 | 25 Jun 09 |
Every once-in-a-while, I’ll see an author post something like, “Oh, by the way, last week I had a book out!” and then, “I forgot all about it.”
I can’t decide if that’s either really really healthy or really really crazy.
Because me? On release day? Trying not to just lie prone on the floor, totally overwhelmed by the feelings. And the questions. It’s like sending your spanky new first-grader to school on the VERY first day, and realizing that the school is MILES AND MILES away and there’s no way for you to get there fast if there’s an emergency and no way for you to sort of shepherd him or her around all day and make sure they make friends and play nice and don’t beat up the annoying kid with the weird hair who’s spitting on everyone from the monkey bars and there’s just NO way for you to control what everyone ELSE thinks about this kid that you love absolutely beyond measure (not that you think the child is perfect, but love isn’t about being PERFECT and you want the WHOLE WORLD to understand that and embrace your child and reassure you that MOM, WE ARE GONNA LOVE HER, TOO.)
I’m not sure how to manage that whole, “Detached, stoic author” persona.
I mean, seriously. My two sons will attest to the fact that I was a bit, ever so slightly, worried about things I could not control. Just a wee bit. Not quite enough to guarantee they would have to have therapy for the rest of their lives. And some people may note that my oldest son is a SWAT police officer and my youngest son just last week (proud mama moment) graduated from the fire department and passed his EMT and is a brand new firefighter, and point out that, hey, Toni? One of your kids is going to run around and have guns aimed at him and the other one is going to run into burning buildings for a living… how do you handle that? And I just want you to know that I have sat here contemplating if it would do any good at all to write to all of the bad guys out there (regarding my first son) and say, “Look, you’d love my son! You would! You don’t want to be a bad guy! Honest! There’s no prestige in it, it’s not gonna get you what you want, so why not retire now! You have a chance to BE somebody! somebody who doesn’t shoot at my son!” And don’t think I haven’t tried to think of excuses to send to my youngest son’s fire chief. “Dear Fire Chief: Jake cannot run into burning buildings today. He has an allergy to ash. And dying. Please let him wash the truck.”
[True story: when my oldest son started college... yes, college... on the very first day, there was some sort of paperwork snafu because we didn't have proof of his immunizations. We'd lost some of the records during a move and that doctor's office had gone out of business, and we'd dealt with that a long time ago by me writing a note to his principal in high school, so I offered to write him a note. He thought I was joking. He said, "Mom, I'm in COLLEGE. You cannot write a note to the university, "Please let Luke attend college, I promise he won't make anyone sick today."]
[I still think it would've worked.]
Ironically, I raised really strong, determined (stubborn) young men who would go do what they wanted to go do, in spite of my mentally extrapolating every possible worst-case-scenario that might occur. And I encouraged them to do this. I wanted them to grow up to be independent men, men who could hold their own in the world, no matter what life threw at them. Men who will protect others. I’m really very proud of them both.
And it wouldn’t have happened, if I hadn’t also been the type of person who encouraged them to take risks. Try new things. (While worrying!) (Their dad, too — he is big on the encouragement.)
That’s the funny thing about being a parent–you can recognize within yourself the worry and the fear for your child, and learn how to handle it, while encouraging them to go on out there in the world and try. I knew that they needed to push their limits–and that would mean failing sometimes–if they were ever going to discover what they were capable of doing. I knew that they needed clear-sightedness, if that’s such a word–the ability to look at the tasks, the consequences, the ability to anticipate the consequences and make adjustments. Strategy, planning. Never defeat, because you’re only really defeated if you don’t try. You may not win everything, every time, but you’re not defeated, unless you give up.
And that’s just part of the thing you have to do, as a parent–encourage the kid to go out there, in spite of your worries. See them grow, see them accomplish dreams.
Same with books. You nudge them out the door, feeling like you’re just not finished with them (you are never REALLY finished with a book–it’s just time to let go). You do all that you can do, you worry, but you let it go out into the world. And you hope it makes friends and that everyone thinks it’s pretty and likes its personality, too.
So my new baby going out next TUESDAY is GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE GUNS. Here’s the cover:
Brief Summary:
Accused of one man’s murder, Bobbie Faye’s on the run. She has to find some diamonds, figure out the motives of the dead-sexy FBI agent, and avoid her detective ex-boyfriend before the deadline arrives and the diamonds disappear…
So TUESDAY, JUNE 30th is the day I will be nudging my baby out the door, into bookstores. [And if you read this book two in the trade version, there are a lot of differences from that version to this one. I got to add in stuff that was left out during a disastrous galley phase that made both me and my editor go a little nuts. So EXTRAS! WOOT!]
Meanwhile, I’m going to be over here doing a few things to keep me occupied, like basking in the LSU NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WIN over Texas A&M (um, that would be LONGHORNS, which I knew, thanks to Silver for catching that… I blame the morning! ugh!) last night. I’ll be exercising. Writing on the next book, which I freaking LOVE now, because I finally figured out some major stuff. Thank goodness. Reading. And randomly noting strange things, like I twittered last night:
Dear badass biker w/tattoos on the Harley. Scary skull & crossbones on helmet? Definitely tough. Red fake fur backpack with tassels? Not so much.
Soooo, my question for you is, how do you handle stress? Do worry? Or are you one of those genetic mutants who just don’t ever freak out about anything? If you had kids, how did you handle the stress? OR, as a kid, what was the most stressful thing you put your mom through?
Toni McGee Causey lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She and her husband, Carl, are licensed general contractors and, in order to support her writing addition, they run their own company, specializing in civil construction.
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Huge congrats on the release!
Way to go, a SWAT officer & a firefighter.
W/ my 5, I’m constantly worried that something is going to happen. I already know it can and I’m watching out trying to avoid “the other shoe from dropping”.
The oldest boy is 14 and wants to join the Army like his father. I’m hoping by the time he turns 18 he’ll have changed his mind, but if not I will give him my full support while being scared inside.
Unfortunately I use food to deal w/ stress ever since I quit smoking 15 yrs. ago.
If I ever am fortunate enough to get a release date, I sure as hell wouldn’t forget it. I would be jumping up and down all day, shouting it to the world or at least the neighbors.
by HollyD June 25th, 2009 at 6:56 amThanks, Holly! And yeah, I’ve done that, too, too many times to count (re: using food for comfort). I’m trying to get back into the exercise every day mode. Not always successful at that!
by Toni McGee Causey June 25th, 2009 at 8:21 amI have ten months to stress. I just got my release date (April 30, 2010). It’s worse than being pregnant! And I have no excuse for Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey or Cold Stone’s Cakebatter in a chocolate dipped waffle cone. Wait. There’s a Sonic around the corner. I can get an M&M Blast…
Wait. What was the question? Kids. Stress, Worry. I only have one. She’s studying to be a museum curator. Works for me. Unless those heavy boxes down in archives falls on her head. Or she gets a paper cut that gets infected with staph or…or…or…
You have sons to be proud of, Toni! Thank them for their service. Having been both an assistant fire chief and a crime analyst/CSI, I can attest that they are two of the good guys!
A week? I need to double check B&N and see if I’ve preordered. I definitely want the bonus material! Hang in there.
Oh, and LSU beat Texas. Not A&M. The Aggies might come huntin’…just sayin’. (I’m an Oklahoma State girl by marriage so…)
by Silver James June 25th, 2009 at 8:00 amHoly cats, Silver, I cannot believe I made that A&M mistake! Thank you for catching it. (I fixed it now up there.) Although all those Texas teams look alike. (ducking, running)
And congratulations on the release date! Yay! (and yes, it is worse than being pregnant)
by Toni McGee Causey June 25th, 2009 at 8:22 am*bwahaha* Can you tell I’m deep in edits and continuity check? All those Texas teams DO look alike.
*ducks and runs with you*
by Silver James June 25th, 2009 at 8:38 amI’m sure your baby will do really well. I may have mentioned earlier that I just finished Bobbi Faye’s very (very, very, very) bad day and I LOVED IT! Stephanie Plum look out, Bobbi Faye is on the loose. I have pre-ordered my copy of Girls Just Wanna Have Guns and the third book that’s coming out that I just can’t remember the name of right now.
Sounds like you have 2 excellent boys. I have a girl and a boy and I worry ALL THE TIME. I’m pretty sure it comes with the title “Mom”. How do I handle it. Silently. I sit and worry (not constantly but enough) in silence. Hoping that the little comic strip bubble doesn’t pop over my head.
Best of luck to you with your new release, I’m sure it will be wonderful!
by Erika June 25th, 2009 at 8:06 amThanks, Erika! I’m so thrilled you enjoyed it and yay! (Hey, I have a hard time with the titles, too.
)
LOL on the bubble dialog above your head. Man, if people could only really see what we are thinking in those moments. (We’d probably be toast.)
by Toni McGee Causey June 25th, 2009 at 8:23 amWow, love that cover! It doesn’t look like anything else out there right now, which is always a good thing.
by Louisa Edwards June 25th, 2009 at 9:04 amWow, love that cover! It doesn’t look like anything else out there right now, which is always a good thing.
by Louisa Edwards June 25th, 2009 at 11:51 amBTW I love your blog!
Great cover, great title, Toni! Mine comes out that day too! Maybe we can rock them together!
by Debra webb June 25th, 2009 at 7:18 pmStress – I internalize it. I’ve always been a nervous eater. Unfortunately it shows. I tend to be calm on the outside and a wreck on the inside. It is hard sending them out there, children or books, but you’ve done your best as a parent and/or author. You just have to believe your love and your efforts have made them strong and they can handle it.
by Patricia Barraclough June 25th, 2009 at 7:33 pmI love that cover, too, T, and I have no doubt it’s going to kick some serious butt. The package is irresistable, and so is the story inside.
Release day? Meh. I’m kind of one who doesn’t really notice. Nothing *happens* on release day except that urge to cruise every Wal-Mart in a 40 mile radius and stand like a ninny in the book aisle. I believe the Wednesday following release day is much more stressful.
When I am stressed out, I do what I’m doing right now. I get out of my tangled sheets, tiptoe to my office, and make a list of every single thing that I can possibly do to reduce my stress level. (Or read blogs.) Once there’s a list, I can handle it.
But best of all, to relax on Release Day…go write your next book. And breathe, girl. These books rock.
by Roxanne St. Claire June 25th, 2009 at 8:45 pm