Murder She Writes

Yesterday Deb posted about gardening (no planting until after Easter!) and starting a new book, and that sent me into a dizzying spiral of thoughts that ended up with me concluding that 1) Deb is a genius and 2) I have been going about this writing thing all wrong.

I have written five books in the last two years (I’m turning in the fifth on Thursday) and I thought I had figured out the whole process. Was feeling a little smug about it, actually, and I figured that by now I was a certifiable expert.

More like a certifiable nut, as it turns out. Remember that old definition of madness – doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Well, that pretty much sums up my approach to every new book. I come up with a vague concept. Think about it for a few weeks while walking the dog and  brushing my teeth. Consider doing some research but watch funny animal youtube videos instead. Steal ideas from my critique group when they aren’t paying attention. And then…put the pedal to the floor and GO.

The fact that this works at all is a testament to my sheer hard-headedness, I believe, since it’s the literary equivalent of watching a few old episodes of This Old House and deciding to renovate a barn with a roll of duct tape and a box of staples. And some glitter glue. And yet, never underestimate the power of determination. Because even though my “preparation” is, let’s be honest, one step up from using THE HERO’S JOURNEY as a coaster for my tumbler of scotch and calling it a day – it actually works.

For the first two-thirds of the book.

And then I turn into a sobbing mass of insecurity and it takes a Family Size bag of Fritos Scoops, a tub of french onion dip, and a month of rewrites before I get the thing on track again.

Now let me switch gears a little and tell you about my roses.

When I moved to California from the frozen northern Chicago suburbs twelve years ago, there was dead branch sticking out of the ground in the flowerbed in front of the house. I meant to dig it up, but the move and the kids kept me busy, and suddenly it was April and the damn thing popped out buds all over its homely limbs. “Hmmm,” I thought, and then I got distracted again until oh, early June when I went out to get the paper one morning and it had turned into a rosebush. And not just any rosebush, but one which my kids dubbed Big Mama after it reached eight feet tall, covered with enormous shell-pink blooms.

Suffice it to say that I turned almost overnight into a rosarian. I learned everything there was to know about choosing, planting, pruning, and encouraging them. I looked forward to the Jackson Perkins catalog like it was Penthouse Letters. I spent the kids’ college fund on six perfect bare-roots for a sunny spot out back.

But most important of all, I learned the Tau of roses: it’s all about preparation. The annual rose journey starts with that stick in the ground. Pruned properly for my zone, it’s a humble thing, a foot tall with just a few limbs in a vase shape, dead and brown. The leaves and prunings from prior seasons are cleared away, and the soil fortified with fertilizer and Ironite and coffee grounds and a layer of mulch. Dormant spray oil is followed, as the early growth appears, with zealous nit-picking or, in this case, aphid-picking. Gallons of coyote urine and fish emulsion are sprayed and sprinkled and only after the neighbors are circulating a petition to get you kicked off the block for your olfactory offenses does the day come when the first perfect bloom opens and it’s all worth it.

You can skip all these steps and your bush will still bloom, at least in Northern California, but what you’ll have is the floral equivalent of my usual first drafts: adequate for a while, and then an undisciplined mess. There is nothing sadder than an overgrown, underblooming, sucker-infested August rosebush – unless it’s an overwritten, underinspired, cliche-infested plot resolution.

That is why, on Friday when I begin my next book, I am going to try something new. I’m considering doing some actual preparation. Plotting. Character development. Research (gasp! – as noxious as coyote urine, for sure). Reading in the genre. I’m hoping all this well-meaning discipline will keep me from my usual eleventh-hour panic (pass the Fritos!)

So, let’s talk gardening, just because it’s Spring. What’s in your garden? What do you covet? What have you accidentally killed? And for fun, I’ll choose on commenter to receive a copy of my pal Jennifer Haymore’s newest release, A TOUCH OF SCANDAL – which just happens to have a rose on the cover!

just for fun - me and Junior with a tree I grew from a little bitty twig

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Wherever you are I hope you’re enjoying the absolutely gorgeous weather we’re having! Here in northern Alabama we have glorious sunshine and perfect, perfect temps. The March winds keep the chimes on my porch playing their lovely melody. The smell of freshly cut grass is in the air. I am so ready to plant my perennials and to add a few new shrubs (much to my dear husband’s dismay!). But my momma had a firm rule—you never plant perennials before Easter. So I’m patiently waiting for the weekend to come and go for that part of our landscaping. We’re also plotting the vegetable garden. We had great success with last year’s.

Many things are changing here at home. The warmer weather is helping me to stay motivated about getting in shape. Last year’s nasty hail storms have prompted the need for a new roof (much to my insurance company’s dismay!). As much as I know I’ll hate the mess for a few days about mid-month, I am thrilled to be getting the roof of my choice! When you buy an old house it comes with a roof of someone else’s choice. The color and style of this one wasn’t really to my liking, but there was nothing wrong with it and we had far more pressing issues to resolve so we kept the roof. I can’t wait to see those rustic black architectural shingles go up. Also we’re converting our massive attic into living space. It’s very exciting. My husband is a true genius! The other two floors are 95% complete. The final trim is going in. In a few more days we’ll be down to the finish painting. I CANNOT WAIT! The older daughter and hubby are happy as clams in Mississippi and younger daughter and fiancé are still working hard in nursing school. And we’re all planning next year’s wedding for the younger daughter! Who knew it was so complicated? My older daughter got married at a courthouse and then called mommy to inform her!

Changes are never more clear to me than they are during this season. It’s as if the world around me is awakening and old is new again and there are lots and lots of new  beginnings. Spring is my favorite time of year. The cold of winter is fading and the heat of summer is still a ways off. But it’s the digging in the dirt and watching my plantings mature and thrive that really makes me happy. It’s kind of like planning a new story. There’s something magical about all the possibilities. So this spring I’m plotting a new series. My Colby Agency series (DON’T FORGET TO PICK UP YOUR COPY OF COLBY JUSTICE!) is marking its tenth anniversary this year with six releases (books 37-42). The time and the pages have flown. The idea of starting something new makes me a little giddy. I haven’t put pencil to page yet, but I’m planting the seeds in my mind to see what sprouts. I’m hoping this will be a long running series (at least 12 books) with many sexy, tough-as-nails heroes and equally terrific heroines. I plan to include a group of about five central characters who will show up in most of the stories. I can scarcely stay focused on my WIP! But, until I finish the WIP I’ll just have to be content with tossing out a seed here and there.

We’ve talked about series before but as I launch into a new one I want to visit the subject again. To hear what entertains you most about your favorite series (books or television). What aspects do you love most and like least? What brings you back for every book/episode? If you’re a writer, what aspect of writing a series do you enjoy most? As a reader, do you prefer a standalone story each time with a new hero and heroine and just a thread of a subplot running through that relates to a recurring character? Let’s get down and dirty and dissect the concept! And don’t worry, this new series isn’t replacing the Colby Agency series I do for Harlequin Intrigue. There’s lots more to come from the Colbys!

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I feel a rant coming on—it’s Monday and time to stir up some trouble!

What’s the fascination with “the other women?” Unless you live under a rock, you’ve all heard the Big Scandals, first with Tiger Woods and then Jessie James.

Hmm, a high priced sports star, and a bad boy marrying money, misbehaving…yeah, no REAL surprise there, right? They think they can and should get away with it. In short, they are boys not men.

What I don’t get, is public/media fascination with the other women. The women these men cheat with. I’ve heard some women say they believe there’s a “sisterhood” an unwritten code that one woman doesn’t poach another woman’s man.

My answer? There would be nothing to “poach” if the man had some integrity.

And by the way, for the twits who say, “But I didn’t know he was married!” Listen up, lame brain, I have zero interest in golf. ZERO. And I knew Tiger Woods was married. So I don’t buy it. That just proves how reality-challenged or intellectually-challenged you are.

Yes I am that harsh. And I consider the women irrelevant. They are interchangeable. Conquests. Notches on the bedpost.

They are not women that the King of England would abdicate the throne for. Not a soul mate or love match. This is not a romance novel and if it was, I wouldn’t read it because adulterous heroes (or heroines) don’t work for me.

So what is the fascination?

Is it because many of these women are looking for a PAYDAY? That the real reason they are sniffing around these men is for money and/or fame? And we captivated by them using the famous men for their own benefit?

Here’s what set me off, a link to this article that Gloria Allred is The Woman Behind the Other Woman Yeah, I know this is the Internet equivalent of supermarket tabloids, but let’s just say I was doing some research and came across this article. It’s totally plausible, yes?

Anyway, the article says about Gloria representing the other women:

“The woman gets results, and now those results come with cash. She — allegedly — got Rachel Uchitel a million dollars. Who knows how much she’s negotiating for Josyln James?

Payday! A million dollars! Now I must first get over laughing at the schmuck who—ALLEGEDLY— paid it to her. Because what good did it do? More women crawled out of anonymity, dragging his tattered reputation through the slime, to get their piece of the money/fame pie.

But it’s not just Gloria, all the talk shows vie for these women, people are talking about them, digging into them, making them household names.

One of my personal favorites is the ‘host’ of a show professing sympathy for Sandra Bullock, then spending the rest of the show making the “other women” famous. That’s sympathy?

I don’t know, is it just me scratching my head and wondering why were all so fascinated? Is it just me feeling a bit nauseous by this?

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Congratulations to this week’s WINNERS!!! at Murder She Writes:

We’ve got a winner of HUNT HER DOWN and MAKE HER PAY: It’s comment #12 by April Renn. If April will please email Rocki at roxannestc @ cfl.rr .com (No Spaces!) with her snail mail, she’ll have the books shortly.

And for Allison’s winners–ORIGINAL SIN goes to Aly (Comment #18) and COMING HOME by Mariah Stewart goes to Comment #29 Mariska! Also, both of you get to pick a friend to send any book in my backlist (list is on my website) so please email me your snail mail address AND a friend’s name, snail mail address, and your choice of book for them to allison @ allisonbrennan .com (no spaces!)

Thanks everyone for playing this week and helping to make MSW such a fantastic blog for writers and readers! Have a great week

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I was inspired a few weeks ago to write this blog, and was reminded of it by Edie Ramer’s blog the other day over at Magical Musings, and also by a guest blogger there yesterday. 

The video Dare to Suck really hits the heart of the matter.  We all suck at whatever it is we endeavor in the beginning.  And it’s ok.  It’s normal.  And we’ll continue to suck  if we don’t make the regular concentrated effort to improve.  There’s that 10,000 rule that takes you from sucky to superior. Practice makes perfect.  There is no such thing as perfection, you say?  Maybe, maybe not, but that’s just an excuse not to strive for it.  If you had to guess, how many hours have you invested in your sport, hobby, job or education?  Say from late teens to now?  10,000 hours?  That’s almost 40 hours a week for nearly 5 years.  That’s a lot of time perfecting one single skill.

Now let’s go a step further:  How do you practice those 10,000 hours?  Dabble, just running through the motions or really digging in and practicing at a higher level?  The deep practice is what separates the gifted from the proficient. (Check out http://malcolmgladwell.com/ for a deeper explanation.)

I came to learn about the 10,000-hour rule a few weeks ago at an all day RWA chapter workshop.  Guest speaker, and life coach, Koren Motekaitis, http://howshereallydoesit.com/ who was amazing, spoke and touched on this 10,000 hour rule as a model for becoming a better writer.  She really got through to me.  On many levels. 

When one of the attendees raised her hand and said, “I practice my instrument everyday, why is insert name of musician heree so successful and I’m not?”

That’s when Koren tapped into something so profound for me, I am still shaking my head.  Profound in that it all clicked when she explained it. Profound it that I let go of so much crap I had been holding onto.

So here was Koren’s response to the above question, (paraphrasing) “How does that person’s business affect yours?”

The attendee sat there for a long minute then said, “It doesn’t.”

“You’re right it doesn’t.  That’s their business, not yours.  Focus on your business and your business only.”

Hello!  I know this! 

But it gets better!

Koren stepped back and explained that there are three types of business in the world as we know it: the universe’s business, i.e. the weather etc.  We have absolutely no control of the universe’s business.  No one does. If it’s freezing outside we have the choice to stay outside and freeze or go in inside where it’s warm. Bitching about it won’t change it. We cannot change the universe’s business. 

Secondly, there is everyone else’s business, business that is theirs to deal with, not ours, no matter how much we care about them or want to butt in.  Everyone is in charge of his or her own business. 

The only control we have is of the third and most important business: our own business.  When we sit around and wonder why everyone around us it more successful we’re wasting precise time and energy.  That’s their business, it has nothing to do with our business.  If we want success, we have to put in the 10,000 hours and then put in the overtime hours.

I jokingly asked Koren how the hell I was suppose to butt out of my children’s business!  We had fun going round and round with a current dilemma of mine that involves one of my adult kids and she was able to boil it all down to this:  I may not like the choice my child maes but she has to live with it, not me.  Ugh!  Hard to swallow but it’s the truth. 

I came away feeling revived and very focused on continuing with my writer’s journey and surpassing the 10,000 hours, but more importantly, focusing and centering on what in my life I can control: and there is only this: I can only control me and what I do.  If the universe has other plans, I’m screwed.

So, have you put in your 10,000 hours?  And how do you manage to keep out of other people’s business?   Or do you? 

K*

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Catholics aren’t supposed to be superstitious. (I can hear a lot of you laughing out there, because the Irish are mostly Catholic and the Irish are very superstitious!) I suppose it doesn’t help that I’m Irish Catholic. :/

Writers also tend to be a bit neurotic. Some of us never read our books after they are published. Some of us have little rituals in the morning to help lure the muse out of hiding. Some of us simply write off our entire career as rubbing the right lucky shamrock at the right time when all the moons are aligned.

I don’t know any writer who doesn’t feel that what they are writing is the worst drivel on the planet. Self-doubt is part of this business–I think all creative people doubt their talent because the final product, be it a book or a movie or a painting or a song, is subjective. Some people will love it. Some people will hate it. Also, we feel guilty (or maybe it’s just us Irish Catholics who feel guilty, though some of my Jewish friends say their mothers have the market cornered on wielding guilt as a weapon.) Why guilt? Because if we LIKE the book we’ve written, is that too arrogant? What gives us the right to deem our novel worthy?

I have a few more chapters left of my page proofs for CARNAL SIN, which I need to FedEx this afternoon. Reading the page proofs is the last time I’ll see this book before it is printed. And now I’m scared. Because I really like this book. For those who know me, I tweak extensively in the page proof stage, cutting repetition, changing words, sometimes adding or deleting whole paragraphs–sometimes even adding in an entire scene! But not this time. I’m being hypercritical of everything because I like it. I really, really like this book–and I’m terrified that I’m going to jinx it. That if I LIKE the book, everyone else is going to hate it. Or worse, that I’m blind to the story’s flaws.

The same goes for my career. When someone congratulates me on my success, I want to say, “Don’t jinx it!” Instead, I’m gracious and smile and say, “Thank you.” Because what do you really say to that? Every writer is crawling up the side of an hour-glass, and once you start on the upslope, you’re hanging on only by the sheer force of your will, your perseverance, and even a little luck. Talent matters, but talent isn’t the ONLY thing that matters.

Three months and CARNAL SIN will be on the shelves. No matter how well it does, or doesn’t do, I know I wrote the best book I could write at the time. And really? That’s all any writer has control over. The story on the pages.

I’m giving away books! A copy of ORIGINAL SIN, book one of the Seven Deadly Sins series and a copy of COMING HOME by Mariah Stewart (I thought I ordered two copies, but I ordered three from Amazon, so I have an extra! My mom gets one.) And the two winners get to pick a friend to win, too! Those friends will win any title from my backlist, your choice! Just post a comment, any comment. But what I’m really interested in today is your superstition. Do you throw spilled salt over your shoulder? Avoid walking under ladders? Do you have a special ritual when you write? What about before you fly or go on a car drive?

Other than my fear of jinxing myself if I expect something good to happen, I have a little superstition related to gambling. Long ago, I won $500 at Craps in Lake Tahoe. That day, I’d played Roulette for the first time, right when I walked into the casino. Now, I can’t go to a casino without playing Roulette first because I have this subconscious belief that it helped in winning Craps (though I lost $20 on Roulette.)

And now, you’ll be the first to see the cover for CARNAL SIN. Drum roll please . . .

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Anyone with children is familiar with that phrase.

What astounds me is the number of…adults I hear using that lament. As much as I love hanging with writers in person and online, sometimes in group situations, or even one on one situations, there tends to be focus on the negative in this industry. Everything from — “Can you believe so-and-so got another 3 book deal? That last book sucked!” To — “I heard he/she’s a year late with the manuscript, how come they keep issuing him/her contracts? The books aren’t even that  great.” And lastly — “Did you see what she/he said on so-and-so’s blog/review site/yahoo group? What a Prima Donna. That will lose her/him fans for sure and they deserve it.”

Sound familiar?

I hope not.

That said, I’m not blameless. I like being “in the know” and I have those “It’s Not Fair” feelings sometimes, but mostly, I suck it up and move on. Mostly, I’m happy for people who are even moderately successful in this crazy business, even if they’re not my bestest buddy. That’s probably another reason why I don’t publicly review books, not on good reads, not on shelfari, not on any of the book vendor sites. I have my opinion. Ask me and I’ll usually share it with you. But to slam a book, or worse, to rate it poorly because of the “It’s Not Fair” attitude seems…petty, mean and shortsighted. How many of us have had another writer pen a poor review of our book? Or even worse for me, a mediocre review? How hard is it when you thought that person was your friend? Too much politics and second guessing for me, so I skip it entirely. Maybe it smacks of the ostrich mentality, but hey, it works for me.

So today, let’s revert to our inner six-year-old and share what you think is unfair (funny please, no political views!) I’ll throw in a prize — any title of the Lorelei James backlist, either in print or download form!

1) It’s unfair I have to use wrinkle cream AND zit cream on the same day

2) It’s unfair I spent $11 washing my car and it rained TWO hours later

3) It’s unfair my hair looks awesome the day I’m going to the salon to get it cut and highlighted

4) It’s unfair I sat next to the little girl being tested for swine flu at the lab when I was waiting for blood work

5) It’s unfair that some people can write a bajillion words a day on their WIP and I struggle with typing “Chapter One”

6) It’s unfair that I have turkeys all over my yard and have to listen to them mating 24/7

***added*** It’s not fair that Facebook DELETED the Lorelei James account yesterday because they think I don’t exist and I was spamming people, when in actuality, we were trying to get my friends to move to a Lorelei James Fan Page — argh — so now I’m forced to try and convince them, yes, I really do exist, but Lorelei James is a pen name and I’m not a spammer!!***

READY, SET, GO!!!

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Last week, I wrote two synopses for two different books.  In four days.  Oh, I know what you’re thinking.  This girl knows how to have a good time.  Seriously, is there anything we writers despise as much as the synopsis?  This particular document is, sadly, a fact of life at almost any level in a writer’s career.  If you are just starting out, chances are you write the book before you write the synopsis.  But in order to pitch the product and sell the manuscript, you have to distill your story down to a bite size piece so someone can decide if they want to request or read your manuscript.  The size of that bite varies.  Sometimes one page, sometimes ten, sometimes 20.  It depends on the editor, agent, line, phase of the moon. 

How tough can this be?  I mean, you’ve written the book.  You know what happens.  Just tell the story, and follow some simple rules which are plastered in various form all over writer’s sites on the internet.  Easy peasy. 

Uh, no.  Unless you enjoy sucking the life and adjectives to tell (not show!) the emotional impact of 400 brilliant pages, chock full of three-dimensional characters, twisty plot points, gutwrenching emotion, blistering hot sensuality, and a multi-layered story arc that drags a reader on a journey of love, danger, and ultimate heroic transformation. In less than ten pages, and in present tense.  No, it ain’t easy.  It ain’t fun.  It ain’t no better than getting a root canal and colonoscopy…simultaneously.  There’s a reason writing workshops that promise to teach the secrets of a successful synopsis are SRO at Nationals. 

But the game changes after you “sell on spec” – meaning you haven’t written the book but a publisher has so much faith in you, they give you a contract without a finished manuscript.  What they buy is the idea, or the possibility of your idea.  However, a significant portion of your advance remains firmly in the publisher’s bank account until you’ve turned in a story synopsis, which an editor approves before you write a single word.  Sometimes they call this an “outline” or “story concept” but I still call it “hell on a stick.”  Because now you have a premise, maybe a little more.  You have some characters, a setting, a bad guy, a few ideas of how this book will unfold.  For most of us (this is where I am in my career) that means “telling the whole story” (or a good deal of it) before it’s ever written. 

How difficult that that be? I mean, you just sit down and tell the story as it unfolds. 

Except, if you’re anything like me, you might know what’s going to happen, you just don’t know how until you get to that page.  So, basically, all I can write is some version of:  “a lot of really bad and scary things happen and while they are trying to escape danger, a lot of really hot and sexy stuff goes on, and just as they are about to figure out they love each other, some more really bad stuff happens and it looks like the heroine is going to die and the hero will have to save her and together they kill the bad guy, and realize they love each other more than life itself and live happily ever after.  Oh, and did I mention this story will laden with emotion and angst, humor and irony, and all manner of conflict?  It will be.  Trust me.”

Amen. 

Can you believe that most editors won’t accept that?  In my experience at three different New York houses with multiple editors, they want a leeetle more than that before they part with the cashola.  My editors want backstory, character descriptions, motivation, conflict, a turning point or four, character arcs, and at least a glimmer of when the love scenes will occur…after all, they’re not going to hand over that money without some assurance that they want to publish this book.   But when you give them details  - like what possessed a character to behave a certain way even though you’ve yet to fully flesh out that character so for the sake of the synopsis you totally yank a faux motivation out of thin air – the story has a snag in it.  Snag is a technical term that I’ve heard repeatedly in publishing. It means “something in your story didn’t make sense and we don’t trust you to figure that out while you’re writing, so change the whole thing.”  I’ve been snagged.  Oh my God, it hurts.

Then, when the publishing gods are really good to you (or you’ve reached a certain level or you’ve been with the same editor for eons or you’re just really blessed with a trusting editor – as in the case of Shiloh Walker, who blogged about this very thing  yesterday), a writer might not have to write a synopsis anymore.  You give them a “big idea” and the PTB say “Write it, my child.”  But, before you get to chapter five, sales needs an outline so they can have a cover conference and start working on the back cover copy.

How hard can it be?  It’s cover copy, right?  You know the names of the main characters, their goals, motives, and conflict, right?  You know the tone of the book, the key turning point that sets the story in action?  Sure!  Except that can all change in revisions four months later.  And that cover copy?  Still has the heroine’s old name.

Yet, I managed to power out two major synopses this week.  One was a bear that almost killed me.  One was (brace yourself) quite possibly the most fun I’ve ever had at the computer.  If I could figure out why, I bet I could sell that secret and make lots of money.  I’d even tell you right here, right now:  “Do X, Y, and Z for a perfect synopsis writing experience.”  And I’d be lying through my pearly whites, because sometimes there’s magic at the keyboard and sometimes there’s misery.  Like the synopsis, this is a fact of a writer’s life.

So, I’m giving away books instead of advice. One title for each synopsis I wrote last week.  Leave a comment and one winner will receive a set of autographed Bullet Catchers – Hunt Her Down and Make Her Pay.  (Unless you’d like two different Bullet Catchers…I can be very accommodating.)  Writers, tell us your thoughts and feelings about the synopsis.  (No four-letter words, please.  Oh, all right.  Some four letter words.  Karin’s here, after all.)  Readers, feel free to tell me to quit bitchin’ and start writin’.  Winner selected randomly and announced, as always, on Sunday.

And now that I’ve written the synopsis, I have to write Chapter One.  A whole different kind of hell.  I know what you’re saying.  You’ve done the synopsis, how hard can Chapter One be?  Don’t ask.  That’s another blog.

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