 | 22 Jul 09 |
I think I vaguely remember when summer was a time we longed for–a great trip somewhere, lazy days, time in the water, barbecues, playtime with friends . . . obviously, this doesn’t last for anyone that long. Even teachers, these days, are sucked into summer sessions, and the work world hardly recognizes the change of seasons and college quarters may be never ending.
Still, I was excited about summer this year. It meant that Chynna would be home from college, and the water would be warm. All right, I live in South Florida, but we do have seasons, contrary to popular belief. Summer is when you know the water will be warm and that you can actually go in most pools whether they’re heated or not. (Frankly, winter is when we easily recognize the tourists, because they’re in the water. Usually, whether they are or not, we refer to them as Canadians.) Summer is recognized by the fact that you can count on a storm sometime during the day, you can usually count on it going away, and you’re actually excited about it because it means that the air will cool down for about an hour.
This year, it has simply meant that my house and home arena have become Grand Central station. I have been to New York, California, New York, and Washington, Maryland and Key West since summer began. They were all wonderful. Bryee-Annon has come and gone. She’s heading to Hawaii tomorrow. (Why wasn’t that one on MY itinerary?) Chynna has come and gone, with me, and without me. I don’t even know how to make a dinner reservation anymore because I’m not sure where I am or who is with me.
I’m grateful, of course. A lot of these trips have been business, but there’s nothing wrong with business when you get to see a lot of friends, learn great new information, and go interesting places. But coming home isn’t all that evening.
Last night, I walked in, and even for me, it was terrifying. I’m not known for organization or neatness in any way, but the seven suitcases in the living room and the clothing tossed about from all of them was daunting, even for me. I walked into the kitchen and thought that something had been massacred on the breadboard. Turned out just to be a pack of my wigs–borrowed when some of the kids had a costume party in my absence.
They don’t all live at home. I have suffered the empty-next syndrome, but in the midst of it, I’m left wondering how it all comes about. It’s not really an empty next at all. They have moved on, but we are still a storage facility. I trip over things that I mustn’t or somehow can’t get rid of. We are also a place to shop where coupons are not needed. And a kennel. Chynna’s in college, the cat stays with me. The cat’s cat–brought home by another child–also stays with me. The husky did not make it on the invitation to Hawaii.
But still, with them coming and going, with me coming and going, it’s . . . summer. And I do get to see all of them, maybe different places, different times. So, after the initial shock, I’m glad to be home, and I’m glad it’s summer. Seriously, the wigs on the breadboard just aren’t all that weird. And we all know I’m a disaster to begin with, and so, I’m delighted that it’s summer, and I’m even delighted that I’m a warehouse and kennel. It means that all the things that really count are still with me–and I have an excuse for being a walking disaster.
Heather Graham
© 2009 Heather Graham. All rights reserved.
Heather Graham has appeared on Entertainment Tonight, Romantically Speaking, a TV talk show that aired nationwide on the Romance Classics cable channel, and CBS Sunday News. She has been quoted in People and USA Today, been profiled in The Nation, and featured in Good Housekeeping. Her books have been selections for the Doubleday Book Club and the Literary Guild. She has been published across the world in more than 15 languages and has published over 70 titles, including anthologies and short stories.
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Heather! You summed it up so well. I have two daughters, one married and one still in college. But THIS is where they bring all their stuff…their dogs…their whatever. Like you, I never know when I’ll have an extra dog or mountain of laundry.
by Debra Webb July 22nd, 2009 at 6:38 amI needed that. Makes me feel more normal since I am going thru the empty nest thing too. Youngest Dtr. is now in CA. But I have both of her cats. Youngest Son leaves his dog with us all the time and his cat is there full time.
by Ev July 22nd, 2009 at 6:41 amAnd years and years of crap still in the house. Although a bunch of it is from DH’s parents- long dead. I don’t think they will be back, but throw it out. HA!
And a wig on the counter wouldn’t shock me any either.
Glad to know I am not the only one who isn’t a perfect housekeeper. More important things to do.
Also glad to know I’m not the only one. But I now understand a good friend who sold her home when the last kid went off to college, and moved to a two-bedroom apartment with her hubby. No room for the kids’ stuff, and only enough room for one of them to stay with Mom and Dad at a time. Brilliant move!
by Karen in Ohio July 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 amHeather, you make the idea that the children never really leave sound like a good one. For me, not so much. I live for the day of an empty nest. Right now I feel like a failure because they are all still here. Aren’t little birds supposed to fly away? LOL
by Jill James July 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 amWell, mine are only 6 snd 2 so it’s hard to imagine a time when I’ll want them to leave but … wait … they’re fighting over a toy again … nevermind
by ban July 22nd, 2009 at 11:54 amHappy Summer everyone !
I’m with you, Jill! LOL. The DD and her SO are both living under my roof, along with all their stuff. At least the fuzzy critters are all mine. I’m counting the days until I get space back in the garage.
Heather, you presented an amazing class at RWA and the DH and I plotted all the way home. I can’t wait to get started on the new project and hope to have significant work done on it by the time New Orleans rolls around!
by Silver James July 22nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm‘Tis true our kids and their things never really leave and I wouldn’t want them too. Our son has an apartment attached to our garage and his puppy really thinks our house is hers. She does spend more time with us than him. One daughter lives about a quarter mile up the road, and her animals are NOT coming to stay or even visit. Emus, llamas, cow, horses, pig, goats, sheep, chickens, ducks, bunny,dogs and cats – when they need someone to watch them, we drive over to do it. Our oldest daughter has a cat that would die of heart failure if he were exposed to the chaos in this house. We have 3 dogs (plus the grand puppy), two cats, a ball python and peacocks. We have been renovating since 1992 and there are boxes and furniture all over. You sort of get used to it because you have no choice. We are almost done and I so would like to have a house that is presentable. It has been so long. I know most of the stuff is mine, but once I start digging, a lot of their stuff will surface.
by Patricia Barraclough July 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pmWe have two trips coming up and it will be really nice to get away for a while.