On the news yesterday morning, police were looking for a white van whose driver is suspected in a double homicide. And just the other night I was watching a movie where the hero was joking about a white van and duct tape.
Why is it always a white van? And why haven’t bad guys realized that driving a white van is a dead giveaway?
I’ve heard that white is cheaper when buying a vehicle. I suppose that is why the bad guys are always driving white vans. But, come on, bad guys, spend the extra money money for a colored van.
Another cliche that really gets to me is that old classic: the heroine in the stripper-high high-heel shoes trying to run from the killer. The broken heel, the twisted ankle and ultimately here it comes…the fall. Kick off those high heels, chick, and RUN!!!
Okay, my worse pet peeve when it comes to suspense cliches: The heroine has put up a heroic fight against an insane horrible killer. He’s beaten her, choked her, wounded her, killed most everyone she knows and stolen the family Bible.
And what does she do after she bests him? Does she finish him off? Nope. She turns her back and starts to walk away — without taking the gun, the knife, the duct tape, the bag of rags soaked in chloroform or the lamp base she cold-cocked him with earlier. She just turns her back, doesn’t make sure he won’t come after her, and… and you know what happens. He comes after her! While I’m screaming: Pick up the gun! Shoot him!!! Because let’s face it. Even if she manages to get away again and the police catch him, he’ll escape from prison one day. Or get out under some technicality. We all know he will want to finish the job he started. But then again that’s what sequels are for huh.
Why, I’ve asked myself do movies and even some books do these things? I was watching a movie about Alfred Hitchcock and the making of The Birds. During the filming, apparently Tippi Hedren asked why, as a relatively intelligent character in the movie, would she go up the stairs to the attic alone.
Hitchcock’s answer: Because I want you to.
The worst thing about the suspense cliches? They work. We think the woman running in the heels is nuts but we are on the edge of our seats yelling for her to run. Same with not finishing the guy off. Remember the movie Wait Until Dark. I think it was the first time that device was used. Worked didn’t it. Same with the scene from The Birds. I wonder how many people were yelling: Don’t. Open. That. Door!
As for white vans though…come on bad guys, wise up. (My apologies if you drive a white van.)
So what are the suspense cliches that you hate. Or love.
(Also my winners from the last two weeks are: Judy Morgan and Sarah Johnson. Go to my website at www.bjdaniels.com and email me so I can send you a book.)
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All of your pet peeves annoy me too. BUT the biggest one for me is why do people ALWAYS run UPstairs when they’re being chased? What are they going to do? Hope to find the police up there? Or hope a helicopter will magically appear? And yes, I’m ALWAYS screaming, “Go out the front door, not up the stairs!”
Good one Alexa! I’m with you. Why head for the roof top? Seems a really bad idea. No doubt the director was saying: go to the roof for the next scene.
Thanks for stopping by.
Hi B.J.,
The shoes thing bugs me, too! Loved the scene in Romancing the Stone where Michael Douglas chops off Kathleen Turner’s heels so they can hike through the jungle.
My least favorite cliche is when the heroine leaves the safety of the cabin / house / hideaway WITHOUT calling the cops and goes to investigate the “strange noise” which is of course the serial killer waiting to ambush her.
Okay. White vans are annoying but there is actually a logical reason. Look around as you drive. How many ANONYMOUS white vans do you see? I’ll bet bunches because white vans are bought by the multitude for delivery and service companies. Strip off the detailing (sign, logos, etc.) and you have a white van that looks like every other white van. They eventually go up for auction. For cheap. It’s the same with “decommissioned” cop cars.
I’m with you on all the rest of the peeves. My addition would be when the H/H are on the run and they STOP TO MAKE OUT! Really? Seriously? You people can’t control the hormones to save your lives? It’s like a bad teen horror movie.
White vans are the smart choice, there are more of them on the road than any other color van. Same with cars. Easier to blend in.
Too funny about the white vans. My daugter’s call them “kidnapper vans”.