 | 19 Aug 09 |
Ah, that’s a lie. I’m alive, and other than a slight cold or an annoying allergy, thankfully in decent hearth. But I’m going to be truthful here, admit more than I usually do, and, I believe, I’m one of many in the situation.
I feel like the Scarecrow sometimes. If I only had a brain!
I would not be overwhelmed.
What is it about us? It’s usually considered to be women, but sometimes men as well. Somehow, we managed to grow up in the “Enjoli” era. Some of you may remember. “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him think he’s not the man!” Paraphrased terribly, but it’s a very old ad for perfume.
Sometimes, interviewers tell me that many authors have to have a quiet room, there own place, soft music, perfect lighting, whatever, to work.
That would be true insanity. For most of us, work takes place in the midst of kids. Or pets. Or other work, or other commitments. Oh, by the way, that was not a comment stating that Dennis was an incapable person. He’s been around far too long, actually, and is far too opinionated about publishing. But that doesn’t change life. For most of us, a quiet garret somewhere is a fantasy, or a dream. Or it’s not even a dream anymore, because if we had such a place, we’d be looking around, unable to work because something else wasn’t going on, someone wasn’t needy, there wasn’t a time line because a child didn’t need to be picked up from one activity to be brought to another.
Okay, so . . . this time, it got a bit overwhelming. First, there’s the audit. God was angry at me, and had me audited. He wasn’t that angry, or it’s all His sense of humor, because he did give me the most decent and kind agent in the world. I’ve actually learned tremendously from her. She’s stern and her figures will add up, but she has never just lifted a hand and said, “too bad.” She has done her best to help me get missing paper work and make the numbers crunch. But I did get hit with two years in which storm damage erased or ate up a lot of receipts, the journal, and all that. So it’s tough. She works with me.
God is good, after all.
Okay, so audit. Then, midstream, when I was about to turn in a book, we’ve decided that another book needs to be out first. Okay . . . .
Then there is New Orleans. Two weeks now before I leave. Panels, trying to make sure everyone speaks, and speaks with the right group. I have help on this–Mary Stella has put together lots of panels. Who is coming, what is specific need at the workshop, and how do I best serve that need? Roommates–do I have the best combination of people together. (Hey, even in–or especially in!–my own family, this is a tricky task. Again, lots of help–Connie Perry. Baskets for raffles–the original idea of the workshop was to bring people into the city, and then, to support the libraries. Of course! But we need those giveaway from baskets. I’m the one who needs to bring in the goodies. Books to fill the bags–and, thus far, we are remarkably proud of our bags. We try to give the most amazing bang for the buck out there, and support our fellow authors who are there and who cannot be there, so we try to make excellent goody bags.
(Hey, I’m not proud. Anyone with giveaways, books, etc! Connie Perry, 103 Estainville Avenue, Lafayette, Louisiana)
Okay, audit, change in book, NOLA.
That’s okay . . . .
Bill! What’s that wretched bastard doing out in the Atlantic? Okay, he’d better head north, that’s all I have to say. And leave Bermuda the hell alone, too, got it?
We’ve been remarkably lucky this summer. Lots and lots of rain and wind–remnants of storms that didn’t quite make it, and hey, that’s great, we can deal with rain. I am part of Florida, and the state has been beaten up, and it’s handled it well every time. (I mean, who needs electric every day, eh? That annoying Camille already moved into the panhandle, headed north, and is petering out.
So back to that frazzled thing, accountant’s office, book, email, wow, maybe I should twitter, all those pics on my camera and I haven’t downloaded, really need to do the laundry . . . .
It’s all part of bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, and somehow live a good life, do the things we feel in our hearts, and . . . .
Really. Even back then, I was ready to beat the @#$$%% out of the “Enjoli” woman!
Heather Graham
Heather Graham has appeared on Entertainment Tonight, Romantically Speaking, a TV talk show that aired nationwide on the Romance Classics cable channel, and CBS Sunday News. She has been quoted in People and USA Today, been profiled in The Nation, and featured in Good Housekeeping. Her books have been selections for the Doubleday Book Club and the Literary Guild. She has been published across the world in more than 15 languages and has published over 70 titles, including anthologies and short stories.
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You do so much — now all my little things that make me feel all frazzled seem trivial.
Somehow, “Bill” doesn’t seem like the name of a wonking big storm. My concern is what the weather will do Sept 7-11 when we’re on the cruise our kids gave us. And how I’m going to get everything done before we leave so I can have a relaxing time.
by Terry Odell August 19th, 2009 at 4:49 amHurricane Bill? Seriously? That’s the best “B” name they could come up with? Why not Bob? Or Bartholomew? Bill? If we call it Hurricane Billy it might seem kinda cute. What do you think?
I agree with you, I really don’t like that woman. I’ll bet it was a man who wrote that song. BTW, I’m gonna have that stuck in my head all day now.
by Erika August 19th, 2009 at 7:22 amI’d like to blame Enjoli for putting unrealistic expectations on us, but I think it was probably only following a trend!
I’ve been accused of suffering from “empty calendar withdrawal syndrome” — you know, you have to fill the calendar or your eyes get puffy, your nose starts running, your…wait, that might actually be my allergies to acacia and live oak…
I prefer to put the blame on big dreams. There is so much to do–so many stories to tell, so many pieces of the world to make just a little bit better if only…sometimes it is overwhelming, but at the same time, I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, maybe some other ways. You know, someone else doing the cooking and cleaning, that sort of thing….
by Lorena August 19th, 2009 at 8:03 amBTW, I am a fan of wimpy names for storms–it keeps me optimistic. Really, you go naming a storm “Ivan” and you’re just begging for an “Ivan the Terrible” headline…
Okay, so Mother Nature isn’t paying attention, but it makes me feel better
by Lorena August 19th, 2009 at 8:13 amLOL, good point.
by Erika August 19th, 2009 at 8:17 amThey are saying that Bill (really, let’s hope he’s a Bill-y, little kid, no worse to us all than a toddler despite the size and strength right now!) is heading north. Storms are so unpredictable, even when they predict them. Katrina wasn’t even a hurricane, as a tropical storm she was going to hit Palm Beach. She made a sudden u-ey and came for Miami, so I never really trust them until they’re all gone. Ah, well! They will do what they will do, and the thing is, there’s not a thing we can do about it. Except pray!
by heather graham August 19th, 2009 at 8:21 amOkay, so I am praying. A friend once told me that lightning didn’t strike the same place twice. But this is Florida–lightning strikes wherever the hell it likes whenever it likes. I have to hope they stay away from me and my friends up in New Orleans!
Heather- Good luck w/ everything. Here’s hoping it is a boring Hurricane season.
The hubby & I lived in St. Petersburg for the 1st five years of our marriage, 2 of our 5 kids were born there and we still have family in Jacksonville, Orlando, and a few other places the empty brain can’t think of right now.
My computer is in the living room and I get to play referee w/ the kids, take care of the cat and the hermit crabs, do the laundry and the dishes- no dishwasher, and feed everyone. I also have to keep track of everyone’s calandars. Jeez, no wonder I’m tired and my brain is empty.
by HollyD August 19th, 2009 at 8:35 amYou have to wonder what the percentage would be for the IRS agents to be mean. What possible good can it do? We were audited once, way back in the late 80′s, and I was kind of excited about it. I had done our books (and still do), and wanted to see how well the IRS thought I did. Turned out, pretty well, just missed a couple small things, which the (woman) IRS agent forgave. So it ended up being a positive experience, considering my husband was belligerent as we were leaving. I asked him to please just sit there and let me answer the questions since he didn’t have anything to do with the books, and for once he did.
Youngest daughter just moved to Miami, so we are now solidly invested in a hurricane-free season for your area, Heather.
by Karen in Ohio August 19th, 2009 at 9:32 amHere’s one thing I didn’t know–anyone being audited can request a different agent. I lucked out, because I would have just jumped if I had gotten someone hard-nosed. And, sadly, my bookkeeping is pathetic, but mainly, we lost so much to previous storms that I’m repiecing everything. She could just say, you don’t have it, seriously, too bad. But she’s letting me contact banks, and helping through the process. She even warned me that if I wound up in big debt, to get a loan, because the interest piled up far more severely with the IRS. IRS agents are people, too! I wasn’t lucky in the draw to be audited, but I was very lucky in the human being that happened upon my case when my number popped up.
by heather graham August 19th, 2009 at 9:38 amHere’s the thing–I don’t think I’m ever winning a lottery, so . . .
oh, well!
Hi! Your blog was nominated for BBAW’s Best Thriller/Mystery Blog. I tried to send an email to the murdershewrites email, but it was rejected. Can you email me at trish(at)heylady(dot)net? Thank you!
by Trish Collins August 19th, 2009 at 10:19 amHi Heather, reading all you have been going thru really made me want to take a nap..not because I was bored..more in hopes it would help you. I must say you show alot of energy in your day. I love your books and always waiting for a new one. Have a good day. susan L.
by susan leech August 19th, 2009 at 12:33 pmHey, bless you, thanks! Actually, knock on wood, my kids are all good, and second great nephew due in September, so that’s what really makes the world go around. I greatly sympathize with friends in real trouble–I know what it’s like to lose my parents and a sibling, but never a child, and I watch friends struggle with loss or with seriously ill children and I feel like slapping myself if I even thin to complain. And you never know. Believe it or not, the evacuation last year was, in an odd way, very funny, and every friend not with me had a story to tell, so . . . storms, IRS, and deadlines are just little hills to climb. Okay, so I admit I wish I could take a nap. I couldn’t nap even as a child. What I really wish, is to talk myself into the gym every day. That will keep me from stress–so I’ve heard!
by heather graham August 19th, 2009 at 12:38 pmI remember days like that. Things still get crazy every once in a while, but not like they used to. I actually miss those crazy times. You may be stressed. May not know how you are going to be in two places at one time. You may think you were nuts to volunteer to do half of what you are into. But in the end, it is all good and you feel alive – AFTER it is all over.
by Patricia Barraclough August 19th, 2009 at 6:24 pmNow, I’ve let myself get buried and am having a hard time digging out. Maybe I wasn’t busy enough. Maybe I need an audit to shake things up (I don’t even know where to look for half of our paperwork).
Heather, you are the Queen of multi-tasking. My days seem kinda wimpy compared to yours, especially since the oldest just moved out with grandson and we are down to 3 around here.
by Jill James August 19th, 2009 at 7:11 pm