To sheath or not to sheath, that is the question. Whether ’tis nobler to stop the story and bag the boy, thus allowing characters to exhibit traits of intelligence and responsibility…or to suffer the slings and arrows of readers and reviewers who believe that a latex-free ride is a ticket to the wall for the novel in their hands.

To show or not to show, that is the quandary. Whether ’tis acceptable to take the reader on the ultimate fantasy that circumvents all things awkward and abrasive, thus whisking her away to that great big Calgon bath in the sky… or forever risk the taint of TSTL.

Every one of us who include detailed love scenes in our books face the condom question. Do we describe the tearing and wearing in every single love scene, or do we let “Trojan Understood” stand as an implication of the act? If we ignore the condom completely, without so much as reference in dialogue, does that become an indelible character trait (stupid, lazy, careless, selfish, unheroic) or can the reader accept that this is a fantasy with a happy ending and no fear of STD or unwanted pregnancy? Is the condom too much fact in our fiction, or does the author have a moral responsibility to address the issue of intelligent, safe sex in every single love scene?

I do not have the answers to any of these questions, but good heavens there are strong opinions about this! Recently, all three books in the latest Bullet Catcher trilogy were featured in a “bulk” review on my favorite form of on-line crack the popular web site Dear Author. In my opinion, DA reviewer Janet did an outstanding job of presenting a thoughtful overview of the trilogy, dissecting the individual stories, and analyzing the complexities and subtleties of the characters. Like any fair review, she didn’t love everything, and one of her sticking points was that of the love scenes throughout the trilogy did not always include mention of the condom.

No doubt about it, in the half dozen or more love scenes across those three books, I ran the gamut from including the condom, to implying that the condom was worn, to ignoring it completely, to insisting on withdrawal because the raincoat hadn’t made it into the shower love scene. Moments after the review was posted, the site ran one of its fabulous instapolls on the subject that included a lively discussion thread with no less than 168 comments on the subject of condom usage in the romance novel.

Poll results were surprising, at least to me. An overwhelming majority (72%) of nearly 400 (yes, four hundred – there are a lot of us on DA crack) readers actively look for the condom and are disappointed when it isn’t included. I voted with the 28% who felt the mention of the condom could ruin the fantasy, but as a writer, I certainly took note of how important this is to readers.

The issue, for me, is not whether or not to include the condom but how to keep both sides of the readership happy. And should we? I deeply respect those who feel that a heroine who has condom-free sex has crossed the line from daring to dumb and deserves if not death, then a DNF on the book. (Although I believe most of those readers do agree that if there is a specific plot point supporting this action — i.e. she’s trying to get pregnant — then it’s okay.) I also respect the reader who cringes in disappointment when the foil packet is introduced because it yanks her from romance to realism and, to her, it’s no different than showing the characters taking a quick post-coital trip to the bathroom. She knows it happened, but would rather not read the gory details.

The only answer is to let the scene and character dictate the condom decision. In the vast majority of the love scenes I’ve written, a condom is mentioned, sometimes joked about, occasionally fumbled over, and the search for one has actually changed the course of a story. But I admit, there have been scenes where I’ve opted to let fantasy rule over common sense. In Then You Hide, there is a love scene that takes place in the shallow waters of the Caribbean. I did not have the characters take a condom into the water, or climb out of the waves to suit up for sex. They just go for it. Did I lose a reader or two over that? Perhaps, but I really hope not. Personally, I loved the momentum and spontaneity of that scene, and it felt right to let those two characters (one who is notably impulsive) frolic unprotected. There are other love scenes in the trilogy where I don’t mention the condom, but it’s there in my mental image. I don’t describe every touch or sigh or hip undulation, either, otherwise the love scenes would be twenty-five pages long. In the final love scene in the trilogy there is no condom, and the hero specifically asks “Aren’t we forgetting something?” but the answer is no. (Baby Bullet Catcher is on the way.)

The fact is, we can’t please every reader, though God knows we want to. At some point, it has to come down to how we want to tell the story. I can assure you, for this writer, it is not a cavalier decision. I’d love to hear how the MSW community feels about this, too. Writers, how do you address the condom conundrum? Readers, how do you feel when the writer makes a choice that goes against your personal beliefs?