 | 6 Oct 09 |
In my office, there is a wall that spans from window to bookcase, and on it is my greatest inspiration. No, ladies, it is not the Firefighters Calendar. Here, I’ll take a picture and share it with you.
Ah, I hear you say, Rocki has a Wall of Fame. Well, not exactly.
But, you say, surely this billboard of publishing credits is nothing but a show of ego, pride, and braggadocio. No, it is not. Then it must be a clever marketing ploy, a way to flash the brand to neighbors, luring dogwalkers and joggers with subliminal “Buy St. Claire!” messages. I swear it is not. Then, you insist, it must be a flat out appeal for congratulations, hung so that everyone who comes into the house to visit, clean, repair, or just drop off a kid has to pause and proclaim, “Wow! You wrote all those?”
And you would be wrong.
The wall in my office is not there to stroke my ego, sell my books, or knock the socks off the Slug-A-Bug man.
I admit, I hung the first few with a giddy sense of self-satisfaction, and a minor thrill that I actually found matching cheap plastic frames at Office Depot. But once they were up, the cover flats instantly took on a deep and meaningful role in my writing process, and that job has only become more important with each one I hang. Of course, the official “hanging of a cover flat” has become a tradition in my family. My husband plops in the rocker to opine on position. (He’s never wrong. Don’t believe me? Ask him.) My son fetches the stepladder, hammer, and nails, complaining mightily the whole time. My daughter eyeballs the wall to pronounce the placement straight…or not. And Pepper is so happy that we are all in one room that she circles my desk and threatens to spell (spill?) out her joy.
But shortly after I started this tradition, I realized the mosaic had become a life-altering signpost in my writer’s journey, one that flashes: It Can Be Done. Meaning, no matter how hard a book is to write, how fast the deadline is approaching, how convoluted the plot, how lifeless the scenes, how shitty the draft…I’ve been through it before and I’ve conquered the beast.
Surely, you’ve heard this truism: “Every book really does get harder to write.” If you’ve written or are in the process of writing your first book, you don’t believe this to be true. You think that the second book has to be just a little easier than the first, that the twenty-fifth must surely be a piece of cake compared to the first twenty-four, and the hundredth? Well, look at Nora knocking out those puppies six a year under two different names. How hard can it be?
Oh, my. It can be…hard. In my opinion, every book is ten times more difficult to write than the one before. Perhaps it’s because we raise our own bar, or readers have high(er) expectations, or our editor is demanding to be dazzled – more dazzled – again and again. That’s why I need my wall as a eight by ten foot reminder that no matter how deep in the weeds I am, I’ll find my way out. That is the lesson of my wall.
There is a point during the drafting of every manuscript when I believe the work in progress is the crappiest piece of craptastic crap I’ve ever written, and will surely come flying back from my editor with a terse “We paid you for this?” I get sick to my stomach and I start to squirm in my chair. I click over to email and bloghop with ridiculous frequency and, these past few months, I twitter and tweet. I sweat a little and call it a hot flash. I seek chocolate and pronounce it a diversion, and I rip through the pages of my trusty legal pad plotting notes, desperate to find Where I Went Wrong.
Mostly, I fear that I’ll never write a good book again.
It is during these dark days that I turn to my wall to remind myself that every cover was once a clunker. I look at French Twist and remember how I despaired over the need for more sexual tension in that book…and still get mail on just how steamy the steam room was. I study the couple on Like A Hurricane and recall how many openings I drafted until I finally nailed my all time favorite “cute meet.” I stare at Thrill Me To Death and relive the frustration of having to write such an unemotional hero, only to remember how I cried when he finally shed a tear.
Every single book on that wall was hell to write. Okay, some were just purgatory, and others were the depths. But all of them were pulled from the flames during the painful processes of writing, rewriting, and revising. All of the loose threads were tied, all of the shallow characters were deepened, all of the questionable motives were explained. (God, I hope. Please don’t tell me if I’ve missed one.) I love every book I’ve written, and I can look at each as a mother looks at a child: seeing perfection, not labor pains. Okay, not perfection. But damn good stuff. (And, look over to the right! I’ve made space for four RITA finalist certificates to remind me that I’m not the only one who thought the books didn’t suck. The gold ribbon? My RITA winner.)
My wall, then, is there for one reason only: to remind me that I’ve done it before, so I shall do it again. And that makes it one irreplaceable writer’s tool, a source of constant encouragement and inspiration on days when I need that more than I need wine, chocolate, and a new plot twist. When I reach a standstill, I just look to my left, and power on.
What reassures you on dark days? Where do you turn for a reminder that you have what it takes and you’ve proven it over and over again? Tell me! Or just stop by and say “Great Wall of Rocki!” One lucky commenter will win….any book from that wall! Go ahead, take a look, pick one! (Except Tropical Getaway, which is no longer in print! Want it? Let Pocket Books know!)
Rocki
P.S. Am I forgetting relentless release promo!? I had a new book out last week! Make Her Pay hit stores on September 29. What are you waiting for? You can comment for a chance to win it (or any other) or you may close this page and go buy the book! Constantine Xenakis just may be the last Bullet Catcher evah!
© 2009 Roxanne St. Claire. All rights reserved.
Roxanne St. Claire is a bestselling, RITA-Award winning author of twenty-four novels of romance and suspense. For the past several years, she's been writing a popular romantic suspense series called “The Bullet Catchers” for Pocket Star Books, featuring a cadre of bodyguards and security professionals. In 2010, she's launching a new series, "The Guardian Angelinos" focusing on an extended family of renegade crime fighters and investigators based in Boston. The first book in that series, EDGE OF SIGHT, will be released from Grand Central Publishing in November, 2010, with two more scheduled in 2011. In addition to the RITA, her books have won the National Reader’s Choice Award, the Daphne Du Maurier Award, the Maggie Award, the Booksellers Best, the Book Buyers Best, The HOLT Medallion, multiple Awards of Excellence, and Borders “Top Pick” for Romance in 2007.
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You should be damned proud of that wall. Your books are fantastic and I’m amazed that you have moments of doubt.
by HollyD October 6th, 2009 at 5:41 amThank you, Holly. I don’t have moments of doubt. I have days, weeks, and months of them. We ALL do! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 5:52 amGreat wall, Rocki!!
I still have a signed copy of Tropical Getaway in my keeper box.
I don’t really have anything that reassures me on my dark days. I just curl up on a sofa and read. Once I get out of the doldrums, I realize that I HAVE become a better write! The only problem is that no one in the industry has recognized it yet!
by Margaret A. Golla October 6th, 2009 at 5:53 amThey will, Margaret. So glad you have TG. I wish I had saved more but never dreamed it would be impossible to get!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 6:29 amFirst off, I think your wall is beautiful. It’s an inspirational celebration of accomplishment. =o)
When the dark days hit me, I don’t really have anything like that to turn to. I just wallow around in the darkness for a while until the stories nag me back to work. And I try to remember that no matter what happens, I’m writing for myself. (Some days it’s harder to remember that than others.)
Ugh, I can’t believe I missed the release date for Make Her Pay! As soon as the stores open, I’m there.
by B.E. Sanderson October 6th, 2009 at 5:58 amThank you, BE. Yes, you ARE writing to please YOU, that is important to remember and can be very motivational. Hope you find & love MAKE HER PAY! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 6:31 amEven though my writing creds are currently (that being a VERY important word
) limited to short stories, I understand the feeling. And the feeling of “yes, I did this before, I can do it again.” But I think it’s part of being a writer–granted, we’re making up the stories but still, it’s our minds and hearts and creativity out there for the world to see. It’s not a ‘safe’ career choice, that’s for sure. We risk approval and rejection with every word. So brava to you for the wall to remind you that you did it, and it can be done!
PS For anyone who’s still waiting on MHP, let me just say that while Rocki says Con may be the last Bullet Catcher — ‘evah’ — this may also be the HOTTEST Bullet Catcher — ‘evah’!
by Lorena October 6th, 2009 at 6:12 amSo glad you like Con, Lorena!! xoxo (I posted a reply to you once already, but it has disappeared!!)
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 7:52 amRocki
I think you’ve nailed that writing is rewriting… it’s what my long-time-ago mentor, Nancy Taylor Rosenberg once told me… Writing is rewriting. It became a mantra. It’s something I’ve forgotten in my current WIP when my plotline went pear-shaped.
I took time off over the summer and am now 19k from my word count goal. I only have one novel cover on my wall of fame, and a few writing contest awards — but this is something I aspire to. You’re an amazing inspiration, and I need more copies of your books… I am so curious about your first “cute meet”. This I gotta read. And the steam room comment? You’ve got a great elevator pitch in that one sentence. smart lady!
((hugs)) and have a great day. Keep writing. And rewriting. And thanks for all your http://www.mamawriters.com support!
~Ashley
by Ashley Ludwig October 6th, 2009 at 7:28 amAshley, thank you! ONE COVER is all it takes. That’s the only way to start.
I so agree that writing is rewriting and for me, rewriting is fun. I’m doing it all day today! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 7:53 amPS. Ashley, the “cute meet” in Hurricane is fun! She’s hanging out of the top of an elevator, attempting to repair it when he gets in and sees nothing but legs. It was my first category book, and dear to my heart.
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 8:00 amI love the idea of a heroine with an unexpected job. Like elevator repair person! lol
Love it!
by Ashley Ludwig October 6th, 2009 at 8:19 amWhat an inspirational wall! To prevent getting stuck, I try to give myself a variety of tasks to choose from. I write mostly nonfiction, so if I’m stuck, I either have to do more research or talk out my arguments with someone so they’re clear to me. But my limited experience with fiction is somewhat similar. If I’m stuck writing a scene, I move to higher-level plotting. If I’m stuck getting the plot from point a to point b, I put it aside and write a scene. Even if I don’t use the scene later, I feel like I’ve moved forward. And sometimes I just need exercise to clear my head.
by Cassandra Vert October 6th, 2009 at 7:40 amHey Cassandra, thanks for stopping by. I know lots of writers who project-jump to keep from getting stuck. But when you’re on a deadline…that can be tough. I like just writing the scene you want to write, maybe not the “next” scene in the book. Might try that next time I hit the wall.
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 7:54 amThat wall might be your inspiration, but I’m betting after today, it inspires a lot more writers. Thanks for such a timely, wonderful post.
by Kristen Painter October 6th, 2009 at 7:44 amI will happily come to your house and do your wall. I predict you will need a lot of space!! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 7:55 amLike Ashley, I only have one cover on my wall, with a second coming once the artist finishes. Some day, I hope to have a whole wall like yours, Rocki!
What keeps me going? Chocolate chip cookies hot from the oven. And “fans” (who have become friends) who’ve yet to read my book but remind me constantly they are anxiously awaiting my release date next spring and *bwap* me upside the head when I start singing the blues. I should also mention professionals like you, Jen, Karin, Toni, Allison, the two Debs, Sylv, Heather, and Nat (and a few others spread across the publishing world) who take an interest and offer a hand in friendship and an encouraging word when I’m feeling a bit small and insecure about it all.
And cookies. Lots and lots of cookies! Just sayin’….
by Silver James October 6th, 2009 at 7:48 amFriends and cookies. Doesn’t get better than that. I will also give you a helping hand on wall decor, Silver. Start buying frames now! (They come in packets of 3 from Office Depot – very cheap, but they all match and don’t look too tacky. Well, a little tacky.) xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 7:57 amThat is a fabulous wall, Rocki!!
by Debra webb October 6th, 2009 at 7:51 amThanks, Deb! Yours is bigger, I know!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 11:33 amI really really needed that post today. Your timing is impeccable! Now just tell me it isn’t procrastination for me to run to Office Depot and try to find matching cheap plastic frames…I only need two! So far.
by Louisa Edwards October 6th, 2009 at 8:17 amYou can order them on line. No procrastinating necessary!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 11:34 amI love the wall! You’ve worked hard to make that wall happen and the reminders as you write the next book sounds great.
It’s blogs like yours and other published authors who take the time to let us know it’s hard and that you struggle just like those of us yet to be published do.
But then, you know I think you ROCK!!
by Vicki October 6th, 2009 at 9:10 amThank you, Vicki. It’s a struggle, but it’s a fun struggle or we wouldn’t do it. Right??? xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 11:34 amI can honestly say these are the best struggles, even if it doesn’t always feel like it at the moment. When they pass, the feeling is wonderful.
by Vicki October 6th, 2009 at 12:01 pmRocki, great wall! And today, I just needed to hear the words, IT CAN BE DONE. So thank you!
May your wall never stop growing!
by Jen Lyon October 6th, 2009 at 10:05 amIT CAN BE DONE, Jen! You know it!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 11:35 amGreat post. Your wall is wonderful–hope it keeps growing!
by GSM October 6th, 2009 at 10:51 am* Pouts * I possibly have to wait until this friday to get Make Her Pay. Will have to slip it secretly in the cart. Heh heh heh.
I do like that wall!
by Raonaid Luckwell October 6th, 2009 at 11:07 amAnd then you’ll have Con all weekend long! Enjoy, Raonaid! I know you’ll have a blast with him! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 11:36 amLove your wall. May it continue to grow and grow.
by CrystalGB October 6th, 2009 at 11:54 amThank you, Crystal. Am working on a new one right now!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 12:00 pmRoxanne
by Sue October 6th, 2009 at 11:55 amI love your wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nice job
And I love YOU!!!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 12:01 pmI cant wait to read Make Her Pay, I picked it up last week, but havent had time to read it yet
Fingers crossed that no major projects come up at work and I can spend the weekend reading and not working.
by Tiffany October 6th, 2009 at 1:16 pmLove your Wall – thanks for sharing!
Don’t work. Read. That’s an order!
Have fun! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 2:07 pmi started a wall and took it down. i had other stuff i wanted up. BUT, my books! I have a gorgeous black and gold carved shelving unit directly in front of my desk on the opposite wall. between two large lusty red alabaster heart shaped book ends are my books. in the order of publication. I look at them all day long and am inspired by the knowledge that i wrote them.
and hey, saw MAKE HER PAY in Safeway the other day. LOVE the cover. of course i rearranged them on the best seller rack.
by Karin Tabke October 6th, 2009 at 1:34 pmI love your bookcase idea! Wonderful. Will you post a picture? Would love to see it. xo PS. Safeway? Suweeeet.
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 2:08 pmThat’s a great wall, Rocki.
by Jane October 6th, 2009 at 1:55 pmThank you! It props me up when I’m falling! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 2:09 pmI’ve seen that wall!
And a beautiful wall it is.
I have a couple magazine covers framed for inspiration. I know at least that editor didn’t think my writing sucked.
I also turn to dear friends like you who re-arrange their days and convince their husbands to cook for a friend who drops in for the afternoon. I’ll always remember that day.
Great post!
by Marilyn October 6th, 2009 at 2:10 pmI love “rearrange their days and have their husbands cook for a friend.” God love the man – and we’re still talking about what fun that day was! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 2:52 pmWhat a fantastic post, Rocki. I love it, and I love your wall. I have my first six book covers framed, but I haven’t caught up with the rest. I need to do it. Even the covers I don’t like
My inspiration on dark days usually involves loud rock music, a margarita, and starting a new scene, even — *gasp* — sometimes writing out of order. (I know, you’re all shocked.) You know the jump scene in THE MATRIX when Morpheus says to Neo “Free your mind” and then Morpheus leaps across a wide space between two buildings? It’s impossible, so it seems. But Morpheus does it. Neo fails the first time. Falls on the cement below, like thirty stories. He bleeds and says, “I thought the Matrix wasn’t real.” Morpheus says “Your mind makes it real.”
We all fall, we all fail. It’s getting back up and trying again and again even when it hurts that creates success.
by Allison Brennan October 6th, 2009 at 2:55 pmMust rent The Matrix, stat. Put those covers up, Allison, even if you don’t love them. I’ve got 24 up and I don’t like…20 of them. Okay, 19. xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 3:03 pmLOL. I have a digital photo frame and was thinking of having all my pictures rotate in that, but then thought it might be distracting while I’m writing.
by Allison Brennan October 6th, 2009 at 3:44 pmOh, and if you’ve never seen THE MATRIX you have to rent it. I often watch it when I struggle because it’s one of the few perfectly made movies from beginning to end. You can skip the sequels, though.
by Allison Brennan October 6th, 2009 at 3:45 pmI’ve read almost all of your books, but there’s still a couple I would like to read. Just finished your last 2, sorry to hear Con may be the last!! Nice wall!! Keep em coming, Sue.
by QLady48 October 6th, 2009 at 3:10 pmThanks, Sue, your name’s in the hat, will be drawing one soon! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 6:57 pmYou have set up a wonderful way to keep yourself motivated. Visual reminders are often best to keep us moving and trying. There have been times when I’ve started a project and wanted to quit. I usually look at other things I started with no prior experience. Then there is always the reason for the project which pushes me along.
by Patricia Barraclough October 6th, 2009 at 6:32 pmGood luck with your release, and keep those Bullet Catchers coming.
Thank you, Patricia. Look at any success — in art and life, and the motivation is there. Sometimes I have to look at child #1 when child #2 is driving me nuts and think…well, I’ve been through 7th grade once, so I can do it again!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 6:59 pmI have a happy box for when the doubt demons attack me. It holds a certificate that says ‘yes you placed second in a contest’, and rejection letters that tell me I am thisclose so keep trying, and inspirational quotes I’ve found here and there.
I love your wall Rocki and I picked up Make Her Pay today at B&N.
by Jill James October 6th, 2009 at 6:47 pmJill – A Happy Box! I like the sound of that! Thanks for getting the book! xo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 6:59 pmWE HAVE A WINNER! My daughter picked #16 and that is…Crystal! Congratulations, Crystal, you get the backlist book of your choice. Please email me at roxannestc@cfl.rr.com and let me know an address and which book you would like!
Thanks everyone for sharing my wall!
xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire October 6th, 2009 at 7:03 pmRocki
Hi Roxanne
by RKCharron October 6th, 2009 at 11:12 pmThank you for sharing this inspirational post.
I think it is a great idea to wall your covers.
When I get published, I’ll start my own.
Love & Best Wishes,
RKCharron
xoxo
PS – What reassures me & reaffirms my determination that I have what it takes is posts by writers like you who have been where I am.
What a Wall, Roxanne !!
by Emmanuelle October 7th, 2009 at 1:20 amHard work eventually pays, you do have the constant reminder under your eyes
Congrats, you really deserve it !
Thank you Roxanne.
by CrystalGB October 7th, 2009 at 11:11 am