 | 23 Jul 09 |
Sophie Littlefield’s a recovering housewife from the California suburbs who wrote a whole lot of stories before creating Stella Hardesty, the middle-aged rural renegade heroine of A BAD DAY FOR SORRY, which hits the shelves August 4th. She has a young adult novel coming out next year from Delacorte – and just between us, there may be a zombie or two in that one.
I got a chance to meet Sophie at RWA and wow, Andrea Sisco was right–she is awesome. It was especially cool that I got to witness her very first autograph of her very first book, EVER. Please give a warm MSW welcome to Sophie!
by Sophie Littlefield
Thank you so much to Toni for the invitation to join you guys! This was especially cool because it came out of one of those “hey, there’s someone you should really meet” encounters that started with one friend and skipped along like a stone on a pond as I got introduced to a string of incredible and supportive women. (Hey, Andrea! Waving!)
I’ve been attending writers’ conferences for quite a while now, and you’d think that I might have learned some manners in the process, particularly when it comes to interacting with Famous Authors. Unfortunately, I tend to react the same way now that I did when I first spotted Susan Elizabeth Phillips across the room at a long-ago RWA National conference and had to sink into a chair, short of breath, digging furiously in my purse for a soothing and restorative Dove chocolate square.
Lately, the problem is getting worse.
For instance, I’ve had a chance to speak on a few panels about writing. Which is cool and all, except invariably the rest of the panel is composed of ridiculously talented, impressive authors and all my carefully composed thoughts go right out the window. A while ago I found myself sitting three feet away from amazing/charming/smart/funny Allison Brennan and I just wanted to ask her if I could get her some more water or unwrap her Smarties for her.
On that same trip, I had an appointment with an editor, and I found myself standing in the lobby of the Random House offices. In, you know, New York Freaking City. Oh. My. God. I think I started hyperventilating. They have these huge three-story tall bookcases filled with first editions of books going back decades. There are people striding purposefully in and out of the building who are clearly thinking deeply literary thoughts. I’m pretty sure they were all literati, probably Pulitzer nominees who refuse to appear in People (which is why I didn’t recognize them). I was asked to show my ID at the desk, and I wanted to blurt out “Really, I swear I’ve written a heck of a lot of words!”
At industry events, well-meaning people introduce me to Famous Authors. You’d think I’d develop some moves after a while, right? Nope, I’ve got a standard response down pat and it goes something like this:
Famous Author: Congratulations on your upcoming debut!
Me: uh. Umm, mmm.
Famous Author: So what’s it about?
Me: Oh. Ah, there’s this. Mmmm. (long silence)
I’ve got this really great tradition I started at a conference over a year ago — every time I attend an industry party I spill a glass of wine on somebody, and it’s always the most well-known person in the room. I mean, every single time. It’s gotten so I really think it would be best to walk into the room and do a quick scan of the room to find the most famous person and grab a glass from the nearest waiter and dump it on them…you know, just to get it over with.
Oh, and I also have a talent for meeting famous people in bathrooms. Last year I ran into — and I mean turned around and plowed into — a truly legendary editor, a woman whose name is always whispered in reverent tones, who’s led the literary charge for literally decades and decades. I’m a tall gal who’s built kind of like a linebacker and this lovely lady is an elegant wisp of mature chic, and if her assistant hadn’t deftly whisked her aside I probably would have knocked her into the sink. Then there was the time I was so excited to see a favorite author on the night she won a special award that I cornered her in front of the stalls and babbled away with great enthusiasm until she begged me to let her do what she’d come to do. Um, and then I hugged her. Hard. Cause I was just so caught up in the love, you know?
I enjoy asking my favorite authors to sign books for me — and I still get completely tongue-tied. I went to see a thriller writer I’ve admired forever — I’ve read all of his books, some twice — and when it was my turn at the front of the line, he asked me to whom he should sign the book. I couldn’t quite seem to get my own name out, and after a few unsuccessful tries I could see him resetting some internal sensor and he began speaking to me the way you’d speak to a lost five-year-old in the mall food court. He was kind and patient and chatty and politely ignored my pained silence and lack of social skills and maybe that is why, as I was lurching away, clutching my book in my clammy hands, I blurted out “I’m a writer too!” The look on his kind and handsome face as his assistant guided me away was a kind of mournful pity…
I mean, sheesh, “I’m a writer too?” I kicked myself for days after that, convinced I was the biggest loser on the planet. I actually had to turn his books around in my shelves for a while so I wouldn’t have to look at the spines, which were painful reminders of my unutterable social clumsiness. But time heals, and after a long recovery I was able to crack the pages of the new book with only a mild feeling of nausea.
In a very short while I’ll be signing my own debut book. I’ve heard lots of stories and cautionary tales and I’m completely prepared to sit at lonely tables talking to myself and eating Lorna Doones, but I’ve got to figure that eventually someone will buy the thing and ask my to write in it. Here’s my great fear: that some lovely person I’ve known all my life will come up, book in hand, and I’ll be overwhelmed and forget their name. It could be my own sister standing there and I’ll be like “Hey, uh….cute shirt.” I was planning to use the “er, how do you spell your name again?” thing except an experienced writer explained that every time you do that the universe changes that person’s name to Pat. P-A-T.
So, do the rest of you ever commit gaffes around your favorite authors? For you famous gals, does it ever get any easier? I’ve got a party coming up so chime in with any and all tips…
© 2009, Toni McGee Causey. All rights reserved.
Toni McGee Causey lives in Baton Rouge, LA, and is the best-selling author of the BOBBIE FAYE trilogy. She has contributed a critically acclaimed short story to the KILLER YEAR: STORIES TO DIE FOR anthology edited by Lee Child and an essay in DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO MISS NEW ORLEANS. Additionally, she recently produced an indie film, LA 308. She and her husband, Carl, are licensed general contractors and, in order to support her writing addiction, they run their own company, specializing in civil construction.
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On the name spelling — I used to do temp work for our local Convention & Visitor’s Bureau and most of my tasks were entering data from registration forms so people could get those stinking badges. Sometimes, however we worked without forms, where you had to ask the person for his name.
One guy told me his name was John. I still asked him how to spell it (I believe my normal line was, “the usual spelling?” or “with or without the ‘h’?”
But then one guy gave me a very strange spelling (which, for the life of me on half a cup of coffee, I can’t remember although I swore I’d never forget it). Anyway, I always ask about spelling, and if I should get your “Pat”, I’d smile and say, “one T or 2?”
At the RT signing, two of my former cohorts from those data entry days showed up and bought my books, and, yeah, I had to ask their names. But hey–we always wore uniforms with stinking nametags so I rarely rememberd their names, especially out of uniform.
by Terry Odell July 23rd, 2009 at 4:43 amyi yi, so glad it’s not just me. I’ve seen some weird spellings too….maybe “Sjaughnn” for John?
My daughter’s name is Sally and just for fun I sometimes spell it strangely to tease her… Tzalleigh perhaps
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:00 amGreat to meet you, Sophie! I love your book cover! And, Terry, I’m with you. I always ask how they spell their names. Sometimes they look at me like, are you stupid? But it never ceases to surprise me how many ways there are to spell the simplest name.
by Debra Webb July 23rd, 2009 at 5:43 amGah, I love my cover too!! It’s so cool that I can brag about it because I didn’t have a single thing to do with it
The guy who designed it is David Rotstein and as far as I’m concerned he’s a durn genius. Thanks Debra!
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:02 amGod, yes! I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth many, many times–in fact just recently with a writer by the name of TMC–uh, I wasn’t drunk when I wrote to you on Facebook . . . really!
Great cover, Sophie! And your book looks like a great read!
by Margaret A. Golla July 23rd, 2009 at 6:11 amOh my, the perils of “drunk commenting”…not that I’d *ever* do that but isn’t it amazing how much more brilliant we get late in the evening…
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:03 amLOL — and it was a terrific letter, Margaret is so sweet.
by toni mcgee causey July 23rd, 2009 at 11:14 am*snork* Toni, Toni, Toni–that’s so sweet, but remember I KIDNAPPED Karin’s character and held him hostage–ala Stephen King’s Misery.
by Margaret A. Golla July 23rd, 2009 at 1:14 pmTry explaining that to the hubster why I kept going to the basement and walking out with a look of . . . satisfaction on my face. *sigh* Thorin is one luscious Viking!
he’s still in therapy!
by Karin Tabke July 23rd, 2009 at 3:27 pm
LOL 
by Margaret A. Golla July 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pmWhat a fun post, Sophie! I am so sorry I didn’t get to meet you at Nationals, too! We could spill wine together!
I have never made a social gaffe. Ever. Not once. I have never gushed to the publisher of a major house how grateful I was that they sent me to this huge signing with the largest distributor of books on earth and how much I loved writing for the house…only to realize mid-sentence that he was not the publisher of my house, but the publisher of *another* house. Who hadn’t sent me. Who didn’t even know me. Who, clearly, would never publish such an idiot.
I have never, ever done that, thank goodness.
by Roxanne St. Claire July 23rd, 2009 at 6:49 amWow, you’re exactly my kind of gal. That’s a classic Littlefield move. Let’s definitely do the party circuit together! We’ll be unstoppable!
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:39 amHa, Sophie! Thanks for making me laugh this morning. So, you’re gorgeous AND funny AND talented???? Will you be my friend, I’m a writer too! LOL
by Shannon Esposito July 23rd, 2009 at 6:50 amSeriously, congratulations and try not to spill wine on anyone as you celebrate on Aug 4th!!!
Thank you so much for the good wishes! It’s like eleven days away (not that I’m counting or anything)…
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 amSophie is so funny and wonderful in person, and the way she shared her story on the Thriller Panel I had to run up to my room and pre-order the book.
by Allison Brennan July 23rd, 2009 at 6:53 amOMG OMG OMG it’s Allison and she’s all famous-like and I’m hyperventilating!!!
Actually I’ll share a little secret – some people make you forget their fame in a good way, if you know what I mean. You’re around them for thirty seconds and suddenly it’s just like talking to your cousin. You know, the one you like, not the one that married that toad from Cincinnatti, who dresses her kids like trash.
Allison’s the nice cousin.
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 amP.S. if you had touched my Smarties, I’d have smacked your hand.
by Allison Brennan July 23rd, 2009 at 6:55 amWait, wait – I take it all back. Allison’s the mean cousin!!!
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:07 amCan I just say, OT, that I totally love Smarties, they are my favorite candy and just thinking about them makes me happy. Also that I just went into the admin to post this comment, and found 17 comments from Sophie waiting for approval, if you were wondering why we went from 17 to 33 like that.
Rocki
by Roxanne St. Claire July 23rd, 2009 at 10:55 amOne of the reasons I liked bing in the military is because name and rank are right there in front of me.To this day I have a horrible time remembering names.
As for spilling stuff on other people, they don’t call me Queen Klutz for nothin.
If there is a social gaffe I have made it. Usually in a big crowd with important people.
Oh, well. They will get over it. I on the other hand should hide for the next century until they are all dead and no one remembers my screwups.
by Ev July 23rd, 2009 at 6:58 amEv, you can spill stuff on me anytime. And then I’ll spill back. It’ll be like we’re in kindergarden again. Everyone else will be jealous that we’re having all the fun.
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 amTo this day I remember the ice cream on my nutty buddy flying off and hitting my 6ht grade teacher. And that was a lot of years ago. Sad.
by Ev July 24th, 2009 at 10:49 amI’m glad you stopped by MSW today, Sophie. Now I can add your release to my list. =o)
I’ve never been in the same room as a famous anyone, so I’m gaffe free. I know when I worked in sales, I had to meet a lot of corporate gods and captains of industry (at least in my little segment of the world). At first it took everything I had to not fall to my knees whimpering “I’m not worthy”, but once you realize, they’re just people, it gets easier.
I think it helped when the national sales manager for my company’s biggest client invited me to the bar. After a couple hours of drinking and chatting, she wasn’t so scary anymore. I’m still in awe of her, but now she’s just an awesome person instead of a god.
by B.E. Sanderson July 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 amAh, the Alcohol Solution. Yes I know it well. A couple of drinks makes me very suave and charming….on the *inside*, where only I can hear! Unfortunately, on the outside it just makes me forget my manners and reach across people to get to the spinach dip, and corner cute waiters and ask if they’re secretly actors, stuff like that.
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:11 amBiggest social gaffe that I haven’t banished from my memory for fear I would never show my face in public:
Reno, 2005. First RWA. Stood in long, long line for Nora Roberts with my JD Robb book in hand. Blue sticker on cover to show I had, in fact, brought the book with me. Waited. Waited. Waited. Had my five seconds with her. Gushed out,
“You inspire me. I read your writing advice, put my ass in my chair, wrote, and my first book comes out in January.”
Yes, I said “ass.”
I also swore five times at the Smart Women, Short Skirts panel with Toni, the SMP publisher, and our agent Kim. We should have called it Smart Women, Foul Mouths
by Allison Brennan July 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 amNow that’s a panel I’d go to, Allison! (Not that I wasn’t at the SW/SS anyway. LOL!) That was a rollicking discussion and I enjoyed the hell out of it!
by Silver James July 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 amWait wait – we can’t say “ass”??? Shit! I wish someone had told me!
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:13 amWell, I think I cursed right off the bat (I called myself a bitch and the whole room’s eyebrows went up)… I probably said several others as well. It’s hard to behave if I’m talking about writing and Bobbie Faye.
Plus, I kept calling it “Short Women, Smart Skirts.”
by toni mcgee causey July 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 amNo, I think I called you a bitch, but I said it affectionately.
by Allison Brennan July 23rd, 2009 at 11:42 amAnd yes, you did keep screwing up the name of the panel. But your way was still better than what Thrillerwriters called it: Should Women Be On Top? Only a guy could think up a title like that . . .
by Allison Brennan July 23rd, 2009 at 11:45 amoh I know I saw that title and I was like…”really?” Yes, someone let the boys play with all the crayons that day.
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pmAnd then there’s people like me – with two names to continually confound and screw up all you lovely writers signing my books! *bwahaha*
I don’t think I committed too many faux pas at DC – beyond following the MSW gals around like a lost puppy, hoping they would adopt me. Oh. And babbling. Like a brook during the spring run-off (aka diarrha of the mouth).
You’d think with all the books in the TPR avalanche, in the massive secondary pile from DC, and on my WIN list, there’d be no room for Just One More! (Says she who even now is going to add Sophie’s book to the list…)
Great to meet you, Sophie. I’ll definitely get the book! And Toni, Karin, Allison, Deb, Rocki, and Heather? Ya’ll rock my socks off! And Sophie? You can spill wine on me any time.
by Silver James July 23rd, 2009 at 7:15 amAw, thanks Silver! I have to say I’m thrilled to “meet” you. I named a character Silver in my second book and one of my readers told me there was no such name. Oh *yeah* there is! Is that your real name or your name of choice?
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 amIt’s my name of choice. Well, a nickname anyway. But you can tell your friend that you soooo know a Silver so there! Pbthhh. And Allison? You can call me anything you want to! I was the squeeing fangirl every time I bumped into ya’ll. And I’m sure when I meet Sophie in Nashville (we’ll go stalk someone famous to spill wine on…or maybe I’ll spill wine on you to make you look famous?), I’ll go *squee* at her, too!
by Silver James July 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pmIt was SO great to meet you, too Silver (or whatever name you’re going by this week, because I will NOT remember. You are who I meet you as, period. Thank you for sharing drinks with the big Loser after the Ritas
by Allison Brennan July 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 amThanks for letting me tag along like the squeeing fangirl I am! You and Rocki should have tied to win! Just sayin’…!
by Silver James July 23rd, 2009 at 12:56 pmSophie, welcome to MSW and can I hang out with you! Oh and can you spill your wine on me just so I’ll feel famous?
Your blog is hilarious!
I’m too embarrassed to even say how stupid I was at my last publisher party. And then lunch with my editor–for two days I lectured myself about behaving. Did I behave? Hell no…uh, I mean heck no. I know I didn’t because as we left, the waiter pulled me aside and said, “Come back anytime, you ladies liven up the place.”
Okay…
Signing books, I always ask how to spell the name.
by Jen Lyon July 23rd, 2009 at 7:51 amOh my. We do beat up on ourselves, don’t we? One of the many, many, many wonderful things about getting a wee little bit older is that I just don’t have the stamina for those endless self-upbraiding sessions. I think it’s way better to forgive yourself, grab a Diet Coke and go have another adventure.
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:17 amAnd if you don’t ask, but assume that a name like “Paula” is spelled thusly, then inevitably it’s going to be spelled “Pawla”, and they’re incensed that you didn’t just intuit it somehow.
by Karen in Ohio July 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 amOh. I am SOOO naming a character Pawla. That is way too good not to use. I think my heart just skipped a beat or two…
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 amShe could be the cousin from Cincinnatti, the one who doesn’t know how to raise her kids.
by Lorena July 23rd, 2009 at 12:19 pmI usually get tongue tied around my favorites, or in the presense of anyone famous. So I sort of just blend in with the furniture..I’m afraid I will totally blow it. Going unnotice seems to be my best policy, I think.
by Lee July 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 amoh lee, i have this friend who shares your approach. She’s lovely, a true lady, and somehow she just makes me want to tease her, so I always grab her and march her straight into trouble. When I meet you I’m going to grab your arm and holler at the host “where the heck is my friend’s stripper? We ordered a stripper!”
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 amEvery time I meet Jenny Crusie, I reintroduce myself. [Hey, I have at least stopped squealing the fangirl squee around her. I think I'm improving.] [She said she knew who I was, and said nice things about the books. I'm not entirely sure that wasn't in an, "Oh, God, get this woman away from me, let me say something nice so I can back away slowly," moment, but she didn't call security.]
The very first signing I did, I came across a woman whose name was pronounced, “Mary,” but who spelled it, “Mairye” — you just never know.
by toni mcgee causey July 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 amohhh toni….i had that moment last week. I re-met a woman who I not only had met before but had…oh the shame…gone out to dinner with. And yeah, she’s totally famous and all. And I was dying a thousand deaths of shame when my friend said, in a not very convincing voice, “well, I think she might have got highlights, that probably threw you off.” Yeah, I’m totally going with that.
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 amOh Sophie, I LOVE that trick of spilling wine on someone famous. You are brilliant!
by Cyndy Rymer July 23rd, 2009 at 10:15 amDon’t believe everything Sophie says; I was with her at the recent RWA conference, where we both had lunch with a famous author, and she was as charming and natural as could be. She even plugged my soon-to-be-finished book for me! Soph, you rock!
Oh, cyndy, would that be the book you are even as we speak working your ass off to finish???? That one??? Beware, the CBs are on your case!!!! xoxoxo PS *you* were the charming one, remember who she chose to sit with!
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 12:50 pmI probably shouldn’t have been drinking coffee when I read your post, Sophie, I think I ruined my screen.
I’m a total dufus whenever I get around someone important (authors, agents, editors). I start getting shaky, my brain becomes mush, I stumble over my words and sound like I’m from another planet, and a hotflash shoots up from my toes and practically sets my head on fire.
But for me, the worst is public speaking. I’m anxiously awaiting my first novel sale, but I’m going to be a total basket case when I do a book signing. I’ll probably even mispell my own name.
congrats on your book, btw. (see…total dufus)
by Terri Molina July 23rd, 2009 at 10:34 amYou know what’s weird terri? Public speaking doesn’t much bother me at all. Give me a room full of a bazillion strangers and I’m chatting up a storm. It’s the small groups that kill me. You know, where only a few folks see me go down in flames…
by sophie littlefield July 23rd, 2009 at 12:52 pmI love this! At RWA this year I was asked by approximately one gazillion people what my debut novel was about. Not once did I NOT start with “Um.” And I had PRACTICED. I felt so very lame.
“I’m a writer, too….”
by Rachael Herron July 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 amdon’t worry Sophie – I’ll be the one stuttering as I hand you a copy to sign
nice to meet you !
by ban July 23rd, 2009 at 12:16 pmSophie, thanks for the laugh–
Rocki, you sound like me, just yesterday (in a different industry) trying to discuss a particular brand of vodka with a distributor who might have been the competitor…I couldn’t remember! (In my defense, I never know stuff like that, but they expect the marketing people to know EVERYTHING).
A friend used to call those the “dork down the hall” moments…you know, when all you can think is, OMG, this person is amazing and talented and funny and sweet and…OMG, I’m TALKING TO A FAMOUS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My brain shuts off at right about that point. Anything making sense after that is pretty much from years of practice at sounding smarter than I feel (I practiced law before going into marketing…see how that works?).
Of course, I hope to be a famous author myself one day, and I’m really keeping tabs of all this so I’ll recognize it when someone’s brain turns to mush over ME!
by Lorena July 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pmLOL I thought I was the only one to act this way around famous authors. I have this habit of putting them on pedestals and thinking they aren’t human like the rest of us. hahaha
by Jill James July 23rd, 2009 at 2:26 pmsophie daaling! i’m so glad you and toni met and she invited you here. i love your enthusiasm, and i feel bad because as your friend i didn’t think to invite you first! especially with your most awesome book releasing in less than two weeks!
as far as gaffes go? none come to mind. not sure why but i don’t get nervous around too many peeps. that said, if gerard butler walked through my door right now, i’d pass out. and be really pissed i blew it.
by Karin Tabke July 23rd, 2009 at 3:41 pmYou have a wonderful sense of humor and of the ridiculous. That is all you need to survive the gaffs, being struck dumb, spilling wine…. I don’t know if it will get any better, but you are certainly not alone.
by Patricia Barraclough July 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 pmAAugust 9th I am going to CT to a signing with Sherrilyn Kenyon. Anyone want to place bets on how dorky I can be?
by Ev July 24th, 2009 at 10:53 amOh, lord! So I introduce Toni and Sophie via email and they went to the ball and left me at home. Serves me right. I guess I’m coming to RWA next year guys. And I expect a warm thank you for beginning a new friendship. Oh, and I’m asking for a sit down and adult beverage and a bit of talk time. Since we all write humor, I’d also like to be a fly on the wall (no flyswatters anyone).
by andrea July 27th, 2009 at 4:40 pm