 | 27 Jan 10 |
My best friend from high school, who I hadn’t seen for 20+ years, popped in for my book signing in Sioux Falls last Saturday. I knew she was coming, as a mutual friend who had no idea we knew each other (yes, South Dakota IS a small state) set it up in a round about way.
I looked at her, this woman who knew so much of my history, and I of hers, a girl/woman who was so important in my life for so many years…well…when we really saw each other, we both sort of burst into tears. Once we composed ourselves, we talked a mile a minute, like we used to. Laughed like we used to. And although we have different lives that have taken us in surprising paths (however, she reminded me that I wrote two solid pages in her senior yearbook, so she always knew I was “wordy”) we’ve grown up, gotten older, sprouted a few gray hairs and the start of wrinkles, when I was with her, it didn’t feel like 20 years had passed. Nothing had changed, even when everything had changed.
I’ve been mulling this over in the past few days, how thankful I am for another chance to rekindle that friendship. I’ve made friends over the years. I count people I’ve met online among some of the best friends I’ve ever had. Sure, I’ve lost track of people in my life, some intentionally, some not, some I rarely go beyond the fleeting “I wonder what ever happened to?” thought. Especially since I’ve never bothered to go to a high school reunion even though I still live in my hometown. And since my grandparents and members of my husband’s family have died, we’ve somehow severed even more connections, to people and places. Sad, but some times there is no choice.
Thanks to Facebook people are re-establishing those ties. I’m a late-comer to Facebook, I just joined in the last month. I dragged my feet for a long time, even after everyone and their dog told me how necessary it is for promotion. That part? I get. But I have little desire to connect with people from my past. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I don’t care, but because I *do* care. Because I am one of those people who feels the need to respond to every person single who contacts me. Right away. God forbid anyone ever thought I’d gotten snooty over the years. I swore that I’d curtail my online hours in 2010. I’d focus on spending more time with flesh and blood friends and family I’ve neglected.
Yeah, I hear you asking how that’s going. Not like I’d hoped.
During my travels in the last few weeks, I’ve realized I’m not ready to own a crackberry, I have no self-discipline and I’d never get any work done if I had access to email/the internet all day long. However, I’m now part of the twitter community. Facebook is addicting. I can see how cool it is to have people ask and care about what you’ve been up to since the last time they saw you — be it 20 years ago or 20 hours ago.
I’ve also stuck a toe in the tweet world. I had fan pages set up for Lorelei James and Lori Armstrong (which still is too bizarre to comprehend). I’ve accepted every friend request, because again, I don’t want to be impolite. But nothing beats meeting face to face. My BFF and I exchanged phone numbers and email and we’ll stay in touch online, but I cannot wait to sit down with her, over a beer, and pick up where we left off.
What’s the best reconnection you’ve had with a person from your past either via Facebook or by chance?
**Slight self-promotion** I”m going to be signing books in Tucson, AZ tonight at Clues Unlimited (and I’ll be seeing my good buddy J. Carson Black!) at 7:00 and Thursday night in Phoenix, AZ at the Poisoned Pen at 7:00. If you’re in the vicinity, come on out, I’d love to meet you!
© 2010 Lori G. Armstrong. All rights reserved.
Lori G. Armstrong left the firearms industry in 2000. Her first mystery novel, BLOOD TIES, published in 2005, was nominated in 2006 for a Shamus Award for Best First Novel by the Private Eye Writers of America. The second book in the Julie Collins mystery series, HALLOWED GROUND, released Nov. 2006, was nominated for a 2007 Shamus Award for Best Paperback Original, a Daphne du Maurier Award and won the 2007 WILLA Cather Literary Award for Best Original Softcover Fiction. SHALLOW GRAVE, released in Nov. 2007, was nominated for a 2008 High Plains Book Award, a Daphne du Maurier Award and was a finalist for the 2008 WILLA Cather Literary Award. The fourth book, SNOW BLIND, released in Oct. 2008, won the 2009 Shamus Award, from the Private Eye Writers of America, for Best Paperback Original. Lori is a proud fourth generation South Dakotan and lives in Rapid City with her family.
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Lori, it sounds like you’re having a blast! Recently an old friend I haven’t heard from in about twenty-five years discovered me on facebook!
by Debra Webb January 27th, 2010 at 8:27 amSorry these responses are late–I just NOW got internet access.
Debra, I am having a blast
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:04 pmLori, first of all, have a *great* time in AZ! Wish I could come out and say hi! And I really got what you were saying today. I was very, very shy about reconnecting with high school friends on facebook. My whole family left the area shortly after I went to college and I lost touch with everyone. But a wonderful guy that I didn’t know very well back then took it on himself to “rebuild” our class via FB and it has been such a gift to see what happened to everyone and to get in touch with some people I used to know. I am hoping that at some point I’ll get back to my home town for a visit – it’s half a country away – and then I hope I’ll get to reconnect in the way that you describe. Keep enjoying your travels!
by sophie littlefield January 27th, 2010 at 11:20 amSophie,
I hope you make the trip back to your hometown at some point. I never really left my hometown — only briefly — but it amazes me how many people I don’t see who still live here too…then again, when you don’t leave your house much, like me, it’s difficult to run into old friends
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:06 pmI actually hooked up with a bunch of jr-hi/hi school friends via one special friend who set up a Yahoo group where we can keep connected.
I’ve found folks on Facebook (same friend insisted I join), and it’s fun to catch up, but those encounters have tended to be brief.
by Terry Odell January 27th, 2010 at 11:51 amI keep mine brief too, Terry. Even briefer than usual the last few days when I’ve been without internet access.
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:07 pmI wish I were in Arizona!!! Hey, are you coming to California anytime soon? Specifically, NORTHERN California?
by Allison Brennan January 27th, 2010 at 12:30 pmI’d LOVE to come to Northern CA, Allison! I’ll probably be at Bouchercon in SF in Oct.
Congrats on your new release!! You are EVERYWHERE (yeah, I’ve been in just a few bookstores the past 3 weeks, lol)
My hubby joins me on tour on Monday, and you know how much he loves finding your books in out of the way places – like Chugwater WY – so we’ll keep you updated
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:10 pmOh, I wish I was in AZ so I could buy you a beer.
I’ve found quite a few old high school friends online, and a few from college. I think the best that ever happened was that one of my dearest friends (she was my maid of honor, I was her matron of honor) reconnected via the web… though I think it was more that she saw a blog post of mine and commented, and we started catching up and found, like you said, that in spite of so much changing, nothing had changed at all. I love her dearly and I’m glad to get the chance to know her again.
by toni mcgee causey January 27th, 2010 at 12:43 pmI wish you could buy me a beer in LA – my hotel has a rooftop pool with a killer view of the city
And hearing about the way you reconnected — much like I did with my friend — just proves you and I are a lot alike and I ain’t ever losing track of you!
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:12 pmLori, my FB and Twitter are under my pen name, so that limits my “reconnecting.” But it was cool to link up with someone from my very first critique group long before I was published.
I’m impressed that you are managing all your social networks! I’m a horrible, guilt ridden slacker.
by Jen Lyon January 27th, 2010 at 12:49 pmJen, hon, I seriously doubt you’ve EVER been a slacker.
I still haven’t listed my maiden name on Facebook…and good god, I did not do any of the sign up/hook up/connecting social network stuff by myself. I had an expert help, and I am so grateful!
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:14 pmLori,
by Laura Griffin January 27th, 2010 at 4:50 pmI bumped into a friend from middle school in the airport recently, and it was the weirdest experience. I was walking past this guy and I thought “that looks just like so-and-so, except older and heavier.” And of course, it was him! I haven’t seen him since before we were old enough to drink, and now we’re both grown with families. Time marches on…
Laura,
That is funny, any chance you’re keeping in contact with him? I saw a guy at the rodeo I used to date, and wow, the years have not been kind to him. I wouldn’t have recognized him if someone hadn’t pointed him out to me!
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:15 pmLori,
Just wanted to tell you how much I loved your new release NO MERCY. Hopefully, I won’t have to long a wait for the next book!
by Mary January 27th, 2010 at 6:52 pmYAY Mary, thanks so much for letting me know that you enjoyed the book.
Hopefully, if I hit my deadline, the next book will be out this time next year!
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:16 pmI actually found a bridesmaid from my wedding on Facebook, or she found me. I had been wondering what had happened to her and haven’t heard from her is over 15+ or maybe even 20 years. She found me on facebook. Was neat to sort of catch up.
by Tiss Treib January 27th, 2010 at 6:56 pmHave fun on your trip.
Tiss,
I’ve lost track of my maid of honor too, but I’ve heard through the grapevine she lives in Pierre…
And yes, it’s much warmer in SoCal than it is in SD right now
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:17 pmGive Jake a big hug for me!
by Karin Tabke January 27th, 2010 at 9:32 pmI gave her a couple of hugs, and it was awesome having dinner with her!
by Lori Armstrong January 30th, 2010 at 10:18 pm