 | 22 Oct 08 |
Thanks to a good friend and most excellent storyteller, Gayle Lynds, I took off with a group for a writers tour of the CIA at Langley, Virginia. I don’t know what I expected. A small, gloomy building where everyone wore a trench coat? And underground bunker. A huge building behind a regular old door, Something out of Men in Black? Not exactly. But with our group of ten writers, many of us down for Bouchercon in Baltimore, we headed out with a great driver in a small van. We’d sent ahead our license numbers and SSNs. There was an outer building where we did stop for name tags, and we were then shuttled over to the new and old buildings.
On the one hand, it felt like visiting a small mall. People were everywhere. Going here, going there. But one of my fellows asked our guide, “How many people work here?” It seemed innocuous enough, but the answer was, “I can’t tell you that.” Hm. Of course, there are covert agents and overt agents. How many, of course, we don’t know.
Our first real stop is a small museum that traces the history of espionage. I’m assuming–and since I see other groups being led around–that the CIA has planned this for visitors. But the little museum–surrounded by offices and folks just at work going to and fro–is intriguing. There are guns–hidden in everything from umbrellas to wallets–miniature cameras, binoculars, and more are displayed. Very neat stuff–the stuff of spy stories! Then, onward to lunch. At the food court. Yes, the CIA has a food court. And a Starbucks! Go figure.
We headed in for speech by the CIA historian. That speech ended with a look at the movies–and what the historian liked, and what he didn’t like. He was really indignant about those flicks that make the CIA look like an evil organization that allows its members to hide their dirty secrets. Hey, I get it. Pick on my kids, and I’m ready to take you down. So what is true, and what isn’t? They certainly can’t tell us that. They do answer one question for me. “Say,” I ask, “that you’re an agent operating in another country. You’re not caught as an agent, but you do get in major trouble for a car accident or the like. What then?”
“Whatever, happens, happens,” I’m told. And it’s serious, of course, so I know, when you sign up, if you’re caught, you’re on your own. A goner. Obviously, I guess. That’s why it’s secret.
Now, we did frequently get the answer, “I can’t tell you that.”
However, never once did we get, “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
We did learn that the CIA folks often date other CIA folks.Much easier than trying to hedge an explanation of your day job when you’re at Harry’s Bar. It often makes for better marriages. “Hey, hon, I’m off to the middle east to spy,” is probably much more believable when you do work for the government, the same as your partner. Obviously, our tour hostess and hosts were “overt” agents. Her degree was in publicity and marketing, and she was charming, and people do know where she works. I’m thinking that if any of our covert agents were walking around, they weren’t wearing name tags that identified their positions.
I left fascinated, newly impressed, and newly confused. But I’m still in awe. One amazing fact stands out in my mind.
Even at the CIA, there’s a Starbucks.
I’m grateful for the tour.
Heather Graham has appeared on Entertainment Tonight, Romantically Speaking, a TV talk show that aired nationwide on the Romance Classics cable channel, and CBS Sunday News. She has been quoted in People and USA Today, been profiled in The Nation, and featured in Good Housekeeping. Her books have been selections for the Doubleday Book Club and the Literary Guild. She has been published across the world in more than 15 languages and has published over 70 titles, including anthologies and short stories.
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I would LOVE to do that tour. Sounds fascinating. I’ll be all geeky…looking everywhere, grinning, etc.
So, where else can I hide some really cool guns?
by ArkansasCyndi October 22nd, 2008 at 7:22 amoooh, Heather, that sounds like the coolest tour–I would love to go on one like that. Had a high school friend who graduated from college with a degree in Russian language who joined the CIA right after graduation. Come to think of it, we never really did hear from him again.
by toni mcgee causey October 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 amWay cool, Heather! That’s a tour I would love to do!
by Debra Webb October 22nd, 2008 at 8:47 amHow lucky…I’m way out here on the west coast, nothing so fasanating as that…
by Lee October 22nd, 2008 at 9:13 amThanks for sharing, Heather. Behind-the-scenes stuff for writing fodder is always cool. And I can’t wait to see a scene set in the CIA Starbuck’s.
by Terry Odell October 22nd, 2008 at 10:47 amI am so, so, so jealous! Thanks for sharing
by Allison Brennan October 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 amWish I’d been there!
by Jennifer Lyon October 22nd, 2008 at 11:14 amIt would have been awesome to attend a tour of CIA headquarters.
by Jane October 22nd, 2008 at 1:35 pmSo really a sleep/covert counterspy could get a job inside the CIA just by working at Starbucks? I always questioned the security system of this nation. Now I wonder if those really are chocolate sprinkles? hmmm.
Seriously, thank you for the insights.
by Cele October 22nd, 2008 at 3:21 pmWhen my brother first enlisted in the Navy, he came home for a visit and gave us the whole, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” speech in a deep, mysterious voice. hahahaha
by Amanda October 22nd, 2008 at 3:56 pmWow, I’m so jealous! That sounds like such a great tour, Heather!
by Natalie October 22nd, 2008 at 8:13 pmVery neat! Did you see Kryptos?
by Marilyn AKA Playground Monitor October 22nd, 2008 at 9:45 pmCount me in as one who is green with envy. I would love to take that tour! Thanks so much for sharing the experience, Heather!
by Roxanne St. Claire October 23rd, 2008 at 4:45 amI guess that does make sense for agents to date agents, ala Mr. & Mrs. Smith, thanks for sharing Heather. Thank God for Starbucks!
by Ace Antonio Hall October 23rd, 2008 at 3:41 pm