I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. It seems somehow cruel and unusual punishment to start a brand spanking new year with a lot of baggage already strapped on my back, expectations of how I should behave and things I should do and goals I have to work toward. I mean, really, it’s the first freaking day of the new year. I kinda would like to break it in a little, like new shoes, get the feel of it, decide whether or not it fits right or if it needs some soft padding or maybe to be exchanged for the comfy tennis shoes. Or something. [I just spent six hours playing with the g-kid. I have no brain cells left. Pretend that metaphor worked. Thank you.]

What I do like to do on my birthday, though, is reflect on aspects of my life that I see need improving. When I hear a description of me from someone that doesn’t fit, I won’t worry about it. But if I hear it three or four times, from different sources, then it pings, hard, and I force myself to take a steely-eyed assessment and see if it’s something that can be improved, and if I want to improve it, and if the answer to both of those is ‘yes’–then I work on how to accomplish that improvement. [Sometimes, I'll hear the description and realize that it's probably a flaw, but it's a flaw I'm not gonna change, so screw it, because I'm comfortable with it. That's the absolutely wonderful joy of getting older--you get more comfortable in your own skin, you have people who love you the way you are and you aren't chasing some vague notion of who you might be when you grow up. I pretty much love the age I am, which is 48.]

One of the great advantages of the above plan is that my birthday is in the middle of the year, so I get to feel like I’m playing hooky from actual resolutions for the first half of the year. I reflect on the birthday, put some things into motion and usually have either accomplished those things or have gotten them incorporated into my life enough that I feel like they’re going to be successfully integrated, and by the time New Year’s rolls around, I’m relaxed about the whole “goals” thing. But in honor of the impending New Year approaching this weekend, I decided that I would give great thought to what my resolutions would be, if I were to make resolutions, and I realized that I had things I would resolve not to do. Herewith, therefore, is the list:

I RESOLVE:

1. NOT TO become Supreme Commander of the Universe. I know, I know, there was a write in vote and everything, but after my hand cramped after much consideration, I realize that maybe the fact that I still cannot organize my pantry well enough to not have things in there that expired back when my oldest son was eight indicates that I shouldn’t be organizing anything on a global scale.
2. NOT TO eat the chocolate I find in the back of the kids’ closet if it’s older than eight… er… ten… er… fifteen years. Okay, eighteen, but that’s my final offer.
3. NOT TO hand the next passive aggressive bully their ass on a plate, even if they’ve baited me, even if they’ve drawn a big honking mofo target on their ass and wiggled it in public. I will rise above. I will be Zen, people, even if it kills me.
4. NOT TO fling buggers at said person. But I’ll think about it.
5. NOT TO become an astronaut, a physicist, or Angelina Jolie’s new BFF. (Well, I had to at least include one item that I could accomplish. I’m nothing, if not efficient.)

Okay, your turn.

Since I won’t be posting again until after the first, I hope you all have a really happy New Year’s!

(And don’t forget the e-reader contest I’m sponsoring to celebrate Allison’s new release this week of LOVE ME TO DEATH — for a shot at a free Kindle or Color Nook, check out the blog from Tuesday to see the rules and go tweet!)

Three days remain until the new year. Three more mornings to wake up and seize the day before the calendar page turns and I’m off on the new adventure that will be 2011.

I have a list of goals and visions and intentions for the new year: changes I want to make, mistakes I wish to correct and habits I hope to improve. I am painfully aware of the things I did wrong or left unfinished, the good intentions I didn’t follow through on, and it’s easy to get frustrated over my shortcomings.

But I’m trying to resist. “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I frequently find myself telling my son, who is far more demanding of himself than he is of others, and far more critical of his own mistakes. “You need to remember all the right choices you’ve made, and all the successes you’ve had, all the good things you’ve already accomplished.” So in that spirit, I’m taking a little time to appreciate a few things I did right in the past year.

No, I didn't get Dog to write my books for me...maybe in 2011!

1. I remembered to be grateful.

The past few years have kicked my ass in a lot of painful ways. In a life ruled by trial and error, I’ve found myself on the “error” side of the fence far more often than I’d like – and some days it was hard to come up with the energy and the will for one more trial. Loss and grief have darkened my door.

But even on the worst days, the bright spots were there when I took a moment to look for them. I have work I love. Good people have gone out of their way to help and instruct me. I have beautiful, healthy children. My family supports me in so many ways. And though I cannot imagine what I have done to deserve them, God keeps blessing me with extraordinary friends.

2. I spoke up.

After decades of mealy-mouthed, spineless, nice-girl waffling, I stood my ground a few times this year. I’m still a beginner, and it was scary as hell, but once my heart stopped pounding I loved the feeling of knowing I stuck up for my convictions or insisted on my fair share.

3. I kept my mouth shut.

The flip side of the “nice-girl” curse is a tendency towards passive aggression, codependency and control issues. This year, I started working on all of these. I said nothing when I wanted to tell my loved ones exactly what they were doing wrong and how if they just listened to me and did what I said everything would be better. It was hard – really, really hard. But to my astonishment, everyone managed just fine even without the benefit of my micromanagement.

4. I didn’t let fear stop me.

I’ve been dreaming big for a few years now. First I dreamed of publication. Then I dreamed of writing as a career. Now I have an entirely new set of dreams – bold, audacious, outrageous dreams that leave me breathless and terrified.

But I didn’t get this far by turning away when things got scary. I said “Absolutely!” when what I was feeling was “I have no idea if I can pull this off.”  I claimed to be the woman for the job even when I didn’t know the first thing about it. If you happen to see me somewhere in 2011 with a grim and frightened look on my face, odds are that I am silently chanting I-can-do-this-I-can-do-this-I-can-do-this as I step into the unknown yet again.

5. I found time for exercise.

It’s the one non-negotiable in my routine. Everything else may fall to pieces: I may lose sleep, live on potato chips, yell at my kids and cry in meetings, skip showers and forget appointments and let the house go to the dogs – but several times a week I’ll be hiking the hills or sweating on the stepper. I can’t do my job if my body fails me, and since exercise has been proven even more effective at mood management than anti-depressant medication, it’s the best wellness bargain around.

What about you? Share something you did right in the past year, one habit or accomplishment you’re proud of. One commenter will win a beautiful big red Moleskine journal to record your thoughts in 2011. (If you’ve never had a Moleskine journal, you don’t know what you’re missing!)

Characters make the story, and nothing is more important to a successful series than good characters. This is doubly important for a romantic suspense series. There are very few out there where the hero and heroine have a growing relationship over the course of several books. JD Robb’s IN DEATH series is perhaps the best known example. 32 books in (which doesn’t include numerous short stories and novellas!) and Eve Dallas and Roarke are still interesting characters who are working through their conflicts without losing sight of the fact that they love, admire and respect each other. All while battling the bad guys and solving a mystery.

Lucy Kincaid has a well-documented backstory. In FEAR NO EVIL, she was kidnapped on graduation day and raped live on the Internet and would have been killed if not for her brother Dr. Dillon Kincaid and rogue FBI Agent Kate Donovan. Fast forward nearly seven years and Lucy now has a Masters from Georgetown in Criminal Psychology and a degree in computer science, with a specialty in cybercrime. She’s interned for the Senate Judiciary Committee, the Arlington County Sheriff’s Department, and the D.C. Medical Examiners Office. She has her life planned out–every job was selected to make her more appealing to the FBI, she knows exactly what she wants to do for them, and she has a clear plan to get there.

Sean Rogan has a more interesting and, dare I say it, mysterious past. He’s 29, and like Lucy the youngest of a large family. Unlike the Kincaids, his family wasn’t close. When Sean was 14, his parents were killed in a plane crash and his older brother Duke came home to raise him. The other three Rogan offspring all live out of the country. They all have obedience to authority issues, except for Duke, and Sean has gotten into a whole bunch of trouble over the years. He’s broken a lot of laws, all for the right reason, and accepted the consequences.

But instead of telling you about the hero of the Lucy Kincaid series, I thought I’d illustrate his personalities through excerpts. It was hard to pick pivotal scenes that don’t give away spoilers, but I think these work! (Though if you don’t like excerpts from the middle of the book, don’t read on.)

In LOVE ME TO DEATH, Sean is running his own investigation into the murder of a convicted sex offender parallel to the FBI—and is about to be called on the carpet for it. This scene from the middle of the book gives readers a clue as to why Sean is distrustful of law enforcement. Lucy is at work while Sean goes to Dillon Kincaid and Kate Donovan’s house. Dillon is Lucy’s brother, a forensic psychiatrist, and Kate is an FBI Agent who teaches cybercrime at Quantico. And my long-time readers will know profiler Hans Vigo, now an assistant director at FBI Headquarters, and close friend to the Kincaid family. Hans has been a secondary character in many of my books, starting with THE PREY.

Sean followed Kate down the hall. Like Lucy, she looked exhausted. Her hair was still damp from her shower, and thick sections fell in her face. She impatiently tucked them behind her ears.

Dillon was sitting at the kitchen table reading a thick file. A man of about fifty with glasses, a slight paunch, and graying hair sat across from Dillon.

Dillon glanced up. “Sean,” he said, gesturing to the stranger, “this is a good friend of ours, Dr. Hans Vigo. He’s FBI.”

“Vigo.” Sean knew that name. “You’re the profiler?”

“Good memory.” Hans shook Sean’s hand. “We haven’t met.”

“No, but my brother Duke—everyone at RCK— speaks highly of you.”

“How is Duke?” Hans asked.

“Same as always.” Sean had been inching closer to see what Dillon was reading.

Kate stood next to Sean and said, “It’s Fran Buckley’s personnel file from the Bureau, Mr. Nosy.”

“Is that why you asked me here?”

“No, Noah Armstrong wants to talk to you.”

Sean abruptly turned to her. “You’re setting me up to talk to a Fed?”

It was Hans who answered. “You were seen on a surveillance tape entering a restaurant owned by Sergey Yuran. Considering his name has come up in the course of this investigation, we need to know what he said.”

Sean frowned. “If I learned something that would have helped, I would have shared the information with Agent Armstrong on Saturday.”

Sean didn’t feel comfortable talking to the Fed about something that could get him in hot water—he stood by his decision. He considered calling Duke for advice on whether to pull in a lawyer, but quickly dismissed the thought. He wasn’t going to lean on his brother every time he came head to head with law enforcement. He was a big boy, he would make his own decisions, and he knew he hadn’t been out of line in talking to Sergey Yuran. There was no way Yuran would have spoken to a cop, and if it was true he was under surveillance, Armstrong wouldn’t even be able to get in there. Shaking the trafficker down for the murder of a scumbag like Morton was way down on the priority list from trafficking in guns and human beings—which told Sean that Noah wanted this meeting off the record, hence here at Kate’s house. Maybe the Fed wasn’t the “by-the-book” hardass Sean had thought when he met him on Saturday.

Yet, every time Sean had spoken to cops in the past it had come back to bite him in the ass.

Before he’d been kicked out of Stanford, Sean discovered one of his professors liked child porn. Sean exposed his repulsive obsession so everyone would know what kind of pervert he really was. The Feds promised nothing would happen to Sean if he told the truth about how he’d hacked into the professor’s system and what initially tipped him off. Sean told the truth. Next thing he knew, Stanford expelled him for hacking into the school database. Duke had said the FBI did what they could, and Sean was damn lucky he wasn’t in prison. They’d agreed to expunge the record; however, Sean was certain his FBI file was an inch thick. The incident with the sick Stanford professor wasn’t the only time he’d been in hot water when trying to right wrongs.

Kate said, “Sean, you’d better watch yourself around Armstrong. He’s good, and he doesn’t like interference.”

“I didn’t interfere with anything.”

“Showing up at Ralston’s apartment wasn’t interfering?”

“I’m not going to rehash this. You know why I was there. I didn’t screw with his investigation.”

Hans said, “No one is looking to get you in trouble, Sean.”

Sean didn’t know whether to believe him, but Duke thought Hans Vigo walked on water, and that couldn’t be said of a lot of people, so Sean gave the profiler the benefit of the doubt.

“All right, but if Armstrong arrests me, you’d better be the one to post bail.”

Hans smiled. “I give you my word.”

In KISS ME, KILL ME, Sean and Lucy are looking for a missing teenager in New York City. A habitual runaway, they don’t know if Kirsten has run away again—or is in danger. When Sean tracks down a guy who partied with her the night she disappeared, he wants to make sure the college kid learns a lesson.

Sean waited across from Ryan’s apartment to sure that Trey didn’t circle around and go back. Sean considered going up himself—he didn’t think Ryan knew anything more, but he needed a lesson in how to treat women. Trey hadn’t quite figured out what “a little action” at a rave meant, but Sean knew exactly what Ryan was doing. Had he been the one to drug her? Would he do it again to another girl?

Sean crossed the street and went back up to Ryan’s apartment. He didn’t need to be buzzed in—the buzzer was a standard electronic gadget that Sean easily bypassed.

Ryan was leaving with a basket of laundry. “Hey,” he said, nervous.

Sean grabbed the basket and dropped it to the floor. He got in Ryan’s face until Ryan backed up against the wall.

“I don’t like you,” Sean said. “You use women without a thought.”

“I-I d-didn’t,” Ryan stuttered. “Sh-sh-she was will- ing. I swear.”

“Did you drug her?”

“No!”

“I know she was high on something.”

“Everyone was. The drinks were spiked. It was a really wild party, but I swear, I didn’t give her any- thing. I wouldn’t do that! P-p-please believe me.”

Ryan tried to squirm away and Sean put his forearm across the skinny kid’s chest and held him there. “You may not have given her a mickey, but you sure took advantage of it.”

“I’m s-sorry!”

“I have a lot of friends. I’m putting the word out on you. If you ever show up at another rave and take advantage of another girl, and I find out, you won’t have a dick left to screw around with.”

Sean turned and walked away, confident that the kid believed everything he’d said.

And with Lucy, Sean is determined to teach her how to have fun. Lucy is serious most of the time, an “all work, no play” kind of woman. And Sean is a “work hard, play hard” kind of guy. He has just taught her to ice skate, both of them unaware that someone is watching them from the crowded outdoor rink. From LOVE ME TO DEATH:

“I’m proud of you, Luce.”

She cleared her throat. “Why?”

“New experiences.”

“I suppose I’m willing to try anything once.”

“Once?” He frowned and looked worried. “You’re not having fun?”

“I’m having fun. Much more than I thought I would. You’re pretty amazing.” He grinned and winked at her, then kissed her cheek and nipped her ear playfully.

“I am, aren’t I?” he teased.

“My, what a large ego you have!”

“All the better to impress you with, my dear.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow and glanced around Sean to make sure no one was in their way. She turned suddenly, in a full circle, surprising him, and he tried to regain control, but she’d gotten her “skating legs” and spun him until he fell on his butt. She grabbed the railing to keep from falling and laughed.

“So that’s how it is.” He grinned. “You’d better watch yourself, Ms. Kincaid, because payback is a bitch.”

“I can hardly wait.” She surprised herself with how easy it was to joke with Sean.

He got up easily enough and pushed her against the railing. His blue eyes sparkled with humor as he said, “You won’t know when or where, princess.”

“I’m so scared,” she said, suppressing a giggle.

He kissed her, opening his mouth slightly, warming her lips, sending a shiver through her body. His hands were on her face, his leather gloves cold but she barely noticed. He held her there, holding the kiss. His body pressed against hers and she was effectively trapped against the sidewall but didn’t panic, didn’t feel anything but the powerful presence of Sean Rogan.

He sighed, put his forehead against hers and whispered, “How about some hot chocolate?”

She nodded, because suddenly she couldn’t talk.

They left the rink and returned their skates. “Thank you, Sean,” Lucy said and kissed him spontaneously. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”

LOVE ME TO DEATH is on sale today! It’s almost surreal, because I’ve been waiting for this date for a long time. I’m currently writing book three in the series, where Sean is the one in jeopardy

And don’t forget the contest Toni is running! The rules are here.

ADDED 12.28: Whoops! the tinyurl in the TWITTER contest link comes here, when it should be going to a description of LOVE ME TO DEATH! Bad me. Here’s the correct link: http://tinyurl.com/2wel7a5

We usually take a break blogging over the Christmas season, so the MSW gals have graciously allowed me to pretty much take over the blog this week because my new book comes out tomorrow. And because it’s the first book of a series, it’s particularly important to spread the word. Even more so because this week is a heavy week in publishing–a lot of big books are coming out, and I’m small potatoes compared to most of these guys.

In the late 1980s/early 90s, romantic suspense was a thriving and growing genre. Then, in the mid-90s, the market fell out and only those authors who had reached some indefinable plateau survived and continued writing romantic suspense. (Jayne Ann Krentz, Nora Roberts, Linda Howard.) Some of my other favorite authors, like Susan Andersen, turned to lighter contemporary romance, or historicals, or another genre. Susan writes “light” romantic suspense, heavy on the romance and fun. I love her new books, but still miss her romantic suspense. She wrote one of my favorite heroes of all time, Sheriff Elvis Donnelly in EXPOSURE (which is being re-issued this coming April with a new–and much better–cover.) In light of my blog last week, I thought I’d show you the two covers. The new one, twenty years later, is definitely more contemporary for what romantic suspense readers expect today.

New Cover

Old Cover

In the early 2000s, I was writing romantic suspense because it’s what I loved to read. I read THE SEARCH by Iris Johansen and THE THIRD VICTIM by Lisa Gardner, both published in 2001, while I was on maternity leave with my son. They were “first” books for me by those authors, and I glommed onto everything else they wrote. For Lisa, I because a life-long fan. (And was lucky enough to read her upcoming LOVE YOU MORE. All I can say is WOW. Two strong female characters and a race against time. I loved it.)

Something clicked with THE SEARCH and THE THIRD VICTIM–the books were dark and twisty and everything wasn’t wrapped up in a neat little bow, even though there was of course a happily-ever-after. But for me, they showed me that there were truly no limits in story and that I could write a suspense novel with a satisfying relationship. For me, that revelation was what I needed to give me permission to write—that and a swift kick in the butt. (By me—my theory is that before you sell, no one cares whether you write or sell a book, except you. YOU have to want it bad enough.)

My writing really took off. It took me awhile to discover my voice and hone my skill and learn (and I’m still learning!) but those two books and how the stories were told impacted me in a way that I could practically taste. I was excited about my writing, where it was going, and the ideas battling in my head.

When I joined RWA in early 2003, I was told by both published and unpublished writers that romantic suspense was “dead” or “difficult to sell” and I should target Harlequin because they published more books and had a romantic suspense line. Well-meaning people—many published authors—told me that all the great romantic suspense and suspense authors started in Harlequin: Nora Roberts, Lisa Jackson, Tess Gerritsen, Lisa Gardner—and more. The problem was, my voice wasn’t a category voice, nor did I have the gift of writing complete and satisfying stories in the shorter word count. Category writing isn’t easy, and I didn’t know how to modify my natural voice to fit the requirements. So I continued writing 100,000 word romantic thrillers and figured someday I would sell. (I mean, if I were a man would anyone tell me I had to start at Harlequin because they publish more books?)

I sold in March of 2004, but THE PREY wasn’t released until December 27, 2005. During that time, Mariah Stewart—who was kind enough to give my debut a fabulous blurb—had great success with a back-to-back trilogy, so our publisher decided to try me as a b2b2b debut author. I wasn’t the first b2b trilogy published—many came before me. But I believe I was the first debut author, so it was a risk for Ballantine, as well as me. It paid off when the books did well, partly (I believe) because of great covers, a strong marketing campaign by Ballantine, and the surge in romantic suspense sales. My books came at a time when there were only a few romantic suspense authors consistently publishing—after the fall of the genre in the mid 1990s, many authors reinvented themselves or stopped writing. So I filled a void—something that no one can plan for.

Today, there’s been a dip in romantic suspense. I think this is due to three primary factors. First, a glut in RS titles. Second, an increase in violence as authors are trying to one-up themselves. And finally, and perhaps more important, romantic suspense has blended into many of the other genres, most notably in paranormal. So many of the paranormal books, particularly urban fantasy, are really paranormal romantic suspense.

Romantic suspense has become it’s own genre, and is blended in with other genres. Even in contemporary romance books, there is often a mystery or a minor suspense element that is developed through the book. It may not be a suspense core, but it’s a subplot that gives readers their fix. Romantic suspense, as a genre, may be a little bit sick today, but it’s in no way dead or dying.

My brand romantic suspense tend to fall firmly on the suspense/thriller side of the equation, but I still need a happy (or happier) ending. I don’t need my hero and heroine to ride off into the sunset at the end of the book, but I need them to be in a better place. For Lucy Kincaid and Sean Rogan, each book will bring them to a different, and stronger, point in their relationship. The readers will know they love each other, but each book will build on that and they’ll have important and realistic issues to work through. One reason I love J.D. Robb’s Eve Dallas and Roarke (other than their great characterization!) is that they have believable conflict but the reader still knows that they are in love. I hope to achieve that with Sean and Lucy.

Romantic suspense may have dipped, along with much of the book market across the board, but it’s very much alive. It’s still a genre that readers enjoy, and I suspect that any dip will be made up down the road as popular fiction sales are cyclical. Which is good, because I can’t imagine writing anything else.

And now, for an amazing contest that our own Toni is running for me!

A chance to win a FREE E-READER—EITHER A KINDLE OR A NOOK COLOR…

Here are the rules per Toni:

If you’re on Twitter, this one’s for you. Contest starts on December 28th and continues through midnight, January 3rd, central standard time. All you have to do is tweet or RT this exact tweet:

RT with #LMTD & b eligible to win ereader: Can’t wait to read @allison_brennan’s new thriller LOVE ME TO DEATH http://tinyurl.com/22kpem2

BE SURE the hashtag #LMTD is in there for me to see your entry.

One entry per twitter name per day makes you eligible to win either a Kindle or a Nook Color—whichever one you choose (see the links for the specific model) if your name is drawn in the random drawing. Plus, the winner will receive a $50 gift certificate to the ebook store their reader came from in order to help get a jump start on purchasing books for their new ereader!

If there are more than 1,000 entries (remember, one entry per person)—there will be TWO prizes given away, so spread the word, but let them know they have to tweet that exact tweet, okay?

Contest void where prohibited. Any winner who happens to be outside of the US may opt for the cash equivalent (via Paypal) of the Kindle ($189 USD) + the $50 cash (also via Paypal—for a total of $239 USD) if they cannot use the Kindle or the Nook in their country.

Winner(s) will be announced on my Facebook page, as well as on my blog on Monday, January 10th, by 5 p.m. (CST) and on Twitter—so follow me there if you want to see it there. (I’ll post it to Twitter first.)

You can read an interview I did with Toni yesterday at Murderati. She asked HARD questions! And tomorrow, right here to celebrate the release of LOVE ME TO DEATH, I’m posting exclusive excerpts from LOVE ME TO DEATH and KISS ME, KILL ME—insights on the characters Sean Rogan and Lucy Kincaid.

Now for the fun stuff. Tell me . . . did you get an e-reader for Christmas? If so, what’s the first book you downloaded? If not, did you give or get any books for Christmas? What were they?

We hope everyone had an awesome holiday weekend!

The winners of the five (5) copies of Pride and Pleasure (as chosen by random.org) are:

#10 – Terry Odell
#34 – Christina Harrison
#43 – Chelsea B.
#02 – B.E. Sanderson
#27 – Sherry S.

Send an email to sylvia@sylviaday.com with your mailing address and the books will go out right away.

Here’s to the last days of 2010 being fabulous!