 | 29 Oct 08 |
I’m a one purse at a time kind of woman. In other words, I don’t have a handbag to go with every outfit. The ones I get are typically multifunctional and fit just about any occasion. Well, except formal affairs. For those, I rummage through the forty plus bags in my sister’s closet and borrow one. Anyway, a few years ago I figured it was time for a purse makeover. I bought a small one, hoping to keep the ‘stuff’ I usually carry around to a minimum. Bad idea. In a matter of two weeks, the doggone thing was overflowing, and one of the straps broke in the middle of a grocery store, spilling mentionable and unmentionable contents all over the floor. It was a classic case of shoving ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag. I should have left well enough alone.
I view synopses the same way. Here you have a perfectly good book, and someone wants you to cram all those words, feelings, characters, and plots, into a five page summary. Argg! I hate ‘em! It’s tough enough sweating through each chapter of a book, wanting to make every scene as vivid and three dimensional as possible. How in the hell is anyone supposed to create the same effect in five short pages?
The bottom line is—you can’t. But what you can create, if the synopsis is done correctly, is intrigue. Or so I’m told. Mine have a tendency to read like a crack-addict’s steno notes. Short blasts of info that have little sequential order or logic. When I’m writing a book, I’ll do one major rewrite, then a polish before sending it off to my editor. For a synopsis, I have to do fifty-seven gazillion rewrites for it to even start making sense. Why do you think that is? I’m supposed to be a writer for heaven’s sake. You’d think I’d be able to handle a few measly pages.
Maybe it’s a psychological thing. An underlying, suppressed abhorrence for shoving ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag, spawned from the memory of that busted purse—tampons rolling across aisle 5, right up to the Frosted Flakes and that guy with the wobbly-wheeled grocery cart. Rolaids, an empty bottle of antibiotics, hair scrungies, six-year-old gas receipts, a three-year-old slice of Doublemint gum—out of the wrapper—and enough change to support Laundromats all across America, all of it tumbling over, under, and around bins, baskets, and curious onlookers.
Uh, yeah, that’s gotta be it . . .
Deborah LeBlanc is an award-winning author and business owner from Lafayette, Louisiana. She's also a licensed death scene investigator and an active member of two national paranormal investigation teams.
She is the president of the Horror Writers Association, president of the Writers' Guild of Acadiana, president of Mystery Writers of America's Southwest Chapter, and an active member of Sisters in Crime, Novelists Inc, and International Thriller Writers Inc. In 2004, she created the LeBlanc Literacy Challenge, an annual national campaign designed to encourage more people to read, and founded Literacy Inc. a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting illiteracy in America’s teens. She also takes her passion for literacy and a powerful ability to motivate to high schools around the country.
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I am cracking up. Because yeah, that about sums up how I’ve done synopses. Ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag. I know how they’re “supposed” to look when they’re done. I just hate (loathe, despise) doing them.
by toni mcgee causey October 29th, 2008 at 1:34 pmI tried the “smaller bag = less shit”, didn’t work.
I burst out laughing at “Mine have a tendency to read like a crack-addict’s steno notes”. BRAWHAHAHAHAHAHA
I want one of the purses where everything has a place and is in its place. Won’t happen. In fact, my husband lives with notion that My Purse is His Purse….i.e “Can you carry my glasses? Do you have room for this?” Blah blah blah. I bet he isn’t the only hubs like this!
by ArkansasCyndi October 29th, 2008 at 3:22 pmDeb – Very funny. I also have tried the smaller purse. It never freakin’ works. Several years ago I cleaned out my purse and found $18.00 in change in the bottom. I don’t let it get quite that bad anymore.
I’m unpublished and it is nice to know that even someone as talented as you has trouble w/ writing a synposes. It obviously doesn’t hold you back. Your books rock.
by HollyD October 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pmIt is nice to know even great writers hate writing a synopsis. Mine are usually 3 pages and tell the person reading it nothing about the book. I have ‘lack of info’ itis.
by Amanda October 29th, 2008 at 4:10 pmScrew purses! Eight years ago, I decided I wasn’t going to be one of those moms who carted around a purse, diaper bag and kid in one of those ten pound car seats–so I dumped the purse and never went back. And I’ve lost the diaper bag and kid carries her own crap in her backpack. Nu-uh, no suckering mom into carrying it.
by Margaret A. Golla October 29th, 2008 at 4:36 pmOne Wallet, back pocket. Cell phone, left front pocket. Car keys, lip balm, tissue, front right pocket.
Now, I would pay money to figure out how to translate that tightness and efficiency into a condensed query and synopsis. (Snork!) Like THAT will ever happen.
I found a purse I love and it’s the only one I carry these days. It saw me through my trip to South Africa, and even though it’s black, I carried it all summer. It’s got pockets for everything and is supposed to be ‘ergonomic’ and easy on the back.
Synopsis? I can’t even come up with a title until after I finish the book (and I’m techncially past the end of the book, with 112K words, but wer’e not at “The End” yet, so I have to get there, then go back and slash and burn. Haven’t given thought one to a synopsis, although I was helping a crit partner with one the other day. All it did was strike terror into my heart that I’d not only have to write one for the book I’m finishing, but someday, might actually be in a position where I have to write the synopsis BEFORE the book. How can a ‘pantser’ do that?
by Terry Odell October 29th, 2008 at 6:40 pmIn my house, we call is Synopsis Hell Week…
by Jen Apodaca October 29th, 2008 at 6:53 pmOh, did someone mention purses? Here I am! I love the synopsis analogy. I had a breakthrough with syns a few books back — I’ll share. I was writing one for a yet to be pubbed book (I have to write one for every book, even though my editor and I both know there will be no correlation between synopsis and finished book). Anyway, I wrote a doozy, about 15 pages, full of details, loaded with emotion, definitely an evening bag stuffed with a weeks of garbage. I took a walk, thought about the story, and realized that my editor didn’t WANT all that detail, but I needed it in my head. I went back, copied the doc as “short synopsis” (read “evening bag”) and took out the most salient points and emotional arc, winnowed it down to two pages and she LOVED it. So now I always write a long, detailed version for me (the diaper bag, so to speak) then pluck out only what I must have (lipstick, cellphone, comb, keys) and submit a lovely little clutch.
by Roxanne St. Claire October 29th, 2008 at 7:10 pmSynopsis? What’s a synopsis? Oh, yeah, that thing I’m asked to write when I have 48 hours to finish a book I need two weeks to finish, but sales needs it yesterday . . .
Last synopsis I did was for the FBI Trilogy. SUDDEN DEATH? No problem. The book was almost done. (Almost. The ending STILL didn’t fit how I thought it would end three days before I wrote the ending.) FATAL SECRETS? I knew which hero I wanted, so I thought that was a no brainer . . . CUTTING EDGE I thought would be the hardest, but two characters just jumped up and I had a premise and I thought, wow, this might work. Four paragraphs vague enough that I can live with them, but with enough intrigue that I’m, well, intrigued by the potential.
But I could sleep that night and emailed my editor and said, “I’m not writing FATAL SECRETS. Not that story, at least.” Why? Well, now I have my blog topic so you’ll have to find out Thursday morning . . .
I hate synopses. I write them only when I absolutely have to.
by Allison Brennan October 30th, 2008 at 2:02 amHey, Toni,
You did a terrific job sharing your synopsis process with the Guild group on Tuesday! You were a smash, girl, and we’ve already laid it heavy on the CRM for not having more of your books there. Not that guilt for having screwed up had anything to do with anything mind you, but it just so happens they ordered quite a few copies of your book the very next day.
Hey, Cyndi, my ex wasn’t like that, but my daughters…geez! They, too, shoved 10 pounds into a 5 pound bag. Only problem was, they actually had 15 pounds of crap, and they were always trying to shove the extra 5 pounds into MY bag. ARG
Oh, Holly, how cool you found REAL money in yours! All I manage to find at the bottom of my purse during cleanouts are crumbs from some identifiable food group and friggin’ pennies….. Which reminds me….weren’t they supposed to do away with those suckers?
Amanda, I’ve yet to find a writer who enjoys writing a synopsis. I’d take having a root canal over writing a synopsis any day! lol
Margaret, you go, girl! –I’m carrying this and only this and screw the rest… Yes, ma’am, I do like your style!
Terry, I think it’s easier to write the entire book than a friggin synopsis!
LOL, Jen! I SOOO know what you mean by Synopsis Hell Week!
Dang, Roxanne, I’m calling YOU the next time I have to write a synopsis, girl!!!
Arg, Allison, a synopsis due ALONG with a book?!
by deborah October 30th, 2008 at 11:31 am