 | 14 Oct 09 |
So for about a month, I have been doing this very very weird thing. It’s called “sleeping.” You know, as in lie down, close your eyes, wake up a few hours later all “rested” and stuff? That thing? That thing that I had completely forgotten existed and thought it was simply one of those things that passed once childhood fell away, like running after the ice cream truck or actually expecting a reward from the tooth fairy (and not having to provide said reward).
I was going to say I wasn’t sure when the whole “sleeping” thing stopped, but I suspect it was early on in college. I didn’t want to miss anything, so I would go out with friends, party, then come back to the dorm and try to study, and then still get up to get to my very strict, tough 7:30 in the freaking morning graphics design class (which I loved). (Had that been math? Or chemistry? I’d have slept in.) I started functioning on about three hours of sleep a night, if I was lucky.
Then, not terribly long after that, I met my husband, got married, had a baby, and the entire concept of sleep seemed like a dim hallucination. Luke (first born) screamed for nine months with colic. There wasn’t that much that we knew to do then–there weren’t the solutions that moms have now with some of the medications you can give infants for colic. I’d go days without real sleep, and got to the point of such total meltdown exhaustion, I’m genuinely surprised I wasn’t a soggy, drooling heap of crying human curled up in a fetal position in the corner of the room. Well, you know, more than that couple of times there toward month #9.
The problem was, by the time Luke started sleeping regularly, I’d trained myself not to. I’d gotten so used to sleeping three hours a night, that I just could not sleep longer than that. I would occasionally take about an hour nap in the middle of the day, but that was it. And four hours a day just isn’t healthy. Duh. Still, that’s what I did… for about 25 more years.
Fast forward through a lot of attempts at a lot of different solutions to the one I finally found that fit me last month. A doctor friend suggested white noise, which I think I’d tried once before and had only felt agitated, but thought that surely there had been improvements since then. I wanted to try something before committing, so I found a waterfall recording on iTunes. Now, I just sort of stumbled across this and downloaded it for a whopping 99¢ — it is only 9:15 long, so I set it to loop continuously, plugged my nice soft earphones in and tried it out.
I slept like a rock. Completely zonked out.
Woke up rested. Holy moley, people, this is what normal humans feel after sleeping? I could play every position on a football team with this sort of great energy and alertness. After a couple of days, I thought–hmmm, ya know, I’m not real happy with the looping because there’s a moment of silence at the end of that “music” as it loops back again, and sometimes, if I’ve just drifted off, that moment of silence kinda clicks, I wake up a little, and then it takes another full round to fall asleep. So, being the clever girl I am, I thought, “I’ll go find something that’s an hour long, loop that, and by the time it gets to the looping part, I’ll be sound asleep.” Sounds fairly reasonable, right?
So I find this ocean waves recording, and the album cover even has a photo of a sleeping baby. I listen to the sample that iTunes has and it sounds lovely. Peaceful. So I buy the album, download it, and trot off to bed, confident that I was going to fall asleep even faster.
By minute forty-five, I wanted to commit murder, I was so tense. Seriously. The waves were CRASHING and then CRASHING SOME MORE and then a pause and just when you thought it was safe, there was MORE CRASHING. Holy geez, that thing was stressful. I kept flinching and bracing myself for the next onslaught and how in the world anyone actually sleeps with that stuff is beyond me.
I immediately went back to my silly waterfall and conked out.
Upon further investigation, I had completely lucked up on that waterfall. It’s modulated at 7Hz, and apparently, that’s the sound wave level that helps a person relax. (I am not going to get all technical here because that would require actual research. All I know is, it works.) There apparently were other waterfall sounds from that same album that were modulated at other Hz and were designed for “inspiration” or “creativity” or “jumping jacks.” I may have made that last one up. But the point is, I got lucky. Had I started off with the ocean wave one, it wouldn’t have worked for me and I probably would have written off the whole experiment. The waterfall sounds like a beautiful rainy day to me. No thunder, obviously, but just that slow, steady, soothing rain. Nothing dangerous. For some people, the most soothing sound in the world might be the ocean waves (weirdos) or trains or traffic or whatever is true white noise for you.
[Per the advice of my doctor friend, I also changed my sleeping time back to my original body-clock time, which is very very late in the night/early morning. I am a night owl, and fighting that wasn't doing me any good.]
So, do you sleep? I am here to tell you, it’s pretty cool. Have trouble? Are you one of those terribly lucky people who just lie down and fall asleep? Do you have a routine that helps you? If not, I feel your pain. I’ll be curious if I’m the only night-owl insomniac here. 
(If someone can tell me how to find the link on my iTunes, I can link to it. I can see it on my list of purchased items, but I don’t see a link that I can share.)
Toni McGee Causey lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She and her husband, Carl, are licensed general contractors and, in order to support her writing addition, they run their own company, specializing in civil construction.
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Color me green with envy! I haven’t slept the night through since…October 29, 1986. I’ve tried everything, including rain, waterfalls, soughing wind in the pines, and true white noise (sounds like static to me), pink noise, and brown noise. *sigh* It all just irritates me. LOL
I turn on HGTV and sleep until the infomercials start then switch over to the Cold Cash/Without A Trace reruns. If I had my way. I’d write all night, go to sleep around 6 a.m and crawl out of bed around 3 p.m., and deal with real life then. However…due to circumstances and on account of because, my life doesn’t work that way. *HUGE sigh*
I am pumped that you find something that works for you! Awesome blossom, girl!
by Silver James October 15th, 2009 at 8:52 amSilver, I completely feel your frustration. I hadn’t slept well in so many years, I honestly didn’t know if it was even possible. Fingers crossed that you’ll find something that works for you!
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 10:51 amI’m like Silver, I haven’t slept soundly since Febuary 1987 when I got preganant with my first. He’s 22 today, btw.
by Terri Molina October 15th, 2009 at 10:08 amWith a 16 year old daughter (who has an 11:00 curfew) and a 14 yr old who’ll be dating soon, I don’t see any relief any time soon.
But, my husband has always been an early riser (even took the 6am feedings for the kids–yeah I did the bottles), so weekends have always been my “catch up on sleep’ days.
Terri, I can empathize with the teenager stress. It’s one of those things that does not go away when you’ lie down–in fact, I think trying to lie down for sleep aggravates it, because it’s almost like you’re not being a truly good mom if you are not Vigilant! At All! Times!
I was so glad when my boys finally got old enough to live on their own.
Of course, the oldest kid is a SWAT officer now and the youngest is a fireman, so that’s a whole other stew of worry.
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 10:53 amMight it be this:
by Christine October 15th, 2009 at 10:14 amhttp://www.emusic.com/album/Sounds-Of-The-Earth-Waterfall-MP3-Download/10969688.html
Christine, thank you! I think that’s it. Wait… okay, I just checked the cover art of mine and it’s slightly different, but that one looks like a really good choice.
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 10:55 amWhen I’m not stressed I sleep like a baby. A good night’s sleep makes all the difference in the world!!!
by Debra Webb October 15th, 2009 at 10:17 amYeah, it’s that whole “when I’m not stressed” part that’s so freaking hard to achieve!
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 10:55 amToni, how do you manage to crack me up just talking about sleep? And, I’m with Silver, pea green with envy. Sleep is a HUGE issue for me. I am high strung and given to worry. Plus, my daughter is a very light sleeper who invariably ends up in my bed. Worst of all, my husband snores. Yes, he cooks like Emeril, looks like Richard Gere, and is annually up for the Father of the Year award, but at 3:00 AM when he sounds like an 18 wheeler grinding gears, I am fantasizing about what a lovely widow I’ll make. Or if I’d get the new HDTV in the settlement.
So, the white noise could be a life or marriage saver. I’m going to try it!
xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 15th, 2009 at 10:46 amRocki, you crack me up.
Also, a side effect — Carl has told me that I have quit snoring. As in, completely. I was getting worse and worse (up until last year, he tells me I never snored, but this whole last year, I have steadily been training for Olympic Snoring Championships.) And then I used the white noise and bang, no snoring. I don’t know if it’s because I am in a deeper sleep or what.
Note: I use the earphones, still. Carl didn’t like the white noise that worked for me–he said it just sounded like static. He couldn’t really hear the musical quality of the waterfall, so it made his sleep much worse when I put it on the speaker system I have. I went back to the earphones for just my use.
Which reminds me, I need to go find wireless or bluetooth earplugs for the iPhone that are comfy.
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 10:58 amI haven’t had a full night sleep since I was pregnant w/ our first child and she’s 15 yrs. old.
With 5 kids I can’t use the headphones to sleep so instead the hubby & I use a fan. Even in the winter as long as it faces away from us but it helps. I still only get about 5 hrs. of sleep a night but I’m a late night person and that damned alarm goes off at 6:15 in the mornings so I can start getting kids ready for school.
Roxanne, my hubby also snores like that. When I can’t stand it, I go sleep on the couch.
by HollyD October 15th, 2009 at 10:58 amHolly, yeah, I don’t think I could’ve used what I’m using now when the kids were younger. Apparently, I sleep so deeply with these things, I hear nothing. We had our granddaughter over last weekend and her crib is in our bedroom (she’s 2 and I don’t keep her overnight enough for her not to be scared if she’s in some other part of the house). Well, she woke up that morning at 8 and was singing in her crib and Carl came in and got her and took her to the kitchen to have breakfast and I had absolutely no clue that anything was going on. In fact, when I woke, I didn’t think Carl was supposed to be home that morning and I looked over at her empty crib and had a heart attack–I thought she’d crawled out and was meandering around the house alone! Talk about adrenaline rush. That one scared the pants off me.
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 11:01 amI can go to sleep at the drop of hat. I LOVE naps. But nighttime sleep? Kind of impossible for me. I have a 15 month old 13 pound Maine Coon cat who is thinks I’m his play,ate. Oh, he cuddles up every night on the corner of the mattress (although now he’s been snuggling up to my back) and goes to sleep. Problem is, his playtime is anywhere between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. (usually 3:30 tho) as a Maine Coon he likes to play fetch. He loves the spongy makeup wedges, shoe laces and his favorite? A Dr. Scholl gel sole. Here’s how it goes: He finds his toy, jumps up on the bed and drops it by my head (the ones he has dropped in the toilet get my immediate attention!) while i’m asleep. If I don’t wake up he paws my cheek. If that doesn’t get my attention he nibbles my arm. If that doesn’t get my attention, he applies more pressure. Without opening my eyes I pat the bed, find his toy and hurl it into the darkness. Seconds later, he’s back. When he doesn’t drop his toy near me or i can’t find it in the dark? I have to get up, turn on the light, find it, then chuck it. This goes on for about 20-30 minutes. Then about 2 hours later one of the girls (Coco or Zoe, my shih tzus) has to go out. This always wakes up Baby, the Maine Coon. He wants to play again.
I wake up every morning with a plethora of his toys on my pillow or in the sheets. I have found if I cover my entire body with my comforter, he goes away. Usually to my daughter, who sleeps with the door closed. But since Baby can open every door in the house, it doesn’t matter to him. So she locks her door now. It’s always fun at 4 a.m. to wake up to him trying to open the door. It sets off the girls, and so the cycle begins anew. What you may ask is my husband doing during all of this? Snoring.
So, I sleep when I go on vacation.
by Karin Tabke October 15th, 2009 at 10:58 amYikes, Karin. I have a calico who knows she’s not allowed to come into the bedroom. Even when our door is wide open, she sits right outside the threshold and just stares in. (I am not sure how we trained her to do this. Honestly, we didn’t do anything drastic other than tell her no in absolute, emphatic tones. She’s just that laid back.)
But I must have a talent for that (hmmmm, can that be marketed?)… because I stayed with a friend in L.A. a few years ago and her cat was notorious for running amok and racing over sleeping visitors. Until me. He took one running path over me once and I sat up and told him no, to stop it and go away and he did. I think she was gobsmacked. I never even touched him. But I was seriously thinking, “dead cat” if he did it again. (Not that I would lift a hand against a cat, but the cat doesn’t have to know that now, does he?)
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 11:07 ami can’t say no to my critters.
at the end of the day, i have no one to blame but myself. maybe, one day when it becomes too much i’ll take action. but not today.
yawn. i think i need a nap now.
by Karin Tabke October 15th, 2009 at 12:45 pmToni,
I just read the Dayton Library tweet. Congrats! I was there last night listening to an author who teaches at Wright State Univ.
by HollyD October 15th, 2009 at 11:18 amThanks, Holly. (Wait–what’s your twitter id? I have a bunch of people that I missed out on following when I wasn’t very active over there and I am trying to make sure I’m following friends!)
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 11:20 amYou already do. I’m VioletIngram.
by HollyD October 15th, 2009 at 11:42 amLOL! Man, I can never keep double names straight.
I still call my kids by the wrong names, even when I just screwed up and they just corrected me, and that’s only 2 kids.
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 11:44 amToni, wow! This is great info! I’m going to get this soon. Two things I wonder about:
Do you leave your ipod earbuds in all night?
Does your iPod battery drain?
I can always put my little charger/speaker/doohicky up by my bed if needed.
If this works for me, I will be forever in your debt!
by Jen Lyon October 15th, 2009 at 1:39 pmJen, I leave my earphones in all night, but they are not the iphone earbuds (which are hard, and hurt). They are like these (but black):
http://www.geeksugar.com/1513504
As for the phone, I have a hard case for my iPhone that has a battery built in — it last hours and hours, unless I’m downloading something with heavy graphics, and even then, it’s several hours’ worth of time. Just for the music? I’ll play the phone all night and still have hours left.
here’s one almost like it (but mine is a different brand and has a hard top that slides over as well…
http://www.macworld.com/article/133351/2008/05/juicepack.html
I think the brand of mine is “incase” — ah, here it is:
http://www.koyono.com/Incase-3G-iPhone-Power-Slider-Hard-Shell-Case-p/ec200ps.htm
[Jen, just an aside, they were wanted to start giving me medicine for RA because my sleep deprivation symptoms had gotten so bad, they were matching that of RA, so maybe this will help a bit. Hope so!]
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 1:51 pmThe links made the text too long above, so same comment, stripped of the links so it makes sense:
Jen, I leave my earphones in all night, but they are not the iphone earbuds (which are hard, and hurt).
As for the phone, I have a hard case for my iPhone that has a battery built in — it last hours and hours, unless I’m downloading something with heavy graphics, and even then, it’s several hours’ worth of time. Just for the music? I’ll play the phone all night and still have hours left.
here’s one almost like it (but mine is a different brand and has a hard top that slides over as well…
I think the brand of mine is “incase” — ah, here it is:
[Jen, just an aside, they were wanted to start giving me medicine for RA because my sleep deprivation symptoms had gotten so bad, they were matching that of RA, so maybe this will help a bit. Hope so!]
by Toni McGee Causey October 15th, 2009 at 1:57 pmThanks Toni! I’ll check it out! I’ll check out the links after I get some writing done!
I believe you on your sleep deprivation matching RA symptoms. The immune system needs rest
I bet you felt like you were losing your mind. I’m really happy you found a solution that doesn’t involve meds!
by Jen Lyon October 15th, 2009 at 2:16 pmToni,
I’m so glad that you found a solution for your insomnia. I haven’t slept well (sometimes at all) since the 9th grade – and we both know how old I am. I’m currently stuck out of state and can tell you ever footstep and door that has closed every night with corresponding times. I’ve given up on sleep and look at the bright side — I get a whole lot of work accomplished while my sweet hubby is in la-la-land. Some nights I am “that” woman curled on the floor in fetal position having a meltdown wondering how I am going to manage because I know that I have to speak to large groups or facilitate meetings the next day. I am thrilled for you! Even the sleep clinic didn’t work for me, and I refuse to take the prescribed drugs. I’m forced to take enough meds to stay alive that I don’t want to add another to the list. And, don’t even get me started about how cruel doctors and nurses are when you’re in the hospital since they seem to come in all hours of the night just to ‘check on you.” Invariably, they time that check just as you’re dosing from exhaustion. I too know ever episode of HGTV and the crime show dramas on USA and TNT. Happy sleeping and sweet dreams.
by Sharon October 15th, 2009 at 5:21 pmOoooh I am so jealous. A full night’s sleep, I thougth that was an Urban Myth I was going to find Busted on Myth Busters sometime soon.
I’ve tried wine, it just left me whining. I’ve tried pills (a goodly habit for the better part of a dec… hmmm when did pre-menopause start) and even with the pills I didn’t sleep all night, I just fell back to sleep easier. I finally broke myself of the habit three weeks ago while on vacation but I still don’t sleep/
I am so off to find this mp3 on I tunes. thank you so much.
by Cele October 15th, 2009 at 8:18 pmI went searching at Amazon (paying attenting to your 7hz comment)
Theta-Meidation and the length is 9:15, but the cover art is much different than the above link.
by Cele October 15th, 2009 at 8:27 pmYou are really fortunate that you figured this out, Toni. I believe that insomnia is one of our worst national problems, especially with moms. Good grief, all the stresses we have these days, it’s no wonder none of us get any sleep. I’ve been an insomniac most of my life, but the last 5-10 years (I was too tired to keep track) were the worst, with one out of five nights spent awake the ENTIRE night. Yuck. It had gotten so bad that I barely trusted myself to drive anyplace.
However, I’ve been working with an herbalist for the last couple of months, and I have been sleeping. All night. And falling asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, instead of lying awake until 3 or 4 AM, or even all night long. It’s sheer bliss.
by Karen in Ohio October 15th, 2009 at 9:00 pmToni,
by Jessica Scott October 16th, 2009 at 4:42 amOver here in Iraq, I’ve struggled with sleeping problems. Unfortunately, I’ve turned to Ambien every so often to try and reset when the nights drag into another and then another. When I hit the wall to the point of nonfunctioning, I take a pill. It’s not going to work when I get back to the states, though, because I’ve got kids and I can’t afford to go unconscious when I’m in the house with them.
It’s funny, though, b/c before I deployed to Iraq, I didn’t sleep that much and I was always up early b/c my kids are up early. I know making the transition back to always on the go mom is going to be tough but on the bright side, I should be exhausted enough to simply crash.
It’s funny but when we go to the field and there’s a generator running a few feet away, I sleep like a baby. And white noice (my hairdryer) saved my life when my firstborn had colic. I’m a huge fan of white noise and sleep better when there’s background noise as opposed to people noise.
Sleep is critical, though, so congrats on finding a way to do it.