 | 21 Jun 11 |
Remember the fashion “Do’s and Don’t's” page in Glamour magazine? I loved that feature! When I was a teenager reading that magazine, I used to fantasize that writing the Do’s and Don’ts column would be my job some day. I still practice in my head when I observe a do or don’t…
DON’T go for an exact color match when picking an accessory for a loud and busy pattern…it’s just too easy to miss the mark! No one will be green with envy when you show up with this ghastly combination!
DO pair the perfect purse that complements your outfit with a casual je ne sais quoi that says you’re just too fabulous to even realize you match! (Of course it helps to have the cash to buy a Hermes Birkin, which will only set you back about as much as a brand new Lexus!)
Since I obviously missed my Do’s & Don’ts calling in life, I’ve decided to run my own D&D column today. Because so many of us in the MSW community are in the process of planning and preparing for the mother of all romance writer gatherings, RWA in New York City, I thought it might be fun to run a special “Conference Do’s and Don’t's” blog so we can all be ready for anything at Nationals. No fashion advice (well, this is me, so maybe a little!) but a primer on protocol and suggestions for getting noticed — in a good way — among the two thousand ladies (and three men) who will invade the Marriott Marquis next week with the goal to further our careers, deepen our friendships, and laugh until we need panty liners drink ourselves numb sell the damn book improve our writing.
Rocki’s RWA Conference Do’s and Don’t's
Do head off for conference with a pre-planned workshop schedule. The week goes by in a blur, the schedule is packed, and it’s very easy to spend the day bouncing from workshop to workshop and not end the day anything but exhausted. Head on over to the RWA Site to carefully review the workshop schedule and make a list of those you don’t want to miss. (Ahem, Friday morning at 8:30 — How Do You Mend A Broken Scene — it’s not taped, guys!) I recommend a mix of editorial spotlights, craft and business workshops, and chats with your favorite authors.
Don’t even think about attending a workshop every minute of the day — you’ll need down time. Plus, mingling in the lobby can be as enlightening as popping in and out of workshops, and remember that almost all of the workshops are taped, so if you miss one, you can make it up later. You may never make up that surprise encounter with an agent, editor, or new critique partner!
Do be friendly, outgoing, and fearless about meeting other attendees. That’s what you’re there for! No doubt about it, lots of writers are introverts and walking up to a complete stranger can be as daunting as taking the podium for the keynote speech. The easiest question to ask is “What do you write?” This will open a floodgate of communication, I promise. If your lunch table neighbor isn’t a writer (or, if you’re lucky, is an editor or agent) a genuine compliment is another great way to start a conversation. ”Oh, is that a Hermes Birkin bag? Really works with that outfit!”
Don’t be a time hog! Maybe you have started that conversation and exchanged writing stories, RWA chapters, and some favorite titles. Watch for social cues that say it’s time to end the chat. No one wants to get cornered at a cocktail party or in the lobby by someone who just wants to talk and talk and talk and talk and….talk. Be sensitive and gracious and move on! (And another conversation “don’t” — don’t forget to listen to what the other person as to say. As my mother always told me, you never learn anything from talking!)
Do ask questions! In a workshop, if the presenter opens up the floor for questions, go ahead and ask. There really is no such thing as a stupid question — everyone is there to learn — and I bet there are twenty other people in the room with the same question who are grateful you asked. If you don’t have the nerve or can’t bring yourself to ask the question publicly, try to talk to the presenter at the end of the workshop.
But, by all means, don’t ask personal questions. On that list: How much money did you get for your last contract? What is your print run? Why did you fire your agent? Exactly how much did that Hermes Birkin bag cost??? There are certain things we generally don’t broadcast in this business, so don’t put anyone on the spot by asking them unless they seem extremely willing to share. If you have to preface a question with “Can I ask you a personal question?” then you probably shouldn’t ask at all.
Do set off for conference with professional goals! If you merely “arrive and hope for the best,” I guarantee you’ll be on the plane heading home and wondering what you accomplished all week. Your goals can be specific:
1) meet three editors
2) make five new friends
3) attend four editorial spotlights
4) meet Rocki St. Claire
Or they can be vague:
1) have substantive conversations with people I don’t know
2) immerse myself in the business of the business
3) learn more about self-publishing
4) attend great craft workshops (Friday morning at 8:30!!)
Whatever your goals, write them down and review them daily. If you know what you want to accomplish at the conference, chances are you will.
But don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t meet those goals, or if the week feels like a rollercoaster and you are in the first seat with no safety bar. Honestly, one minute you can be sitting in a workshop feeling like the biggest loser in the industry because you can’t finish a manuscript, and the next hour you’ll hear an agent announce she’s looking for exactly what you write. Have goals, but be open to anything because anything can and will happen.
Do get out and socialize at night! As tempting as it will be to fall on your bed and weep with exhaustion at the end of the day, you really should force yourself to attend a function or two, even if it’s the simple act of going into the bar for a drink or a soda. I guarantee your best connections will happen then and there. Almost organically, groups grow from two or four people to fourteen, chairs are snagged, secrets are shared, friendships are formed. Get down there and say hello!
Don’t go into the bar, get rip roaring drunk, make derogatory comments about bestselling authors, corner an agent and pitch your book, or jump into the fountain with your brand new Rita. 
(Okay, Kristan Higgins, you can do that – who, by the way, was stone cold sober and one very happy Rita winner!)
Seriously, if you find yourself at a publisher’s party, any meet ‘n’ greet, or even in the lobby bar, you want to remember that this is a professional gathering. Wanna get annihilated? Do it in your room. Save the gossip, mean comments, and personal questions for the room, too…but remember, karma is a bitch, and she’s lurking everywhere at Nationals.
But what’s a Do’s and Don’ts list without a little fashion? Not style, because everyone has their own, but smart dressing. Do wear reasonably comfortable shoes because you will walk your a$$ off, and do bring a light sweater because the AC is set so you freeze your a$$ off, too. And if you don’t take my advice about shoes and you simply must wear these… 
Then be very smart and do pack some of these. 
I’m sure there are many Do’s and Don’ts I’m forgetting, so come on, friends! Share! Leave a comment, a suggestion, a do, a don’t, a personal experience, or just say hello because I’m giving away a $25 Amazon gift card so you can buy yourself a little something that always complements your outfit…a fabulous book or three!!
© 2011 – 2012, Roxanne St. Claire. All rights reserved.
Roxanne St. Claire is a New York Times bestselling, RITA-Award winning author of nearly thirty novels of romance and suspense. The author of two popular romantic suspense series, The Bullet Catchers and The Guardian Angelinos, Roxanne is hard at work on new books for 2012, which will include the launch of a contemporary series, Barefoot Bay, and her first young adult novel, Don't You Wish, and a brand new stand-alone romantic suspense, Space in His Heart. A five-time RITA nominee, Roxanne's books have won the National Readers Choice Award, the Daphne Du Maurier Award, the Maggie Award, the Booksellers Best, the Book Buyers Best, The HOLT Medallion, multiple Awards of Excellence, and Borders "Top Pick"" for Romance in 2007. She lives in Florida with her husband, two teenagers, and one impossibly cute Australian Terrier named Pepper.
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I’m not going, but definitely looking forward to the stories you’ll all have.
by Catherine June 21st, 2011 at 7:32 amMy additions–Advil Liqui-gels-not the knock off brand, get the real ones. For any early morning headaches–Excedrin Migraine. Has caffeine so might not be the best to take in late afternoon, but I’ve found it works in about 20 mins.
Hope you have an awesome time!!!
Pack Advil!!! FANTASTIC ADVICE. I just added it to my “do not forget” list, Catherine. Thank you! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:26 am
by Amy June 21st, 2011 at 9:28 amI love the advice about the bar..not getting rip-roared drunk! Ladies lettin’ loose..and then a handful! All was great advice. Can’t make it but want to sooo badly!
Lotsa ladies lettin’ loose! Will miss you, Amy! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:30 pmThese are great tips, Rocki. I especially like the one about making the effort to socialize. The best connections really do happen during those informal moments.
See you in NYC!
by Laura Griffin June 21st, 2011 at 7:33 amCan’t wait to see you, Laura! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:27 amI’ve never been to a writing conference, but I used to have to do trade shows for work.
Don’t assume everything you packed will be 100% perfect. Do pack at least one backup outfit to anticipate a mistake. I mis-packed an outfit once and ended up wearing a cocktail dress to the trade show floor because I had no backup.
by B.E Sanderson June 21st, 2011 at 7:41 amThe Back Up Outfit is a brilliant suggestion! For me, that last thing I throw in the suitcase “just in case” is invariably the outfit that saves me. Thanks! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:27 amRWA sounds like much more fun than the conferences I have the privilege [please note the sarcasm there] of attending… five days of nothing but science talks all bloody day makes me want to cry. Then you sit down to supper or are at the bar and the bloke next to you is going on and on about some experiment he’s doing… seriously, after ~10 hours of science, I really don’t want to hear about your RNAseq results over my salad. Scientists make the worst conversationalists, haha– and I must be the world’s worst scientist-in-training
Good thing I had legitimate excuses to skip out on these year’s conferences; if I don’t have to attend another one in what’s left of my doctorate, I will be thrilled. Unless they’re somewhere exotic; I will endure science conference torture for the chance to travel. Yes, I’m a travel-whore 
Excellent list of do’s & don’ts– change a couple of words, and they’re applicable for any type of conference! Have fun @ RWA!
by Cris June 21st, 2011 at 7:46 amUh, yeah, Cris, RWA is nothing if not FUN. But it is exhausting and hard work. It’s also a hotel jam packed with estrogen, creativity, and an undercurrent of competition, so the whole week is stressful. Thanks for stopping by! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:29 amHmm, the oestrogen overdose would likely be too much for me. But, hey, it’s in NYC, so there’s always somewhere to escape to
by Cris June 21st, 2011 at 11:06 amexcellent tips all, BUT….I love the pic of the shoes!!!
by kris June 21st, 2011 at 7:57 amYeah, I’m kind of a pink shoe junkie. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:29 amI’m not going to the conference, but those are all great bits of advice.
And yes, I want to know if you’re wearing those shoes, Rocki
by Lori Armstrong June 21st, 2011 at 8:11 amWe’ll miss you, Lori! Not *those* shoes…but I like to have something to aspire to… xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:30 amThese are all great tips. I’d also like to add that if you’re a conference veteran, adopt a couple of newbies! They will be wearing First-Timer ribbons on their badge and many will be terrfied. Think of it as adding to your karma bank. My first conference was two years ago, and i ended up at a table with Rocki (which feels weird even to type, like I should say Ms. St. Claire or something). She had three first-timers in tow. I was hanging on the coattails of my friend, JoMarie, a conference vet and I was so impressed with both ladies for their graciousness. Remember all these people love romance. They might even buy your book someday…
by Jennifer Spiller June 21st, 2011 at 8:13 amI have been known to attack (in a really good way) those wearing the First Timers badge. I just remember it so well, the sense of being both overwhelmed and “at home with my people, finally!” And you must always call me Rocki, Jennifer!!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:31 amI wholeheartedly second the socializing advice. This is one of those times in your life when you should go against your parents advice and talk to strangers. Besides asking them what they write, you can ask them what chapter they’re from, if they’ve pitched or plan to, if it’s their first time at conference…so many ways to start a convo!
Also, if you see someone with a Golden Heart or RITA finalist ribbon on their badge, congratulate them! It’s an awesome achievement – be part of their celebration!
Lastly, if you’re going to wear heels, be comfortable in them. Own them. If you can’t walk in them, leave them home. No one’s ultimately going to care what kind of shoes you had on, just that you were there and present in the moment.
by Kristen Painter June 21st, 2011 at 8:16 amReally? Oh, I think you care what kind of shoes I have on. You certainly OPINE about them.
Really good advice to congratulate the GH and Rita nominees. Gushing about an author’s books is always appropriate and welcome, too. Can lead to great things, like a cover quote for YOUR next book!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:32 amTotally agree about the shoes – at Nationals last year there were lots of ladies walking around like bow-legged birds because they usually don’t wear heels but somehow felt the need to wear them at conference.
They ended up getting attention for the wrong reasons and I wish that they’d just went with shoes that made them feel confident.
by Sabrina June 21st, 2011 at 8:36 amGreat advice, Rocki! Have an amazing time!
by Debra webb June 21st, 2011 at 8:24 amDeb *sniff* I can’t stand that *sniff, sniff* you won’t be there. You will be missed!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:33 amI heard there is no breakfast provided this year. I haven’t looked into it, but I’m bringing a few granola bars. Its hard to focus when you’re woozy from hangover, lack of sleep and no food.
by December June 21st, 2011 at 8:34 amBreakfast bars in the room are a must, December! Good call! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:32 amGreat post! As a RWA first-timer last year, I was so grateful to my veteran friends who took me under their wings. My two suggestions: don’t forget the Tide pen (helps with all those food “oops”) and pick up some Dr. Scholls Moleskin (it’s fab for preventing shoe sores).
Finally, for those of you a little hesitant about public speaking, I’m doing an interactive workshop at RWA on Wednesday from 3:15 to 4:15 (At Ease, Speaker: Terror to Terrific). I’d love to see you there.
Safe travels, all!
by Kristina Watson June 21st, 2011 at 8:37 amTide Pen! Just added it to my list! That workshop sounds awesome!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:33 amMy “Do” would be if you are an aspiring author to also include your twitter name on your badge and on your business cards. Probably too late for that advice, but I found last year so many of us knew each other on twitter – we’d been introduced by name and only found out hours later when twitter came up.
by Sabrina June 21st, 2011 at 8:37 amSo true – I can’t wait to meet all the twitter people who better look EXACTLY like their avatar! LOL! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:33 amI am a romance fan and would love to one day get to go to a conference and meet my favorite authors. I am not a good person to ask conference advise from. For one thing I am a VERY shy person. I freeze when I meet new people. Also, I never have everything I need to go to the store much less a trip…lol. I look forward to hearing all about your fun time at RWA Roxanne. Have so extra fun for me…
by Michelle Penton Bledsoe June 21st, 2011 at 8:42 amYou wouldn’t be shy around me! I won’t allow it! Maybe someday….xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:34 amLoved those tips, photos and ideas. Very important and vital items.
by pearl June 21st, 2011 at 8:56 amThanks, Pearl! I’m lusting after the pink shoes! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:34 amAlas, I’m missing my first conference since I joined RWA in 2004 (and my annual hound Rocki til we figure out when to meet for drinks/coffee/a meal). Go to her workshop, folks! She does great ones.
Band-Aids are okay but Dr. Scholl’s Blister Defense Anti-Friction Stick is even better. It’s made like a teeny-tiny deodorant and you just rub it on your skin and voila! Keeps your shoe from rubbing.
I second the OTC pain reliever. And I always carry mine with me 24/7 at conference. You can make a friend for life by offering them something for their headache.
Also, drink lots of water. Hotel A/C will dehydrate you, which leads to headaches and also makes you more susceptible to germs.
Enjoy, enjoy! And on Friday night I’ll have my fingers crossed for a certain writer to win the Rita for romantic suspense.
by Marilyn June 21st, 2011 at 8:57 amGreat tips, Marilyn! I still can’t get my arms around the fact that you won’t be there. It’s JUST NOT RIGHT. xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:35 amBLISTER STICKS? OmG….I need to go find one now. That is genius. Thank you. Even my flats give me blisters after being on my feet all day.
by gwen hayes June 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 amA couple tips that have saved me:
Pack:
- Tide Pen or Shout wipes (I’m clumsy)
- Small bottle of Febreze (keeps your clothes fresh regardless of where you’re hanging out without perfume, which can overwhelm with that many women
- Small bottle of Downy Wrinkle Release (I hate to iron and for a lot of things, lay it out, give it a spray, smooth it, then hang it up and you’re good to go)
- First Aid Kit with plenty of bandaids (you never know, but you’ll at least have some blisters from heels)
- Friction Block, as Marilyn said
- Dr. Scholls slippers in a little pouch that slip into your purse. (Perfect to save your feet after dancing or walking in fabulous, but painful heels. I have walked the streets of SFO barefoot because I couldn’t bear to wear my shoes any longer.)
Take naps.
Slip business cards into your conference lanyard for easy access.
Don’t talk ugly unless you’re in your room, and even then, make sure the walls aren’t too thin or the person next door can hear you. Second thought, save the snark for home. No good will come of it.
If you need a drink or two to warm up to being friendly and extroverted, maybe dance, so be it. But don’t be “that woman.”
See y’all there.
I’ll be wearing a pink first sale ribbon, so in addition to congratulating RITA and GH finalists, be sure to say it to the first sale ladies. They’ll be beaming, I’m sure.
by Andrea Laurence June 21st, 2011 at 9:11 amAndrea!!!!! CONGRATS ON YOUR SALE! There is nothing, nothing, nothing like the wearin’ of the Pink Ribbon. Enjoy and expect lots of hugs! (Great tips, too!) xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:36 amI SO wish I could go. I would love to meet my fav authors cuz I feel like I know some of you already from your blogs! Just have fun!
by TrishJ June 21st, 2011 at 9:13 amMaybe someday, Trish. RWA moves around and the booksigning is open to everyone! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:36 amI haven’t been to an RWA conference, but I remember my first SCBWI conference. I was so shy, I hardly knew where to look.
I couldn’t ever think of questions to ask, so I started hanging out around the folks who did ask questions. I learned so much by standing with the people who talked to authors or editors at the conference. I’d get the benefit of hearing answers to really intelligent questions- and I got to know the people asking them!
by Sarah June 21st, 2011 at 9:14 amVery smart, Sarah! I’m dying to get to a SCBWI now that I write YA. I just heard there’s one in Orlando next week! Waaah. I’ll be in NY! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:37 amDon’t get so drunk in the bar that when you see another author holding the winning trophy for the contest in which you both finaled, you say to your posse, “Can you believe I lost to a total nobody?!”
I (ahem) they will never forgive and forget.
Have fun!
by Leslie Kelly June 21st, 2011 at 9:20 amOMG, Leslie, I’ll never forget that moment when XXX did that to YOU. Like I said, karma… Can’t wait to see you!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:38 amugh, did someone really say that????
by Karin* aka Harlow! June 21st, 2011 at 1:03 pmYes.
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:31 pmI’m not a writer, but would love to meet all those that write the wonderful books that I read and those that I don’t, yet-lol; however, from personal experience with conferences for business, I would take eye drops. Even on days or nights that I have nothing to drink, something about being inside all of the time with the dry air makes my eyes red every single morning. Makes me look like I had a great time the night before-which I sometimes did!
by Amy A June 21st, 2011 at 9:24 amEye drops!!!! Right on, Amy, right on. Do not leave home without them! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:39 amHi Rocki! Hope you have a great time at the conference. My one and only time of attending Nationals was in 2006. I went as a bookseller, it was my first conference of any kind and I was petrified. But everywhere I went there were super nice people willing to chat and help if needed. I still chat with friends I made at that conference and I really hope to go back someday. I won’t be a bookseller next time but have opened a website for reviews, interviews, promo etc that keeps me busy.
Hope to see you again some day!
by Debbie Meredith June 21st, 2011 at 9:25 amDebbie – that’s cool! What’s the url of your web site??? xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:39 amRocki, the name of the new website is http://ournovelnotions.com
A former head librarian and I have joined forces on the site and so far we are having a ball.
I’m always looking for books to review and authors to interview so drop me a line!
by Debbie Meredith June 21st, 2011 at 10:58 amGorgeous, Deb!! I’d love to do an interview on that blog! Email me at roxannestc@cfl.rr.com. Looks so cool! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:32 pmThanks Rocki! I will definitely contact you. Other authors are welcome also.
Have a great time at RWA! Can’t wait to read all about it!
Hugs!
by Debbie Meredith June 22nd, 2011 at 9:14 amGranola bars were already mentioned. I always take discreet treats with quiet wrappers (Or unwrap ahead of time and put in a bag. Have you ever been to the movies and someone unwraps something in a really crinkly wrapper and takes FOREVER?) Also, a small (back to discreet) water bottle which can be refilled. The drinks at functions can be vastly overpriced and water fountains can be hard to find. This is for sips between or during sessions, not for use if you’re dining with someone.
Most hotels are really good at restocking, but if the conference is primarily women and a lot of them, a small amount of toilet paper/facial tissues in a plastic bag to keep it clean and untattered is a good idea.
by Anne June 21st, 2011 at 9:25 amAnne, so practical and *quiet* – love that tip! Thank you! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:40 amRSC
by stephanie h. June 21st, 2011 at 9:27 amLove all the do’s and don’ts — I would add for authors — sit back and bask in the adoration from your fans. We love your writing and the stories you tell. Looking forward to seeing you next week! And well since this is NY — bring a little basic black something — doesn’t hurt.
Stephanie
Oh, I could probably do a little basking! The thing about Nationals is there are SO many great authors. I sat next to Susan Elizabeth Phillips in the lobby last year and totally gushed all over her.
BRING SOMETHING BASIC BLACK. Those, folks, are four words of serious wisdom. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:41 amGreat tips. I’m going to RWA this year and have you on my schedule. I love, love, love your books and wouldn’t miss the chance to meet you. Of course, I’ll probably be too shy to approach you, but at least I can see you in person.
Lynnette Labelle
by Lynnette Labelle June 21st, 2011 at 9:32 amDon’t be shy! I am the friendliest person in the world. Please, please, please introduce yourself to me, Lynnette. And prepare to be hugged. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:37 pmThe 1 week countdown has begun!
Excellent tips! I would add gelled shoe inserts for those fabu shoes you simply cannot do without. Also, you can never go wrong with a small vial of hand sanitizer. Especially in NYC!
And the one of the most important axioms to live by all week (no, it’s not One Ring to Rule Them All): beer before liquor, never get sicker; liquor before beer, in the clear.
I’m one of those rare writing creatures who is not an introvert. Jury’s still out on whether that’s a good or bad thing!
Can’t wait to see you next week, Rocki!
by Kiersten Krum June 21st, 2011 at 9:39 amKiersten – Hand sanitizer! Good call! Can’t wait to see you, either! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:37 pmI think what I learned from my first conference was take time to interact with the other attendees, not just the presenters (authors) when you’re just sitting in the hallways. You can meet some really amazing people. But DON’T go ultimate fangirl on the authors/publishing celebrities. Treat them as people who are attending the conference with you. You’ll make a much better impression and get the attention from them in the end.
by Meg V. June 21st, 2011 at 9:40 amOh, I don’t know…a little fangirl can go a long way….. Just sayin’. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:38 pmmy “DO” would only be work when you need but play always….enjoy!!!
would sooo love to be there myself!!!
by Chele Wilson Blades June 21st, 2011 at 9:53 amGood advice, Chele! I somehow manage to get plenty of playtime in! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:39 pmHaving never been to RWA I have no “do’s/don’ts” tips… but I kinda wanna say if you have a Birkin – you can carry it anywhere with anything
[joke!]
by Limecello June 21st, 2011 at 9:59 amAs you said – networking is key. Be friendly – you never know. Someone very important might decide to “adopt” you!
Oh, Limey, I wish I had a Birkin. And I can’t wait to see you! On your very birthday!!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:39 pmYou have natural fashion sense, I’m very jealous.
I watch “What Not to Wear” and wonder why I can’t run to the grocery store in sweats. I cringe when they start layering because it makes me break out into a hot sweat just watching them. I will do irrreversible damage to myself in I have to wear a heel higher than 1″.
So my do’s and don’t are easy. When in doubt, go for comfort and something that doesn’t make you sweat.
(My people sweat )
by Shannon June 21st, 2011 at 10:16 amI love that show, Shannon! I tend to sweat/freeze/sweat/freeze…layering works for me. I usually just have one white and one black cotton sweater that I can throw in a bag and I take it on and off all day! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:40 pmGreat do’s and don’ts, sounds like a great time! Wish I could be there!
by Angela June 21st, 2011 at 10:20 amI wish you could, too, Angela! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:41 pmmy advice is that if you are going to wear the beautiful stiletto hills that kill your feet the DO get some of those Dr. Schoells gel inserts for women. they are made for high hills and willl save your feet.
by Tammy Ramey June 21st, 2011 at 10:29 amalso DO pack Midol,i know you think it is not that time but it helps with bloating/irritability/ back ache and a bunch of other stuff. my sister and i never travel without it and it real does help.
okay that should read heels not hills LOL
by Tammy Ramey June 21st, 2011 at 10:30 amsorry not enough coffee yet!
I have got to get those Scholls gel things. They are going on the list right now! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:41 pmHave a great time at the conference!
by chey June 21st, 2011 at 10:30 amThanks, Chey. As soon as I turn in my book (TOMORROW!!!) I really can concentrate on getting ready. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:42 pmSorry I’m not going, but I want to encourage everyone to do one of the things on the list: Meet Rocki St Claire! She’s as much fun face-to-face as she is on paper!
Have a great time, all and get it sold! Jan Snyder
by Jan Snyder June 21st, 2011 at 10:37 amAwww, Jan. So wish you would be there. You’re like my personal cheerleader! xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:42 pmDO write funny before and after columns to share on MSW. You’re great, Rocki. Have fun.
by LSUReader June 21st, 2011 at 11:08 amI’m up in 2 weeks and, trust me, I’ll have NOTHING else to say but a conference recap. Shall take many pics of do-ers! (Won’t out the don’ts though.) xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:43 pmRocki somehow i feel there was a sales pitch in there for a certain author and i think you want a bag called a Birkin. Subliminal message? lol I feel a sudden need to be somewhere important at 8:30 next Friday. Meet someone names Rocki St Claire. It’s all very confusing now.
Don’t forget your painkiller of choice for headaches hangovers and aches and pains. lol
Wish a great time to everyone who goes to RWA.
Lisa B
by Lisa B June 21st, 2011 at 11:17 amYou read all the subtext, Lisa!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 2:44 pmHang out in the lobby. Make new friends.
by runner10 June 21st, 2011 at 11:37 amThat’d be me!!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:08 pmthis is an awesome list! i wish i could go! hopefully next year.
have fun and enjoy yourselves!
by shadow June 21st, 2011 at 11:37 amdid anyone say hand sanitizer? you might want to bring some of that. you never know where peoples hands have been.
Yes, shadow, someone upthread (Kiersten?) mentioned hand sanitizer. Can never have enough! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:09 pmRocki, I’m can’t believe I’m really going to miss this year’s conference. And your 8:30 Friday morning How Do You Mend A Broken Scene won’t be taped??? It’s a good thing I’ve already heard your workshop–and learned TONS from it! I highly recommend that everyone put that on their DO List! Have a great conference!
by Leigh Duncan June 21st, 2011 at 11:39 amLeigh, I am heartbroken you had to change your plans. You actually haven’t heard this workshop because it is a two-hour version with five “before and after” scenes, so much of the information is new. I can’t tape it because without the handouts, the workshop actually makes no sense. So what happens is I get a few hundred people asking me to email them the handouts (when they hear the tape) which I cannot do, because the handouts cannot be made digitally. These are BEFORE scenes and if they found their way on the internet, I would die of shame. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:11 pmhmm..Do freshen your breath regularly. Don’t over perfume yourself!
Have fun at the conference everyone!!
by Miranda June 21st, 2011 at 12:15 pmMiranda for the Breathfreshener Call!! Yay! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:11 pmDo set one important goal for each conference, that way you will know you accomplished something at the end of the week.
For many conferences I was the quiet, shy one. Once I was a little better I set my goal for Dallas RWA to friend other shy people like I had been friended before. That was my favorite conference ever.
by Jill James June 21st, 2011 at 12:41 pmWill you be there, Jill? I’d love to give you a big hello and hug! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:12 pmI wish. Hoping and saving for next year. I can drive to Anaheim.
by Jill James June 21st, 2011 at 8:55 pmWill see you in Anaheim, then. *please* ???
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 9:33 pmI have attended 3 RWA conferences and i Thriller Writers, thanks to my daughter Allison Brennan. Each and every time I have met wonderful people and found new favorite authors to read. I remember meeting you Rocki, in Atlanta sitting on the park bench in front of the hotel. You were so surprised that I was sitting there and reading your book. I have found that my favorite authors are just as wonderful as their books are. Not going to RWA this year, hope to go next year.
by Claudia Turner June 21st, 2011 at 12:57 pmClaudia, my darling, my surrogate mom! Yes, I was surprised you were reading my book! I was, oh, kind of overwhelmed with joy! You are a great reader, a great friend, and a terrific mom & grandma! Can’t wait to see you again! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:14 pmI’ve never been to an RWA Conference, but here are some Do’s and Don’t's that will work in any public gathering.
DO smile and make eye contact effortlessly. If you feel good inside and relaxed this will naturally show. It also sets off a good vibe that makes you more approachable and likely to finish off the night with many new friends.
DON’T force a grin and stare. That’s just…creepy. It would be funny if you weren’t the recipient of such a glance. Can you imagine the hair on the nape of your neck sticking up because everywhere you turn someone is smiling a little too brightly and staring a little too deeply? *Shudder*
DO carry a small bag with all your essentials. Something light, inconspicuous and will rest comfortably on you. Note essentials doesn’t include “could happen, might happen, just in case”. I mean really, when was the last time you needed 3 chapticks, 4 extra pads and an extra pantyhose in case because the ones before were put to use?
DON’T carry a huge lumpy bag that is sure to fall off your shoulder every minute. Not only does it give you an extra lump to your body, extra slump to your shoulder but it’s also an inconvenience. Can you imagine signing things, or talking but are constantly having to wrestle with your straps? Ugh.
DO make conversation. The point is to network and introduce yourselves and hopefully add some new contacts. There’s no such thing as to much friends!
DON’T collect “friends” and contacts. You know…when you don’t even remember their name or their work or their genre. They’ll know! Finda common ground…same publisher? Same editor? Or perhaps, you like what they are wearing…?
DO DO DO Have fun! Embarassing moments tend to/may happen but if they do/when they happen laugh them off.
DON’T overly think about it, stress or otherwise scare yourself out of a good time.
I hope these helps and gave you a smile =)
by Na S. June 21st, 2011 at 1:01 pmWOW! That is a killer, keeper list! Thank you for posting that! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:14 pmI always read about the plans to go to a conference and feel a little green. Would love to meet many of my favorite authors and other booklovers I have met online. Of course, it would need to be a readers conference but still. The idea of so many of you in one place is thrilling.
by Little Lamb Lost June 21st, 2011 at 1:09 pmWe’re not that thrilling, honestly. But I would LOVE to meet you, LLL! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 3:15 pmBite your tongue, Rocki…you are too thrilling, amazing, wonderful loving, inclusive, warm, sweet, nice, a kick @$$ workshop speaker, a great friend.
Peace and love,
by Paula R. July 4th, 2011 at 2:44 pmPaula R.
Hi Rocki – I’ll be there in NY and will be sure to come to your workshop.
My best conference tip at lunch time or other gatherings, is to resist the temptation to sit with people you know, and instead sit down at a table with people you DON’T know. Last year I did that and the following happened:
by Phyllis Towzey June 21st, 2011 at 1:13 pm(1) I met an author who writes for the editor I was pitching later that same day, and she gave me lots of helpful advice and even listened to my pitch;
(2) I met an agent who I didn’t end up signing with but am still friends with, and had the chance to hang out with her and others during the conference; and
(3) I met a lawyer from The Author’s Guild and learned all about an organization I didn’t even know existed, that has wonderful resources for writers.
Great points, Phyllis! Can’t wait to see you! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:06 pmI love all of the advice in the post and the comments! I won’t be attending this conference, but I love wearing unique jewelry to events like this. Sometimes a spectacular necklace or gorgeous earrings can be a great conversations starter.
Have fun!!
by Janel June 21st, 2011 at 1:17 pmGood point, Janel. I’ve met lots of people because I coveted their jewelry! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:07 pmGreat advice. Have a wonderful time at the conference.
by CrystalGB June 21st, 2011 at 1:18 pmThanks, Crystal! We’re planning on it! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:07 pmAll excellent advice, Miz, St Claire. My only addition is: Don’t take yourself so seriously. Or anyone else for that matter. We are all humans, we all get up and pee first thing in the morning, we all have feelings and they are all valid. No one is better than anyone.
As writers, we all began in the same place: unpublished and staring at a blank page followed by one word then another. We are all on the same journey just at different stages. Remember that. And if some beotch blows you off, remember the name printed on her nametag, because I guarantee you, when she falls, she’s going to fall hard, and she’s going to need a hand up. I recently read this: Never look down on a person unless you are offering a hand up.
There is a lot of perceived bitchness that goes on in RWA (certainly not the norm, but there are exceptions as there are everywhere), and while there are some seriously unhappy people, some of them so called ‘industry professionals’ that prowl the conference halls, they are obvious. Stay away from them, and if you think they have some kind of power over your career, think again. The only power they have is what you give them, and it’s usually counterproductive.
Be cool, be humble, be polite, have fun, and smile. SMILE. SMILE. SMILE!
by Karin* aka Harlow! June 21st, 2011 at 1:21 pmAnd this is why I bow down and adore Ms. Karin Tabke. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:08 pmGreat tips, Rocki. I’ve never attended one of these conferences and I can imagine how one might not know what to say or how to act in various situations. I do hope to go to the literacy signing since it’s free.
by Jane June 21st, 2011 at 2:08 pmWill you be in NY, Jane? If you come to the lit signing, please stop by and say hello! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:08 pmDO wear clothes that complement the weather, especially if you know it’s going to be super hot!
by Jeanette Juan June 21st, 2011 at 2:12 pmSo smart, Jeannette! That’s why I do the layer thing. co
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:09 pmI haven’t been to RWA but I did go to RT in LA this year. I totally over scheduled myself and didn’t end up making it to all of the workshops I had signed up for. I ended up at workshops I didn’t sign up for like the Dean Koontz Q&A. That was very cool. I did meet lots of great people just standing in line for events. There was lots of standing in line. LOL
I’m a very shy person so I wasn’t used to approaching people. I was wearing my favorite ballet flats during that week and I was approached by 5 different women asking about them. Talk about a conversation starter! Once I got through my first two days I was able to relax enough to introduce myself to other attendees. You just have to go for it. Everyone is there because they love books. That is a wonderful community to be a part of.
by StacieDM June 21st, 2011 at 2:33 pmSo true that we’re all there for the same reason. Still, the sheer volume of people can be overwhelming. Ballet flats are an awesome idea – fashionable and cute! “Do pair a snazzy set of ballet flats with a breezy summer skirt for a look that’s easy on the eyes and the feet!” (I’m telling you, I MISSED MY CALLING.)
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:11 pmGreat list – hope all have a great time at the conference!
by MaryC June 21st, 2011 at 3:14 pmThanks, Mary!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:12 pmI finally managed to get out of bed and the first thing I did was come here and comment. This is how much I love your blogs, Rocki
Obviously, I’m not going to the conference, but I have a piece of advice. For whoever wears contacts, take that extra pair of glasses. After a whole day in the dry air conditioner, even with the eye drops, you’re bound to get to that point where the contacts stick to your eyes, and not even the drops help anymore, and they start to sting. You start to rub it, and try to fix it, and more eye drops, but eventually, you can’t t5ake another flippin’ second and the glasses will come in handy. It may not look the bestest, but better “glassy” than blind. You don’t wanna risk walking by your favorite author and missing them because you can’t see what’s in front of you, right?
I’ve been thinking about going to RWA next year because it’s in California and I want to go to Reno, so, I could kill two birds with one stone and a friend of mine wants to go, but I think, you’ve met. Can you imagine someone as SHY as me in a place where I’d have to TALK to people and SOCIALIZE? I’d get eaten up. I panic just thinking about it. I think I need like 5 years of therapy before I can attend a conference comfortably.
by Barbie June 21st, 2011 at 3:15 pmSo sorry you’re sick! Great advice with the contacts – I always rip mine out and bring out the glasses the minute we get back to the room.
Your first RWA will overwhelm you, Barbie, I know you well enough to guarantee this. There’s a lot going on! But if you come with a goal and a schedule, and an open mind (and comfortable shoes), you might have the time of your life.
Get better! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 4:13 pmBarbie, I hope you do come next year. Find me…I’ll escort you around, and introduce you to people. That’s a promise!!! I’m easy to spot, cause I look like me on FB and twitter…lol!!!
Peace and love,
by Paula R. July 4th, 2011 at 2:50 pmPaula R.
Great post. Looking forward to reading the recaps when everyone gets back. And fashion advice is never out of place.
by Donna S June 21st, 2011 at 4:24 pmThanks, Donna! We should have good recaps on the return! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:43 pmHave a wonderful time at the conference. I will definitely keep your check list (dos and don’ts) in mind when I go to the conference in Anaheim next year. I sure hope you’ll be there and you’ll do your How to Mend a Broken Scene workshop in Anaheim. I know your attendees this yar will learn a lot from you Rocki!
by Linda McDonald June 21st, 2011 at 5:16 pmI’ll be in Anaheim, God willing. Don’t know if I’ll get asked to do the workshop again, but if I do, be there! Even if I don’t, please say hello, Donna! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:44 pmRocki, I will see you Wednesday morning at NRCA and your panel is in capital letters and bolded on my conference agenda.
I wish I was going to some of the cool parties. I’m just not cool enough yet. Someday.
And unlike so many others, I’m all about the comfortable shoes. No fashion maven am I. Though I do like to watch what everyone else is wearing. LOL And I always have a first aid kit in my purse. Ibuprofen. Bandaids. Hand sanitizer, etc. (That first responder training dies hard!
)
I can’t wait to see everyone next week!
by Silver James June 21st, 2011 at 5:36 pmNow I know where to find emergency bandaids, ibru, and hand sani. I can’t wait to see you, Silver. The “cool” parties are in the bar – be there! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:45 pmAye, aye, mon capitan!
by Silver James June 21st, 2011 at 9:02 pmLove your do’s and don’ts. Love the one about the bar and the shoes. I have to have comfy shoes that’s a must. Always take pain meds for the hang overs.
by Quilt Lady June 21st, 2011 at 6:19 pmGetting a lot of hangover advice today. Hmmm. Do y’all think I ever get those??? xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:46 pmNo suggestions but do have a great time and tell us all about it so we can dream about going next year.
by Joyce June 21st, 2011 at 6:25 pmThank you, Joyce. Hope you make it next year!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:46 pmI never been to RWA conference, but I hope to someday and meet you. You and the others have listed some great Do/Don’t list
I just want to wish you a fun time and to let you know that I really love all your books. Looking forward to discover more great books from you 
by Julia-Yen June 21st, 2011 at 6:45 pmOh, Julia! So sweet! Hope to meet you, too, if not at a conference, maybe a signing someday! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:49 pmI enjoyed the post. My only do’s would be to wear shoes that are cute but comfortable and not brand new, and to have layers so you won’t be cold, but if you’re hot you can remove something.
by Barbara Elness June 21st, 2011 at 6:45 pmCute But Comfortable…always the conference challenge! Thanks, Barbara! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 6:49 pmI know a travel sewing kit saved me last year. Make sure you have cute shoes, but break in any new ones before next week.
by Liza June 21st, 2011 at 7:27 pmSewing kit: SMART!!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:34 pmOh, yeah. I carry one of those AND an eyeglass repair kit.
I think I was a boy scout in my last life. LOL
by Silver James June 21st, 2011 at 9:03 pmDo have a great time and enjoy yourself.
by Maureen June 21st, 2011 at 8:02 pmI’m planning on it, Maureen! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 21st, 2011 at 8:34 pmI can never think anything to ask! I get tongue tied in public unless it’s a prepared presentation.
by Jen B. June 21st, 2011 at 10:02 pmThen just listen to everyone else’s questions, Jen. Presentations are hard, I know. I love when people ask questions! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 7:07 amGreat list of dos and don’ts. I would definately have to also carry a small first aid kit, a those little purse packs of Kleenex.
Have a great time!
by June Manning June 21st, 2011 at 10:15 pmThanks, June. Great suggestion for those li’l Kleenex packs! I always have them – years of being a mom! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 7:07 amI don’t have any do’s or don’ts to share because I have never gone anywhere. Seriously, I have never gone anywhere, not even on a honeymoon. But, I am looking forward to hearing about all the great things you will see/do! Hope you have a great time
by Tiffany D. June 21st, 2011 at 10:18 pmI’m excited to be going to my first RWA and to be having drinks with you and the gals from MSW on Tuesday night (I am the Brenda Novak auction winner).
I do a lot of traveling for my day job and my best hotel tips (especially when sharing a room) are:
1) pack your clothes on lightweight hangers, the hotel never gives you enough
2) travel with a small power bar … there is never enough power outlets either so this way there’s plenty of room to charge up all your devices
3) I swear by Airbourne … take it a couple of days before you leave and one a day while away … definitely lessens the chance of getting a cold or flu
Have a great conference everyone!
Cheers
by Caroline A. Godin June 22nd, 2011 at 1:01 amCaroline
But if you read….you go everywhere! Thanks, Tiffany! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 7:08 amDo carry a decent sized handbag if you intend on being out for the day. You WILL need some essentials. Water for one.
by Mary Preston June 22nd, 2011 at 12:52 amNo one mentioned water – so important. I buy a package of 8 for the room and drink it CONSTANTLY. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 7:09 amDid anybody mention a small pack of wet wipes? Those are always needed around my house. Three boys and 4 grandkids have made it a must keep item for my purse.
by Debbie Meredith June 22nd, 2011 at 9:12 amGreat thinking, Deb! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 10:29 amOne of my goals this year is a good “Don’t” for everyone, I think–Don’t let the stress/fun of conference tempt you to abandon your workout routine! You’ll sleep better and offset the extra calories from wine and banquet lunches and cocktail parties if you hit the gym every morning.
GREAT list, Rocki and Co.!
by Louisa Edwards June 22nd, 2011 at 9:39 amLouisa, WE ARE WORKING OUT EVERY DAY TOGETHER. You know I’m serious. Just like I am every morning when I wake up and say…well, you know, roomie. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 10:30 amLouisa, I’ll meet you and Rocki at the gym. No really, I will. Because then I’ll actually work out as opposed to hitting snooze b/c I was up too late with y’all at the bar!
by Jessica Scott June 22nd, 2011 at 10:11 pmI WISH I WAS GOING!!!!!!!
Alas. Not this year.
by Patrick Alan June 22nd, 2011 at 9:44 amIt simply won’t be the same without you. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 10:31 amDon’t forget to (1) hydrate and (2) meet your fans.
by Sandi F June 22nd, 2011 at 10:20 amI know one fan who is getting a huge bear hug! (And by bear, I do mean BRUIN…ha ha ha!!!) xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 10:31 amLove the advice! And, oh, thanks for the reminder about the bandages. An absolute necessity… especially when breaking in new shoes. Wait, why am I breaking in new shoes at a conference?!
by Sheila Roberts June 22nd, 2011 at 11:03 amCause you’re like all of the rest of us…crazy? xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 9:24 pmDon’t talk to your friends during a workshop – got something that can’t wait? Take it to the bar!
by Lara Chapman June 22nd, 2011 at 2:02 pmI *almost* included that in my list, Lara. I can’t STAND workshop talkers!! Thanks for mentioning it! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 9:25 pmHmmm…. DO pack something for headaches! I get them a lot, so I know how one can ruin your whole day. Make sur ethey are in your purse and not your hotel room!
by Chelsea B. June 22nd, 2011 at 5:27 pmYes, headaches. I needed to hit a sales girl up for Advil today at the mall. MUST bring some to NY! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 9:26 pmI love your list!!
by Stephanie Caballero June 22nd, 2011 at 9:16 pmMy first conference was in SF and my tip is: Do not forget your table manners! I sat at a table with a bunch of people I didn’t know and one woman would talk with a full mouth, spitting food at those of us nearby. It was disgusting!
Whoa, good point, Stephanie. We all work at home, eat at our desks, and forget…common manners!! (I LOVED the SF conference!!) xo
by Roxanne St. Claire June 22nd, 2011 at 9:26 pmI’m late to the party but what else is new. I’m sure everything has been covered but the biggest thing for me last year as a first timer was to just embrace it. Get out there. You didn’t spend 200$ a night to sit in your room and wish you were out there. Go for it. Get out . Talk to people. Know your audience. Know what’s going on in publishing.
Don’t stalk agents or editors unless its in a fun, cheeky, not creepy way.
It’s fine to ask for pics and autographs. Not ok to ask to read your manuscript. DON”T GET HAMMERED. Don’t be rude.
BANDAIDS BANDAIDS BANDAIDS. And mascara because I promise you, what is $5 at home will be $25 in the city.
Mostly, just have fun and take a lot of pictures. Deidre Knight told me it’s a great big group of sisters. It really, really is.
by Jessica Scott June 22nd, 2011 at 10:03 pmYou’ll have a blast!
The conference sounded fun and incredibly intense. Thank you for sharing with those of us who are unable to attend. =)
by Shannon June 22nd, 2011 at 10:24 pmFind an agent is on my goal this year. so is ‘meet the MSW ladies’ which I will hopefully do at the literacy signing. =)
by Terri Molina June 23rd, 2011 at 1:59 pm