I did this questionnaire last year at one of my RWA meetings.  It was a lot of fun. It also caused some head shaking, but mostly it forced a bunch of writers take a hard look at themselves and come to terms with what exactly their commitment to writing was.

My opening question to the group was: should you write on or not?   

Before you answer the question, understand the answer is neither right nor wrong.  Each answer is individually personal, and yours.  The answer should not be what you think you should say or what you think we want to hear.  At the end of the day, it’s you and your keyboard.  No one else is going to be as vested as you are or aren’t in your goals and actions.

So, be 100% honest with yourself when you answer the questions. (Grab a piece of paper and a pen.  The answers are quick jots.)

1. Why have you read this far into this blog topic?  

2. How many new words have you written in the last week?  If you can’t say exactly how many words, then how many pages of new words?  Zero is an answer.

3. How many new words or pages have you written in the last month?

4. Year?

5. Are you a hobbyist?  And before you answer this question, let’s define hobbyist. Merriam-Webster’s definition: a noun: a pursuit outside one’s regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation.

6. Are you a writer whose goal it is to be published?

7. Are you a writer whose goal it is to be published and to generate a respectable income?

8. Are you a career writer, as in, is writing your full time paying job?

9. Or are you working to become a career writer?  Be honest with yourself.  And as an aside, since making a living at writing is all relative, put the income level you are striving for as opposed to what Nora makes.

10. What is your next goal in your writing pursuits?

11. What are you doing to achieve it?

Now, go back and look at questions 1 through 4 and tell me again what you are really doing and have done in the last 6 months to achieve your goals.

Ok, now set your answers aside.

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I’m going to guess, some of you, regardless of where you are with your writing, have set some lofty writing goals but for some reason you’ve gotten stuck.  As in, no results or slim results.

So, let’s get to the heart of the matter.  I’m going to borrow a few words from writer John Scalzi on this topic of writing on or not.  Mostly I’m borrowing them because they are my exact thoughts, he just said it better!

As John, I get asked a couple of the same questions all of the time. The first being: how do I stay focused and inspired to write. Which is usually followed up with, how do you find the time to write? 

My answer to the first question is the same as John’s. I’m a working writer.  As a working writer, I have been given money to produce words.  Legible, entertaining words.  With that exchange of money for words comes deadlines. Not to be confused with inspiration for a certain story, I am inspired and focused to write by money.  Not very glamorous, but the fact is, I will write for food, clothing, shelter and the occasional bling.  That I happen to enjoy the hell out of it is a good thing.

Second question: How do I find the time?  This is my job, I get up and go to work like most of America.  If I don’t, I get behind and don’t get paid.  I can’t file for unemployment. Before I was able to focus my working hours 100% on my writing, I owned my own company and ran two offices.  I had three kids still in school.  I made the time during the day to write.  I wrote at night. I wrote at the boys’ football practices. I made the time to write because I wanted to, and no one else was going to do it for me. Let me interject here and say, there was many a day when I had to fight for my writing time. If I didn’t, no one else was. 

Fight for it, if you want it bad enough.

So boiled down you have to make a decision:  You either want to write, or you don’t.  It’s really that simple:  If the answer is, yes, then do it. If your answer is, yes but, then as John said, “What you’re doing is using six letters and two words to say, no.  And that’s fine.  Just don’t kid yourself as to what, yes really means.”

Now, go back and look at your answers 2-4.  Are you really saying, no with six letters and two words?  It’s ok, just realize it for what it is.

Now, if your answer really is, yes, as in one word and three letters, then make the time.  You know your schedule better than I do.  Work it in.  Get an alpha smart, that’s what I did and wrote like a fiend on the sideline of football practices.  If you can’t squeeze in time during the work week, eek  out some weekend time.  Bottom line, if you’re answer really is, yes, make it happen.  If you won’t (not can’t, can’t means, cannot as in you aren’t capable, won’t means you will not, as in yes, but) do that?  As John says, “Then you are lying to yourself when you said your answer was yes.”  And to paraphrase him this way: If you wrote 250 words a day, that’s one measly double spaced page, you could write an entire 90,000 novel in a year!  Trust me, you can write one page brushing your teeth!

So, if I ask you what you’re working on and you give me excuses about why you haven’t written anything, you’re telling me, you really don’t want to write.  And that’s ok, just don’t fool yourself or try to fool me.

Because here’s something I see every day: some folks like the idea of being a writer without doing the work.  The work being the writing.  I mean it’s cool when someone asks what do you do, and you answer, “I’m a writer.”

Again, it’s ok if you really don’t want to do it, just be honest about it.  If you aren’t sure, try it.  You may like it or you may realize it isn’t for you.  And we’ll still be your friends.

But, if you want to be a writer, BE a writer.  Writers write. It’s not that difficult.  Type a word.  Then another and another.  Create people in your head and talk about them to yourself by way of your keyboard. 

Remember, every single writer began in the same exact place:  with one word.  And not one of them was published either!  They had to write a few words to get there.

And also remember, your goal may not be the same goal as the next person, but that doesn’t make it wrong. 

The end game, so long as it’s what we have worked toward is neither right nor wrong, it’s just our choice.

Now, if your answer really is, yes, what’s stopping you?  Or if you’re burning up the keyboard, what has you so hot to trot?

On Saturday I posted my involvement in the Banned Books Week Hop. You can read it here, and check out the prizes I’m offering! Remember, one entry a day!

Today, I wanted to talk about some of the most challenged books.

It’s important to understand that when we talk about “banned books” these aren’t books banned across the country by the government. Banned books are often challenged books that are banned in limited schools and public libraries because a vocal minority spoke up.

I believe in freedom of speech and these citizens deserve every right to stand up and denounce a book they don’t like and articulate why.

I believe in the rights of parents to approve what their child reads. No child should be reading material for school that their parents find offensive or antithetical to their religion or personal beliefs. In these rare instances, I believe the teacher should strive to offer an alternative, or dialogue with the parents to find out what the specific issue is. Parents have the right to ban certain books from the house, just like they can ban certain movies or video games.

However, no one person should have the right to deny everyone else the right to read a book. Not in a free society.

Banning books is not a liberal or conservative issue. It’s not a religious issue. People of all political and religious stripes seek to ban certain books. And I strongly believe that no one should be forced to read a book, as much as I believe they have the right to read any book.

This is not to say that age-inappropriate books should be placed in libraries, but I think our librarians are smarter than that. No one is seeking to put the Joy of Sex in elementary schools. The books that get challenged the most are classics, or books written for the children’s market. (This includes YA books.)

Other than the obvious, perennial “banned” books like To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, and Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, here are some of the most challenged books of the last decade:

•  The Harry Potter series by JK Rowling
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
• Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey
• Killing Mr. Griffen by Lois Duncan
• Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
• Draw Me a Star by Eric Carle
• Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park
• Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle

And here’s a neat little list from the ALA of the ten most challenged books in 2010:

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Crank by Ellen Hopkins

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

Lush by Natasha Friend

What My Mother Doesn’t Know by Sonya Sones

Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich

Revolutionary Voices by Amy Sonnie

Twilight (series) by Stephenie Meyer

Now, I’m preaching to the choir. So what I want from you is to talk about ANY book you’ve read that has impacted you in any way. It can be a book with a moral lesson that has stuck with you, or a laugh-out-loud feel good book, or a classic that you have never forgotten, or a non-fiction book that taught you something valuable. Share, because remember, everyone who posts this week is in a drawing for one of five great prizes, including an advance copy of my upcoming IF I SHOULD DIE.

And one more thing … the amazing and talented Mariah Stewart has a new book out this week in her Chesapeake Bay series. HOMETOWN GIRL is a must read. I pre-ordered my copy and it’s sitting on my desk waiting for me to finish writing my next book.

Check out this wonderful trailer for Mariah’s book.

I can not wait! And you don’t have to—you can go buy it now and read it before the end of the weekend! Here at Amazon or BN.com BN.com or wherever you like to buy your books.

And, I’m teaching a rare on-line class. I usually teach only one a year. This one is on romantic suspense for the Kiss of Death chapter. I don’t take remuneration for these type of classes, so all the money goes back to the chapter for their scholarship fund. The more people who take the class the greater chance more scholarships KOD can offer so members can go to the RWA conference! More information here, but if you’re interested don’t wait because it starts on Saturday!

P.S. — A special thanks to Rocki for posting my blog this morning! Some of you may have noticed we’ve had some technical issues. You’ll be happy to know we’re moving providers and getting all this fixed–hopefully it’ll be all done by the end of the weekend! Thanks so much for your patience

Warning: This post is a serious mish-mash of stuff going on in my writing life, and it’s a bit random, but hey, it’s me, so you shouldn’t really be surprised

First off, I gotta say, I was STUNNED to win the 2011 Shamus Award for Best Hardcover Fiction for NO MERCY. All the people at the award ceremony said — you should’ve seen your face when they announced your book won — I was very humbled to accept the award which means more to me than I can possibly express, given the great slate of nominees, plus two of my writing idols, Sara Paretsky and Robert Crais were in attendance at the ceremony. Really, a night to remember, right up until I started knocking back all those free drinks in the hotel bar from well-meaning friends I did manage to make it back to my hotel room with my beautiful award.

I’ve got a busy couple of weeks, plus I’m trying to write 200 books — kidding, it just seems like it, stuck in my writing cave until after the new year — so this post is an update on where I’ll be and to give you all a chance to win an ARC of WRANGLED AND TANGLED, book 3 in Lorelei James Blacktop Cowboys series, which releases Nov. 1st. (the contest is at the bottom of this post)

Next week I’ll be involved in a couple of cool events. First, Thursday night:

Women Behaving Badly

Thurs., October 6, 2011 6:30pm
Where: Dahl Arts Center
713 7th Street
Cost: $10 advance $12 at door

Award winning author Lori Armstrong is best known for her hard hitting mystery novels. However, this very talented and successful author also writes erotic fiction set in the modern West under the name Lorelei James. Both formats have won her legions of fans. Her latest Lorelei James novel “Chasin’ Eight” is a New York Times Bestseller. Lori will discuss her process, read from her latest book and do a book selling and signing after the WBB event.

Some of the West’s wildest women, The Rushmore Rollerz will be at the WBB with some video clips from their exploits as Rapid City’s own roller derby queens. They will also share some of their favorite stories of tearin’ it up on the road. Join Pinkee B. Witch, Violet Felon, the Physical Terrorist and the rest of the team for some good old fashioned girl fun.

Kisa, the woman who brought belly dance to Western South Dakota will be on hand with some of her middle-eastern dance troupe to teach us some sexy moves. This will be an easy to learn and fun to use routine. Your dance experience is guaranteed to be enhanced after a glass of wine and some chocolate!

Don’t miss this FUN- raiser for the Readiatrics Book Drive and the Dakota Instrument Drive. Women Behaving Badly is sponsored by Backroom Productions, with support from the Rapid City Arts Council, and SHE106.3.

For more information call Darla Drew Lerdal at 341-5940.

Tickets $10 advance, available at the Dahl Arts Center. Tickets will be $12 Day of Show. You may want to bring some extra cash or your plastic to purchase a WBB t-shirt or a book from Lori.

*Note:  men will be allowed to the attend if accompanied by a woman who will behave badly!

Then this year I’m a featured presenter at South Dakota Festival of Books – which starts on Friday, Oct. 7th and ends Sunday Oct. 9th. The festival is in Deadwood, SD, and I’m thrilled to get to take the stage with some of my very favorite mystery authors, and talk about my beloved state and why I write mysteries set here.

Recently, I became reacquainted with an old friend from my California days.  I was thrilled to learn Julie Orlov has devoted 24 years to helping people transform their lives through her work as a psychotherapist, executive coach, trainer, speaker, and consultant.

Julie is the author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery, a fabulous self-help book that, among other things, promises to assist readers “distinguish real love from fantasy.”

As you can imagine, that topic struck a chord with me.  Romance novelists walk a fine line every day:  it is our job to create the ultimate romantic fantasy, but we work tirelessly to make that relationship feel relatable and real.  So if we achieve that goal, we not only carry a woman off to a literary Calgon bath, we give her the hope that empowering, honest love is possible for everyone.  Wonderful news…except, are we setting a romantic standard so high it does more harm than good? Recently, some articles were flying around the internet making the claim that romance novels were bad for women because they set up unreal expectations about love.  And abs.

When I read Julie’s book, I asked her to tackle the subject here.  I believe — as Julie does — that there is a place in the world for idealized romantic fantasy, but finding an “ideal” life mate is a little different in the real world than in the pages of our books.  Every woman needs to find her own path, and Julie has written a phenomonal guidebook.  She’d taking time out of her busy promotion and travel schedule to chat with us today, share her thoughts on fantasy vs. real love…and give away a copy of The Pathway to Love to one lucky commenter.

To be eligible to win, just let us know your thoughts on that highly debatable and incendiary question: Do romance novels set up an unrealistic expectation of what “real love” should be?  Wait!  Before you read or answer…watch this!  It pretty much captures the issue in one minute of fabulosity.  Go, we’ll wait…

Back now?  Yeah.  I know, right?  That’s what I call finding your HEA(ven)…but here’s what Julie Orlov says about fantasy vs. real love:

IS IT FANTASY OR REAL?

Crossing the bridge from fantasy to real love

Nothing is better than the feeling of being in love! Falling in love puts us in that wonderful dreamy state where anything and everything is possible. Our hormones are pumping and our fantasies reflect images of a future filled with romance and love. We are sure we’ve found “the one” and dismiss anything anyone says or does that might indicate otherwise. This first phase of a developing relationship is both wonderful and dangerous. It’s wonderful because of all the great feelings it provokes; it’s dangerous because it impairs our ability to distinguish reality from fantasy.

I understand this all too well from personal experience. Here’s my own story from years gone by…

I woke up one day thinking of Paul.  I hadn’t seen Paul in months.  My relationship with Paul was filled with all the passion and drama that great romance novels and Hollywood movies are made of.  I had never felt so wanted by a man.  Paul had the ability to make me feel oh so good.  He also had the ability to make me feel oh so bad.  It was one of those on again off again romances that resulting in a bad habit that was hard to break.  Paul was my real life romance novel—only this time, it didn’t end well.

What worried me on this particular occasion was that not only did I wake up thinking of Paul, I actually missed him.  What made matters worse was that I was in a relationship with a great man who was attentive, emotionally available, and supportive.  And while he had all the qualities that made for a great long-term committed relationship, he was not quite as enticing as Paul.  Yes, I know.  It’s Textbook Romance 101—the allure of fantasy love versus the substance of real love.

Don’t worry.  I wasn’t foolish enough to call Paul.  I knew what was happening.  I understood that as I was making a commitment to this new relationship and creating REAL love, I needed to let go and grieve the idea of my fantasy love—the happily ever after, always passionate, all fulfilling, love.  The kind of love that makes up for the ways you weren’t loved and longed to be loved as a child.  In other words, I needed to step out of the object-fantasy phase of a developing relationship and embrace the wonderful world of real love.   And while we all know in our heads that real love is what we’re after, each of us needs to let go of our own version of Paul.  In reality, it was not Paul that I missed at all.  He wasn’t really all that great; in fact, he lacked all the basic qualities necessary for a healthy relationship.  What I was really missing was all the feelings and hype that went along with my own internal romance novel.  I knew it was time to let go of my story.  It was time to move on to a better, richer, real love.

I share this story with you because it is a perfect illustration of how people can resist moving from fantasy love to real love. I knew that what I had with Paul was fantasy.  I knew that what I was creating with my new man was real. I simply needed to make the choice to cross the bridge.

So while all relationships travel through this first fantasy phase (one of four phases of a developing relationship I explore in my book), one must be careful when navigating its waters. Hormones and the feelings they produce are powerful. It’s easy to believe that the fantasy is real; it’s easy to get lost. The goal is to move through this phase with as much ease as possible without getting trapped. You want to enjoy falling and being in love but also need to be mindful of the traps and move through the currents into the next phase of your developing relationship—where real love begins.

So how do you know if you you’re still under the spell of fantasy love?  What does real love look like?

In fantasy love, you

•  Believe you know who he is when in reality you don’t
• Want him to always make you feel this good; worry that he will make you feel that bad
• Want him to be there when you need him and to go away when you don’t
• Want him to keep his neurotic tendencies to himself or pretend that they don’t exist
• Project your neurotic tendencies onto him and make them his problem
• Want to control what will happen next, hold on to the fantasy and avoid any loss
• Want him to look good, work out, and be desirable; at the same time you want him to desire you whether or not you look good, work out, or feel desirable
• want great, passionate sex; want to feel the effects of dopamine and oxytocin forever

In real love, you

• Understand that it takes time and shared experiences to truly know someone
• Take full responsibility for how you feel and what behaviors you will tolerate and accept from others
• Understand that relationships require give and take; sometimes you give when you don’t feel like it and sometimes he will simply disappoint you
• No longer try to fix him; you  accept his neurotic tendencies—they either work for you or they don’t
• Learn to identify your own neurotic tendencies; you recognize when you are projecting and take full responsibility for yourself
• Release your attachment to any one outcome.  You are fully expressed and authentic.
• Understand that desire comes and goes over time; life happens—we age, get sick, have kids, etc.
• Experience passion and love in different and more intimate ways as you move through phases two, three, and four

While fantasy love has an intoxicating effect, real love provides the nourishment that we and our relationships need in order to thrive and flourish over time.  In other words, there’s nothing like a great piece of double chocolate layer cake, but at the end of the day, it’s a nutritious balanced diet that gives us health and vitality.  So enjoy your cake but remember to move on to the main course!

Thanks, Julie!  Okay, gang, chime in…did that romance novel you just finished make you look at your man with disappointment in your heart…or make you love him a little more?  Do you think romance novels contribute to women suffering from “fantasy love” by creating an ideal no one can actually achieve?  Too much cake and not enough veggies?

Okay, I’ll make it simple.  What do you think of that George Clooney commercial???

One commenter wins The Pathway to Love – a powerful and beautifully written book that will definitely help you find and keep that HEA!

Bad guys. They get a bad rap. Usually they deserve it. They do naughty things: kill people, blow things up, perpetrate other heinous crimes, etc. But bad guys also perform a very necessary service–they make the good guys look good. They give the good guys something to fight, which showcases their strengths and weaknesses, makes us sympathetic, and gives us a goal to root for.

If you can’t tell, I have a soft spot for villains and antagonists.

My favorite bad guys are the ones who are so faceted I find myself sympathetic with them in some way as well. Oh, I usually still want them to get their comeuppance, but part of me understands why they did what they did. And I love to see some of them reformed. The hero of Passion for the Game was the antagonist in Ask For It. Also, the heroine of Passion for the Game, who was a criminal and “black widow,” was named Lady Winter as an homage to another antagonist, Milady de Winter in The Three Musketeers. You can’t always make a bad guy good, but that’s not a bad thing.

(Did I mention how excited I am that I have less than a week to wait until Dexter comes back on?)

One of the biggest issues I faced when planning the Renegade Angels series was that all three of the heroes are also the three main antagonists. They had to be bad, yet still heroic. Antiheroes all the way. I really struggled with that the first book. It’s part of the reason I revised the first hundred pages three times before I wrote beyond that point. Adrian makes some tough decisions over the course of the story, not all of those decisions are ones readers may be able to agree with. This applies to all three heroes, as well as some of the heroines.

So how does an author deal with a character whose actions may be hard to support? It all comes down to the motivation. It’s important that the reader understand what the character is thinking, even if they may not agree with it. Or that the character has some sympathetic quality to them–a love and loyalty to family, rules that they never break, a need for vengeance that is justified and not directed at the wrong person(s). It’s not easy to make a bad guy a fully-rounded character and when it’s done well… well, I think that makes a good book/story really great.

I personally have a fondness for Heath Ledger’s Joker. And Arnold Vosloo’s Mummy got to me; he’d do anything for love. In J.D. Robb’s Judgment in Death, the cop killer was hard to hate. I think the assassin in Linda Howard’s Death Angel is sexy as hell, although he’s definitely more antihero than true villain.

I have a copy of Men Out of Uniform to give away today! Just let me know: Who are some of your favorite villains?

(Also, you can see antihero Adrian–and vote for him, if you’re so inclined–in today’s Supernatural Smackdown match: http://t.co/uMXNWWwm There are copies of both A Touch of Crimson and Men Out of Uniform up for grabs there, too. Both books release next Tuesday!)