 | 26 Jan 10 |
Whether it is cute, sexy, embarrassing, unforgettable, conflict-rich or sparking like a live wire, I love that magical moment when gazes lock and toes curl and rational behavior is trumped by irrational hormones. This obsession started long before my romance writing career, probably a result of being well and truly single throughout my twenties, so how Boy first meets Girl became a passion of mine as I kissed all those frogs in search of my prince. Was he hiding in the supermarket? At a business meeting? In line, online, or under a rock? As it turns out, my beloved was in an elevator, and when those doors opened on the fifth floor and he was standing there, it’s fair to say the bottom dropped out of my world.
Even today, I like to ask married friends how, where, and when they had that momentous first encounter, and every week I peruse the wedding announcements in the Sunday New York Times, drawn to the longer columns that include a recap of how the couple met.
This is probably why “the first meet” is both completely fun and wildly challenging for me to write. It’s also the point in other people’s books where they either sell me or lose me because I judge a book not by its cover but by the power of a great first meet.
Recently, I threw a question to the twitterverse to ask how people met, and the responses were such a blast to read. Someone started a hashtag to follow the conversation (you can check it out at #1stmeets, if you’re a twitterer) and I spent a day or so immersed in some of the best first meets, every one worthy of its own HEA.
Agent Deidre Knight met her husband when he was awakened by her laugh and had to get up (and, we will assume, get dressed) and head outside to find out who was making that noise…and proceeded to fall in love. Border’s Romance Buyer Sue Grimshaw confessed it was her honey’s tight shorts in aerobics class that caught her eye…nineteen years and many sit ups ago. My author friends had great stories: Louisa Edwards met her main squeeze in a stage play where she played the wife, and he the husband. In the course of the play, she hated him, murdered him, and was sent to the Chair. Mr. Louisa is so glad life isn’t imitating art.
Author Shannon Stacy was a waitress, and her beloved was a coffee counter regular. (Extra sugar and your phone number, sugar!) Tessa Dare was in choir, singing “Go Tell It On the Mountain” when cupid shot his arrow, and our own MSW regular Terry Odell snagged her UCLA Bio Teaching Assistant, giving me a few memories of UCLA TAs I lusted after. There were scads of college romances, blind dates, post-elementary school reunions, several secret boss/underling affairs, two other lucky elevator riders, and the occasional steal from a friend. (Including the ever popular: we were on double date, but he wasn’t mine…)
Great stories and I thank everyone who played my game. I admit my motivation was a little selfish, though. I’m always looking for first meet ideas for my books. When I reach the page in my manuscript when I need my Boy to meet my Girl, I know I’m in for a tough writing day. (Or writing week.) This scene, whether the characters have known each other in the past or are strangers encountering one another for the first time, sets the tone for the entire book. Will there be fireworks or a slow burn? Delicious banter or pauses thick with unspoken emotion? What will he notice first…her eyes, her body, her actions, or, like Mr. Deidre Knight, her infectious laugh? Whose point of view will have the most impact on the reader? What actions will show their true character? Will there be deception, dismay, or disgust? How quickly will there be lust, and how long can they wait to act on it?
My guiding principle for a first meet scene is simple: there are three people in this love affair, so the reader has to fall over that precipice of love as well. It’s no wonder that my first meet scenes can take days to write, but are often my favorite long after the book is finished. When I look up at my “wall of covers” a few things jump out at me for every book: the hero, the HEA, and the first meet scene. My personal favorite? No surprise there – an elevator meet in my first Silhouette Desire, Like A Hurricane. (The elevator doors open for the hero, and he finds his future love dangling out of a ceiling panel, attempting to fix a broken cable. Fortunately, he’s a leg man.)
Let’s talk first meets – real life and fiction! Where did you meet your spouse? Or, what’s your favorite fictional first meet? One commenter will win an out of print, first edition (don’t get excited, there was only one printing!), autographed copy of Like A Hurricane. Not many of these around…and I promise a wild ride on the elevator!
Roxanne St. Claire is a bestselling, RITA-Award winning author of twenty-four novels of romance and suspense. For the past several years, she's been writing a popular romantic suspense series called “The Bullet Catchers” for Pocket Star Books, featuring a cadre of bodyguards and security professionals. In 2010, she's launching a new series, "The Guardian Angelinos" focusing on an extended family of renegade crime fighters and investigators based in Boston. The first book in that series, EDGE OF SIGHT, will be released from Grand Central Publishing in November, 2010, with two more scheduled in 2011. In addition to the RITA, her books have won the National Reader’s Choice Award, the Daphne Du Maurier Award, the Maggie Award, the Booksellers Best, the Book Buyers Best, The HOLT Medallion, multiple Awards of Excellence, and Borders “Top Pick” for Romance in 2007.
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At a college football game. I was there with an older-brother-type. He was one of the roommates and switched places so he could sit beside me. He said it was “love at first sight.” It took me a little longer, till half-time. I’ve loved the man–and the Gators–ever since.
by Leigh Duncan January 26th, 2010 at 7:41 amAlready I love these stories! Married in four months, Deb!?
I’m writing this from the jury summons room – am on Jury Duty today. (Good place for a first meet!) So I may not be able to pop in as often as I’d like, but keep those stories coming! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 9:08 amAt my father’s 50th birthday party. I saw him across the room (literally) and thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. I thought I would die before he asked me to dance. When he did, well that was it. He was the man I married four months later and we’ve been together for 35 years!
by Debra Webb January 26th, 2010 at 8:05 amFirst meets are so fun to read. One of my favorite fictional ones was in Jennifer Crusie’s FAST WOMEN, in which the heroine goes in for a job interview (with the hero), completely botches it, but gets the job anyway. Anyone remember that scene? It’s hysterical.
by Laura Griffin January 26th, 2010 at 9:08 amJennifer Cruise’s first meets are always amazing. So much voice and humor every time!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:04 pmI twittered mine but can add a bit more to the story:
It was a week before classes started at University of Michigan and we were both there early for Marching Band practice. One day during practice his music blew away and one of the staffers handed it back to me, so he came over to get it. I was smitten almost immediately.
So much so that I wasn’t even turned off when he criticized my instrument (a cornet, similar to a trumpet, but smaller) and said I needed to come to his dorm room and borrow one of his old trumpets because you just can’t march with a cornet.
We didn’t start dating until 4 months later, but we were married within 2 weeks of my graduating, which was nearly 14 years ago now.
by jenifer January 26th, 2010 at 10:32 amOh, the old you need to come to my dorm and see my large instrument line, huh? Well obviously it worked – love that! Thanks for sharing!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:05 pmHe was visiting his best friend from high school, who lived in the apartment upstairs from me in an old Victorian house. I’d taken in a stray cat who’d caught a mouse and wanted very much to give it to me…it was following me around the apt with this live thing dangling out if its mouth! I ran upstairs hoping my neighbor would DO something. It was his friend who came to my rescue, took the cat outside, and talked it into giving up its catch. Thirty-one years and two kids later, he’s still my hero (last week convinced our daughter’s Jack Russell that the rabbit she’d caught was…uh…not going to play with her anymore…).
Mariah
by Mariah Stewart January 26th, 2010 at 10:53 amA game of cat and mouse – perfect! Thanks for the story, Mariah! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 28th, 2010 at 6:55 amMy husband and I met in the parking lot of the apartment complex we both lived in. It was not a particularly romantic introduction. I’ve always been partial to the initial meeting between Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler, with her throwing bric-a-brac in Ashley’s library.
by GSM January 26th, 2010 at 10:58 am“Whoa, has the war started?” GREAT first line. Sigh. Rhett. Last night my daughter (12) told me she’s ready to read it (I read it at 11!) so I took my ancient copy down from it’s place of honor and read a few lines of GWTW. What a story! And, yes, a magnificent first meet. Thanks for reminding us of it!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:07 pmGreat idea to feature first meetings-I firmly believe in love at first sight since it happened to me! Lasted 60 years and he was still my Darling Companion
. I’d have gone with him but I wasn’t invited (yet)
by Jackie Griffey January 26th, 2010 at 11:11 amJG
SIXTY YEARS, Jackie! Good for you! What’s the secret to your success???
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:07 pmOh those NYT wedding stories…worth the price of the paper, IMHO. I try to keep up my image of the crusty cynic on the outside but the truth is that a sappy meet can undo me. And being around couples who’ve been together a long time is magic.
Recently I was at a writing even with a couple who write together, raised kids together and still have a great time together. I was starting to ask the wife a question – don’t even remember what it was – and I got as far as “Are you – ” and she filledin “still in love? oh yes…”
by sophie littlefield January 26th, 2010 at 12:11 pmHave you ever noticed that most of the couples in the Times kind of look alike? I’ve been meaning to blog about that, because 90% of the time they resemble each other in some odd way. LOL on the finished sentences. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:09 pmI met my husband at the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon (Jerry Lewis). We were both volunteers. My friend said he was flurting I said no he’s just being nice. Five minutes later he came back over and asked for my phone number.
We were married a year and a half later. In May it will be 20 years. We have 5 kids.
by HollyD January 26th, 2010 at 12:20 pmHolly – five kids in 20 years is quite an accomplishment. We’ve been married 20 and three more kids might have done me in. Love your first meet! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:09 pmHi Rocki
Fun topic and question!
I met my husband at the shipping/receiving door. I was in retail and he was our UPS man. 17 years later and I have my own personal “package delivery man”.
=) !
Catherine
by Catherine January 26th, 2010 at 12:38 pmAnd what a package he had!
Sorry, couldn’t resist. C’mon, we all love our UPS guy, right? Congrats! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:10 pmIn sixth grade. Not kidding. But we didn’t marry until 15 years later. By then it was right for both of us.
by Carol Kilgore January 26th, 2010 at 1:18 pmI will not tell my daughter, or else she’ll be planning her wedding with every cute guy in middle school! Good for you! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:11 pmI met my husband at work in a factory! I wouldn’t have anything to do with him at first, but he didn’t give up! We have been married for 25 years now!
by Quilt Lady January 26th, 2010 at 1:58 pmThere’s something about a man who won’t give up! That’s hero material, Quilt Lady! Enjoy him! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:12 pmI met my husband at a Halloween party. He wasn’t cookie cutter cute, but was rugged and handsome and hot and every girl in the place was flirting with him or eyeing him. He was dressed like a bum (for his costume) (little did I know those were his real overalls!)… but I knew I wanted to date him when there was a kissing booth and the gorgeous blonde chick who was giving away the kisses at 25 cents a kiss was blushing when Carl whipped out a dollar and waved it across the room, heading for her. We hadn’t met yet, but I thought, “Damn. That’s him.” Several other girls sort of joked that it was supposed to be their turn in the kissing booth.
He asked me out three times before I said yes–not because I was playing hard to get, but because each time, I had a real conflict.
He tells me he knew I was the one when he met me at the door to my house. I’d given him poor directions and he’d gotten lost and when I opened the door, I was grinning and enthusiastic and gave him a big hug. (He also says the tight green sweater I had on was a big plus in my favor. He loved that sweater.)
I knew he was the one later that evening when he was cooking for me and he stopped a moment mid-sentence and kissed me. It was The. Best. Kiss. Ever. I think we were both a little dizzy afterward and he held onto the kitchen counter and said, “If that gets much better, we’re both in trouble.”
We were talking about marriage two days later.
We were married inside of three months. 27 years ago.
And yeah, it did get much much better.
by toni mcgee causey January 26th, 2010 at 2:30 pmHoly moly that’s a good story, Toni! I got chills and tears and tummy flutters. You are SUCH an amazing writer! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:13 pmI met my husband online. I thought he was full of himself. He was. With sufficient reason. We went ring shopping about two months after we met. lol It’s been 7 fabulous years! (And he’s still pretty easy to get into a jewelry store.)
by Kristen Painter January 26th, 2010 at 2:43 pmThis is why my husband calls jewelry “lures.” We love HotRod and are so glad he showers you in the diamonds you deserve! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:14 pmLove this topic
I met my husband while bartending of all things. I was in my final year of college. Wasn’t interested in dating, just wanted to finish school. When I first met him he was all bruised up so I thought he was a loser who got in bar fights. Turns out he’d just gotten back from SERE School (He was in the Marine Corps at the time). Took him a couple weeks to work up the courage to ask me out. To make a long story short, I accidentally gave him the wrong number (I swear, I inverted the last two numbers). He was supposed to call me so we could hang out for the 4th of July and I thought he stood me up. He wasn’t sure if I’d done it intentionally but he was smitten and had to find out. He showed up at my work two nights later with that sad little crumpled piece of paper I’d written my number on. When I realized what I’d done, I agreed to go out with him the next night. Three dates later he proposed and eight months later we were (and still are) married.
by Katie Reus January 26th, 2010 at 2:51 pmLove that, Katie! Great story. I hope you still have that paper! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:15 pmI do. It’s totally lame, but I keep that little piece of paper in our safe
by Katie Reus January 29th, 2010 at 6:07 pmI can’t contribute much more, since my hubby and I are still together 40+ years after that first meet. I have to admit it wasn’t one of those immediate “he’s the one” moments, but it grew and held up.
by Terry Odell January 26th, 2010 at 2:52 pmHe’s obviously The One – forty years is twice as long as I’ve been married, and you gotta really love him to stick it out that long. So happy you found him – Go Bruins!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 3:16 pmI first saw my husband when we were 15. He was tall, gangly, but so handsome eith his yellow blonde hair and large green eyes and the longest, thickest eyelashes I’ve ever seen (which all my sons have). He was too busy playing chess to do any more than ask me if I’d like to play. I was too shy. Next time we saw each other it was as 17 year olds and college sophomore/freshman. It took another two years until we finally had our first date–that was all we needed. It was love at first date and for me first sight four years earlier. We’ve been together ever since–43 years, 41 married. I totally believe in love at first sight, because that’s how it was for us–me at 15 and him at 20, when he finally noticed me.
by Barbara Maller January 26th, 2010 at 3:56 pmLove At First Date – there’s a book title for you! Great story, Barbara! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 4:41 pmI had a love at first sight/college/elevator first meet
I was riding up to my floor in the dorms on my first day, and there was a long haired guy in the elevator who rode up with me. He introduced himself and then we got out at the same floor. (Love those co-ed floors in the dorms!) I was already in lust w/him, long hair and all (hey – it was the 80s!) and apparently he felt the same way.
We’ve been together ever since, and are celebrating 25 years together.
Family history involves love at first sight. My folks met on a blind date arranged by my aunt (Dad was not too pleased, and did a lot of eyerolling about it). Mom was still in college. They married 4 months later. They were married 45 years when my dad passed away.
I’m terrified my son, going off to college in another year, will fall into the family tradition and meet someone right away. How hypocritical is that?
by Lori January 26th, 2010 at 4:50 pmWonderful story, Lori! I love the “love at first sight” gene….OMG I feel a contemporary romance coming on. Congrats to you. Keep your son home! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 6:57 pmNot married, no first meet.
My favorite fictional first meet? A LOT LIKE LOVE. You know, the movie. He goes to the bathroom in the plane and she just follows him there. That kinda rocks. Wouldn’t call it romantic, but it’s cool!
by Barbie January 26th, 2010 at 6:14 pmThat could be verrrry romantic. Barbie, my darling, you are in the enviable position of not yet having that First Meet. It is ahead of you, around a corner, behind a closed door, in the next line, on the subway, at the library, in a class….on an elevator. We all envy you, baby! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 6:59 pmMy cousin met his wife on a flight. She was a flight attendant and he was a passenger. Definitely an interesting way to meet a spouse.
by Jane January 26th, 2010 at 6:26 pmCoffee, tea or me? I bet I’m dating myself with that expression! (I was FOUR, I swear, when that book came out.) Thanks for sharing!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 7:00 pmHi Roxanne
by RKCharron January 26th, 2010 at 6:59 pmThanks for the fun post!
I met my ex wife at a dance when we were both in high school. It was love at first sight for me. We have three beautiful wonderful children as a result of that first meeting.
I also REALLY love your advice on writing a fist meeting. I hadn’t thought of it in that way before, with the reader as the third person.
All the best,
RKCharron
It’s often difficult to remember that there’s a “third” in a love story…but that reader is the only one who matters. She’ll buy your next book. Thanks for sharing, RK!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 7:02 pmMy university dorm room looked out over the ballfield. He was playing second base and I could barely see him, but couldn’t take my eyes off him. He just got better close up when we finally “happened” to cross paths on that ballfield…twenty years later, I love that I knew his chest when there was barely any hair there, and now there begins a few stray grey ones sprinkled throughout it
by susan January 26th, 2010 at 7:53 pmOh, Susan! Mother of baseball player here. You made me teary with that post! So happy you hit a homerun with your second baseman! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 7:57 pmOk, please don’t tell my husband this, but the first time I was aware of his existence we both worked for the same company, and I saw him slam his hand in the door of his truck and thought, “what a dork!”
by Karin Tabke January 26th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 10:40 pmThe computer ate my *snort* – very funny.
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 10:41 pmI met my husband when we were in the 7th grade in junior high. He was a nerd and I was flat-chested, alas we were not destined to be together. Flash Forward many years, I am at my first job and his father who worked there too arranged a blind date not knowing we knew of each other from back in school. He showed up in his cop uniform to ask me out and I was lost. There is just something about a man in uniform! Ahhh!
by Jill James January 26th, 2010 at 10:39 pm“I was lost.” Yep, that says it all! Ahhh. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire January 26th, 2010 at 10:42 pmMy husband and I lived within 50 miles of each other all of our lives, but it wasn’t until a month after my high school graduation that we officially met. I like to think that someone was looking out for us and waited until we were both ready for each other to throw us together. We knew within weeks that it was something special!
Thanks for the post, Roxanne! I love first meets, too
Amber
by Amber Leigh Williams January 26th, 2010 at 10:48 pmMy grandmother used to say “there’s someone for everyone” and it sounds like you found your someone, Amber! Thanks for sharing!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 29th, 2010 at 11:27 amWell, when I 14 I was at a ball game and I saw a boy that filled my stomach with butterflies. He was talking with a cheerleader and she appeared to be fussing at him and he was kinda looking annoyed and bored.
by Stacy Stewart January 26th, 2010 at 11:04 pmThe next day at school I asked a friend of that cheerleader, “who was that boy with Melanie? Is that her boyfriend?” She said, that’s Sam and they have kind of been dating, but it is nothing serious. Well, I promptly said, “she better be nicer to him or some other girl is going to take him away.”
I made it my mission to walk past one of his classes and smile at him.
The following weekend my friend asked me to go to the movies with her and her boyfriend. She mentioned that her boyfriend was bringing a friend. Well, the friend turned out to be Sam and we hit it off immediately. I told my mother that night that I was going to marry that boy and she said, “Stacy don’t be so dramatic, you’re only 14.” Of course she was right at 14 that is crazy talk, but I married Sam and we have been married 17 years and he still melts my butter.
Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. I think that is why I love romances, because I’m living one and I know that true love and soul mates exist.
Stacy
The heart wants what the heart wants. Love that!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 28th, 2010 at 6:54 amI met my husband when he was a security trainer/instructor and I was a student undertaking his course. After the course finished, we had a long discussion and hit it off. This resulted in a first date and I moved in with him 3 months later. We’ve been together for ten years now. And yes – it was instant attraction for me, from the moment I first laid eyes on him.
by Angie Trianta January 27th, 2010 at 3:30 amI met my husband at a mutual friend’s Christmas party. He was home from college and I’d had a few beers…so I sauntered up to him and asked him: Where’s my Christmas kiss?
We’ll be married 25 years in July
He was the best Christmas present ever!
by Lori G. Armstrong January 27th, 2010 at 10:45 amI haven’t met mine either, but had to chime in on the “First Meet”. This is my parents story and it’s a story that still makes me get goosebumps.
My mom was 20, my dad was 21 and they went on a blind date. My mom was nervous, got drunk and ended up throwing up all over my dad. Heh.
It’ll be 36 years in June.
And though I’m 33 and VERY single, I could never settle for less because I know that real love does exist out there and that one of these days (preferably sooner rather than later.
), I’ll have my own story to tell. Here’s hoping anyway. 
by Bridget Locke January 28th, 2010 at 11:21 pmOMG Bridget, I loved that story! Thanks for sharing!
by Roxanne St. Claire January 29th, 2010 at 11:26 amAnd I forgot to add, my parents met and married in less than five months. It was definitely love at first sight for both of them.
by Bridget Locke January 28th, 2010 at 11:22 pm