 | 19 Jul 10 |
Leave a tip in the comments today, and I’ll put you in a drawing for a $15.00 gift card from my favorite place to shop—Starbucks.
I hate shopping. I spent yesterday at an outlet center and a mall getting nothing but a sore ankle (the one I just got a freaking shot in to stop it from hurting) and high blood pressure.
I loathe shopping and it’s getting worse because nothing will ever fit me again. EVER.
I don’t want to talk about shopping. Although if you see me at RWA Conference, try to ignore the fact that I look frumpy, out of date and middle aged. Inside me, there used to live to a youngish, confident, occasionally trendy and fashionable woman, but I dragged her out to the farm and shot her dead. So she won’t be there, just me.
I really detest shopping.
But you know what I do love? Hanging out with really smart, funny, and talented friends. At the RWA Conference, I’ll get to see a big heap of those friends. The question here is simple: Am I going to grab hold of the chance to mix, mingle and have a great time, or am I going sit around worrying that I’m not thin enough or dressed right?
There is only one right answer.
So my advice for conference is this:
-Get out of your own head and join in.
-Ask questions. If you aren’t naturally good at this, think up a few ice breakers before going. “What do you like to read?” That’s an easy one as everyone there is most likely a reader.
-But don’t ask rude question. “How much do you make?” Or any variation is rude. Flat out. And also, let me just say two things on this subject: One, the way monies are broken up in publishing almost makes it impossible to answer without a flow chart; and second, never trust people who tell you who much they make. I’ve seen some whopper of lies that made me choke with laughter.
-However, a discussion on what seems to be standard or average advances for various houses, and more general discussions like that are perfectly fine. We’re all there to learn more about our business.
-Listen when others are talking. I’m talking to myself here too! Sometimes, I’m so excited to share something, I’m not letting others talk.
-Set a couple realistic goals. Getting a publishing contract is not realistic. But attending the Spotlight of the publishing house you’re interested in, and maybe talking to one of their editors if you have specific questions is realistic.
-Don’t interrupt or intrude on private conversations. Remember that people are also at conference on business. Editor or agents are meeting with their clients over meals and drinks. It’s one of the few times they get meet face to face. They’ve actually slotted these times and they are talking business.
But the main thing is not to let your own insecurities hold you back! And hey, if you are feeling insecure, come stand next to me, The Frumpy One, for a while. You’ll feel much better!
Okay, guys, I’m opening this up for your advice. Throw out any conference tips, shopping tips, traveling tips, or anything you want. I’m easy today! Leave a tip, and I’ll put you in a drawing for a $15.00 gift card from my favorite place to shop—Starbucks. (Because everything fits me there.)
© 2010 – 2011, Jennifer Lyon. All rights reserved.
Award winning author, Jennifer Lyon, always wanted to be a witch. Since her witch-powers never materialized, she went onto Plan B and now she creates magic in her books. In her new series, the author of the acclaimed Samantha Shaw Mystery Series (written as Jennifer Apodaca) introduces the Witch Hunters, legendary men who must overcome a curse to team up with witches and fight evil.
Subscribe to Posts 
Excellent and timely thread. Here are a few tips I’ve learned:
1) pack comfortable shoes. Yes, pretty shoes are kinda the norm, but if you have blisters because they are not broken in, you will seriously regret it. You won’t be able to do as much, nor will your attention be fully on the people around you.
2) pack band aids and first aid supplies–nothing wastes time more than having to run to the local pharmacy for these things.
3) there’s a great product a friend of mine, JT Ellison, swears by, called Save My Feet
4) safety pins. Trust me on this.
5) get flat-rate boxes and go ahead and affix the postage to mail books home so you don’t have to lug them in an extra suitcase. I usually bring 3, and I don’t address them ’til I know I’m going to use them, but I don’t have to wait in lines anywhere–I drop them off with the concierge and voila, I’m done.
6) bring snacks for your purse–whatever you like, trail mix or granola bars, etc., because sometimes you run out of time to eat and finding vending in those hotels can often be a nightmare of a waste of time.
7) Make notes where possible when you meet people, because you’ll get overwhelmed. Ask for a business card / bookmark and when you get back to your room that night, take the ten minutes it takes to jot down a note about that person so it’s easier to remember them later.
8 ) Almost everybody there feels overwhelmed. They’re worried that they’re not going to recognize people they have met before and are feeling awkward – so introduce yourself. Don’t worry if you’re not published or you feel like you’re in the presence of a bestselling author–they’re just people. They’re probably more insecure than you can imagine. And if someone doesn’t remember you, don’t feel like it’s you–they’re just overwhelmed, so step outside of your personal habits and re-introduce yourself anyway. I know I was really grateful when people realized I was just mind-boggled by the shear volume of people and they reminded me where we’d met.
9) Hang out at the bar. If you see a group forming, slide over and join. If they’re rude, find new people–there are too many amazing women going to this thing to let a few bad apples ruin it for you.
10) Pay attention to the people around you who are looking a little lost or too scared to mix. Help yourself by helping them. It’s a lot easier to break the ice when you’re helping someone else do it.
11) Get some rest. You will be glassy-eyed by Saturday if you don’t.
Um, I probably should have used this for my Thursday blog! Oy!
by toni mcgee causey July 19th, 2010 at 1:23 amToni, these are the best tips! Thanks!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:10 amHi Jen,
by Jane July 19th, 2010 at 3:15 amI’ve never attended a conference so I don’t have any tips to share. I agree that comfortable shoes are a must. If you’re checking luggage, make sure you have a change of clothes in your carry on in case your luggage is lost.
Jane, that’s a great one! And one I don’t follow, but I should listen to you!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:11 amYou girls are going to have sooo much fun.
by Catherine July 19th, 2010 at 6:28 amMe, I love to shop, browse, or cruise around.
Jen, here’s my one thing that will fit anyone–Starbucks Iced Green Tea–no water (they add some to dilute it, makes it too weak) it’s the best part of shopping or traveling.
Enjoy!!!!
Catherine, I will try it!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:12 amI hate shopping more.
by Marianne Donley July 19th, 2010 at 7:00 amMarianne, I swear I’m going to start shopping online!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:12 amSome of us, however, sort of live to shop.
Great and timely blog, Jen, full of terrific advice! So is Toni’s comment. I have very little to add except to underscore your point about getting out of your comfort zone to meet people. At the lunches (don’t miss them!) slide into a seat at a table where you don’t know a soul. You only have to ask one question to anyone: What do you write? Everyone there writes something; if they don’t – bingo! You’ve found an editor or agent.
Also, the “listen, don’t talk” advice is right on the money. (Guilty as charged.) You want to learn and absorb, not chatter.
Also – bring a sweater to all the workshops and lunches. It’s 89 degrees and 400% humidity outside…so they set the air conditioners to Teeth Chattering Cold, so you’ll want a light wrap.
I love conference – have since my first on ten years ago. I am overwhelmed with the sensation that “I’m with my people” and that energizes me. It also exhausts me – I cry by Saturday every year for no good reason.
I can’t wait to welcome you all to Florida!
by Roxanne St. Claire July 19th, 2010 at 7:22 amRocki, I wish I loved to shop! I need someone to teach me the art. Seriously.
Getting out of our comfort zone is the hardest thing but it makes the experience so much richer!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:14 amEverything, Rocki said!
I can’t wait to see everyone!!
by Karin Tabke July 19th, 2010 at 7:55 pmWhat I’m trying to keep in…
I need:
Comfy shoes (cute and comfy, checky)
a bottle of water (will buy closer to)
try not to look like a blabbering moron…(I’m screwed, I always look like a blabbering moron)
We leave in five days… *G*
by Shiloh Walker July 19th, 2010 at 7:34 amShiloh, me too on blabbering moron. We should start a club with contests to see who puts their foot (with comfy shoes) in their mouth first. I inevitably say something stupid, or forget an important person (like at my publishing house–I’m probably notorious for this).
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:18 amFabulous suggestions from all! I can’t wait to see everyone! Whenever I prepare to go to conference I think of the Lil Wayne song, “Let it Rock.” And when I arrive…I will bring the fire! So bring every ounce of confidence you can muster!
by Debra Webb July 19th, 2010 at 7:55 amDeb, bring it on
It’s going to be a blast!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:19 amToni left wonderful tips, and I agree with Rocki about meeting new people at meals. That ‘what do you write’ is the perfect question and works for just about anyone.
I also recommend taking some ‘quiet time’ – I pack herbal teas for an afternoon break. if you’re on a budget, skip the pricey hotel breakfasts. I pack instant oatmeal. This has the added advantage of letting you sleep in, no crowds in the restaurants, and you can work into your day in a more relaxed setting. (I did my own conference tips blog right before heading for RomCon). One more tip-bring your own tote. It won’t look the same as everyone elses, so you won’t pick up the wrong one, or have someone else grab yours. Plus, you have more room to carry swag.
by Terry Odell July 19th, 2010 at 8:01 amTerry, down time is so important! It’s why I often get my own room. It really helps to get away and process a bit. That’s a great tip!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:21 amGreat and funny post. I won’t be going to the conference, but my advice would be to simply forget about whatever your ultimate goal is and just meet people. Focus on talking to as many people as possible without making it about whatever agenda is in the back of your mind. Save that for another time and just make some connections. Those connections could bear fruit at a later date if you need them to, but just get out there now and have some fun (the fun being meeting new and interesting people).
PS – I’m a confirmed shopaholic who refuses to seek any type of therapy (unless of course it is retail therapy).
by kris July 19th, 2010 at 8:15 amKris, I am jealous of your shopaholic personality! If I shopped more I wouldn’t be panicking now. It’s hopeless, I shall simply rise above my frumpiness and have fun anyway!
You’re so right about connections and networking. But the bonus is that we end up making friends! And these days with the Internet, it’s easy enough to keep in touch.
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:24 amThese are all great tips!
This is my very first time attending nationals and I’m overwhelmed and have no idea what to expect. I’ve also only met one or two people attending in person before so more than likely I’ll be that lost lady you see walking around!
One tip from other conferences I’ve attended would include keeping your business cards in an easy to reach place – don’t bury them in the bottom of your purse and make yourself fumble around to find them!
by Sabrina July 19th, 2010 at 8:37 amSabrina, that’s a very good tip! It’d word even better if I had business cards this time. But most people do so excellent tip!
You’ll have a great time! It is overwhelming, but just remember everyone feels a little lost at times.
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:26 amI can attest to the Toni’s safety pin rule.
** Bring pain meds (Tylenol, Advil, whatever.)
** I second the comfy shoes.
** Don’t be afraid to say hi.
** Airborne! Airborne! Airborne! Hotel ventilation breeds germs. (I’m not a health freak, but when I take Airborne daily when traveling I don’t get sick. Knock on wood.)
** Give people the benefit of the doubt. Just because someone doesn’t remember you, or because someone APPEARS to ignore you, or whatever, don’t assume that they are acting diva or don’t want to talk. People can be distracted by things going on at home three thousand miles away, or bad news, or a runaway pet, or have a migraine, or whatever. Cut people slack and don’t take things personally.
by Allison Brennan July 19th, 2010 at 9:20 amAllison, YES!!! I walk by people unintentionally. Sometimes I’m just plain tired and not tracking as quickly as I should. I’ll be several feet past someone and realize, “Hey, wasn’t that Allison?” By the time I turn around, she’s vanished into the crowd. Thank you for mentioning it!
Amen on the (over the counter) pain meds.
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:29 amA bigger suitcase for all the goodies is a good idea. Also someone said, business cards, apparently lots of industry folks will be at RWA and tend to ask for it.
by Scorpio M. July 19th, 2010 at 9:36 amScorpio, great advise on the suitcase! And yeah, everyone but me brings business cards. I’m just lazy this year, LOL!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:43 amWah, I’m the only one from MSW not going to the RWA conference…
I have a love hate relationship with shopping, some things I love shopping for, shoes, boots, others….umm, swimsuits? Ugh. Not so much.
You all have given fab advice and I have not at single thing to add…
by Lori G. Armstrong July 19th, 2010 at 9:50 amLori, we’ll miss you! I wish you were going.
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:44 am(sigh) Lori, I’ll be sitting (heavy emphasis on that) this one out because of the foot. It’s fractured, not just sprained, and though it’s healing, I still can’t even wear a shoe on that foot. I still am having to wear the boot. ugh. I didn’t want to clomp around airports and the hotel with this damned thing.
by Toni McGee Causey July 19th, 2010 at 12:04 pmOh Toni, I’m so sorry! I wondered if your foot was fractured, not sprained. Same thing happened to my son. But, damn, we’ll miss both you and Lori!
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 12:08 pmGreat tips – and some wonderful additions from readers. I love the “pack comfortable shoes” wisdom.
I remember going to Thrillerfest and having to buy another suitcase just to cart home all of the books I received for free or bought for author signatures. Definitely need to plan for that!
I have a friend who goes to the conferences but spends most of her free time in her room. She doesn’t like to stretch beyond her comfort zone. Although writing is a lonely job, this isn’t the place to be alone
by Dawn July 19th, 2010 at 11:19 amDawn, LOL on the second suitcase! The hotel may ship the books for you too. It’ll cost, but at that point, it might be worth it.
It’s pretty easy to stay in our rooms, and really hard to walk alone into crowds! I have to force myself to do it.
by Jennifer Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 11:45 amJoin a shopping blog or two like Saving Addiction or Friend Family Saving. They find and condende deals into a single e-mail you can subscribe too. There is some duplication, but still….
by Anne July 19th, 2010 at 12:10 pmAnne, thanks for the tip, I’ll check it out!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:23 pmJen–
1) I don’t like to shop, either. I find I do more and more on-line purchasing. I think that’s the way to go for folks like us.
2) You are not frumpy. Smile a lot. And just know that you are not frumpy.
3) I strongly second Jane’s suggestion earlier today about packing an extra set of clothes in your carry-on. It’s a tip hubby and I wished we’d followed earlier this month when we arrived in Scotland, but our luggage did not (for a day.)
Have fun!
by GSM July 19th, 2010 at 12:25 pmGSM, thanks! And I am going to see if I can pack that extra set of clothes in my carryon!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:24 pmDitto the shoes, and sweater, and safety pins!
Also, I always bring a box of granola bars and some tea bags because it’s easy to miss meals and the lines at the lobby coffee shop are crazy long.
by Laura Griffin July 19th, 2010 at 12:44 pmLaura, very true on those long lines!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:25 pmOMG I loathe shopping too!!! And not because my minds eye sees me thinner than I actually am, it’s because its such a hassle to dress and undress and try to wriggle into an outfit without herniating a disc!
I’m sooo bummed I can’t go to National this year, when two of my faves are keynotes. *sigh*
Hmm…conference tips for newbies….wear comfortable shoes!! You’ll be amazed at how much standing or walking you’re going to do and if your shoes are too small or the heels too high…you’re gonna hate yourself by the end of the day.
Most of all….be yourself and don’t diss anyone because you never know who’s listening.
Oh…and when attending workshops and such TURN OFF YOUR CELLPHONE!! It’s not only rude when it rings during a spotlight, it’s also annoying!!
Have fun!! =)
by Terri Molina July 19th, 2010 at 12:48 pmTerry great advice on not dissing anyone (I’ve heard people doing this, shocking). And I try to keep my cell phone on vibrate or off!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:26 pmIf you are tempted to guzzle coffee straight from the room’s mini-pot, like me, throw a few of those one-cup coffee bags (or Starbucks instant) in your suitcase. And if you have a fav brand of sweetner, don’t leave home without it.
by Leigh Duncan July 19th, 2010 at 1:07 pmLeigh, good idea! I am so addicted to coffee.
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:26 pmI’m running late on my rounds today because I’ve just spent the past two days shopping, too. HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! Poke me with red hot pokers. In the eye!
Lori, I’ll miss getting to meet you. Toni, I’ll miss you like damn and whoa, girl! Rocki, Debra, Jen, Karin, and SJ, can’t wait to see y’all! Sophie, we may sort of be sitting across from one another at the literacy signing.
My tip? Drink. DRINK A LOT! (Water, sillies.) Taking a water bottle you can fill with ice in your room and tap water is a cheap alternative to the mini-fridge.
And to anyone going, I’ll be volunteering at the registration desk on Wednesday morning to be sure to say hi!
by Silver James July 19th, 2010 at 2:36 pmSilver, I agree on the water! Even though other beverages are much more fun!
Hope you had some success shopping. Could it be any more frustrating?
I’m planning to see you at the registration desk then stalk you just for fun!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:28 pmI sooo feel your pain on the shopping. My hatred for it grows in a direct proportion to the weight that keeps packing on!
My tip is completely self-serving
If you have a totally lovely in-depth conversation with someone knew, who then passes you in the hallway the next day without a word, consider the fact that she may not be the most two-faced stuck up wench you’ve every met . Perhaps she just refuses to wear her contacts and doesn’t recognize you from a distance.
by Kylie Brant July 19th, 2010 at 2:50 pmKylie, LOLOL!!!! I wear contacts and can relate to that!!! Too funny
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:29 pmComfortable shoes
Pack some snacks
Afternoon catnap
Wish I could be there.
by runner10 July 19th, 2010 at 3:14 pmRunner10—maybe you can go next year in New York!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:30 pmFrom personal experience, when you go shopping make sure you think about what you NEED or really want because a lot of times people just buy things on a whim and never wear or use it. And when traveling make sure to pack the necessities and double check before leaving. Also get a bigger suitcase for the extras you know you’ll bring back or try to pack light.
by Jeanette Juan July 19th, 2010 at 4:18 pmJeanette, great tips, thanks!
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 5:30 pmYou are soooooooooooooo not the frumpy one!!
But I’m with you on the shopping front! I loathe clothes shopping. Those mirrors are direct from funhouses and the lighting sucks! That’s my story and I’m sticking with it!
by Maureen Child July 19th, 2010 at 6:12 pmMaureen, it’s a good story! That lighting is a horror!
I am the frumpy one–but you won’t see because you’re not going
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 8:52 pmI never thought of bringing my own stamped postage boxes! That is BRILLIANT – especially because last year I stood in the long lines and paid giant bucks to send a few books. Thanks for that one!
by Sophie Littlefield July 19th, 2010 at 6:34 pmOh and I just have to share that while I have been shopping mostly at the local discount store for the last couple of years, I did splurge on two beautiful pairs of shoes *with Nike soles*. Yes they are dress shoes, but they *feel* like sneakers. I LOVE them and they were worth every penny! I wore them all over New York City – up and down subway stairs, accross many city blocks, and standing for hours. Best $ I spent this year!
by Sophie Littlefield July 19th, 2010 at 6:37 pmSophie, those shoes sound priceless!!! I hope you have them at Conference and I can see them! I have major shoe issues with the R/A.
by Jen Lyon July 19th, 2010 at 8:53 pmI don’t travel much but when I do I need some nice relaxing music to calm me down lots of times I’ll listen to it to help me sleep. I hate shopping my main reason is because I wear plus size cloths and most of them are ugly or don’t fit right. The only thing I like to shop for is books and I can shop for them all day or at least until my money runs out.
by Sherry S. July 19th, 2010 at 10:14 pmI don’t have any tips for you this morning. I just have a wish for you to have loads of fun and then come back and tell us all about it. I’m counting on the stories to live vicariously through. ;o)
by B.E. Sanderson July 20th, 2010 at 7:46 amLate to the post here, but I wanted to add something for everyone to consider:
Your photo on your card. I get home from conferences and try to remember who was who looking at the cards and it’s a problem.
I make cards just for conferences. They have a photo of me on the left. My name on the top right. My email, web address on bottom right and my tag line in the middle right. It actually leaves enough white space not to be busy.
I use a tag line versus a genre because it’s my branding for both genres that I’m writing in these days.
by Debbie Kaufman July 20th, 2010 at 9:22 amtraveling tip: make sure whoever you fly with knows the right time you fly so you don’t miss it!
by Amanda July 20th, 2010 at 1:11 pmIf you’re shy, you’ll likely find another shy person standing off to the side looking uncomfortable. Talk to this person–she will be grateful and you will too.
Compliment a presenter if you got a lot out of a presentation. I did this at one conference and now this writer knows who I am.
If you don’t have a compliment for a presenter, keep it to yourself. Another presenter got some negative feedback and it ruined her dinner. And I got to hear about it. It changed my perception of the person who said the stuff, and not in a good way.
by Mina July 20th, 2010 at 11:30 pm