete story of the anthology: “Her Lucky Day” is the story of a prostitute who thinks she killed her john, until an unlikely savior walks in. She believes she’s been saved . . . but has she?

I received permission this week to release the exclusive short story that was printed in the special Walmart printing of ORIGINAL SIN. “Ghostly Vengeance” takes place a week after the events in ORIGINAL SIN, and a week before the events in CARNAL SIN which will be released two months from today. It will be available at sevendeadlysinsbooks.com next week, but you can read it here first! (Note: this is my copy, which doesn’t have all the nice copyeditors fixes!)

If you haven’t read ORIGINAL SIN, the short story doesn’t give much away, but it does take place after the events in OS and there are a few spoilers. It’s up to you! If you don’t want to read the short, please comment anyway for a chance to win OS, because–honestly–I’m getting a complex here. Rocki and Lori have over 100 comments each this week. Somehow, I don’t think that’s fair, do you? (I love you girls, you know it, but hey, I’m competitive!) So comment for a chance to win a signed copy of the special Walmart ORIGINAL SIN, with “Ghostly Vengeance” printed in the back. I only have a couple copies of this version, so I thought it would be an enticement! :)

Tell me what you think of my first ghost story, or talk about your favorite short story and why. One of my all-time favorites is “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. Brilliant in its simplicity, and thought-provoking as well as horrific. You remember it from school, right? The woman who gets stoned . . . and I’m not talking about pot here.

GHOSTLY VENGEANCE

(c) Allison Brennan

Why should he be alive
Breathing still while others died

–Blue Oyster Cult, “Sole Survivor”

Three nights after Moira and Rafe were nearly killed during an occult ritual at Rittenhouse Furniture Warehouse, they watched the property from a car she’d borrowed—without permission–from Skye’s neighbor down the street. Emergencies required drastic measures, and she figured if she saved the sheriff’s ass, Skye’d get Moira out of any potentially sticky situations.

Rafe shut his cell phone. “Anthony is on his way.”

“I didn’t think you’d be able to talk him out of coming. I hope I’m not over-reacting.”

“You? Overreact?” Rafe smiled. “I highly doubt that.”

Moira’s sense of foreboding had been growing all evening, and now that they’d arrived at the store, she knew she’d been right to worry. Skye was in trouble. She didn’t know how she knew—it wasn’t a vision, it was more a feeling, like a dream she couldn’t quite remember. Besides, she’d never had a vision of the future, only the present. But twenty minutes ago she’d run from Skye’s house, Rafe on her heels. She knew Skye was at Rittenhouse and something was very wrong.

Staring at the dark, empty building, Moira bit her lip and considered their options. She’d already tried Skye’s cell phone, but it went directly to voice mail. They couldn’t wait for Anthony, because if something happened to Skye while they sat around twiddling their thumbs she’d never forgive herself.

Their borrowed car was concealed on the far side of the lot under a broken streetlight. In fact, all the lights were out, which was also odd. It was the middle of the night, with a thick fog. She could barely make out the large display windows in the front of the store, but she didn’t see any flickering of flashlights or the overhead fluorescent lights. They’d been here for nearly five minutes and nothing: no movement, no light, no sound.

Skye’s truck was parked near the back entrance next to a black Jeep. They had no idea who owned the Jeep, but it could be a witch tapping into the dark energy that still permeated the area after Friday night’s disastrous ritual. Or it could belong to a couple of kids bent on making out or looting the place.

“I say we go in through the front,” Moira said to Rafe. “I don’t see any movement in the front windows.”

“Anthony said to stay put and wait for him.”

She bristled as she opened the door. “I don’t take orders from Anthony.”

Rafe opened his door. “Neither do I.”

She shivered as the damp salt air wrapped its foggy mitts around her. She wasn’t dressed for the cold, she was dressed for action: jeans, thin black turtleneck, and her special leather jacket. She pulled her long, dark hair out of her way.

“Maybe we should separate,” she whispered as they quickly shut their car doors. “I’ll take the front, you the back.”

“Hell no, we’re staying together. No way am I letting you out of my sight.”

She glanced at him, bemused. “I think I’ve proven to you that I can take care of myself.”

He smiled. “Sure you have. Maybe I need you to take care of me.”

He was teasing her, but before she could come up with a retort, his smile disappeared and he scrutinized the building, palpable tension rolling off him. “Rafe?”

“I feel—odd.”

Odd. Yeah, that was an appropriate word for the creepy crawlies that kept the hair standing straight up on the back of her neck. A darkly nagging sensation, like an itch you couldn’t scratch that worsened with each heartbeat.

They skirted the edge of the lot, where bushes and trees were dead or dying. The concrete had been pristine on Friday; the earthquake caused by the demon Envy when he roared into the building had broken the perfect slab, making the property look long-abandoned.

If someone were planning a ritual sacrifice, Moira thought, this would be the place to go. Murder, violence, and magical energy was still coating the building like a glove. Ripe for one of the dark magicians to seize the power.

Taking her hand, Rafe pulled her to his side. He assessed her critically. “You sure you’re okay? You’re still limping.”

“Am not.” Her thigh had been bruised when a demon at Good Shepherd had stepped on it with his hoof, but she wasn’t going to let a sore spot keep her from her job. She didn’t like Rafe noticing her limp. If his attention was not fully on the job, it could get him hurt or worse. “Don’t worry about me, okay? If we’re going to do this, we’re a team. Equal partners, no lone wolves.”

“Partners,” he said.

Rafe brought her left hand to his lips and lightly kissed it. The only injury she had that was still bandaged; in the heat of battle, Rafe had cut her palm to weaken the demon Envy.

Not that she was expecting a fight here.

Not that she wasn’t.

They continued to the front of the building, stooping under the large display windows in case anyone inside was looking for movement in the dark shadows.
She squatted in front of the lock. There was still a police seal on this door. No one had entered this way since the seal was put on early Saturday morning. If she broke it —well, chalk up another crime on her rap sheet.

She eyed the combination lock. “Great.” She pulled out small hand-held sheers. “This might take a minute.” Especially one handed, she didn’t have full-use of her left hand yet.

“I’ll do it,” Rafe said, taking the sheers. Twenty seconds later he’d cut through.

Rafe reached for the door handle. “Wait,” she whispered.

“What’s wrong?”

There was something tingly in the air. While it felt similar to magic—like a few too many electrons in the air—there was no magical undercurrent. No witchcraft, except for the residual spells cast three nights ago. No demons, but there was something—

From deep in the interior of the warehouse, a blood-curdling scream pierced the night, followed immediately by three gunshots.

“Skye!”

Moira grabbed the knob, and rushed in, Rafe on her heels. He grabbed her roughly and pulled her back.

“Be smart!” he growled in her ear. He was right, of course. She willed her racing heart to slow down.

They were in the main showroom. Their eyes had adjusted to the absence of light, and she could see the outlines of the furniture against the edges of the vast room. Remnants of the occult ritual remained, but much of it had been boxed and put into evidence. Moira glanced over to the center of the room where Father Philip had died . . . she averted her eyes, still unable to come to terms with his death. She pushed her grief to the back of her mind. Skye needed her undivided attention.

At first the voices in the back of the warehouse were indistinct, male and female, then Moira clearly heard Skye.

“David—we have to leave right now,” Skye said.

Moira exchanged glances with Rafe. “David Collins,” Rafe whispered. “The SWAT team leader.”

On Thursday, the night before all hell broke loose at Rittenhouse, a disgruntled employee had killed two of his co-workers and a customer before he was taken out by SWAT. Skye had been here that night, and Moira suspected that the sheriff’s presence tonight had more to do with the human murders than the demonic activity the following night.

“It’s my fault,” the male voice—David—pleaded. He sounded on edge, his voice rough and emotional.

“You did your job right, David. You saved three lives. It could have been so much worse!”

“But we lost three innocent people!”

“You can’t think that way,” Skye said.

“Don’t lecture me!”

“We have to go. We’ve seen her die three times, we have to get out of here. I’ll call Anthony, he’ll understand this better than us.”

Rafe whispered in Moira’s ear, “Ghost.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“They’re in the bathroom, right? That’s where the manager died, right?”

“Yeah, but if she’s repeatedly dying, it might just be an imprint of her death, not a real spirit.” Sometimes during sudden or violent deaths, sensitive people could see the victim die. The death loops fade away over time.

“Maybe.” Rafe sounded skeptical.

“Or a manifestation from David’s mind. Maybe he’s imagining it.”

“It sounds like Skye saw the same thing.” He glanced at her. “You haven’t seen a ghost before?”

“No,” she admitted. “You?”

He didn’t answer, and Moira wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to or because Skye and David were arguing, their voices echoing in the partially empty warehouse.

“Don’t look!” Skye shouted. “David, close your eyes!”

Rafe and Moira ran toward the open bathroom. David had his flashlight aimed toward a stall with no door. Dried blood was spattered on the three walls, trails of blood winding down to the floor where it was pooled. A flicker of energy manifested itself into a ghost.

It was Grace Chin, the last victim of Ned Nichols, the Rittenhouse shooter. She was squatting on the toilet, talking on a cell phone though they couldn’t hear her speak, her face frozen in terror as her eyes kept darting to the doorway. She couldn’t see them. She was waiting for something else.

The ghost screamed and the sound of the bathroom stall door being kicked in echoed, then the bullets, three of them, hitting Grace in the chest, the head, and again in the chest, blood spraying everywhere in the small stall, the ghostly replay hitting the walls in the same places that the dried blood now remained.

“It’s my fault!” David screamed. Just as Moira realized David had a gun in his hand, Skye saw her and Rafe in the doorway. The sheriff managed to look both relieved and pissed off.

“David—“

“Why should I live? She didn’t deserve to die, I could have saved her! I should have saved her!”

“It was Nichols who shot her, David. Get your head on straight! It was all Nichols, not you.”

“You should have let me go in sooner!”

The accusation stunned Skye into silence, and Moira took the opportunity to step into the room. Rafe’s hand was on her arm, whether to support her or hold her back, she wasn’t sure.

“David,” Moira said, “we have to get out of here right now. This isn’t real, it’s probably an imprint of Grace’s murder. Death can imprint itself anywhere, but sudden death is more likely to stick around for awhile. But if this is really Grace’s ghost, she might not know she’s dead, which makes her dangerous. You’ve got to let this go.”

“I can’t!”

Skye said quietly, “David, we’ve been friends for my entire career. You don’t want to do anything you can’t take back, and dammit, I don’t want to knock on your parents’ door tomorrow morning and tell them that their son killed himself.”

Skye’s comment seemed to shake David from his daze. He stared at his gun in horror. “I wouldn’t—“ he stopped, and said quietly. “I’ve been here every day. I walked away. But then I saw her, and I couldn’t leave. I feel so helpless, Skye.”

“I know you do. We’ll get through this, I promise.” She held her hand out for his gun.

The apparition began again, a psychic rewind of Grace Chin’s last minute alive.

Rafe said, “Moira, get them out. I’ll take care of the ghost.”

“How—“

“Go!” he ordered. “I don’t have a lot of time.”

He had that look, like he was listening to someone else. Moira pushed aside her fear for Rafe and who he was listening to, and motioned Skye to grab David’s gun.

David holstered it instead. “I can’t—“

“Don’t look!” Moira told him, pushing Skye out the door when she hesitated. “Go, Skye—now!”

Skye went, glancing over her shoulder. Moira pulled David from the room. He neither helped nor hindered her, his eyes on the ghost of Grace Chin huddled in the bathroom stall talking on the phone.

Rafe began speaking the ancient language Aramaic. Moira needed to get David and Skye away. Break the fear and grief that was keeping the two cops rooted in that room reliving the death of the one victim they couldn’t save.

They ran into the break room, which was in complete disarray—the table overturned, papers everywhere, coffee mugs shattered on the floor. Moira figured the ghost had less to do with the mess than the demon Envy who’d been drawn into the warehouse by Fiona’s coven. But either way, Santa Louisa had one more weak spot where the line between Hell and Earth was thin. Moira could feel it.

Skye opened the back door. “David, we’ll go to my house and talk about this, as long as you want.”

“I’m sorry Skye. I don’t know what got into me, I didn’t mean—“ He jumped at the ghost’s scream and three gunshots.

The back door slammed shut, pulling right out of Skye’s hand.

Moira looked at Skye, who said, “I didn’t—the wind.” She reached over to open it again, but it didn’t budge.

Skye kept pulling on the door, but Moira knew they were trapped.

Rafe walked into the back room. “We have a problem.”

“I know, your exorcism didn’t work.”

He shook his head. “She wasn’t a ghost.”

“What do you mean that wasn’t a ghost? You saw it.”

“It wasn’t even a death imprint. It was a projection—“

“You mean fake?” Skye exclaimed. “Someone recorded Grace’s murder?”

“No, I mean a . . .“ Rafe was at a loss for words, but Moira finally understood what he meant.

“Another poltergeist is playing games.”

“Would you explain how whatever it is locked us in here?”

Rafe said, “There is definitely a ghost here, and not a simple apparition—it’s a vengeful spirit. He put a supernatural force on the door. Essentially, his will is keeping it shut tight. The ghostly image we saw of Grace Chin was from his memory.”

David shook his head. “That makes no sense. Skye, you can’t be buying this!”

“Did what you see and heard make sense?” Moira asked.

Skye paled. “The ghost is Ned Nichols?”

“Most likely,” Rafe said.

David shook his head. “But I saw Grace. We all saw her. I’m not crazy.”

“The delay between the imprints,” Moira said, “was about three to four minutes. It’s been at least ten minutes since the last gunshot. The show stopped when Nichols no longer had a captive audience.”

“But why?” Skye asked.

Before Moira could tell her the why didn’t matter, the temperature plummeted in the break room. “He’s locked us in.”

“We have to get out of here,” Rafe said. “Did you feel that?”

“Yes,” she said.

“What?” Skye asked.

“The cold.”

The small refrigerator fell over, the crashing suddenly loud in the silence. Padlocks spun on a row of lockers along the far wall, then one by one the metal doors opened and closed, banging in a caustic cacophony.

“The front,” Rafe said. “We’ll break the windows if we have to. But this guy Nichols has it out for someone, and I think it’s you, David.”

“Why? Because I killed the fucking bastard?”

The locker doors crashed faster and faster.

“Don’t piss him off,” Moira said.

“Too late,” Rafe said. “I don’t think he ever intended to let David leave.”

The door into the hall slammed shut at the same time as the lockers stopped making their agonizing racket. Skye pulled out her phone. “It’s dead.”

“It’s the electromagnetic field the ghost is creating,” Moira said.

“What do we do? Can you exorcise it or something?” Skye asked. The cop hated feeling useless. Moira understood exactly how she felt.

She reached into her pocket and took out a one-pound bag of salt. “This isn’t going to be enough for all of us,” she said. She glanced at Rafe.

He said, “I’ll need your help. I don’t think I can take him down on my own.”

“I’ve never dealt with a ghost.”

“I have, follow my lead.” He frowned and rubbed his temples.

“Rafe?” she whispered.

“It’s okay, just a memory. I can do this.”

Moira ordered Skye and David to sit on two chairs. She poured a circle of salt around them. “This should keep you safe for awhile. This poltergeist is still learning his parlor tricks, he still doesn’t have a lot of control.”

“Salt?” David looked skeptically at the ground.

“It deters spirits. It’s not foolproof, but it definitely will buy you time.”

“What about you?” Skye asked.

“Years of memorizing exorcisms will come in handy,” Rafe said with a half-smile, taking out his dagger.

“You can’t use a knife on a ghost,” David said. He still looked skeptical, and Moira hoped he stayed put.

“It’s iron,” Rafe explained. “If he manifests himself, it’ll disrupt his energy for awhile.”

“How long is awhile?” asked David.

“A minute or so. Long enough.”

The iron shavings they both had in their jackets helped detour ghosts and demons from possessing them as well. Again, not foolproof—a small amount of iron wouldn’t repel more powerful spirits. But Nichols was new at this game, and it would offer them some protection.

Rafe turned to Moira. “Ready?”

She had her knife out. “Right behind you.” The door into the hall opened easily enough. “Divide and conquer,” she muttered.

“You’re being the pessimist tonight,” Rafe said, his eyes focused on the dark in front of him. “Flashlight?”

Moira handed her light to Rafe.

They walked down the short hall, past the offices, and stood along the wall looking into the main showroom. During the ritual to summon the Seven Deadly Sins, the coven had moved all the furniture to the sides. During the battle that ensued, much of it had been tossed or broken, but the police and emergency crews had cleaned up enough to get through the maze.

“There’s more energy here,” Moira said. “I feel the electromagnetic increase.”

“You’re a regular human EMF detector,” Rafe teased.

“Ha ha.”

Rafe tensed beside her. “Do you—“

“—see that? Hell yes.”

The ghost manifested itself into a pale, transparent image of his human body. He wore dark slacks, a light colored, button-down shirt and had a small red hole in the middle of his forehead.

“Nichols,” Rafe whispered.

The showroom was so cold they could see their breath.

“He knows we’re here,” Moira said. “Ready?”

Rafe launched into an exorcism Moira hadn’t heard before. Though not always effective on ghosts, a traditional exorcism could interrupt malevolent activity long enough to find a more permanent way to get rid of the spirit. Destroying their human remains was still the single most effective way of banishing a ghost.
But since cell phones weren’t working, Moira couldn’t very well call the coroner and ask him to torch Nichols’s body.

Moira kept her eyes on the ghost. The exorcism impacted him only slightly—he wavered in form, then took shape again.

Rafe paused, and Moira said, “Let me try—“

Before she could start an alternative exorcism, a chair flew across the showroom and hit the wall right next to her head.

Nichols disappeared, but the cold remained.

“Moira—“ Rafe took her hand and they started to move slowly back toward the break room.

A small table flew at them and they ducked.

“There!” Moira pointed to Nichols who was partially visible only feet from Rafe.

Rafe lunged toward the apparition with his dagger to disperse the energy. The ghost flickered and disappeared.

“Get him?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

A coat rack hit Moira in the head.

“Are you okay?” Rafe sounded both in control and panicked at the same time, if that were possible.

“I’m okay.” Damn, that hurt. She rubbed the side of her neck. She’d been beaten up during her training at Olivet, but nothing like this. “I swear, I wish it was a demon. They are more predictable than that damn ghost.”

“Demons aren’t invisible,” Rafe said. “They can’t waver in and out of sight like ghosts. But ghosts can’t drag you to hell.”

“Oh, joy, that’s looking on the bright side.”

Rafe rubbed the back of her neck. “You have your gun?”

“Of course.”

“See if you can crack the window, weaken it then we might be able to push out the glass.”

“What about the exorcism?”

“I don’t know that it’s going to work fast enough. I wish we could get a message to Anthony to burn Nichols’ body, but we’ll just have to find a way to get out of here then deal with the spirit after. I don’t like leaving Skye alone with that guy—I don’t think he’s a hundred percent stable right now.”

“Skye said she’s known David her entire life or close to it. She would have let us know if she felt threatened.”

“It was his reaction to the reenactment. He’s angry and depressed. Not a good combination.”

“Okay, escape is always good.”

“And,” Rafe continued, “I think the ghost hates you. He threw those things at you, not me.”

“Just lucky I guess.”

“It’s because you’re a woman. Do you remember Skye said after Nichols went postal last week that he blamed his boss—Grace Chin—for sleeping her way to the top.”

“That puts Skye in danger too,” Moira said, pocketing her dagger and taking out her gun.

She shot at the window.

Teeny crack. She fired again, but this time the bullet was diverted and nearly hit Rafe. Her heart quickened and she pocketed her gun.

“Plan B.”

“I don’t have a Plan B.”

“Maybe a Plan C?”

Nichols manifested in the corner of the room. Heavier pieces of furniture moved toward them. Slower than the smaller pieces, which gave them the edge.

“If I can make him retreat, it might loosen his hold on the doors,” Rafe said.

“Go for it. I’ll be bait, since he seems to really hate me.” She moved away from a buffet that looked like it was about to crush her. “And I’ve never met the guy.”

“Just don’t get yourself killed, okay?”

“I’ll do my best.”

Rafe ran along the perimeter of the showroom, toward the apparition, and Moira waved her arms to distract the ghost. “Hey, Nichols! You’re dead! It’s time to move on. I know, you’re probably freaked out because after killing three people in cold blood you didn’t get much chance to say I’m sorry before wham, bam, thank you SWAT.”

The ghost moved toward her, and Rafe lunged for it, slicing the apparition with the iron handle of his dagger. It disappeared.

“Let’s go,” he said, working his way back over to Moira. “Did you have to antagonize the ghost?”

“It worked.”

“I don’t know whether to kiss you or lecture you.”

“If you haven’t guessed, I really hate lectures.”

He kissed her so hard and so fast she would have wondered if he’d kissed her at all, except for the heat that moved through her body.

“Lecture later,” he mumbled as they ran back down the hall to the break room.

The door in front of them splintered when a bullet blasted through.

“Shit!” Moira exclaimed, pulling Rafe back toward her. “That almost hit you.” Her heart raced. They were going to kill themselves if they weren’t careful. Maybe that’s exactly what the ghost wanted.

“Hold your fire!” Rafe shouted. “It’s us!”

Moira opened the door. “Why were you shooting?”

“I saw the ghost,” Skye said, stunned. “You’re not—“

“You didn’t hit anything human,” Moira said, entering the room. Rafe was right behind her, but the door slammed shut in his face, separating them.

“Moira!”

She pushed and pulled at the door. “It’s not budging!” Moira called back to him.

“I’m going to find a way out. Be careful in there.”

“You too.”

Moira heard furniture slamming against the walls. The ghost was dividing them to make it easier to take them out. She had to distract the ghost away from Rafe.

She remembered that the ghost had gone after her. “Skye, I have an idea.”

“Great, because I have none.”

“Just play along, okay?” She turned to David who looked shell-shocked. “David, you’re SWAT, you’ve got to get it together.”

“I’m okay.” He shook his head as if to clear cobwebs. “I’ve never seen a ghost before.”

“Guess what, neither have I. You have to be the bully, he won’t believe it coming from a woman. Skye said something the other night about Nichols blaming the manager for sleeping her way to the top, or something like that.”

David nodded. “He was furious. And at Skye because she was a woman. Said she slept her way into becoming Sheriff.”

“Play that. We have to get him in here and away from Rafe.”

Another crash from the showroom and Moira tried not to picture Rafe lying injured—or worse—under an armoire.

“Oh—oh! I get it.”

Moira backed into a corner with her dagger ready, watching the entire room, an exorcism on her lips. David turned to Skye and said, “I should congratulate you, Skye—you became sheriff the old fashioned way. On your back.”

Skye was a little slower on the uptake. She turned and stared at him, shocked.

“Speak up, or are you going to lie about it?”

Moira pushed the scenario along. “You prick, don’t talk to my girlfriend like that!” She looked pointedly at Skye, willing her to get into the role.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Skye said, catching on. “So what? I’m a good Sheriff. It doesn’t matter who I had to screw to get there.”

The temperature in the room plummeted again.

“You set Ned up because you hate men,” David said. “You made me kill him because you hate men.”

“That’s right,” Skye said, less forcefully.

Nichols manifested himself right next to Moira. That, she wasn’t expecting. He reached out, waves of energy coming off of his spiritual aura, and she was flying across the room, hitting the wall.

Fuck, that hurts!

She was pinned against the wall, scarcely able to breathe let alone fight the ghost.

Nichols rushed at Skye and David, then bounced off the invisible shield the salt circle gave them. All three of them looked stunned.

“Skye!” Moira called, using the last of her breath. Skye turned and Moira tossed her dagger toward her.

Skye leapt from the circle to catch it. Nichols went for her, fast.

“Handle,” Moira said, and Skye flipped the blade around and slashed the ghost with the iron handle.

Nichols disappeared and Moira fell to the floor.

Skye rushed over to her. “Are you okay?”

“He’s no Casper.” Moira slowly rose to her feet. She took her dagger back. “I don’t think I like ghosts.”

The back door opened and Anthony rushed in. Skye practically flew into his arms. “It’s Nichols ghost,” Skye said in a rush. “He lured David here, locked us in, I don’t know what he wants—“

Anthony touched Skye everywhere, as if to make sure she was in one piece, then kissed her, holding her close.

Moira told David, “Go out, as far as you need to get reception, and call the coroner. Tell him he has to destroy Nichols’s body. Pour salt all over it then burn it.”

David looked at her like she was insane. What, he was questioning her now after everything he’d seen tonight?

“Rafe is trapped in the showroom!” Moira exclaimed. “Do it!”

Skye said to David, “Please, David, trust them. Tell Rod I’m ordering him to do it. I’ll take any fall-out.”

“All right. But Skye, in June—“

“It’s okay,” she said, “The election isn’t as important as our lives.”

“You still have my vote,” David said, and left.

Moira had already run over to the door and fought to open it. “Dammit! It’s not moving!”

Anthony and Skye came over to assist. “You’re bleeding,” Skye said.

“It’s just a little cut.” She put her hand on the back of her head. It hurt, it was damp and sticky with blood, but it would heal.

Three loud crashes from the storeroom made Moira jump.

“Stand back,” Skye said. She fired three bullets into the lock. The door sprang open.

Moira told Anthony, “You do the exorcism, I’ll find Rafe.”

Anthony didn’t like taking orders from anyone, especially her, but she didn’t give him time to argue before she rushed down the hall ahead of him.

“Rafe!” she called. “Raphael!”

A grunt from near the front told her Rafe was down. She felt the energy building again, and suddenly she had an idea on how to defeat the ghost.

She ran back toward Anthony and Skye and hit the rock-solid demonologist head on. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

She ignored him and asked Skye, “Do you have your Taser with you?”

“Of course, but—“

“I need it.”

“Why?“

“Trust me.”

Skye handed it to her. “I took off the safety. Be careful.”

Careful. Like they weren’t in imminent danger of being crushed by flying furniture.

Movement near the front drew her eye. Nichols was faintly shimmering, barely visible, whether because he was weakening or had learned to control his physical presence better, she didn’t know. But he was moving away from them . . .

. . . and toward Rafe.

Moira maneuvered among the toppled furniture and shouted, “Hey, Ned!”

The ghost turned to face her.

She didn’t realize how fast ghosts could move. Suddenly it was right in front of her, touching her, its icy cold aura burning her flesh.

Her feet weren’t on the ground.

“Moira!”

It was Rafe’s voice, but she couldn’t let herself be distracted. She fought the levitation, but Nichols was strong. Her arms felt like lead weights and she had to use every ounce of strength to move her hand into firing position.

She couldn’t breathe, as if the ghost was sucking every ounce of air out of her.

In the back of her mind, she heard Anthony shouting a Latin exorcism. The ghost wavered, but didn’t let go.

She pressed the Taser’s trigger.

Two darts flew from the Taser and went right through the apparition.

Moira fell to the ground, the wind knocked out of her. She couldn’t move or feel anything and wondered if she broke all her bones. She hadn’t realized how high he’d held her.

But she wasn’t dead, and slowly the pain spread.

She felt her body gathered up. “Moira, Moira!”

It was Rafe. She tried to say his name, but nothing came out.

“It’s gone,” Anthony said.

“Let get out of here,” Skye said.

Moira tried to talk, but it came out a moan. Rafe was carrying her from the building. The damp fog revived her. She hurt everywhere, but nothing felt broken. “Rafe.”

“Shh.”

“Nichols?”

“Gone.”

“It worked.” She relaxed and leaned against Rafe’s chest, breathed the fresh outside air.

“How did you know the Taser would work?” Anthony demanded.

“Leave her alone,” Rafe said. “Can’t it wait?”

“It’s okay,” she said, feeling better. “Ghosts are made from electromagnetic energy—at least, that’s where they get their strength. I thought a jolt of electricity might disrupt him long enough for us to get out.” And since ghosts were either attached to a person, object or building, if she didn’t destroy it, most likely he’d be trapped in Rittenhouse until they could exorcise the building.

“Smart,” Skye said.

“You scared me,” Rafe whispered in Moira’s ear.

“You scared me. We’re even.” She sighed. “I think I can walk now.”

He set her on her feet. Skye was on her phone, and Anthony was holding her close to his side. Moira saw the love, and the fear, on Anthony’s face. Though she and Anthony had their differences— substantial differences—her feelings about him were changing because of how much he loved Skye. A man who could love so deeply couldn’t be a total asshole.

She looked at Rafe. “I’m okay.”

He was scrutinizing her. She didn’t want a lecture, so she hugged him, relaxing in his warmth.

She took a final look at Rittenhouse Furniture Warehouse.

Four ghostly images flickered in the windows, then disappeared.

Maybe it wasn’t completely over.

THE END

Allison Brennan permalink 31 Comments »
So, it’s time for a rant or two . . .
8
Apr
10
Allison Brennan Icon

I rarely comment about reviews I receive for my books because reviews are generally one person’s opinion. I can take the bad reviews with the good, and while I don’t like to get a bad review, I just suck it up and repeat what Stephanie Laurens said at the Orange County Romance Writers meeting a couple years ago: “They’re just having a bad reading day.”

There are a few things that irritate me about reviews, however–good and bad. The first and foremost is spoilers. I’ve had good reviews where the reader obviously loved the book and wants to talk about it with everyone (I love people like that!) Except they get a little carried away and share a bit too much in a public forum. Or the bad reviews where the readers wants to prove what an idiot the author is by telling the world who the bad guy is and why it was “so obvious” from the beginning and listing every major turning point in the book. The only review I asked Amazon to remove was where the reviewer did this and more–not only identifying the killer, but also revealing that one of the main characters died at the midpoint of the book.

I’ve had more than one bad review, but a recent comment on Amazon related to ORIGINAL SIN had me scratching my head.

“This book seems to have taken bits and pieces from the show Supernatural and was made into a book.”

I had to think about that for a long time, because I am a fan of SUPERNATURAL–a huge fan. I’ve seen nearly every episode twice. I’m also a fan of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and the old classics FRIDAY THE 13th THE SERIES and THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

I started OS in the summer of 2003, though I called it THE COVEN at the time. I knew the basic premise, the heroine (Moira), but had no idea who the hero would be, other than a tormented ex-seminarian. I didn’t know Rafe Cooper or his backstory or how my hero would come to the scene. I originally planned on having the hero be the brother of a missing girl (Lily) but it didn’t work out, and Lily didn’t stay missing for long in the final draft. I had over 100 pages drafted when I sold THE PREY and put this story idea on the back burner. SUPERNATURAL aired in September of 2005. I didn’t watch it until the DVD came out the following year, then I was addicted. My daughters originally discovered the series but I was on a tight deadline before the release of my first book.

I wrote the proposal for OS in early 2007 and gave it to my agent. She wanted to hold off a bit because we wanted to build me in romantic suspense first, and I agreed. The proposal outlined a seven book series (I use the term “outline” very loosely–the proposal was only three pages) and listed the main characters and the premise: the seven deadly sins released from Hell as incarnate demons. Believe me, when the Season Three opener of SUPERNATURAL aired in September of 2007 called “The Magnificent Seven” — yes, about the Seven Deadly Sins as demons — I nearly flipped. My daughters will tell you that I stomped around the room declaring that I had the idea first!

But as we all know, it’s not the idea but the execution that matters, and the episode was nothing like my idea.

Whenever we write, especially when we write stories that by necessity have a lot of research put into them, there are bound to be similarities between other works of creative art–unless it’s a completely made-up world not relying on human facts and theories.

I have dozens of books on criminal psychology, true crime, forensics, serial killers, weaponry, crime scene investigations, and the like. Dozens. I’ve read parts of all of them, and all of some of them. There are certain truths in criminal investigations that I use–and most other crime writers use as well to varying degrees. I like forensics and psychology, so I tend to write more detail about those subjects. Medical stuff? Not so much. In fact, most of my errors have been when I take my characters to the hospital, so I try to skip those parts now :) No one has accused me of copying from CSI or CRIMINAL MINDS. And did anyone else notice the similarities between the CM episode “Outfoxed” as a compilation of both THE RED DRAGON (where Harris’s killer targets families who he gets to know through home movies his company develops) and SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (where Harris uses a convicted killer to help the FBI find the active killer–and both incarcerated murderers want to see the photographs of the victims.) Still a good episode. They made it their own with their own twists and motive for the killer.

So I was thinking, why SUPERNATURAL? Is it because it’s fantasy/supernatural/horror? That by definition it’s not real and thus I must have copied?

Truth be told, I have more books on witchcraft, religion, black magic, spells, exorcisms, and mythology than I do on crime and forensics. I immersed myself in these books for the year before I really started writing OS. I wanted to get a feeling of all the possible directions, but ultimately I gravitated toward books and ideas that supported my vision and my characters. I read more about the dark arts and exorcisms and speaking in tongues and Jewish fairy tales.

Would it surprise you that virtually every single episode of SUPERNATURAL has some written lore about it? When Sam talks about, “Lore says A,B,C” he’s taking that pretty much directly from the show’s research books. Funny thing–I have many of those same books! In the SUPERNATURAL companion guides they dissect each episode and talk about the lore that went behind it–Eric Kripke, the show’s creator, was adamant that there needed to be a grounding in the mythology, so wanted “proof” of a lore — which means research.

None of us came up with the idea that Holy Water was like poison to demons, or that salt protects against evil spirits, or that a devil’s trap (or spirit trap) can protect both a magician or trap a demon. Those ideas have been around for hundreds of years. Salt, in fact, as a protection pre-dates Christ. Every major world religion has a devil-like figure and theories related to demons or evil spirits. None of this is new, not to SUPERNATURAL or to me. There’s one SUPERNATURAL episode (the scarecrow) that is so much like an episode in FRIDAY about a scarecrow that I nearly laughed. But they were still different enough because in television, characters are the voice. They make the show unique, just like a writer’s writing voice plus characters make a book unique.

So the bad review didn’t bother me specifically because I wonder how well-read the commenter is on matters of the supernatural. Because if you read just a little, you quickly learn that it’s all been discussed before.

There have been a few things that have popped up in the show that have me banging my head because those concepts are in my books, but honestly? They no more took the ideas from me than I took the ideas from them. We all took them from the lore out there–and created our own stories from it. There are some things that, if you’re trying to stick with ideas that have been written about historically or theoretically, have become “facts” and when you’re writing a real-world paranormal story, you need to stick to the basic common understanding. No suspending the laws of physics — unless you find a good spell for it.

Rant Number Two . . .

Since this post has gone on a bit longer than I planned, Rant Two will be posted at Murderati on Sunday. It relates to the so-called NYT ethicist who stated that if you buy a hardcover book, while it’s illegal to download a pirated copy of the book, it’s not unethical. My response? If that’s the case, they he should go tell people that if they buy a ticket to a movie, they have every right to illegally download a pirated copy of the movie.

So my question to you: what are some other movies or books that explore very similar ideas–and what do you think about it? If we’re all drawing from the same pool of facts and mythology, what makes the final creative product unique? The author’s voice or director’s vision on screen? The characters? The tone? The rhythm? The little plot twists and turns? When do you get frustrated by similarities and when do they not bug out–or maybe, make the book even more enjoyable?