 | 21 Apr 10 |
I love words. I think that’s a large part of why I became a writer. It’s sort of embarrassing to admit, but I can still get lost for hours in dictionaries and thesauruses (I have 30+ thesauruses, I know, it’s a sickness). I’m always scribbling down words I run across, and I love to find words I’ve never heard of. It’s amazing–and humbling–to me that we all have the same words at our disposal, it’s how we use them to tell our stories that make them ours.
But as much as I love words, I’m not particularly clever in twisting them, or even using them as puns. The most original “new” word I came up with in my teen years (and probably *I* didn’t really come up with it) was the word cunique – a combo of cute and unique — and now that I type that years later it looks sort of…dirty on the page.
So when my hubby sent me this list this week, I laughed and applauded the cleverness of those folks whose minds work differently than mine. And naturally, I have to share 
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n..): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n.. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
***
Anyone else have any to share? Any of these in particular leave you on the floor laughing? One lucky random commenter will win a copy of my Lorelei James book, WILD WEST BOYS, a compilation of two novels, which is shipping one month early!
© 2010, Lori G. Armstrong. All rights reserved.
Lori G. Armstrong left the firearms industry in 2000. Her first mystery novel, BLOOD TIES, published in 2005, was nominated in 2006 for a Shamus Award for Best First Novel by the Private Eye Writers of America. The second book in the Julie Collins mystery series, HALLOWED GROUND, released Nov. 2006, was nominated for a 2007 Shamus Award for Best Paperback Original, a Daphne du Maurier Award and won the 2007 WILLA Cather Literary Award for Best Original Softcover Fiction. SHALLOW GRAVE, released in Nov. 2007, was nominated for a 2008 High Plains Book Award, a Daphne du Maurier Award and was a finalist for the 2008 WILLA Cather Literary Award. The fourth book, SNOW BLIND, released in Oct. 2008, won the 2009 Shamus Award, from the Private Eye Writers of America, for Best Paperback Original. Lori is a proud fourth generation South Dakotan and lives in Rapid City with her family.
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by LoreleiJames.com » Blog Archive » Chance to win a signed copy of Wild West Boys! April 21st, 2010 at 7:44 amThey are great, but the closest I ever came to anything like that was a competition between two other teachers and myself while we were bored by writing kids reports. We had a dictionary and closed our eyes, opend it up to a page and then pointed with a pencil and the word that we pointed at had to be used in some way in the report. Can’t remember what my word was and how I got it into the kids report, but I remember that one of the other teachers got a comment from the principal about his word – we all had a quiet chuckle!!
by Sabine April 22nd, 2010 at 7:18 amMaybe the comment from the principal was because he didn’t know the word, Sabine
by Lori Armstrong April 23rd, 2010 at 7:37 amWith my clever/obnoxious comebacks, I experience a lot of that sarchasm you mentioned.
by Terri April 23rd, 2010 at 6:38 amWell, at least you admit it, Terri!
by Lori Armstrong April 23rd, 2010 at 7:36 amThese are fantastic. I always say that I wish I was witty and quick like my husband but :sigh: I am not.
This one had me laughing hysterically – 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. - Mostly b/c I am from a family of Oysters
by Aly April 21st, 2010 at 7:52 amAly – I get a huge kick out of my Jewish friends throwing words at me I’ve never heard…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:14 am[...] More Than Words Blog Post [...]
by Lori Armstrong » Blog Archive » More Than Words April 21st, 2010 at 7:55 amThanks, I looking forward to adding some of these words to my comments.
by Shelly Wegand April 21st, 2010 at 7:56 amYes, Shelly, I’m trying to figure out a way to work some of these into casual conversation!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:15 amI love, love, love this! Thanks so much for making me laugh this early in the morning!
by Debra Webb April 21st, 2010 at 7:58 amYou are so very welcome, Debra, and I hope you have a good day
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:16 amThat’s funny. I really haven’t heard or read any of them words, glad you wrote the translation down so I know’em now.
by Sabine April 21st, 2010 at 8:09 amI could tell some german phrases but nothing really special. We used to write or talk in a secret language so no adult could understand us which was cool when you were a teenager and you wanted to talk to your BF about something or someone….
Bad thing for my sister-in-law, she didn’t know I’ve also known this secret language as she talked to her BF infront of me and about me…
Cool words, thanks for sharing Lori
Sabine, I think some things do get lost in translation…and shame on your sister in law for trash talking you!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:17 amthose are funny. my husband is still sitting here laughing.
by REGINA ROSS April 21st, 2010 at 8:10 amSo glad I could brighten your — and the hubster’s — morning, Regina.
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:18 amThose words are great…made me smile.
by Kimberly April 21st, 2010 at 8:13 amGotta love foreploy…so true and I will be sure to use that one.
Kimberly, I wondered how I could use it in my current WIP, but then I figured the copy editor would nix it…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:37 amThese were great! Really needed a good laugh to get the morning started. Just wish I could be as clever with words. Thanks for sharing!
by Debbie D April 21st, 2010 at 8:15 amMe too, with the word cleverness, Debbie, which is why I love to come across stuff like this!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:18 amThanks for the morning laugh, Lori. I about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw the new definition for Pokemon, and Ignoranus was a hoot. I’ll have to use that one. I make up words/phrases all the time, but wouldn’t you know, I can’t think of them this morning. =o\
by B.E. Sanderson April 21st, 2010 at 8:21 amI envy you, and if you remember them later, I’d love for you to post them!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:37 amThat was great. Good way to start hump day!!!
by angela April 21st, 2010 at 8:30 amThanks for stopping by, Angela
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:38 amha, those are absolutely hilarious, love those, gotta share those with my guy, he loves words too!! Thanks Lori, hope you have a great day!!!
by Krista Plott April 21st, 2010 at 8:39 amYou too, Krista, and it’s my pleasure to share someone else’s cleverness with the world
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:58 amwell you certainly already share loads of your own cleverness and creativity in the wonderful books you write !!
by Krista Plott April 21st, 2010 at 12:12 pmAw, thanks, Krista
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:23 pmThese are hilarious. My husband is going to need an inoculatte this moring since he didn’t get to bed until 3. He’s probably thinking about our cashtration reversal which is coming up soon.
by Robin Lang April 21st, 2010 at 8:54 amRobin you get bonus points for using the words in a sentence!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:57 amThese are fantastic! We had great laughs in the office! A couple of favourites: Ignoranus, Foreploy and Inoculatte. LOL
by Michele Adams April 21st, 2010 at 8:57 am0_0
Michele – who says Canadians don’t have the same sense of humor?
Thanks for stopping by!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 8:59 amI loved Flatulance!! Made me chuckle
out loud.
How about this one:
Antiques (said anti ques) – people who protest pool
by Susan R April 21st, 2010 at 8:57 amSusan, you are much smarter than me – great one
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 9:19 amAntiques was my grandfathers favorite word to mispronounce. I just had to come up with the meaning.
by Susan R April 21st, 2010 at 10:09 amOMG, #! is me, me, me. I walked into BB&B yesterday. Even with rebates, sales and discount coupons, I blew a huge wad of cash, and that was just ‘stuff’ — not even a dent in what we need. I dread the ‘real’ cash outlay: new floors, countertops, sinks, appliances, paint, a wall here and there.
But we close tomorrow!
by Terry Odell April 21st, 2010 at 9:02 amCongrats on closing, Terry – and houses are such a money suck, but worth it in the end…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 9:20 am#11 Karmageddon had me on the floor. I was raised by hippies and I swear, I’ve heard this used many times. (Usually when talking about anything from the gov’t to their “crop” not looking so good.)
by Maria V. April 21st, 2010 at 9:11 amHippies, Maria? That one had me laughing too, as I pictured several people I know speaking.
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 9:21 amThey are all so clever, it’s hard to pick a favorite. Perhaps, “ignoranus”: a person who is both stupid and an asshole. I know a few of those.
by Helen Chapman April 21st, 2010 at 9:14 amHelen, that one seems to be a fave so far, I’m thinking because it *does* fit so well and we all can relate – thanks for commenting!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 9:23 amSarchasm is a good one – I liked the first list just a little more, I think. Foreploy is cute too. I love these lists – thanks for sharing them
by limecello April 21st, 2010 at 9:41 amHey, you’re welcome Limecello, thanks for stopping by to comment!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:24 pmCashtration and Circumvent are funny. Actually all of those are funny but those two stick out the most. Oh and Abdicate…LOVING that one
by Christina R. April 21st, 2010 at 9:48 amSee, I could try to come up with something about your use of “stick out” and the subject matter, but alas, not so much creativity today…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:26 pmhaha, I love flabbergasted! Too funny
Thanks for sharing!
by Jessica April 21st, 2010 at 10:16 amYou’re welcome and I love your little icon pic
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:26 pmLoved this! Hubby and I got a great chuckle of the definitions! thanx for sharing!
by Diana April 21st, 2010 at 10:25 amIt seems to be a popular list with all the hubby’s this morning!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:29 pmI loved reading them all, especially Ignoranus! Awesome post!
by Jeanette Juan April 21st, 2010 at 10:37 amI wonder if we could all start using Ignoranus in every day conversations, it might replace “douchebag” in the Armstrong household as a new fave
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:30 pmLove the post. Thanks for the morning humor. My fav: 11. Testicle, n.. A humorous question on an exam.
by Becky Johnson April 21st, 2010 at 11:26 amFunny, Becky, my college girl said the same thing!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:27 pmOh, how I wish I were more clever with words! Thanks for sharing these–how sad that the first thing I thought was, “Wow, that’s a really different definition of ‘pokemon’ than my kids have!” And avoiding caterpallor is one reason I cut most apples before we eat them!
by Fedora April 21st, 2010 at 11:29 amthose were hilarious!!
I have to say that if i met you at a party and found out you owned 30 thesauruses, i would be your instant fan and follow you around like a puppy.
by Sophie Littlefield April 21st, 2010 at 11:38 amHee hee, I love me some books with LOTS of words — and I cannot wait to hang with you at RT next Friday, Sophie, during our panel and afterward, of course, that’s after you win the Edgar Thursday night!!! I’m rooting for you
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:28 pmSmother-in-law… He’s 40something years old. He doesn’t need you to ask “do I need to move, can you see out the window?”.
Such creativity =)
by Catherine April 21st, 2010 at 11:38 amCatherine
Catherine, that one is AWESOME!!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:31 pmLori, love this! Okay some of my faves:
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. (No idea why this struck me as funny)
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. (Yes! I have a relative or two who never get it. Ever)
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (Hoping I can order this next time I’m running late).
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. (So don’t want to do this–ever!)
This was fun!
by Jen Lyon April 21st, 2010 at 11:46 amPreaching to the choir, Jen, with spending the day eating things that are good for you…as I’m distastefully eyeing the broccoli that’s part of “lunch” today. Sigh.
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:33 pmI’d like to read your story..I like mysteries, that’s why I belong to 2 Mystery Book clubs.
by Jackie Wisherd April 21st, 2010 at 11:50 amI’d love it if you gave either of the mystery series a try, Jackie – thanks for your comment
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:34 pmoh, god, I love all of these. My husband does this a lot–I’m going to have to start writing them down.
Whoa, 30 thesauruses? Dude, I’m in love.
by Toni McGee Causey April 21st, 2010 at 12:33 pmSee, Toni, write them down and submit them to Mensa and next year you can post the list!
My favorite part of self editing after I’ve finished a rough draft is piling ALL my thesauruses on the bed and looking up a better word or phrase…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:35 pmThese are great! I loved numbers 9 and 10 LOL. Loved them all!
by Quilt Lady April 21st, 2010 at 12:38 pmMe too, and I am hard pressed to come up with a favorite, although foreploy is a certain frontrunner…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:37 pmHere’s one I thought up this morning:
by Mr. LGA April 21st, 2010 at 12:53 pmNostradumbass – someone who thinks they know what’s going to happen in the future, but really doesn’t have a clue.
You are clever, honey, and thanks again for sending me the list – you’re the best – smooch.
Now get back to work
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:36 pmThese are pretty funny. No way could I come up with something like this. LOL Really liked 4 seeing as I’m from a small town area in MO.
by Alicia L. April 21st, 2010 at 12:56 pmAlicia, I still love Jeff Foxworthy’s — You might be a redneck…because they are so dead on for those of us in rural America
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:39 pmIt took me a minute to get back to your site because I had to quickly email these to everyone I know. Thanks for sharing.
by Donna April 21st, 2010 at 1:06 pmShare and share alike, Donna! Glad it warranted a forward.
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:38 pmI love these…what a clever idea. I’m wracking my mind trying to come up with some clever concoction but my mind is coming up empty.
by Anna Shah Hoque April 21st, 2010 at 1:09 pmAnna, mine too. Must be the day, huh?
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:39 pmOMG! ROFLMAO!!!!!
I had a $h!tty day yesterday and this morning wasn’t much better and then I finally get the chance to catch up on my regular blogs. I laughed so hard I scared the dogs AND the cat! Thanks for this, I needed it!!!
by Silver James April 21st, 2010 at 1:30 pmSilver, you are so very welcome, sorry about the shitty day, I had one yesterday, and I’m glad these words brightened your day a little, I always love to read your comments — they brighten my day, so I”m happy to return the favor
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:41 pmAwww. You’re gonna make me go all red in the face and stammery and stuff. *blush*
My day is looking infinitely better at the moment, due in part to you.
by Silver James April 21st, 2010 at 2:33 pmThese are great, Lori. I like foreploy.
Now I’m trying to come up with a new one…
by Laura Griffin April 21st, 2010 at 1:31 pmAt least you’re willing to try, me? Not so much – post it if you think of one
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 1:42 pmArachnoleptic Fit (n..): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
I’ve done this a few times….now I know what to call it! LOL!
All of these are great!
by annalisa mck. April 21st, 2010 at 3:17 pmMe too, Annalisa!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:50 pmHi Lori, those were funny. If anyone put those in a sentence to me , i would look at them with a look with a “what the…?”. LOL
by Cherylnne Jurgens April 21st, 2010 at 3:19 pmCherylnne – that’s why I say we start using them! make them part of the everyday vernacular!
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:51 pmThose are great. I loved the Pokemon definition.
by CrystalGB April 21st, 2010 at 3:19 pmFunny mental, picture, huh?
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:51 pmSometimes I make up words but it comes from my brain moving quicker than my mouth.
by Barb Hill-Kidd April 21st, 2010 at 3:27 pmMy daughter did that the other day, mixed two words that sounded similar, and we laughed. Sadly, I cannot recall what two words were so hilarious to us
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:52 pmROFLOL, I needed a good laugh! Like you, I can’t come up with these things . . . my husband is much better at this than I am.
by Allison Brennan April 21st, 2010 at 3:55 pmMy hubby posted, Allison, yours should too!
Come one, the Brennan reputation is on the line…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:53 pmThis is my favorite from the list……
13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
And I wish I were creative enough to come up with these. The only creativity I have is when it comes to curse words. A new one comes flying out of my mouth in the blink of an eye.
by Joder April 21st, 2010 at 4:48 pmMy curse words usually aren’t very inventive, but I’d rather use the real word than a fake word that sort of means the same thing…
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:54 pmForeplay and circumvent made me laugh the most.
by Fiona Trickett April 21st, 2010 at 4:48 pmIm only 26 and teenagers make me feel old with some of the new phrases they come out with and i have to ask what on earth they are on about
Fiona – my daughter sometimes speaks in text language – BRB – I’m like…can’t you just tell me you’ll be right back?
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:55 pm8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.– Bahahaha! Love that one! All of those were to funny, though! Thanks for that!
by Chelsea B. April 21st, 2010 at 5:10 pmYou are welcome, Chelsea – sometimes I do have the capability for higher brow humor, but not always
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:56 pmI love this word Beelzebug and the new definition for coffee. I was I could but I’m not clever enough to come up with any.
by Sherry S. April 21st, 2010 at 5:10 pmdon’t you love the word inoculatte too?
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:57 pmLori, those are awesome. I love learning new words. My dad would give us a new word at dinner and by dinnertime the next day we had to use it in a sentence at the table.
I subscribe to dictionary. com and get a new word every day in my email.
by Jill James April 21st, 2010 at 5:46 pmJill, I used to get the Webster’s word of the day and I loved playing the daily word game. I unsubscribed when they went to paid advertisements before you could even play the game.
I do miss it though. I still have a file of words that I’d never heard of
by Lori Armstrong April 21st, 2010 at 5:59 pmThanks sooo much for this list. LOL at the house, kids looking at me like I am crazy. This put a smile on my face. thanks…
by candy rose April 21st, 2010 at 7:25 pmGlad to be in the smile making business today, Candy!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:03 amthanks I really needed a laugh
by Terri April 21st, 2010 at 7:55 pmYou’re welcome, Terri, thanks for stopping by!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:04 amI love foreploy. I know several men that word discribes totally.
by Connie April 21st, 2010 at 7:56 pmConnie, and they usually think they’re being clever, too…
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:05 amWOW those were great. I loved foreploy. LMAO so funny.
by Foretta April 21st, 2010 at 7:56 pmForetta, maybe that strikes a chord with so many of us because we have romance in our book, both as writers and readers…
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:06 amthanks love your books first time seeing your blog. def be back
by Carol B April 21st, 2010 at 7:57 pmLove to hear that Carol, we here at MSW would love to have you back!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:05 amLOL LOL LOL LOL loved reading all of them. My favorite was coffee. HAHA
by Tammy April 21st, 2010 at 7:58 pmThanks for commenting, Tammy!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:07 amThanks funny read.
by Patti April 21st, 2010 at 7:59 pmPatti, you’re welcome
— thanks for coming by!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:08 amMy daughter talks to me on the computer game that we play in a chat room and I always have to remind her that I do not understand her computer language. LOL I don’t think it’s English. LOL is about the only one that I know. Ha Ha
by Carol April 21st, 2010 at 8:10 pmCarol, I’m getting more adept at the texting language, but some escapes me.
I do know they get into trouble if they use it in school papers…
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:09 amGreat interview! This were real crazy but I like this one best: Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
by Takyra Morgan April 21st, 2010 at 8:10 pmTakyra, glad you could swing by today -
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:09 am7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
Was my favorite. Though, I laughed through the whole thing.
Isn’t it sad that this is about the only great thing about today?
by Barbie April 21st, 2010 at 8:20 pmI have days like that too Barbie, so I’m glad this brought you a smile
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:10 amI’m having flashbacks to when I was in school and we would talk in all kinds of codes so that the adults wouldn’t understand what we were saying. If you asked me to do it today I would just go, Huh. And this is coming from someone who carries a dictionary in her purse. Thanks for waking my brain up.
by Leni April 21st, 2010 at 9:36 pmLeni, you carry a dictionary? That’s cool. My purse is definitely big enough I could carry one!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:11 amI love words too and enjoyed the clever new word suggestions! I love writers and wish I had the confidence to put pen to paper for more than schoolwork and e-mails!
by Angie Malone April 21st, 2010 at 10:42 pmAngie, maybe some day, if you still really want to write after you get through your educational obligations, you will put pen to paper!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:12 amI love this post! Thanks, Lori.
My fave: 2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
by Karin Tabke April 22nd, 2010 at 12:33 amYeah, Karin, I bet we both can name…oh, tons of people this moniker fits to a “T” ~
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:12 amActually, there isn’t any “Mensa Invitational,” but The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, “decafalon” isn’t a one-letter change from “decathlon,” is it? Or “caterpallor”?)
Much better to see the the current Invitational — every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We’ve had more than 600 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Saturday in The Post’s Style (features) section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30 Eastern time. There are neologism contests regularly, but also lots of other sources of humor as well.
For example, here are the top winners of our March 20 neologism contest: Every word had to include a block of three consecutive letters of the alphabet — backward.
Flingpong: Having your own affair to get even with a cheating spouse. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
Burpon: Carbonated whiskey. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)
Zyxzag: Path created during a DWI test when the cop makes you walk 20 steps while reciting the alphabet in reverse. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Intellectual DCbility: The newly revised term for “governmental retardation.†(Kevin Dopart, Washington)
As for other kinds of humor, the newest results (April 10, 2010) are for wry definitions or descriptions of things or people in exactly 10 words.
Among the winners:
La Leche League: Front organization dedicated to promoting the kindness of human milk. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Elin Nordegren: Had Tiger by the tail. Now has a different grip. (Cy Gardner, Arlington)
Thesaurus: Language reference to help people find exactly the wrong word. (Ron Averyt, Severn)
Historical revisionism: Now the past has been torched by a new generation. (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)
Advice: Opinions sought to confirm the correctness of our bad ideas. (Russell Beland, Fairfax)
Amnesia: A mental condition that, for all you know, you’ve experienced. (Russell Beland)
See the rest of the winners and learn how to enter the current contest at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can become a fan of “Washington Post Style” on Facebook (go to facebook.com/wapostyle ) and you’ll get a link to the Invitational when it’s posted. I hope you become a regular reader and maybe even a regular entrant.
Best,
The Empress of The Style Invitational
The Washington Post
by The Empress of The Style Invitational April 22nd, 2010 at 1:35 amThanks so much for the heads up and the links – and for stopping by our blog!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:13 amLori,
Just what I needed this morning. These are hilarious! I will definitely have to find uses for a few. Then sit back and watch the confusion as it sets in.
What I find most interesting though is your “sickness” for dictionaries and thesauruses. It’s good to know that not everyone relies on the www for their needs. Some things just can’t be found in electronics.
by Cynthia N April 22nd, 2010 at 5:45 amCynthia, the thesaurus in MS Word is okay, but it’s nowhere near complete, and it would suck if that were my only source of words. So yeah, I”m happily an addict
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:14 amThe first list had me rolling. I’ve had to copy and paste to my middle son…he loves words & twists like I do….I remember finding foudroyant (if I remember how to spell it correctly)and how excited I was! Thanks for this great list!
by Ivy April 22nd, 2010 at 6:54 amPS…after winning the first in the RR srs. I bought the rest @ mybookstore…love them & Mercy is on my tbr list..
I’m so glad my hubby shared these with me!
And I’m thrilled you liked the RR books so much you bought them all – YAY!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 7:16 amMy favorites are sarchasm and willy-nilly. I cannot wait to read your next book. All of your books no matter what name you write under are on my auto to buy list.
by Desiree April 22nd, 2010 at 10:25 amThank you so much, Desiree, I’ve had a less than fun morning, wrestling with these characters, so I’m happy to know you appreciate them!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 11:11 amDarlkink – A sweet russian woman with a hidden kinky side.
by Miranda April 22nd, 2010 at 2:04 pmGood one, Miranda!
by Lori Armstrong April 22nd, 2010 at 3:13 pmI like willy nilly!
by etirv April 22nd, 2010 at 6:24 pmThanks for commenting
by Lori Armstrong April 23rd, 2010 at 7:38 amHey Lori,
by Zina April 22nd, 2010 at 10:17 pmThese had me cracking up which is good as I’m pretty brain dead at the moment.
How about
Sillyishous- something that is silly and delishous at the same time.
Zina
Good one, Zina!
by Lori Armstrong April 23rd, 2010 at 7:39 amSocial comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by authorterryo: RT @murdershewrites More Than Words http://bit.ly/bI9nry...
by uberVU - social comments April 23rd, 2010 at 1:45 amLorelei/Lori is correct. It’s amazing how we all have the same words at our disposal and how creative people are at changing them around or adding different letters. I love how we’re all so different, but yet the same. Congrats to the winner in advance.
by DJ April 23rd, 2010 at 2:21 amLori/Lorelei’s right. It’s so amazing how we all have the same words at our disposal and how people can take them and twist them into something that’s just so ingenius. Love # 1, 3, & 6. Made me grin from ear to ear. The creative way people think is just mind boggling. We’re all the same and yet, we’re not. I love it. Congrats to the winner in advance. And thanks for posting this. It totally made my day.
by DJ April 23rd, 2010 at 2:26 amYou are welcome, DJ – and I am still bowled over by some people’s creativity…
by Lori Armstrong April 23rd, 2010 at 7:40 amLOL LOL It’s great to be laughing so hard I’m in tears, this early in the morning. lol lol
by Carol L. April 23rd, 2010 at 5:56 amCircumvent did me in lol lol lol
Thank you so much Lori. I am now going to share this with everyone I know because they have been so grumpy lately.
Carol L.
Lucky4750@aol.com
Maybe it’s the weather, Carol, with the grumpiness, but I’m glad you got a chuckle out of it!
by Lori Armstrong April 23rd, 2010 at 7:41 amThe Flabbergasted one really made me laugh LOL
by Moran April 23rd, 2010 at 3:13 pmOh dear, I guess I am flabbergasted every time I step on the scale!
by Debbie Lary April 24th, 2010 at 2:39 pmOMG! I was visiting your website and saw that you also write as Lorelei James. I’ve read all of your Julie Collins mysteries and many of your Lorelei James and had no clue you were the same author. Totally stunned. They are SO different except maybe a barren lands/countryish setting.
Very funny definitions, I’m going to have to pass it around to my father and friends.
Thanks.
by Anne April 29th, 2010 at 2:09 pm