It’s hard, especially when it pertains to your children. You know, those creatures who gave you stretch marks, worry lines, and grey hair. You’d think when the time finally came you’d hurry them out the door and into the next phase of their lives. I have found as each of my children becomes an adult and graduates from high school, while I am letting go with one hand, I’m still holding on with the other.

I smile when I think of how when each of them began to walk, they’d grasp tightly to my hand, and as they became more accomplished and more confident there came the moment when they held only one of my fingers, then finally I let go of their little hands and they not only stood on their own two feet, but they walked without assistance. Or when they learned to ride their bikes without training wheels. Running beside them, holding them up as they pedaled, and then watching them pull away and ride without the steady guidance of my hand. Yes, when I let go they usually crashed on the sidewalk or face-planted into the floor but the fall was never serious, it was mostly a vital part of the process.

One thing my husband and I never did was run to our children when they fell and ask, “Are, you alright? Here let me help you up.” We always stood back and waited to see if they needed our assistance. It was hard when my daughter lay on the sidewalk and her knees were all scuffed up and her bottom lip trembled and she said, “Mommy hurts.”
“You’ll be okay, sweetheart, now get up and dust off your dress, and get back on the bike.” She always did. She learned for herself she could ride a bike without my hand on the seat, she could fall, and maybe get an owwie, that she would survive, and should she ever feel she might not? She knew without hesitation, I would always be there if she needed me to pick up the pieces. All of my children know this, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

I had/have three letting go milestones this week. The first happened Monday; my oldest son told his father and I he was enlisting in the army. We knew it was coming; the boy has always wanted to be a soldier. I can’t stop him, his heart and mind are set. He will wait until after his sister’s wedding in the fall to go. I have no choice but to let go, and I won’t be there to pick him up if he should fall. I’m not sure how I’ll manage, but I will. Somehow.

The second milestone happened this Wednesday night. My daughters and I went wedding gown shopping. When my daughter came out and stood on the small dais in the first gown I could not speak. She was quite simply, breathtaking, but when her older sister stood and put a veil on her, I could not hold back the tears. My baby girl will be a wife in five months.

The third milestone will happen tonight. My youngest son, my baby, will walk with his class and graduate high school. No more parent teacher conferences, no more volunteering, no more Friday night football games. I realized at his last game in the fall I have spent nearly every Friday night of the football season either at home or away in the stands watching one of my sons play football for the last eight years. No more. Time to let go.

As it all plays out, this thing called life, it has occurred to me that when the kids were small I worried, but I had control, as they get older and mature and go out into the world, I have no control. And I feel very fragile. I think it’s time for a little payback from my kids. I need for them to reach out and give me a steadying hand. I’m not as tough as I act, and sometimes, I just want them to tell me they will be alright.

Sigh, so here’s the question: What milestones have you hit this year?

Yes, I forgot it was Thursday and therefore forgot I had a post due up. You’ll have to pardon my negligence:

* Daughter #1 graduated Tuesday night from 8th grade. I feel old. But not as old as Karin who just graduated Tabke #4 from high school. Bawhahahaha!

* Drama with said graduation party where Daughter #1 didn’t not want me to chaperone. Me thinks she protests too much . . . so I rode in the limo with the kids, which brings up the question: Why do 14 year olds need a limo? Said party had one parent for every four kids, so I was comfortable leaving after the initial limo ride!

* At the graduation, the Dean of Students gave every student a character trait that their teachers agreed best exemplified them. Daughter #1 was “respectful.” Ha! They didn’t see her through a cow when I said I was riding in the limo! But it IS nice to know that she’s respectful to everyone else.

* Daughter #2 is looking at other schools for next year, so this morning we toured a local Catholic school. While Daughter #1 thrived in their school, Daughter #2 has had a more difficult time. I want her to be happy and learn, and realized when everything bad is going on personally, learning doesn’t happen easily. So we’re considering a move for junior high.

* The new house is still pretty empty and needs stuff, and the old house is a mess and needs not only cleaning, but, well, I still have tons of paper, books, toys, and stuff to go through and everything needs a decision. “Burn it down” doesn’t work and would probably land me in jail, so that’s out as an option . . .

* School has been out for 24 hours and already I’ve heard “I’m bored” five times out of the mouths of three kids. “It is not my job to entertain you” doesn’t seem to be a good enough answer for them, so I’ve suggested doing laundry and dishes . . . and they miraculously disappear.

* I have the page proofs for PLAYING DEAD and that’s what I’ve started this morning; SUDDEN DEATH is on hold for a week. A shame, really, as I was finally really getting into the story . . .

* TEMPTING EVIL is a first–the first time one of my books has been on the NYT print list (#12 and now #18) two weeks in a row. Yeah!

* I’m giving a class over at Ask an Author All about Breaking Rules to Break In or Break Out and the questions are HARD! But very insightful, and I’m looking forward to answering them next week; then I’ll write a blog on the topic, so stay tuned!

* FEAR NO EVIL finaled in the Daphne, which thrilled me because it didn’t final in the Ritas.

* I’ll be in Denver speaking to the Heart of Denver Romance Writers on “No Plotters Allowed” which is one of my favorite workshops to give, on Saturday June 21. So if you’re in the Denver area, hope you can join us!

* Yesterday, while Daughter #1 was at an 8th grade party (yeah, they have WAY too many parties!) I took Brennan #2 and #3 to see IRON MAN. Brennan #3 is 7 and he didn’t want to see it. One of his friends thought it was stupid, so he didn’t want to go. I heard great things about it, so I basically said, we’re going. He ended up liking it SO much that he wants to see it again. It’s a little violent (PG-13) but the story is fabulous and Robert Downey Jr was GREAT as Tony Stark. I’m thinking about taking him again because I want to dissect this movie for writer discussions. It hits all the beats perfectly, the acting is right on, and I think it adds something to the superhero genre–primarily because Tony Stark is a superhero because he’s SMART. A genius. And he has strong and compelling motivations and backstory, and while we learned a lot about it in the first movie, there’s enough left unsaid that I can see at least one more movie. The big question is, can they keep the quality of movie one?

SOOOOO, I leave you with this question. Some franchises have sequels that are as good as the original movie (STAR WARS, INDIANA JONES–though not #2, SPIDERMAN) and some sequels that just didn’t cut it (PIRATES, THE MATRIX.) What was your favorite sequel and why? What was your big disappointment? What movie are you really looking forward to this summer?

Hey Everyone,
Sorry for the short post, but I’ve got a bad case of the crawlies this morning. Last week was the ultra-phenomenal Pen to Press Retreat, where our own Natalie Collins did a BANG UP job as an instructor. Check out the pics below.

The retreat was immediately followed by a flight to Oakland, Ca., where I am now, having just finishing two call-in radio interviews and preparing for a high school presentation that takes place in an hour. My brain is still trying to figure out what time zone I’m in. My body on the other hand could care less. It’s just begging for sleep!

I’m hoping to have a longer report for you later this evening . . . if I can find my way back to the hotel that is…..

Until later, Amigos!

Sorry to be late with today’s blog post. I got home from work late last night to discover our Internet service was down, and I was all ready to blog about my AWESOME experience as an instructor at the Pen to Press Retreat. It just came back up, and I haven’t had time to download my pictures yet, but I intend to do so, probably later today.

Last time I was in New Orleans, where the retreat was held, I was there as a tourist, so this trip was somewhat different. And SO much more rewarding. I had the wonderful experience of working as a team with New York Times Bestselling author Cherry Adair (who, by the way, has the COOLEST Web site in the Universe, so you must go check it out.) We had a group of writers that we worked with during the week, including time spent one on one, and at the end they all had the opportunity to pitch to New York agents and editors. They were all excited, jazzed, and every one of them got requests for material.

What an inspiring week it was. I feel like a fawning groupie, or a religious nut, but truly, it was such a wonderful experience. Working with these aspiring, unpublished (and some published) writers re-energized me and got me excited about MY work, once again.

I’ve been struggling a bit with my current WIP, and I finally figured out WHY! I have always written my St. Martin’s novels in first person, and this one required third. But I know I am strong in first, and I think my insecurity using third has led me to stall. Now I know WHY, I believe I can fix the problem and move forward.

So, here I am listening to the “thank yous” from all these wonderful writers, and thinking, “Wow. Look what you just did for me!”

If you get the chance to attend a PPWR, I can’t recommend it highly enough. It was the neatest set up I have EVER seen at a writing conference, and the rapport between the unpublished and published was stronger than anywhere else. At most conferences, you see a definite split between the two factions, published and unpublished, and here, it really wasn’t present.

Okay, I shall put away my fawning and get to work downloading New Orleans photos, but I just wanted to get this blog up before it was too late. And go see Cherry’s Web site. Did I mention how cool it is?

I sent off my revisions to my editor this morning. Then I went for a walk and came home, planning to write my blog.

But I noticed a weird shaped leaf floating on the swimming pool.

I tried to ignore it. But alas, I went out and checked.

It was a dead guinea pig. Floating in my pool.

EWWWW!

Poor little guy. It must have been some kid’s pet. How did it get in my back yard? My pool?

I fought down my nausea and got it out of the pool. I would have waited for my husband to come home, but the automatic pool cleaner would have…well never mind.

I was in such a good mood too! For weeks, I’ve been working non-stop on my revisions. I finally finished! I even went to the bookstore and bought a stack of books to read!

But hey, on the upside, I didn’t lock myself out of the house like I did with the last dead lizard I found!

Okay, so today I’m a little brain dead so I thought I would treat you all to my Universal Whys…

WHY did the woman on her cell phone in the bookstore keep asking over and over, “Can you hear me? Can you hear me? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Here’s a clue, chick, “Repeating the question endlessly doesn’t change the answer!” And a suggestion, “GET OFF THE CELL PHONE AND JOin IN WITH LIFE.”

WHY do men panic when they find themselves in the romance section of the bookstore? A clerk led a man who appeared to be in his 20s down the romance aisle to get to another section of books. The man glanced at me, then the books and said, “Romances? It’s like I’m in an alternate universe.” Dude, I raised three boys…Alternate Universe is a teenage male’s BEDROOM, not the romance aisle in a bookstore.

WHY do people PAY Costco to shop there? What a gimmick! Pay me money up front every year, and I’ll let you shop in my store. We recently got a Costco in my town and I keep saying I’m going to buy a card so I can shop there. But then I can’t get past PAYING THEM to shop in their store.
And finally, WHY do critters keep committing suicide in my pool? We’ve had lizards, frogs, a rabbit and now a guinea pig. I feel like I should post the number to the suicide hotline in my back yard.

If I ever find a snake in that pool, I’m out of here!

Okay, today is just for fun. Post your Universal Why!