 | 14 Jan 09 |
Believe it or not, I’ve been asked, and contracted, to write a paranormal romance. (One, one thousand, two, one thousand….okay, time’s up, you can stop laughing now!)
The paranormal part comes easily to me, of course. The romance part . . . well, for those of you who know me, no further explanation is needed. For those of you who don’t, think GI Jane playing the part of Juliet in Shakespeare’s infamous play. If you can’t quite wrap your brain around that picture, let me give you a hint of how the dialogue would run….
“Hey, Romeo! Yo, Romeo, where the hell you at?”
Yeah, unfortunately, I never did get the whole girly-girl type of romance most women seem to enjoy. I mean if a guy sends flowers and candy, I’m appropriately impressed and appreciative, but to tell you the truth, it makes me a little antsy. Stupid and irrational I know. I think it’s some screwed up internal mechanism inside me that suddenly clicks on at the sight of candy and flowers, making me fear the guy will soon expect me to start acting like…well, like a real girl. You know, painted fingernails, frilly dresses and all that. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against women who paint their fingernails and wear frilly dresses. I just ain’t one of them. I’m more of a jeans, t-shirt, and boots kind of girl. Sure, I enjoy candlelit dinners and late night strolls on a beach, but that’s lagniappe in romance, in my opinion. The crux of a romantic adventure, for me anyway, is when a guy has interests similar to mine, has a fast wit and sharp mind, and he’s just as comfortable skipping rocks in the ocean with me as he is just talking while we stroll along its shores. A guy who’s not afraid to talk about anything, no matter how bizarre the topic and who understands my need to ‘touch’ everything so I can experience it fully. Like the time I had myself locked in a casket . . .
So, as I’m sure you’ve surmised by now, tuning into a ‘standard’ romance is a bit of a challenge for me. Although I’m sure not all women hold the same definition for romance, I’d like to get as close as I can to what’s ‘typical,” so it will at least ring true to most women.
That said, help a girl out, will ya? What do YOU consider romantic? And do you think there are elements that most woman consider standard in the romance department?
© 2009 Deborah LeBlanc. All rights reserved.
Deborah LeBlanc is an award-winning author and business owner from Lafayette, Louisiana. She's also a licensed death scene investigator and an active member of two national paranormal investigation teams.
She is the president of the Horror Writers Association, president of the Writers' Guild of Acadiana, president of Mystery Writers of America's Southwest Chapter, and an active member of Sisters in Crime, Novelists Inc, and International Thriller Writers Inc. In 2004, she created the LeBlanc Literacy Challenge, an annual national campaign designed to encourage more people to read, and founded Literacy Inc. a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting illiteracy in America’s teens. She also takes her passion for literacy and a powerful ability to motivate to high schools around the country.
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I think being able to laugh with and at each other. If you GET each other, that’s romantic. In Jeanine Frost’s paranormal romance series, Kat and Bones love each other but he’s not always the candy flowers kind of guy. You don’t have to get schmaltzy to do it.
by Carol Shenold January 14th, 2009 at 6:54 amThank heaven, Carol, ’cause schmaltzy just ain’t my thing! lol
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:06 pmI thought I was writing mysterys, but they turned into romances. It’s all about the characters, and two people who care about each other is the bottom line, regardless of what they “do.”
I think the most ‘romantic’ gift I ever got from hubby was a Swiss Army Knife. Why? Because I’d made a very quiet comment — to myself, not him — while watching MacGyver. I said, “Why don’t I have one of those.” We weren’t even watching the show together, but he was in the room. He actually heard something I said and acted on it, and I didn’t ask for it, drop hints, or anything. He listened. That’s romantic. No schmaltz about it.
But yeah, the laughing things a Very Big Deal too.
by Terry Odell January 14th, 2009 at 7:19 amYour husband is the best! I don’ t think my husband has ever listened to me when I wasn’t saying “hey, I’m talking to you”. You’re a lucky girl.
by Erika January 14th, 2009 at 2:56 pmGot that right, Erika!
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:08 pmWow, not only a cool gift, Terry, but you’re right. The biggest, most romantic thing about that whole situation was the fact that he not only heard you, he DID something about it.
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:07 pmYeah, guess I’ll keep him. It’ll be 40 years in August — not worth trying to break in a new one.
by Terry Odell January 14th, 2009 at 6:13 pmHumor definitely is high on the list. And knowing that he’s always got “my back.” No matter what happens, he’ll make sure that I’m “covered.” Which is a two-way street. I’ve got his back covered, too. He’s a former military officer, I’m retired fire service/law enforcement. I let him have the seat in the corner because I know he won’t let the bad guys sneak up on me. When you’re as paranoid as we are, this is a huge trust issue. For me, that’s the bottom line. Trust. A good “reading” romance is one where the relationship grows to that point and then ends with the HEA. Good luck!
by Silver James January 14th, 2009 at 7:26 amAnd I was kidding about the paranoia. Mostly. *lol*
by Silver James January 14th, 2009 at 7:29 amThanks, Silver, and a VERY good point. Trust is a major issue, and earning it is a process that causes chemistry to happen between two people, I think anyway, that goes beyond the regular definition of romance.
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:10 pmI’m so not a girly girl either. Romance? When my husband washes the dishes it gives me romantic feelings lol! Flowers and chocolates are nice but take out the trash or do some housework and I’m so yours he he!
by wendy roberts January 14th, 2009 at 8:31 amLOL, I’ll take a trash-taker-outer anyday, Wendy! lol
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:11 pmI have never understood couples who don’t have a connection. What gives? Most everyone here said it, laughter, but I’m the type of girl who wants a guy to understand me. He doesn’t have to agree, just understand why something makes me tick.
Romantic to me is a surprise. Something totally out of left field that hits home because it was caring and thoughtful. Like Terry’s Swiss Army knife. Or my husband (who rarily looks up unless there is thunder or a sonic boom) saying, “Wow, look at how bright Betelgeus tonight.” Now that knocks my water socks off.
by Cele January 14th, 2009 at 8:39 amCele, you’re so right. If he doesn’t ‘get’ you, then there has to come a point in the relationship when you find yourself just going through the motions.
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:12 pmAgreed — the ‘come look at the full moon’ is a Significant Moment. Even more when he’s not around and calls to tell you about it.
As for the dishes and the garbage — those are his chores and he’d darn well better do them! I like that he does the Costco run, but I know he does that for the Senior Buffet, not to be nice.
by Terry Odell January 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pmRomance for me in books is about an emotional connection. There need not be flowers and chocolates. If you show me two characters who connect–even better two unlikely characters who connect–who will battle through all the conflicts because that connection matters, that’s romance. IRL, I’m still working on convincing my hubby that washing dishes and doing laundry without my having to ask him is a total aphrodisiac. He did wash my car as a surprise the other day. That was romantic…
by Kait Nolan January 14th, 2009 at 9:12 amIf they could only get the ‘ without my having to ask’ part, huh, Kait?
)
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:14 pmWhile I love the chocolate and flowers – if it were an all the time thing it would lose its ‘romance value’ and just become a chore/expected.
by Tiffany January 14th, 2009 at 9:25 amLike everyone else said its the connection – the getting the other one, even if its not easy for you to agree with them. Its being able to work through problems. And doing the unexpected (or even the expected that you often neglect) Listening – active listneing not just hearing is a big part of that.
You know, I’m wondering if any guys reading these comments might be thinking…”Man-oh-man, if I’d only known, I could have saved a ton on chocolates and flowers!” lol
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:35 pmYeah, I’ve never really been the girly girl, either, so I’m right there with you. Laughing’s a big deal. Him being interested in what I’m doing / reading / thinking about is important, and he’s always interested. Romantic gestures–I don’t want flowers / chocolate. (No, really, I don’t want them. Flowers die and depress me and I don’t want to eat the chocolate.) But he’ll constantly do thoughtful things–from bringing me a cold drink (like this morning, when I had a caffeine headache) to going to store for the groceries (because he knows I loathe grocery shopping) to giving me my own set of tools. He’ll figure out what I want way ahead of me. Mostly, he keeps it fun between us.
by Toni McGee Causey January 14th, 2009 at 9:39 amYou got it, girlfriend! The same thing happens to me with flowers. I get some, think they’re nice and all, then immediately think, ‘what a shame they’re gonna die in just a few days’, then get depressed watching them do just that. Arg…
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:37 pmHubby once brought me flowers for ‘no reason’ after he’d already given me some the week before. I asked why, and he said, “You looked sad when you threw the other ones out.”
by Terry Odell January 15th, 2009 at 6:11 amI am a girly girl, but still couldn’t care less about flowers, chocolate. I mean, they’re nice and all, but they’re just as nice when I add them to the shopping cart at Whole Foods. And I don’t have to feel bad when I dump all the fruit-filled darks in the trash.
I think romantic is whatever makes you as an individual happy. That may be a Swiss Army knife, a Hearts on Fire diamond bracelet, or him driving up onto the sidewalk in front of the bookstore so you don’t have to get wet in the rain. It will almost never be some generic gesture.
by Poppy January 14th, 2009 at 10:59 amCome to think of it, Poppy, I do quite a bit of chocolate adding in the shopping cart. Wonder if that’s why chocolates are not that big a deal to me. It’s something I do for myself….more often than I should.
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:40 pmI think one of my favorites was a scene in a book was in a Sue Grafton where things were heating up (and since it’s not ‘romance’ they can take books to get to this point). At any rate, she was pretty sure it was going to happen if circumstances warranted, and when they left the restaurant before their food arrived, she said something to the effect of “I hope you weren’t so sure this was going to happen that you put clean sheets on the bed.” To which he replied, “No. For you, I bought new.”
I just loved that bit!
by Terry Odell January 14th, 2009 at 11:04 amLOL, I love that line!
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:41 pmOkay, I know it’s corny. But back when I was going to marry my husband he got us a rubber stamp for bills and letters with Mr. & Mrs. on it. I started crying because someone didn’t just want to live with me and have (benefits) but he wanted me to be the Mrs. to his Mr. I still get teary-eyed when I tell this story. LOL
by Amanda January 14th, 2009 at 1:08 pmMManda, I think anything that touches you that big and that much has got to have romance written all over it. I don’t think it’s corny at all.
by Deb January 14th, 2009 at 6:42 pmDeb, your definition of romance is mine. I like my pedicures, but I am far more attracted to smart men who share my interested than I am to hot guys filled with air (they are certainly nice to look at, but not for a long-term relationship.)
My heroines run the gamut of “girly-girly” and tomboys. Most are athletic, smart, and in law enforcement. They “play with the boys.” I had one who was a romance writer, but I also put her on search and rescue. My current heroine only wears jeans. A different heroine wore long, flirty sundresses when she wasn’t in a business suit. (She was a prosecutor.)
I think you’ll find in romance that there is something for everyone. I couldn’t write a woman I couldn’t respect anymore than I could write a too-alpha male. Give me McGyver! Give me Jack over Sawyer. (Ok, they’re both alpha, but Jack is smart, responsible alpha and Sawyer is sexy, bad-boy alpha.)
And I would much rather be taken to a nice restaurant with good wine than get a bouquet of flowers picked up on the corner for $5.99
by Allison Brennan January 15th, 2009 at 7:16 am