 | 10 Nov 09 |
It’s so good to be home! Earlier this year I was invited by the fabulous Nina Bruhns to teach a couple of classes at the Low Country Romance Writers Retreat. It was an awesome invitation–the kind you can’t refuse, especially considering as a teacher it was all expenses paid! I decided driving was the best way to make the most of the budget provided. So, at the crack of dawn on Friday, armed with Map Quest directions, I set out for the Isle of Palms mere miles from grand old Charleston, South Carolina. According to Map Quest is would take around 9 hours. Not a problem. I took the interstates which ultimately added about 50 miles to the trip but driving 70 miles an hour make up for the bit of extra ground to cover. The retreat house was awesome. I have to say that I have NEVER stayed in such a beautiful place on the beach. And since my birthday is next week it was so perfect. A private room with an awesome bed and a grand balcony on which to sit and admire the ocean. The lovely ladies in attendance were gracious and so very much fun. It was an amazing weekend!
Yesterday it was time to come home. I have a deadline looming and a family (including three dogs) who missed me. Being the adventurer I am I had decided when printing out the Map Quest directions to use the “off” roads on the return trip. No interstates. I love looking at houses so it was going to be fun. I left the lovely house on the beach around 7:30 and headed into Charleston. The grand old historic homes were breathtaking. And, as luck would have it, Monday was garbage pick up day so I was hurrying around the area ahead of the garbage pick-up truck to see if anything fun had been put on the street. You never know when someone in a historic district will dispose of something historic! After driving around an hour or so (and finding no goodies!), I left Charleston behind and set out for home. It really was a lot of fun taking the off roads. I went through all these great little towns. Saw lots of terrific old homes. It felt so good to just journey across the countryside of this great land.
As night approached I became tired and there was nothing to look at really except a long, winding dark road for which there were only two lanes 90% of the time. Not a problem, I wasn’t in a hurry, right? And long, winding dark roads are good settings for devising murder scenes in ones head. But whether is was the ongoing plotting in my head or the music blasting from the speakers (Akon, Bon Jovi, etc., etc.) somewhere on the western side of Georgia I took a wrong turn. Now, I will take full responsibility for that first wrong turn. I made the mistake. Twenty miles later I realized I couldn’t possibly be going the right way (the SE glaring at me from the navigation display on my rear view mirror might have been a clue). I wasn’t supposed to be traveling south or east at this point). But the stretch of road I was on had NO gas stations or stores and NO houses. And, surprisingly, NO signs. It was just road and trees. I literally had to pull over and flag down a passing motorist to ask where the hell I was at. Yes, yes, the fact that the person driving could have been a serial killer crossed my mind. But I was desperate! He said I needed to be going the opposite direction (which I had pretty much figured out). He had no idea how to get to Huntsville. So I retraced the 20 miles I had driven. Once again I was in Rome, Georgia. I got out my Map Quest thingie and confirmed that I wasn’t supposed to have gone to Rome. Not good. As I studied the steps I had taken I recognized my mistake and took what I felt was the proper route from Rome. Ten miles later I saw a sign that proudly displayed how many miles to Atlanta and it was a smaller number than the sign I’d seen back in Rome. Guess what? This was very bad. I was not supposed to be going toward Atlanta. Huntsville, Alabama, is in the other direction.
Once more I turned around. I back-tracked the distance I had covered. At a gas station a nice gentleman I questioned insisted I was to take this other road which would eventually get me to 68. You see road number 68 was where I had to get to in order to follow the rest of the steps to get home per my Map Quest directions since NO ONE I asked knew how to get to Huntsville from THERE!!!! As God is my witness, I will never leave home on a road trip without an Atlas again! Or one of those nice boxes that sits on your dash and tells you each turn to take.
I took the road as instructed and as I braked at the intersection he told me would be the one I wanted my jaw dropped. I WAS BACK AT THE SAME INTERSECTION I’D BEEN AT MORE THAN AN HOUR BEFORE!!!!! Only not in Rome and it was, apparently, the last place I’d been that was actually on the stupid Map Quest thingie. I took the turn and followed the route Map Quest insisted would take me into Alabama (praise God) and ultimately turn into Alabama-25 and run into 68. I did come upon the sign welcoming me to Alabama the Beautiful and I wanted to jump for joy. But there was never a road sign that said Alabama 25. Finally after driving this long dark road for more than the number of miles Map Quest said I should drive, I pulled over at another gas station and asked another guy if I was going the right way. And where was this elusive Alabama 25 I was supposed to have been on by this point? This man studied the instructions and shook his head. He had never heard of any of these side roads. But he promised that if I continued on that this road would in fact take me to 68. I thanked him and drove onward.
The road did take me to 68. It dead-ended at an intersection where you had no choice but to go right or left onto 68. The Map Quest thing didn’t say whether I was to go right or left much less north or south. There was no sign naming any town in either direction. Afraid to trust my own judgment by that time, I pulled into a gas station and asked. The people I asked weren’t sure. Then I pulled into a CVS and asked the manager. This was a very nice lady who pulled out an atlas. Like the others, she had never heard of any of these little roads. She showed me two ways to get from there to Huntsville. I chose the closest route which kept me on the back roads. Recognizing my state of exhaustion she stepped outside and pointed to the road I should take. She said it would dead end at an intersection and I would be in another town and there would be a sign to Huntsville. I thanked her and drove on into the darkness. The road did lead to another little town and a dead end into an intersection but there was NO sign to Huntsville and since she wasn’t sure what the name or number of the road was I was terrified to take one way or the other. There was NOTHING open except a laundromat. There was only one customer–a Hispanic gentleman who spoke NO english. I sat in my car and ranted a few choice swear words and took the right from the intersection. I drove a few miles and came upon civilization. I stopped at another gas station and spoke to the lady running the place. I was going the correct way and I was about 25 miles from being able to turn off onto 431 (which was not on the Map Quest thingie but I knew 431 would get me home).
Finally I hit 431 and breathed a major sigh of relief. I turned my music back on and tried to relax. It was only 8:15 PM and I should be home around 9:15 or so. As I reached Guntersville I opted to stop one last time and take a “comfort” break. I bought myself a Dr. Pepper in a big 20 oz bottle and climbed back into my Tahoe with complete confidence that I was now good to go. I buckled up, cranked up the volume and set out. I twisted the cap on my bottle of Dr. Pepper and it promptly exploded. Wet, sticky Dr. Pepper went all over me, all over my dash and console. But I no longer had the energy to get angry. I had survived the twilight zone (and Map Quest!) and I was almost home.
© 2009 Debra Webb. All rights reserved.
Debra Webb, born in Alabama, wrote her first story at age nine and her first romance at thirteen. It wasn’t until she spent three years working for the military behind the Iron Curtain—and a five-year stint with NASA—that she realized her true calling. A collision course between suspense and romance was set.
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Debra, I’m glad that you got home safely. Sticky but safe.
And that’s the reason why I have both the MapQuest directions and a road atlas. I double check the MapQuest directions with the atlas then figure out a faster and direct way. I even go as far as highlight the route in the atlas. I hate being lost especially if it’s at night or I’m not familiar with the place I’m going to.
I made the mistake of only grabbing the MapQuest directions and got lost so I went to the nearest gas station and bought a road atlas. I never leave home with a road atlas since you never know if the road exists or not.
by Cassie November 10th, 2009 at 6:01 amSmart, Cassie! I can guarantee I won’t do that again! Imagine, getting lost in Alabama!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 6:09 amSince I get lost in elevators, I normally rely on mapquest, Google Maps, and my handy GPS. And pray there are no detours.
by Terry Odell November 10th, 2009 at 6:19 amTerry, I want a GPS!!!!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 6:28 amDebra: DD#2 works for a company that manufactures silicon computer chips. Their biggest customer is Magellan. She gets to buy 2 a year at a substantial discount, so she gave me mine.
by Terry Odell November 10th, 2009 at 6:45 amIs the Magellan better than the Garmin?
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 7:04 amGift horse, Debra. I’ve never used a Garmin, although they’re certainly popular. Since my Magellan was a gift, I never shopped around. I’m satisfied with it.
by Terry Odell November 10th, 2009 at 7:08 amI’ve gotten lost using my GPS. She has an annoying habit of saying “Recalculating” in the most condescending voice possible.
We were in Charleston over the summer. Loved it!
by Carol Kilgore November 10th, 2009 at 7:46 amMy Garmin’s name is Jack. He is Australian. I never leave home in Drover (my Highlander) without him. I also have an iPhone. I can pull up maps on it. That said? I STILL carry an atlas in the emergency road kit in the back.
Glad you made it back safe and sound. I promise not to hum the theme from Twilight Zone…
by Silver James November 10th, 2009 at 8:17 amHaha! Silver! I a sexy guy voice too!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 9:26 amI would totally dig an accented male voice! I might drive around forever just to hear him talk…
by S. J. Day November 10th, 2009 at 2:18 pmCarol! I know what you mean. My neighbor has one and we went to NYC with it back in May. We gave the GPS a name and it started with a “b”!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 9:24 amFriendly librarian tip: Use Rand McNally for directions, not Mapquest. Patrons always have better luck with it: http://www.randmcnally.com/
by Brandee November 10th, 2009 at 9:08 amBrandee, I won’t travel ever again without dear old Rand M.!
by Debra Webb November 11th, 2009 at 9:20 pmDeb, I impressed! I’d have had a major meltdown. Trying to find the luggage thingie in an airport is a trial for me.
I told my husband I wanted a GPS when we bought our last car. He laughed and said I’d get lost anyway unless he gave me directions. Sad but true. When I drive somewhere I show him the mapquest, he looks at it then clarifies the things that are going to trip me up.
Still I think a GPS with Matthew McConaughey’s voice would keep me company when I do get lost
by Jen Lyon November 10th, 2009 at 9:20 amMatthew would definitely be good, Jen. Yeah, there was one point last night where I considered pulling over and just sleeping until morning to escape the nightmare!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 9:27 amas everyone else has mentioned, deb, a gps is priceless. plus they are easy to use and inexpensive! we have a built in one in the escalade (and a back up video cuz, i um, bump into things) and a portable one when i travel with none gps minded folks.
as far as your fun time in the low country, two of my friends, Virna and Lee were there. They loved it!
i’m glad you’re home safe and sound
by Karin Tabke November 10th, 2009 at 11:09 amThanks, Karin. I think I definitely need at least one navigational assistant!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 12:22 pmDeb – it’s such a scary, helpless feeling when you’re lost. Count me in as one who loves my GPS!
Aren’t those Low Country ladies THE BEST? I did a workshop and speech there a few years ago — but not the retreat, which sounds fab — and made so many good friends.
Glad you made it home safe & sound!
by Roxanne St. Claire November 10th, 2009 at 12:29 pmxo
I didn’t do the retreat either, Rocki. Just a workshop and speech for the weekend part. It was so much fun and such a gorgeous place!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 2:39 pmI was at the beach house just before you arrived for the Masterclass. I was sorry to miss the retreat! I love your books, Deb. So glad you had a great time and made it home safe!
by Virna November 10th, 2009 at 2:18 pmThanks, Virna! Maybe the weekend is called the retreat! I’m still confused and seeing dark, windy roads when I close my eyes!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 2:40 pmI hate getting lost. I have no sense of direction, I would have been totally panicking.
by Jill James November 10th, 2009 at 2:29 pmMe too, Jill. I know exactly what the direction is as long as there’s a sign in front of me. The worst part was to be so close to home and freakin’ lost! It’s kind of funny now but it was frustrating last night. I kept thinking, “This can’t be happening!”
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 2:41 pmI have a story idea about a possessed GPS that gives people the wrong directions and sends them to their death. I refuse to get one. Though Jack might change my mind . . .
My husband relies on GPS and gets mad when it sends him the long way or isn’t clear. if you’re going to listen to a damn computer and do what it says without questioning, expect to be screwed a few times.
I only use google maps. I drove cross country without a map, and back again. Back was easy–I stayed on Highway 50 from Maryland to Sacramento. That was fun
by Allison Brennan November 10th, 2009 at 3:01 pmNext time I’ll definitely try Google Maps!
by Debra Webb November 10th, 2009 at 3:48 pm