. . . I’m not talking about your children!
There’s a phrase writers use in the revision process: Kill Your Darlings. That a descriptive paragraph or scene, no matter how well-written or poignant or suspenseful or romantic or just plain stunning . . . if it doesn’t fit in the story . . . if it can be taken out without changing anything . . . has to go.
Kill it.
It’s the hardest thing a writer can do.
Because killing your darlings goes well beyond a well-turned phrase that may be repetitive, or a scene that is unnecessary. Sometimes in the slash and burn process of editing, characters need to go. And I don’t mean just killing them off in the middle of the book. I mean editing them out of the book completely.
Somehow, editing a character into nothing–completely erasing them–seems so much worse than murder.
I’m wrapping up my final round of revisions for LOVE ME TO DEATH, my January 2011 book starring Lucy Kincaid. Last night I had two major story decisions to make. The first was a series of scenes related to a character that my hero, Sean Rogan, has a confrontation with who subsequently ends up dead. The confrontation scene was fabulous–I loved the scene because it showed Sean being a hard-ass, and because Sean is a bit of a playboy and charming and always in a good humor, I wanted to show him being tough when it was warranted. And there was some great dialogue, too, a great back-and-forth that doesn’t always come easy to me. Then there was the discovering the dead body scene and being interrupted by the FBI. I really enjoyed the back-and-forth between Sean and FBI Agent Noah Armstrong as they butted heads, and then Lucy’s conflict of being in the middle of a crime scene while in the long FBI application process.
But . . . these scenes took up over thirty pages and while well-written and good, they didn’t truly advance the plot. There was no specific reason that Sean needed to talk to the dead guy before he was killed–he didn’t learn anything specific; and in fact, storywise, the guy needed to be long dead before Sean found him.
So . . . I cut all those scenes. And in cutting such a big chunk, I had to edit other scenes that were affected. But nothing changed storywise, and the revelations near the end of the book as Sean and Noah continue their parallel investigations (Sean is a private investigator) make so much more sense now! It’s as if subconsciously, I knew that these scenes weren’t necessary.
Sometimes, we don’t kill our darlings. One scene my editor identified that she felt didn’t advance the suspense plot enough, I decided to keep. I rarely disagree with my editor. In fact, I think the last time I kept an entire scene that she didn’t think was necessary was in THE KILL. But I understood what she meant, so I whittled the scene down a bit, and changed the lead-in to heighten the suspense even though the scene itself is not very suspenseful. But what it reveals about both my characters is, in my opinion, the best way to show the readers who Sean and Lucy are.
But . . . the book isn’t printed yet. The scene may end up on the cutting room floor.
I’ve had to get rid of characters, too. Take Max Revere, a true crime writer who was supposed to be a major character in ORIGINAL SIN. I love Max so much I even bought the URL of his name so he could blog. (I’m not kidding!) I wrote him into the first draft, and my editor told me that she didn’t feel he contributed enough to the story. But I was determined to make him work because I Really Like Max. So I spent a lot of time reworking the story so he had a bigger, more pivotal role. And sent the revisions in, and my editor said he didn’t have a pivotal role, and that he detracted from the story. Reluctantly, very reluctantly, I edited him out of the story. When she read the final version, she said, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but Max was removed easily.” And he was. I’d spent so much time working on his scenes that he wasn’t integral to any part of the story. Just one more character in a large cast of characters.
I argued about it. I tried to convince her that Max was essential. That he was important. That I couldn’t cut him out with messing up the story. But she was right and I was wrong. He wasn’t missed, except by yours truly.
But I was determined to write him into CARNAL SIN. And I did–he had three scenes. They are fantastic scenes. He’s smart and shrewd and intensely loyal–and he doesn’t believe in anything supernatural. He’s also a flirt, in a quiet, soulful eyes kind of way. He just has to look at you and you melt. And he has an agenda, and you know it, and even though you know he’s not all one-hundred-percent good, you’re willing to go along with him because he draws you in in his search for the truth.
And my editor said that he didn’t contribute to the story. I didn’t even argue this time, because she was right, and I knew she was right even as I wrote the scenes. But I wrote them almost defiantly because dammit, I wanted to prove that he was important!
And now he ceases to exist, except in my mind.
Max Revere will be re-born, just not in the Seven Deadly Sins series. Because I had an epiphany the other day. Max doesn’t fit in a supernatural story. He needs to be the lead character in his own story. He’s too strong a character to be secondary to anyone. I’d had a couple ideas over the years, and when I read a snippet of something completely unrelated in a publishing e-newsletter, Max just clicked into place. I have his backstory, I have his first (and maybe only) book, and I have the set-up. It just . . . works.
So not every darling killed will be gone forever. While most of the scenes and snippets I cut from my book during the revision process I’ll never use again, they often give me ideas for future stories. Cutting doesn’t bother me. I’ll slash and burn my manuscript if that’s what it takes to make the story the best I can make it. I love the revision process, even when I have to make the very difficult decision to excise a paragraph, a scene, or even a character, out of my book.
Now for a blatant piece of self-promotion . . . CARNAL SIN will be released on Tuesday, June 22! Yes, book two of the Seven Deadly Sins series is almost here. As regular visitors to MSW know, I loved writing these books. I needed to take a break from romantic thrillers, and writing two supernatural thrillers with a large cast of characters in a classic battle of good versus evil gave me what I needed to reignite my love for writing. I am particularly pleased with the blend of police procedure and the supernatural in CARNAL SIN. (For my fans in Australia, CARNAL SIN will be released down under on July 1.)
RT Book Reviews gave CARNAL SIN four-and-a-half stars and said: “Carnal Sin kicks butt!”
The weekly book buzz at Mania said in their review of ORIGINAL SIN: “Original Sin is yet another new series that is definitely more promising. Original Sin is much more grounded in the supernatural and mystery elements and other books of the same ilk. . . . Brennan masterfully builds suspense and horror in this genre-bending story. . . . All in all this was a strong start to this new series and one I’d recommend.”
I’m giving away a copy of CARNAL SIN. The winner will be announced this weekend. And if you don’t win? You can buy CARNAL SIN pretty much anywhere books are sold come Tuesday . . . or pre-order from Amazon, BN, Borders, or wherever you liked to shop! (Note to last winner of CARNAL SIN–I just got my books in, so yours is going out tomorrow!!)
Come out of lurkdom just to say ‘hi’ . . . or tell me what actor and/or actress you picture in the roles of Moira O’Donnell, Rafe Cooper, Anthony Zaccardi and Sheriff Skye McPherson . . . just for fun






















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I could totally see Drew Barrymore (when she is dark haired) or Rachel McAdams as Moira!
And a big HI! to you Allison! I am so excited for your next book to come out.
Hi Allison, I just read your post on facebook with the link to this blog. I follow your posts, and this is really a topic I needed to hear about where I am at with the ms. I love the fact that you find solace and peace at starbucks and can still juggle all of lifes demands and Kid agendas while working on the masterpiece… I am in the process of revising my manuscript at the present time, as well, and so needed to read your thoughts on killing these little darlings…even though I have other not so nice names for them sometimes when I get frustrated with them. But this is my first attempt at writting and this book has been a very emotional piece of work. I would love to do a series like you are doing now once I’m finished with this. The second one just has to be easier. I appreciate you taking the time to share your views on cutting and revisions. Its nice to be reminded that just because it happened it doesnt mean it has to be in the book. I would love to win a copy of your book. So I hope I’m in the drawing. Your neighbor in Northern California.. Daun.
Daun, I hate to tell you, it doesn’t get easier! Except . . . I did notice with CARNAL SIN that the CHARACTERS were easier. I already knew them from ORIGINAL SIN. So I didn’t have a lot of figuring out backstory and character development and all that stuff, which gave me more time for thinking about the story.
Rachel McAdams . . . someone on the Australian Seven Deadly Sins site mentioned her, too!
Just stopped by to say hi. I’m on vacation with the grandkids and not getting much computer time.
I’m jealous! I want a vacation! Maybe next year . . .
Congrats on the new release. Your books are great. It was very interesting to read about the editing process. Poor Max; hope to see him someday soon!
Me too Kris! Thanks
Congrats on the new release Allison! I can’t wait to pick it up.
Kill your darlings. Ugh. Dealing with that now. It will be interesting to see if my editor agrees with any of my “crucial character building scenes” — where the h/h aren’t in the same scene for…oh, a few pages — hee hee
LOL. I don’t have that problem because my h/h don’t need to be together in every scene. But in romance it’s more important. ironically, the one scene I really WANT to keep with my h/h is more a “romance” scene (not sex!) and I love it because it lightens Lucy up (she’s very serious.) But it still might have to go . . . I keep thinking on it, re-reading, and deciding to keep it.
Congrats on Carnal Sin, Allison! I loved Original Sin so I look forward to catching up with Moira and the gang.
Very nice post and I think every writer knows this feeling of having to let go of a character or piece of the story you desperately want to keep. Like Kris Gilson, I hope to see Max in the future!
Thanks Lori! I have a story idea for Max that I’m just in love with . . . of course, we know what happens when you love something too much. So I’m crossing fingers
I can’t wait for Carnal Sin to come out. I loved Original Sin and can’t wait to read the rest!
Thanks so much!
Happy New Release Allison. I love your books.
Oh yes, David Boreanaz is a yummy guy. How about Jensen Ackles from Supernatural for Sherrif? Damn that man makes my tongue watering. But one of the sexiest men alive I think, you know him
is Phelan Ward. I can’t forget to think of him for a book hero anyway
Kill your darlings. Hard words. But if I think about that phrase for a new book then sometimes it’s (even if it’s sad) neccessary that someone (loved) has to die. If the story is good it can makes it even more interesting. You just have to figure it out how to deal with how you’ll let him/her go, then you’ll find the right way to make it a good story. But you’re a perfect writer, you know it.
And if the story has a happy ending then I’m very fine with it.
Sometimes you have to kill your darlings to get another hero born, right?
Jensen Ackles. Yes. I adore him. He could play Max very easily. I don’t see him as Rafe or Anthony–Anthony is Italian (Antonio Bandalaris maybe–I know, I butchered his name) and Rafe is more like Hugh Jackman . . . David could also play Rico Cortese, who comes in during CARNAL SIN as a secondary character. He’s a very interesting character!
I’m not good at figuring out who’s who when casting books–I just don’t watch enough TV/movies anymore. So I’ll have to trust the rest of you on that. I enjoyed your post. I look forward to reading both Carnal Sin and the future Max book.
I rarely picture actors/actresses BEFORE I write a book, but afterward I’ll see someone in a role and think, “That’s my heroine!” For example, I’d just finished writing THE HUNT when I watched the first season of LOST, and Kate (I think her name is Evangeline Lilly) could so easily play Miranda Moore. It was eerie!
And Timothy Olyphant as Sheriff Nick Thomas from SPEAK NO EVIL.
First, I can’t wait for Carnal Sin to come out! I loved Original Sin. Second, I love this series, and you rock the supernatural, Allison. Third, ever since Buffy, David Boreanaz has been in my dreams! I can’t get enough of him. He’s just luscious!
As for killing my darlings, I appreciate your angst over Max. These characters aren’t just characters to us. They are people, albeit conjured in our minds, but people nonetheless. It’s hard to say, “Sorry, can’t take you with me on this joyride,” when you’ve spent so much time developing them. I guess we just have to develop strong inner-editors so that the slash doesn’t hurt so much.
I love writing the supernatural, so I’m glad you love the series!
Great piece Allison – it’s difficult for many writers to kill their darlings; however, as you as you pointed out, it’s so important for the writer to “slash and burn [her] manuscript if that’s what it takes to make the story the best [she] can make it.”
My critique group talked about this the other day. A couple of us keep those scenes in special files so we have them if we end up being able to use them in other books.
I can’t wait to get my hands on the new book. Huge congrats on the release.
I want a vacation too! Allison your books are awesome, keep up the good work!
First off all, I love the cover for LOVE ME TO DEATH. I just REALLY can’t wait for this book. Really!!!! :/ <– me having to wait.
Second of all, this blog post is fantastic. It… touched me. I'm not kidding. There are several aspects of writing and the business that I wonder if I'd ever be able to deal with. But asking you to leave a character out? That's just heartbreaking. Really, I wonder how I would deal with something like that. They’re like your babies!! I’m glad you figured out what to do with Max. Here’s to hoping you’ll get to write his book soon
And, lastly, Boreanaz is HOT, but kinda sacred to me. I don’t usually see him around as book characters. Most book characters I picture, except for maybe, ONE, ever, (Suze Cleath-Stuart from the Shopaholic Series, which, for some reason, I always pictured her, the character, as Keira Knightley, so much that I call Keira Suze
) I can’t place them to actors. They’re just normal people and it’s hard for me to find actors that would match the characters exactly as I pictured them!
YAY for Carnal Sin coming out!
Lucy’s book has been hard to write because I wanted to do her justice. This is the only book where my hero came alive to me easier than my heroine. Sorry for using David’s picture for Max!
But honestly, I don’t have a good idea for Max anyway, etc, I only know his build and how he walks, not so much how he looks specifically.
Hi Allison! I love this post! I have a very hard time killing my darlings…although I don’t really kill them, I just put them away for future use. hah
The cover for Love Me to Death is great!
Thanks Terri! I’m very happy with the cover. Kiss Me, Kill Me is even better, I think!
Congrats on the upcoming release. I see Kate Beckinsale as Moira.
Your post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’m a new writer and struggling through my first major round of revisions. I came to the realization that the GMC of my hero needed a bit of shift but was hesitating because it would require losing (or completing changing) some of my “favorite” scenes. But now I know it is time from them to go. . .off to do some painful cuts. . .thanks for the final push!
Such a great post, A — I think the “kill your darlings” thing is one of the hardest to do, because typically, those scenes shine. It’s why we love them. We did multiple things right in those scenes, so it’s really hard to see that they somehow stop the story by outshining the scenes around them and not moving the story forward.
If the answer to the question, “Why is this scene here?” is “because it’s so good!” or “because it’s funny/scary/romantic” and not “because x happens that has to happen,” then it may be a darling and needs to go.
I know Toni. I just re-read the scene in LMTD and trimmed it some more, but there is one pivotal thing that happens in the scene–Lucy laughs. She doesn’t laugh a lot, and it’s a turning point for her when she realizes that she can relax and let her guard down, just a bit, with Sean. So it’s staying. Unless my editor cuts it.
Well that, too me, makes that scene a must-stay, because it’s a character-arc moment, and critical.
Allison, I’ve heard this expression a lot since I started writing. I think I might have to do it for one of my mss in the final go around. I’ve edited every but those scenes/characters, etc. I’ll keep trying. I agree with your pick of DB as Max. I Hope to win!
Yay, so glad its almost out. Really looking forward to hearing more about Max too.
I can’t wait for the book to come out. I think it would be really hard to edit out scenes or characters that you really like in a book. I’m glad I don’t have to do it.
Can’t wait to read your new book! I collect them , so I would love to win!
I kill a lot of darlings. I always feel better, as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Congrats on your release next week. here’s to hitting multiple lists!!
I was so busy killling darlings yesterday that I didn’t get to comment on this post – and it’s wonderful. As usual, a master class in revision and writing. In my workshop “How To Mend A Broken Scene’ (I’m doing it in Dallas!), I talk about a scene having a purpose and a plot point. And if, in your mind, you think “this scene shows what a XYZ the character is….” THAT is not a plot point. You can show it, but something has to happen to further the story. Your example was perfect! xo
Ooo, a new Alison Brennan! I’ve been jones’n for one of your books almost as bad as I jones for college football in August.
I try not to picture actors as characters for the books I read, so I have no clue. I do think – based on your description of Max – that you picked a good face for him. Now if you ever do get his book published, I’ll be seeing him as that actor.
Loved your post and I love your 7 deadly sins series. I don’t ever picture any book characters as any actors/actresses because I think it’ll ruin how I or the author pictures them.
I think Gerard Butler would be good anywhere, he is my current favorite. I can’t wait to read your 7 Deadly Sins series.
Congrats on Carnal Sin! I can’t wait to read it. My week has been a bust and to top it off Friday our air conditioning and new T.V went bonkers! It’s been just a lovely, lovely way to end the week. I was suppose to host Father’s Day…..No Air, No T.V. and temps new 95 degrees, nobody wants to come. Great…Everyone, I hope you have a great weekend!
Amazing points, Allison! Wow!