 | 19 May 09 |
I’m going to drag us back to craft in this blog, mostly because I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately. In the past few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to do two things I love almost as much as writing — that would be reading and talking. The reading’s been a blast. I’ve been chopping away at a toppling TBR pile, enjoying every minute. I’ve also been giving a lot of workshops, since I stayed off the teaching circuit for almost a year, but am now fulfilling all of the promises I made in 2008 to speak in 2009.
I love giving writing workshops, I cannot lie. For one thing, I’m a workshop junkie. I’ve listened to so many RWA workshops while I walk my dog that she could probably write a decent book by now. It is the rare workshop that doesn’t teach me something, even if I already know it. Sometimes a writing technique just resonates more because it hits the note that is falling flat for me at that particular moment, be it characterization, pacing, plotting, or revisions, so I usually choose my listening material based on whatever aspect of writing is testing my soul that day. I love keynotes and chats, as well. I can’t tell you the number I’ve times I’ve walked around the lake with Nora Roberts, Jayne Ann Krentz, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, and Suzanne Brockmann. It’s like my grown up version of imaginary friends.
In addition to being a workshop addict, I always learn from developing and presenting a writing class. I’m no expert on writing, hold no PhD in literature, have no credentials other than twenty-four books completed and sold. But, when forced to step out of the boundaries of what I do organically and translate that into “five easy steps to creating a hot hero” (I don’t really have that workshop, so please don’t ask for it), I learn a lot about my own process and why it works, or fails, for me. Sometimes, that can help other writers.
One of my more popular workshops is about scene structure, playfully called “Breathing Life Into A Dying Scene.” I think writers respond well to this workshop because I bare the soft underbelly of my worst writing by handing out a “before” scene, fresh out of the computer, warts and all. (Yes, Virginia, every first draft is shit-tay.) Then I take the writers through the process of identifying the characteristics of a sick scene, suggest multiple non-invasive quick fixes, and, in keeping with the medical metaphor, teach them how to conduct their own patient evaluation before undertaking drastic scene-ectomies. I suggest lots of fixes, and, when we’ve finished, we read the scene as it was published. I humbly say that the difference between first draft dreck and what was published is pretty remarkable.
After one of my workshops a few weeks ago, an attendee wrote to thank me, telling her I’d given her the tools to figure out what’s wrong with her manuscript. She said that “just the patient evaluation questions you included on the handout were worth the price of admission.” Considering the workshop was free to RWA members, I’m not sure how to take that, but I decided that the list would make a fun blog topic for today.
A “dying” scene (as opposed to a death scene — a whole different subject here at Murder She Writes) is one where nothing happens. Oh, it might seem like a lot is going on, but nothing emotional happens (meaning there is no “change” for the character), or there is no conflict, or the plot hasn’t been furthered. In other words (and, yes, this happens more than you can imagine), there’s no real compelling reason for that scene in the book. Don’t get me wrong — the author may think there’s a reason, such as 1) to show something to one of the characters or 2) to recap what happened and how a character feels about it or 3) to deliver backstory or 4) to move the characters from point A to point B because she needs to get them to point B for the next “real” scene or 5) she planned on it ever since she decided to write this book and that scene is going in, damn it.
There are a lot of dying scenes littering the hard drives of writers everywhere. Sadly, some of them even make it to publication. But when I close my doc for the day and head out to the car line or the kitchen (in search of wine) or the pool (to drink said wine), I know in my heart when something’s just not quite right with that scene.
If I have that gut-level doubt but am not sure what is wrong, I ask myself the following questions:
• What is the character’s goal in the scene and what does he/she do to achieve it?
• What is the plot point or reason the scene is being included in the book?
• Could this scene take place in a more interesting/conflict-rich setting?
• How is the story’s conflict highlighted in this scene?
• Is the character behaving in a believable, admirable, realistic way?
• Is the scene “unified” in time or does it just take the reader hurling from hour to hour, day to day?
• What is the “disaster” of the scene? How do things get worse or more complicated for the character?
• What questions does this scene raise?
• What percentage of the narrative/dialogue is backstory or introspection vs. forward-moving storytelling?
• Does the voice sound flat? Do the characters suddenly sound like someone else? Is the narrative off key?
• Does the scene showcase the “more” factor of the book — more suspense, more sensuality, more grit, more humor, more heartstrings — whatever it is that makes a book “more” than the competition?
When all these questions are answered, I usually know if I should keep or cut the scene, and why. So, how about you, writers? What questions would you add to that list? And readers, what “loses” you in a scene — what makes it die on the vine?
The scene I use in my workshop is one that readers often write and comment about: the “steam room scene” in French Twist. Wanna read it? One commenter will win a copy of this out of print book. I’ll announce a winner late tonight who will be picked randomly, or by my daughter who will select a name based on some obscure reason like “I had a fish named Lulu. Let’s take her.” And as a bonus, I’ll include the “before” scene, with handwritten notes, warts and all, along with the two page handout of the workshop.
So, tell me about your dying scenes (or, readers, some that have nearly killed you!) and what medicine brings them back to life! But be warned, I may put it in my next workshop…
© 2009, Roxanne St. Claire. All rights reserved.
Roxanne St. Claire is a New York Times bestselling, RITA-Award winning author of nearly thirty novels of romance and suspense. The author of two popular romantic suspense series, The Bullet Catchers and The Guardian Angelinos, Roxanne is hard at work on new books for 2012, which will include the launch of a contemporary series, Barefoot Bay, and her first young adult novel, Don't You Wish, and a brand new stand-alone romantic suspense, Space in His Heart. A five-time RITA nominee, Roxanne's books have won the National Readers Choice Award, the Daphne Du Maurier Award, the Maggie Award, the Booksellers Best, the Book Buyers Best, The HOLT Medallion, multiple Awards of Excellence, and Borders "Top Pick"" for Romance in 2007. She lives in Florida with her husband, two teenagers, and one impossibly cute Australian Terrier named Pepper.
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I’ve never read French Twist. Just saying. And as a professional workshop attendee, I can say you give GREAT workshops!
This is such great information. Thanks for sharing!
by Kristen May 19th, 2009 at 5:42 amPoor Kristen – She wakes up every Saturday morning for the past few weeks and wonders, “Where will Rocki drag me today and when, dear Lord, will she get rid of the Shaggin’ Wagon she calls a vehicle???” You deserve a copy of French Twist just for your loyal friendship. But can you get me a cup of coffee first?
xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 6:54 amRocki “Cove Springs” St. Claire
I’m going to have to remember next time not to read you when I have a mouthful of cereal! When I read the basis for your daughter’s choice I almost choked from the laughter.
I have a scene (the ‘all important one’) where the H/Hn meet for the first time. It has gone nowhere and frankly, if they never met it would be okay with me at this point. So I’m going to apply your questions and see what I come up with.
As for scenes I can’t stand, Hamlet’s soliloquy is awesome, but I don’t need that between two characters who the writer put in conversation just to fill in all the blank spots and plot holes. Drives me insane and often, that book becomes a wallbanger for me.
Thanks!
by nightsmusic May 19th, 2009 at 5:59 amSorry for the cereal spew. Oh, the first meet is SOOOO important. I have been known to write that scene three dozen times. Think 1) conflict and 2) sexual tension. If you can get those two across in dialogue, action, introspection, and “voice” then you will nail it. Think “undercurrent” of push/pull. I just love when an author gets that just right. (Like Kresley Cole, Linda Howard, Lorraine Heath, to name a few from my recent reading binge.) Good luck!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 6:59 amThree dozen times? O_o I’m not quite there yet, but it’s been at least six or seven. *sigh*
Conflict, sexual tension, conflict, sexual tension…
I think I need to post a sticky on my laptop screen with that.
After I finish cleaning off the cereal
by nightsmusic May 19th, 2009 at 7:09 amHow funny — I wonder how many of us have trouble with h/h’s meeting for the first time!
I had to rewrite the last one several times on my latest MS — they just didn’t like each other enough. I finally got it when I changed POV to the hero — but it took totally throwing out chapters, and rewriting from scratch!
Right now, on my current WIP – I’ve got a scene where the heroine has to get on a plane and the hero is going to follow her. But they won’t STOP talking. I need some ACTION! Maybe, rethinking it, something needs to propel them out of the scene. There’s already been a murder, a ransacked apartment…
How does one LEAVE a stellar first meet? I’ve got these two together, now I need to progress the action! what to do?
Ashley
by Ashley Ludwig May 19th, 2009 at 8:01 amHow does one LEAVE a stellar first meet? On a hook so enticing that the reader has no choice but to turn the page for more.
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 12:14 pmThank you for this post! You mention how sometimes a workshop resonates because it speaks to a current issue, well that’s what this post does for me. As I’m plowing through getting my first draft down, I wrote a scene yesterday that is missing something…so am going to bookmark this post and refer to it when it’s time to fix things.
by pam claughton May 19th, 2009 at 7:00 amSo glad it helped, Pam! I live to resonate?
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 7:50 amVery timely post for me to read, Miss Rocki. As you know! In fact, the first twenty pages of my current book are under serious revision right now, so these questions are all good for me to think about as I move forward.
And I think I should get the copy of French Twist because ‘Lulu’ is my actual nickname. I went by that for the first twelve years of my life!
by Louisa Edwards May 19th, 2009 at 7:18 amI knew we’d have a lot of Lulus today. I just knew it. Lulu Creativity will count toward the winner, methinks.
xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 7:51 amLulu St. Claire
Hi Rocki,
by Dena May 19th, 2009 at 7:21 amI got to go to one of your workshops at the RT convention in 2006. You did a great job at that one. The reason I went was to hear what you had to say. I don’t think I will ever get a book on paper, but if I ever decide to write a book, I know who I will be bugging for advise.
You might have a book in you yet, Dena. If so, it’ll be Hot and Funny, like the author!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 7:53 amThis is just what I needed! I am stuck on a scene that I wrote last week, it just doesn’t work and I am not sure why, but I cant move on from it. So tonight when I get home (I wish I did not need a job to pay the bills) before birthday cake (okay it might be after) I am going to ‘conduct a patient evaluation before undertaking drastic scene-ectomie’
YAY! Now I might actually move on from this scene. It has been driving me nuts, I tried working on it all weekend long – its one of those things that even when I am not sitting at the computer staring at it trying to fix it its going around in my head trying to fix itself.
by Tiffany May 19th, 2009 at 7:32 amIs that a sneaky way to tell us it’s your BIRTHDAY, Tiffany!!!!???? (Or could be a very creative way to grab the attention of my 11 year old daughter/winner picker.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 7:54 amThe scene killers for me are when I realize I have spent two pages describing something that could have been described in a phrase–that’s when I realize I can “see” the setting, but not what’s important about the scene, which is the conflict and how the stakes will be raised by the end of the scene. [In book one, I took a page to describe an action and my editor wrote in the margin, "Do you mean U-turn?" TWO WORDS. And I wanted to plant my head on my desk, because yeah, I meant U-turn.]
by toni mcgee causey May 19th, 2009 at 7:37 amAnd I hit send too soon… HAPPY LAUNCH DAY to Allison. I have FATAL SECRETS and it is damned good.
by toni mcgee causey May 19th, 2009 at 7:38 amThanks for the reminder, Toni! (U Turn story is so funny, and so you.) Allison, get your head out of the what-if spreadsheets and join the fun! FATAL SECRETS is going to be a huge success!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 7:55 amHi and thanks for this very much. I’m writing my first romantic comedy and having a blast with it. However, this made me think of how even when the main objective is to have fun and hopefully made my readers laugh I need to keep the advancement of the storyline moving forward. Yes, I can see where some chapters could be cut with no lost in the plot line advancing. I’m now trying to decide if I should cut them.
by Johnny ( Sir John ) Ray May 19th, 2009 at 8:10 amOh, this is a tough one. I’m dear friends with romantic comedy writer Cami Dalton (find her, read her, laugh your a## off) and she often wails about restructuring an entire scene around a joke she doesn’t want to lose. As you might imagine, she and I don’t always see eye to eye on this, but it really doesn’t matter, because I’m doubled over in laughter just listening to her describe it.
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 8:33 amI followed Toni here (from Twitter)
Great Post. I’ve never had the pleasure of attending one of your workshops although I saw you on a panel in San Francisco last year (was it last year??)
I’m currently working on book three (going on three years now *sigh*) and the one scene I can’t seem to move away from is actually the start of Act 2. I’ve written the scene over and over and can’t seem to put a finger on what’s wrong. So, thank you for the list of questions. I’m going to refer to them for all of the scenes I’ve written so far. The book is a mainstream mystery/suspense about a missing pregnant woman and her sister’s determination to prove the woman’s husband murdered her.
~~Lulu~~
by Terri Molina May 19th, 2009 at 9:00 amokay, not my real name, but hey, if it gets me the books you can call me whatever you want. haha
Dear Lulu Molina, maybe what’s troubling you is that you’re kind of seeing this scene as “the start of Act II.” Instead, why don’t you just approach as the next natural thing that should happen in your story? You might feel almost let down because you have this expectation that “Act II” should open a certain way, but in the reader’s mind, it’s just the next chapter. (Unless you’re writing a play.)
Maybe, without realizing it, you’ve adjusted the voice or pace or narrative somehow to be “Act II-ish” instead of keeping the pace you set up in the first part of the book. And suddenly, it feels not like an new “Act” but a new book.
Make sense? I could be way off base, but just the fact that you see the troublesome scene as something so specific as “the beginning of Act II” was a red flag for me.
Good luck!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 12:19 pmAnd that is why you’re multi-published and I’m not. ;-P
Thank you, Roxanne. I think you’re right, I have it in my head that it’s the second act (in a three act structure) because one of my readers mentioned it was the start of Act 2. Then I got all twisted in trying to make it a 3 act story.
At the moment I’m re-reading Hallie Ephron’s Writing and Selling Your Mystery Novel, hoping it will get me back on track with the book and knock the fear of finishing it out of my head.
by Terri Molina May 19th, 2009 at 12:59 pmGreat blog, Roxanne! And I’ve loved following the comments — it sounds like everyone is putting your advice right to work. I have to echo the sentiment about Cami’s books — she’s a riot and her books are great for those days when you need a laugh, or a hot love scene. Like today, when it’s dreary and raining in ‘sunny’ Florida.
by Leigh Duncan May 19th, 2009 at 9:18 amLeigh – man, it is dreary out there, isn’t it? What happened to Florida??? You know, all we do is whine about having the same weather all the time, then when we get some, we whine about that.
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pmI was writing a really short story for a contest. I needed a scene to show the sexual tension between Anna and David, but it had to short and to the point because I had several more scenes to write. This scene stopped my creative juices and stalled the story.
At this point of the story, David happens across a car wreck on an isolated highway on the way to his mountain vacation home. He finds Anna, injured and running from an abusive ex-boyfriend. His home is closer than the hospital so he takes her there to take care of her injuries, a hurt shoulder and headache from the airbag deflation.
I needed a scene to show the sexual tension between them and I couldn’t figure out how to that. I threw out several ideas ranging from Anna giving an appreciative kiss to them going for it on the hallway the second they get there. Didn’t work because that didn’t fit the characters’ profiles I had in mind.
The secondary problem I had was how to describe David’s cabin in as few words as possible. I didn’t need the grand tour, but enough to give the reader something.
After musing for a couple of days, I came up with this. Earlier, David showed Anna to her room with en-suite bathroom then left her.
Here’s what happened next though I ran out of time at that point so it’s not as polished as I wanted.
Anna took her time. She was impressed with the bright floral motif in her room. Definitely a womanly touch unlike the rest of the cabin which was dark and woody.
She pulled on one of David’s white shirts. It hit right at mid-thigh, but she couldn’t do anything else with it. She needed to walk around to wake up so she wandered into the hallway.
She stopped mid-step and took in his body. Broad shoulders for my fingers to wander around, ripped abs as multiple speed bumps for my tongue, lightly hairy chest to twirl my fingers around and teasing downward to a towel. Think off. Think off. Why the hell isn’t he dropping the towel?
She shook her head. Even in this dream, I can’t even take off that bottom towel.
“You’re not dreaming.” He moved the wet towel off his shoulder.
“What?”
His hands went to the lower towel, to the edges that were tucked together. “Speed bumps… got to go slow then.”
“I said that out loud?”
“Hell yeah. You definitely know how to turn me on.” He thumbed the tucked edge up, but held the towel in place.
Embarrassed she fled down the hall.
She ran into the first room she came to and locked the door. A library with a desk.
She sat at the oak table. Her fingers played over the silver letter opener then the stationary pad in front of her. A memory played in the back of her mind. The paper was familiar, but she couldn’t remember from where.
“Sorry about that. I was just kidding. I’ll be in my office if you need me,” he yelled through the door.
She decided to stay there for a while.
Now the scene moved the story forward and I was able to write the rest of it. I’m thinking of expanding this short story. It’s got possibilities. Probably going to be one one of the contenders for this year’s NaNo.
by Cassie May 19th, 2009 at 9:53 amCassie – thanks for sharing! Here’s what jumped out at me right away. The plot point, as you describe it, is to “show sexual tension.” That’s NOT a plot point, in my opinion. (Again, this is only my take on it – will welcome others!) That’s part of your storytelling technique, but not enough of a REASON for the scene.
Neither is describing his cabin – nothing in that will further the story or complicate it for the character. (Unless, in the description, she discovers something about him that will heighten the conflict. Oh, he collects watercolors and…there is one painted by her estranged father! Signed and numbered – the only one of his collection she’s missing!)
A plot point, as I understand it and use it, is what happens to change the situation (usually worse) for the character or move the story further along.
In your scene, I’m a little confused, but it appears she comes out of the bathroom (do we really need to know it’s floral? why?) in his shirt and sees him. But I’m a little confused about the action and dialogue, but that might be because we just have a little piece of the scene. Is he teasing her? Is he threatening to drop the towel? That’s kind of the plot point to me – heightening the conflict of how much she wants him to, but doesn’t want him to know how much she wants him to.
If that’s the point of the scene – establishing the nature of the push/pull between them, then don’t let it end so soon! Don’t have her run embarrassed – no matter how hard it is for you to write this scene.
Go further. Break the edges of your envelope. Gimme two pages of dialogue and daring, give me his challenge and her spitfire. Have her get so damn sick of his teasing that she yanks the towel off herself and stuns the heck out of him. Let him hit some of her character hot buttons so we squirm with her. Or let HIM be embarrassed by the effect she has on him. Or not. (I don’t know the character.)
But here’s why that scene crumbles – it’s a pivotal moment of tension and interplay between the two of them, and you stop it with only one line of dialogue. Also, just “showing” something isn’t really a plot point – there has to be a change, a disaster, a complication, an event, or the promise of one very soon, or you’ll lose the reader.
Me? I love me a good towel scene. Give me more!!!!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pmThanks Rocki! You hit it right on the head. It’s not much more polished then a first draft.
I called this “Zero Hour” because of the ticking clock with the deadline closing in. Each scene has a time stamp. The story starts at “T minus 19 Hours 10 Minutes.” The towel scene’s at “T minus 15 Hours 41 minutes.”
Here’s a snippet of the beginning.
T minus 19 Hours 10 minutes
“A dark winding road. The middle of the night after a torrential downpour. A crazed serial killer on the loose,” he muttered before he took a sip of his cold coffee. “All I need is a damsel in distress to make it a reality.”
“I hate long driving.” He eased off the accelerator as he rounded the mountainside road. “That’s a crappy horror movie. Even my imagination is exhausted.”
Steam filled the air from a car crashed into a copse of trees. He blinked his eyes then slowed down. “Imagining again?”
There’s a couple of scenes between this and the towel scene.
T minus 11 Hours 46 Minutes
Anna closed her phone. She shoved it into her pocket then walked back to his office.
She leaned against the doorjamb. “Bad phone call?” She stuck her hands into the robe she had found in the library.
David looked at her then at the phone. “Just work and unnecessary to get me involved.” He dropped it back into its cradle. “Want to get something to eat?”
“You can order takeout out here? How long is it going to take?”
He smiled. “No. I cook.”
“This I got to see.”
“As you wish.”
“You cook and I’ll wash.”
“No, milady, I’ll do both.”
She looked at him, one brow lifted. “Paper plates?”
“Fine china just like you.”
“I don’t break easily.” She casually looked around the spartan room.
“You’re as beautiful. You’re as precious. That’s what I think. That’s what you’ll always be.”
Her attention snapped back to him. “Poet too?”
“Just my heart speaking.” He stood up and pushed away from him desk. “You’re the one that brings life into this room.”
“I think you need a new interior decorator.”
“I’m not here that often.”
“So the guest room I’m in?”
“I bought it as is. You’re the only woman that’s been here.”
She looked around the room again. Nothing personal in this room. No pictures. No awards. Nothing about the man. “This year?”
“Ever.”
“You could have any woman you want.”
He nodded. “Haven’t found one worth bringing here.” He wanted her, but she didn’t want to hear that.
“Why am I here?”
“I never said you couldn’t leave. You’re not my damn prisoner.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Look I know you’re hungry. Let’s get something to eat.”
“I didn’t mean to get in your personal life.” She ran her hand against his arm. “I’m sorry. I’m grateful you found me and brought me here. I’m not good at censoring what I feel.”
He lowered his hand. “What you see is what I am. Nothing more.”
She held his hands. “That’s where you’re wrong. This room is not you. You’re more than this. I saw it earlier and I see it now.” She let them go then smiled. “I want to see you cook.”
“As you wish.”
He ushered her toward the kitchen, his hand on the small of her back. For the first time in years, she felt safe.
T minus 8 Hours 22 Minutes
Anna pushed her plate away. “Give it up. You went to culinary school, didn’t you?” She couldn’t believe she ate everything he put in front of her. It had been a long time since someone cooked for her.
“I learned everything from Grandma plus a few twists of my own.” He took a sip of his red wine.
She looked down at the empty space and fidgeted with the tablecloth.
His hand covered her right hand. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s nothing.” She wiped a tear. “Nothing but memories.”
“Who was he?”
Her head snapped up. “My fiancé. Five years ago, but it feels like yesterday.”
“You don’t have to talk about it now.”
Her eyes lost focus as she looked at him. He didn’t want to hear this. He wasn’t good at comforting. Her tears ripped at his heart.
“We were at our favorite Italian restaurant. He proposed to me right in front of everyone. I was so happy. We were happy.”
He placed both his hands on top of hers. “Anna stop. Please, stop. Not now.”
“Shrimp scampi over fettuccine, Caesar salad, and Merlot. We didn’t wait for dessert.”
“Exactly what we just had.” He got up and knelt beside her. “Anna, stop. Don’t go any further.”
Dead eyes met his.
He repressed a shudder. “Anna, it’s okay. That’s enough.”
“He pushed me out of the way of a SUV. He died in my arms. I got a funeral as a wedding present.”
He shot up and backed away. “I’m sorry.”
She wanted to tell him more, but he ran out of the room. He didn’t stop until he hit his office door. He glanced back, but she wasn’t following. He locked himself in, berating how stupid he was acting.
Yeah, I messed up on the wine choice. Sad since the Food Network is my go to channel when nothing’s on.
BTW there’s a hit on one of them and the assassin’s really close by. I wrote two endings. One’s got death and explosions. The second one’s got a HEA. Guess which ending the contest readers loved?
by Cassie May 20th, 2009 at 7:46 pmWow – good stuff! I like it!
Did you send me your snail mail so I can send you the prize? I don’t think I received it yet – roxannestc@cfl.rr.com.
xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire May 22nd, 2009 at 5:46 amRocki,
Thank you again.
I sent it a couple of days ago. I’ll resend it. I’m using a Yahoo account.
Having fun at Medieval Times?
by Cassie May 22nd, 2009 at 6:54 amFabulous, as always, Rocki. I remember the steam room scene, and you’re absolutely right that the difference between first draft and revised scene were as dramatic as night and day.
by C.L. Wilson May 19th, 2009 at 10:23 amUmmm, Rocki great post and you can probably see the wheels turning in my head as you’re reading my comment. Feeling like a trip to TARA in…Oh September???
I’d love to be in this workshop and Kristin, girl you ROCK too! Actually, thinking about the two of you together is dangerous. Fun, but dangerous.
by Vicki May 19th, 2009 at 11:10 amI think I’ve given this workshop at TARA already! Not that I need any excuse to make that trip. Oh, Kristen! Load up the minivan, mama, we’re goin’ west.
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 12:37 pmGreat tips, Rocki! I’m going to use them all as I try to bring my book to life. LOVE the concept of this book I’m writing, but my execution (so far) lacks that spark. I just deleted a scene that was “cute” but didn’t really do much for the story. Now I’m going back with my machete to look for more victims…ah…scenes.
by Jen Lyon May 19th, 2009 at 11:25 amYay! *copies and pastes madly* I missed you in Dallas, and I’ll miss you in Ohio. Are you on a panel at RWA? *wails* I can’t remember! Though I owe you an appletini. I’m currently in that luxurious position of adding cut scenes back in. The MS went from 84K to 60K and is currently about 70K with 80 some pages to revise. Not all the cut scenes made it back in but the ones that have keep the rhythm of the book from being so choppy. (The editor who turned it down commented on this. I agreed – for obvious reasons. LOL) I’m stabling this list to my forehead, Rocki. Thanks!
*waves to daughter and offers a bribe of homemade snickerdoodle cookies – the big, soft giant ones*
by Silver James May 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pmBribing the 11 year old! I *like* it.
I am not doing a panel or workshop at RWA this year, sorry! I do wish you could come to Ohio in September. We’re just going to have to get you to Florida, Silver J.
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 12:39 pmI’m hoping to be in New Orleans in September and OKRWA is having our retreat that month, too.
I will be back to Florida sooner than later! And I’ll see you (hopefully) at the National Readers Choice Awards reception at RWA. Rocki finalled, folks. A couple of times!
by Silver James May 19th, 2009 at 12:44 pmLate to the party. ::sigh::
I saw this workshop in Dallas in 2004 and still refer to it. I have too many eating scenes in the book sitting at Harlequin. And I have too many scenes in my heroine’s office. And I have a soliloquy in chapter 12 that’s not as bad now as when I first wrote it. Now, there’s a scene at a mountain cabin and another at a charity ball that I love. But it’s a first book. ::shrug:: I learned a lot writing it.
by Marilyn May 19th, 2009 at 6:03 pmNot too late to the party, Marilyn! I just watched AI (no spoilers for the West Coast) and Mia promised to pick a winner tomorrow morning before school, so we’re not shutting down yet.
xoxo
by Roxanne St. Claire May 19th, 2009 at 6:27 pmFYI for all the CASTLE fans here, ABC has renewed it. 9 CST/10 EST on Mondays this fall. I’m psyched!
by Silver James May 19th, 2009 at 6:47 pmCastle renewed! Oh there IS a God in heaven.
by Marilyn May 19th, 2009 at 9:14 pmWOO HOO! Love Castle. Thanks for sharing Silver!
by Erika May 20th, 2009 at 9:42 amThank you. This season I drooled over Gilles then jumped over to Jack then to Nathan. Gotta love Mondays this season.
by Cassie May 20th, 2009 at 7:23 pmGreat post, Rocki! I always, always, always hate those first 50 to 100 pages of a new book where the characters and the setting are introduced–especially the h/h to each other. They’re like pulling teeth!
by Debra Webb May 19th, 2009 at 10:06 pmall good tips and sounds good
by k May 19th, 2009 at 10:41 pmwant to read that hot scene
love yoru books
WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!
Mia made her choice with one pass through the comments, unswayed by bribes of cookies and faux Lulus. The kid’s tough, I tell you. She chose “the lady who had the nerve to put her writing up.” That would be Cassie! Thank you so much for sharing your work, Cassie, and congratulations, you are our winner!
Now, off to sixth grade for the little judge.
Cassie, if you will email me at roxannestc@cfl.rr.com with a snail mail addy and French Twist (along with the handouts from the workshop and the before/after scene) is all yours.
Thank you! And I hope you didn’t mind my comments on the towel scene!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 20th, 2009 at 5:22 amRocki and Mia,
Thank you. I love a towel scene too and I’d probably have gone with either of the choices you had, but the with contest forum’s rating, I couldn’t.
Louisa,
by Cassie May 20th, 2009 at 7:22 pmThank you. I’ll be waiting to see if an ARC of your book lands in my bookstore. ARCs are such a hot commodity in my store. Grab them when you see them. LOL
Well deserved win, Cassie! Although I resent being called a faux Lulu. I’m a REAL Lulu, I swear!
Also, wanted to just pop back and say that reading this post totally revived a scene I was in the middle of struggling with and helped me push forward. I ruthlessly excised the bit that wasn’t working and write ten pages in two hours like water gushing from a broken dam! Was awesome. Many thanks, Rocki!
by Louisa Edwards May 20th, 2009 at 9:16 amI’m so sorry, Lulu. You ARE the real deal. And I’m delighted to be your muse! Well done!!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 20th, 2009 at 9:19 amI know you already picked a winner, but I hoped by stating my problem, I could see an answer, lol.
I have a scene in Ch 6 that has me stopped with revisions. It comes after an intense fight scene, and most of it takes place in an RV, and delivers a bunch of backstory–and I hate the darn chapter. But it also is the bridge to show why she’s going to Scotland, so I don’t see how to cut it. I bang my head on the laptop every time I open the chapter, trying to see what I need to do.
ok-still waiting for inspiration to strike!
by Valerie Bower May 20th, 2009 at 9:57 amHey Valarie – I can only leave a quick answer – I’m on my way to Medieval Times with 60 sixth graders. (Get jealous now.) BUT, in your brief paragraph I see two redflag words, guaranteed pacekillers: backstory and bridge. In my opinion, delivering backstory isn’t a plot point. It’s something that should be woven into another scene, not just an info dump or exchange, unless the revelation will be a shocker and have an emotional punch for the other character.
As far as a bridge to get them where they’re going, I call that a “transition scene” and that is exactly what I cut in my sample scene in the workshop. Why not just open that chapter with them *there* already? You need to experience it, but the reader doesn’t need to see every minute of their transport; she will buy that it happened without her reading it, especially if you have one or two brief sentences that references the trip they just made.
Also, trapped in an RV – while it has tremendous sexual tension potential, God knows I used it in KILLER CURVES – it also has potential to be boring and confined for the reader.
My advice: skip this scene. Write the next one as though this transition/backstory scene already took place and find a more conflict-rich way to get the backstory across.
Now, off to jousting!!!!
by Roxanne St. Claire May 21st, 2009 at 4:19 amThanks Roxanne, that’s it exactly. I need to find a more conflict-rich way to get the backstory across, without it taking up the whole darn chapter of them talking. I’m going to try what you said, and spread it through out the next couple of chapters, and see if I can’t do away with that chapter. Thanks again for the help.
And yes, I’m envious you’re going to Medieval Times! It’s been years since we took the boys, and I want to go back.
by Valerie Bower May 21st, 2009 at 10:38 ami just delete the scene and start over. it’s easier for me that way.
by Karin Tabke May 20th, 2009 at 12:41 pm