 | 22 Sep 08 |
I love to people-watch. I suppose most writers do. But we must talk about those Hands Free Ear Things. I see them everywhere. Last week, I was in the grocery store and heard a woman talking to herself.
But, of course, when I moved onto her aisle, I saw that she was actually talking into her earpiece. Her young daughter was wandering around the aisle, and finally, the woman yanked her back to the cart and said, “I’m talking! I can’t concentrate!”
I wanted to yank the plastic doohickey out of her ear and suggest that now she could concentrate…
But that would be wrong. I think.
Anyway, I see people everywhere I go wandering with a blank stare, talking to no one I can see.
I saw a woman in a fast food restaurant the other day who evidently could not manage to dress herself or comb her hair, but she could use the wireless ear device. Interesting.
Cell phones have made rudeness acceptable in our culture. I can’t count the times I’ve seen a customer ignore, or be rude, to the clerk helping them in a store or bank. It makes me uncomfortable. I’ve seen them YELL at the clerk for interrupting them, all the while they are holding up the line.
People think nothing of answering a cell phone during lunch with an old friend. Or even better, I was writing in Starbucks one day waiting for my son to finish up something. I saw a “business meeting” between two women. The one who asked for the business meeting kept answering her cell phone until the other woman got up and walked out. That was too funny!
But I’m sure you all have seen this too. What’s the deal with these people? My husband thinks that cell phones have become a status symbol. Look at me, I’m successful, I’m on a cell phone!
But if that’s true, why don’t truly important people act like this? My brother in law is a neurologist and he’s never rude. He has gotten calls or pages, and he always politely excuses himself and handles it. But he’s never rude.
When I spent time with my editor and agent at the RWA Conference, I never even saw their cell phones. I know they both have and use them, but they didn’t see any need to be on them 24/7.
I have a basic OLD cell phone and don’t much care. But that’s because I’m home most of the time. If I used my cell more, I’d have a better one. But to me, my cell phone is a communication tool and a convenience. I like to have it with me for security—if my car breaks down, I’ll be darned glad I have it. I don’t feel like it’s any kind of status symbol, and when I’m in public situations, I rarely use it.
So I’m wondering, what is the addiction to cell phones about? What is the social status symbol that makes people want to walk around with ear pieces that keeps them always connected? That strikes me as not so much as status symbol, but a severe kind of insecurity. Like the story my son told me about the girl complaining that she never had any fun at parties, but she sat in a corner texting all night instead of talking that the people who were at the party.
What do you all think?
Award winning author, Jennifer Lyon, always wanted to be a witch. Since her witch-powers never materialized, she went onto Plan B and now she creates magic in her books. In her new series, the author of the acclaimed Samantha Shaw Mystery Series (written as Jennifer Apodaca) introduces the Witch Hunters, legendary men who must overcome a curse to team up with witches and fight evil.
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Oh, boy, I could go on and on all day about the wannabe’s with cell phones, but I won’t.
by Margaret A. Golla September 22nd, 2008 at 4:17 amI totally agree with you,
‘Nuff said.
Margaret
The world is full of rude people. Those that choose to be rude about their cell phones are probably rude in other areas of their day to day lives. Either that or they’re dumb enough to think it makes them look important.
I’m like you, Jen, mine stays in my purse. I only turn it on when I leave the house during school hours so that the schools can reach me if one of the kids becomes ill. It’s also handy for calling AAA.
by HollyD September 22nd, 2008 at 4:36 amOh God, this is such a pushbutton topic for me. My husband and I recently got rid of our land line, but basically it has cut down on my total over all calls (which is great to me, as I don’t particularly like talking on phones). But I am so amazed and horrified by how people behave on cells. I agree, it is absolutely a massive insecurity. When I was in graduate school, I wound up becoming good friends with one of my classmates the first year because she was the only other person in the class who didn’t immediately go outside to call someone during the break. And what is UP with these people who bring their conversations into the public bathroom?
There is absolutely NOTHING that is so important that they can’t say “Hey I need to use the restroom, I’ll call you back.” It drives me crazy. I was in line behind a woman in Walmart last week who was absolutely rude to the checker and on her cell the whole time. I really wanted to snatch the phone from her, say into the receiver “She’ll call you back,” and then turn to the woman in question and say “You are being unpardonably rude. This woman deserves your respect and attention.” Of course I didn’t. I think I’ll have a character do that someday…
by Kathleen September 22nd, 2008 at 6:22 amIt’s like a Pavlovian response for some people. And you’re right, it’s just rude.
by Amy September 22nd, 2008 at 6:51 amMy daughter and I were out to lunch not too long ago. We ate outside and as we were seated I noticed a couple a few tables away from us. The guy was on his cell phone. His date sat there staring at the ground. Their drinks came, he’s still on the phone. I could tell it wasn’t a business call. Their lunch came and went. He ate and talked on his cell phone. She ate and stared at the ground. After their dishes were cleared away he was still on his cell phone, when they left he was still talking. My daughter and I looked at each other and just shook out heads.
My biggest pet peeve when it comes to cell phones is when I am in a restaurant and someone is talking on a two way Nextel. I want to hurt them.
by Karin September 22nd, 2008 at 7:03 amMargaret, LOL on the wannabe’s with cell phones! So true.
HollyD, you’re right, these people are probably rude even without cell phones. But the cell phones give them more opportunities. And I have called AAA with my cell for a flat tire–very handy!
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 8:21 amKathleen, it’s so tempting to TELL people how rude they are being, isn’t it? It’s just so frustrating. It pushes my buttons too. For sure–have your character tell of the rude cell phone idiot!
Amy, Pavlovian response–LOL! Sounds right to me!
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 8:24 amKarin, I HATE those two way Nextel. My son had one (for work) and I hated it then. The phone would do that beep thing at dinner, I’d look at him and he’d turn it off. But can you imagine going out on a date with that guy you and your daughter saw? The woman should have grabbed his phone, called a friend for a ride, handed him his phone back and walked out. I bet that was their ONLY date.
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 amEn route to an airport this weekend, a cab driver, who’d been speaking to a friend on his cell phone, casually said…”What on earth did we do before cell phones?”
My response—”Have a life.”
by deborah September 22nd, 2008 at 8:46 amJen, I wonder how fast people would hang up if they were ignored/skipped over while on the phone. I admit to having a hands free device, but I use it for business – so I can write and be on the phone at the same time (holding the cell between ear and shoulder just doesn’t work, really bad idea when doing dishes
)
I think that the use of the cell phone makes for the illusion that they are popular and busy – 99.9% of the time these calls can wait – but the person is just to insecure in who they are and need to illusion that the cell phone gives them.
Holly, I agree it is another opportunity for someone who is rude to be rude – and its a more visible form of being disrespectful.
by Tiffany September 22nd, 2008 at 8:47 amI hate when my cell phone rings. I keep it for emergencies and for the kids to call me, but I resent the interruption of my day. Before cell phones we got along, didn’t we?
Typical call from my kids:
by Amanda September 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 amkid: Mom? Where are you?
mom: out. Where are you?
kid: home and you’re not here.
mom: no I’m not, did you miss the I’m out part?
Deb, that’s exactly what my husband would say too!
Tiffany, good solution! Those customers should be asked to step out of line until they are finished iwht their calls. If we held people accountable, they’d stop the behavior. And boy do I understand needing a headset. I have trouble holding the phone for long periods of time from my tenonitis.
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 amAmanda, I get that same call from my middle son! He doesn’t live at home anymore, but he likes to know where I am if I don’t answer the home phone. It cracks me up.
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 10:19 amI recently upgraded to a new phone with more capabilities. However, I rarely use them. I never give my cell number out (except to hubby) unless it’s a situation like a conference where I’m away and might need to get in touch. I’m still trying to figure out how to work the darn thing. I did find the ‘notes’ feature and I jot down grocery items, since I’m more likely to have my phone with me than the scribbled list on the kitchen counter.
I used to do temp work at conventions, and people would be in line waiting to register and be talking to each other on their cells. Or, the kicker — they’d be standing right in front of you, expecting you to help them, and they wouldn’t stop the call. I refused to turn over the payment slip for signature until the guy actually looked at me and I had a modicum of belief that he was aware he was spending a rather significant (to me) sum of money.
However, rude people don’t need phones. I was at the bank waiting for the clerk to bring back a document that was being faxed over. After being left alone for several minutes, I saw her reappear with a sheet of paper in hand. Another clerk stopped her, apparently to ask a question. Moments later, there were three of them gathered around discussing something. While I sat. I finally got up and approached the counter and asked, “Is that the paper we were waiting for?” and she looks at me at me and hands it to me. I was probably ruder than I needed to be with my comment about how I was the customer, and my time was valuable, and why should I have to wait around. But those things irk me, and since I’m old now, I let people know how I feel.
by Terry Odell September 22nd, 2008 at 10:19 amI don’t get it either, Jen. At Target yesterday, saw a woman and her teenage daughter. The daughter’s talking away, the mother keeps saying “What? What?” I soooooo came close to telling her to take the stupid plugged in phone out of her ear and maybe she could hear her kid!! Amazing.
by Maureen Child September 22nd, 2008 at 10:21 amTerry, that’s another reason I haven’t gotten a new cell phone–I’ll have to take the time to learn to use it! But yeah, you’re right that rude people don’t needs phones. I suppose the cell phones just make them more visible.
Maureen, it’s pretty darned temping, isn’t it? I want to shake these parents. I wouldn’t tolerate that kind of rudeness from my kids, so why should kids have to tolerate it from parents?
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 11:42 amI hear you on cell phone. I have one for traveling and letting people know where am I. I never give out my cell because it’s never on. I leave for work at 6:45 in the morning and I see people on their cell. I want to say to them, you just woke up, who are you talking to so early in the morning. Geeze.
by Dru September 22nd, 2008 at 2:41 pmLet’s not talk about those who drive while blathering on their cells, either. When we stop for red lights, we count the number of people on cells going by in the other cars.
Frankly, I don’t WANT to be that accessible. If I were a doctor on call, maybe. Otherwise, what can’t wait? Ah, I remember the days when you dialed phones, and there were no answering machines, or call waiting. If someone wasn’t home, you called back later.
by Terry Odell September 22nd, 2008 at 2:53 pmDru, when I walk early in the morning, I see the same thing! People backing out of their driveways on cellphones. I can’t figure out who they are talking to either. The other thing I see is all the moms/dads driving their kids to school while on cell phones. It’s an obsession!
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pmTerry, my husband and I look for cell phone people too. We say, “CPA” Cell Phone Alert. If we’re in public, people have no idea what we’re talking about. Of courses, now I’ve just given it away.
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 3:05 pmI had to make a comment to Jen’s observation about moms and dads chatting on the phone while driving the kiddos to school.
by Margaret A. Golla September 22nd, 2008 at 3:21 pmWe live behind my kiddo’s school, 5 houses into the neighborhood and I walk my daughter to and from school every day–4 minutes, one-way max.
Last May, DD (first grader) saw a tiny filled trashbag and commented that it was a bug’s trash bag. So writer that I am, I asked her pertinant questions: why did the bug have trash, what type of bug, and his name. I made up a story using her character, and when I returned home, I wrote it–PETER’S MESSY ROOM was invented.
Now, I don’t write kids books, prefering paranormal RS or UF, but I thought it was cute, so I looked for any online contests and found the Spoonful of Cheerios contest. I cut 1/3 of the story to fulfill the requirements and sent it in.
I also wrote 5 more Peter stories, and entered them into the contest. Now, I’d love to say I finaled in this contest, but I’m not holding my breath. Last year, they had over 1000 entries.
But what I did do was connect with my daughter on a different level when I wrote these stories. I used her input to make Peter and his friends and the silly situations he found himself getting into.
None of the above would have happened if I had been mindlessly chatting on a cell phone about nothing really important.
Margaret
First I don’t know anyone without a cell phone so I don’t know how it can be status.
by Chris Redding September 22nd, 2008 at 4:13 pmSecond, I think people are just more rude and it is easier with cell phones. If I don’t have my kids with me, the cell is on. I have a hands-free device for the car because it is the law in NJ. But it stays in the car when I’m not driving.
Common courtesy has gone out the window.
Margaret, that is a beautiful story! What a lovely time you and your daughter had making up these stories. She must be so excited that you wrote them out and submitted them. I will be keeping my fingers cross that you final, but you’ve already won in the way that really counts–with your daughter!
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 4:15 pmChris, I can think of one person without a cell phone and that’s because he’s stubborn
But yeah, you are right. And I agree that common courtesy has disappeared. Heck, look at the rude drivers who aren’t on their cell. I’m sure you get them in NJ like we do in So Cal.
by Jen September 22nd, 2008 at 4:17 pmThanks, Jen!
by Margaret A. Golla September 22nd, 2008 at 4:31 pmI’m so glad that I wrote a paragraph at the end of PMR just to remember HOW the story came about. I have something that many moms will never experience. I treasure our stories.
Margaret
Great blog, Jen. I was telling my daughter the other day that kids are not learning social skills because they text instead of talk. I took my daughter to her ballroom class the other night–and I give her partner a ride, because that’s the only way to get boys there!–and they were sitting next to each other and TEXTING the whole way. Right next to each other.
I think we need a “no text” week.
by Natalie September 22nd, 2008 at 7:11 pmMargaret, it’s just sad that many parents find their phones more interesting than their kids. Your daughter if very lucky!
Natalie, ah yes, the texting. I watch my youngest son (age 19) text and he blows me away how fast he can do it. Texting a sentence is a major achievement for me.
Oh yeah, Natalie, too funny on giving the boy a right because it’s the only way to get them there!
by Jen September 23rd, 2008 at 6:41 am