 | 19 Jun 08 |
I just came off a satisfying week over at Ask An Author All, a listserv for RWA members where authors answer questions on a specific subject, often posting a lecture or detailed explanation about something.
Last year, Patti Berg and I did a joint week to the PRO loop based on our No Plotters Allowed workshop. We had a blast, so we’re giving it again online through Writers-U in October–the only online workshop we’re giving on this topic this year.
I’ve done this before — I think on the ALL loop I did the Romantic Suspense Triangle, and on the PRO loop I did the Hero’s Journey in Romance where I dissected a movie and went through the steps of the journey and how they intertwine and conflict and often run parallel (hero/heroine) and then in RS you have to have to add in the villain.
This time, my week was about Rule Breaking, and I did talk about rule breaking, but it turned into something else. I gave advice I believe in with my whole heart . . . yet many times I re-read what I posted and wondered why I wasn’t following my own sage advice.
And then I realized why, and I posted the following message (in part) at the end of the class, which I’m sharing here, at the risk of the wrath of those who don’t think that authors should share their struggles or insecurities:
It’s not easy being an unpublished author who knows, in her heart, that she can do better. That she has the desire to turn her dream into reality, but isn’t quite sure how. Writing itself is an intensely personal vocation. While we may have fun going out and researching our books, or going to conferences, or talking to writers, in the end, the actual writing happens between us, a computer (or paper for those of you who are insane enough to write long hand) and the characters in our head. Sometimes, a very lonely endeavor that no one–except other writers–really understand.
It’s not easy being a published author who knows, in her heart, that she can do better. Who sits at the computer and fears she’ll never be able to write a book better than the last. It doesn’t matter if you’ve just sold, or been in the midlist for ten years, or hitting the top ten NYT. That fear, and drive, doesn’t disappear.
We all get stuck. We either try to follow rules that don’t work for us, and ignore rules that do; or we find ourselves writing the same books over and over for fear of losing our readers if we do something a little different. . . . in the end, it’s all about you and the story. You and the computer. You and yourself. No one else is there when you’re writing your novel. And rightfully so. Because as soon as you open that window to listen to your cheerleaders, the naysayers will come in and whisper evil doubts in your ear.
You need to want it. You are who matters first. You need to ask yourself, if you knew you would never sell, would you still be writing. If the answer is yes, you’re halfway there. Because if you don’t love the stories, if you don’t love the hard work that goes into making a good book great, then your heart isn’t in it. . . .
. . . I’m a Star Wars nut.
One of my kids, my son who recently turned 7, also loves Star Wars (surprise!) A few months ago, he asked my husband to play Stratego after dinner. My husband said, “I’ll try.” My son, quoting Yoda, responded, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”
So I leave you with this: Write, or write not. It’s up to you.
And this is where I realized that I hadn’t been listening to my own advice. I’ve been trying . . . but I’m not doing. I’m staring. Procrastinating. Listening to the doubts that are really coming from within. Yeah, we all get bad reviews. But with every bad review comes dozens of reader mail saying that THAT BOOK is the best you’ve written and they can’t wait for the next.
So the real doubts only come from me. And I see that. I know that. I can tell myself to put my big butt in a chair and write, and I can sit down and TRY. But in this business, you can’t just try. You have to do it. And do it again, and again, and again.
That’s the one thing I think unpublished authors don’t *quite* get (and even some published.) This isn’t meant to be a criticism. It’s something I didn’t get, either, until recently. If this is going to be your business, you need to think of it as a business–but write without any thought of the market or sales. It’s hard. I worry about doing things different–TEMPTING EVIL was a bit different than my other works. I love that book, but still I worry that it wouldn’t work with my readers. PLAYING DEAD is also a bit different, but I just read the page proofs and I love that book. Still . . . I worry.
So I’m a worrier, what else is new?
SUDDEN DEATH is due in five weeks and I have some written, but it’s pretty crappy right now because I’m second (and triple) guessing every story decisions I’m making. I’m not following my own advice of letting the characters drive the story. It’s worked for nine books, why not this one? Then I remember that I ALWAYS get stuck when I start driving the train, and only when I can get back into “the zone” and let the story tell itself do I truly free myself from the shackles of fear and doubt.
So I’m going to dive back to the beginning and start in a different place and salvage what I can. I’m going to DO it, not try.
The advice Stephen King wrote me 25 years ago when I was a 13 year old fangirl, brilliant in its simplicity, is now taped on my computer as a reminder:
WRITERS WRITE.
New York Times and USA Today bestselling and award winning author Allison Brennan has published fourteen romantic thrillers with Ballantine, plus a novella and four short stories. She lives near Sacramento, California with her husband and five children. Recently, RT Book Reviews said, “A master of suspense, Brennan does another outstanding job uniting horrifying action, procedural drama and the birth of a romance — a prime example of why she’s tops in the genre.” For fun Allison enjoys wine tasting, swimming, playing video games, and—of course–reading. Her most recent release is CARNAL SIN, the second book in the Seven Deadly Sins supernatural romantic suspense series. Her Lucy Kincaid series will launch in January, 2011 with LOVE ME TO DEATH.
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Thanks for the encouragement and wise advise.
I had a shirt that got lost in our move that said “Everything I need to know, I learned from Star Wars.” My license plate has Jedi in it. I’m leaving to Write On.
Oh, and if anyone wants to show their wrath, we’ll take care of them for you.
by HollyD June 19th, 2008 at 7:26 amHugs, Allison, and thanks for the great advice. As I careen to the end of my current book, knowing I have to send it off to an editor who is waiting, I worry. In fact, I should finish today, but instead of diving in and writing those final scenes, I’m here. Surfing. Avoiding. Worrying.
Must take the plunge anyway. Thanks for the reminder.
by Lynn Raye Harris June 19th, 2008 at 7:35 amAllison, you always give GREAT advice. And thanks for posting this for public consumption. I’m on a couple of the lists where you have posted your wonderful advice, but I think there are lots of writers out there who need to hear this who AREN’T on the lists.
And Mr. King had it right: Writers write.
‘Nuff said.
by Amy Addison June 19th, 2008 at 7:42 amBeautiful, perfect, amazing advice that I needed to hear today. You rock.
by toni mcgee causey June 19th, 2008 at 7:55 amHi Allison,
This is simply a terrific post. It is so wonderfully honest. I think it speaks to anyone who wants to write. Thanks for sharing your continuing journey with us!
Also, I wanted to mention that I’ve just started a video blog called Word of Mouth. Once a week I’m going to talk about books that I’ve read that I’ve enjoyed. My current pick is Fear No Evil. It’s the first book of yours that I read. Of course, since then I’ve gone back and read all of them!
by Mary-Frances June 19th, 2008 at 9:50 amAllison, I’m one of those insane people who write in long hand. It wasn’t my first choice, but due to some really icky eye issues last summer, the opth. doc said to stay away from the computer screen (really bad for my cornea at the time). So, I couldn’t just not write, thus went pen and paper. WOW! It was a totally different relationship to the story. In a roundabout way it breathed new life into my slumping writing. I compare it to photography vs. painting, because I can’t figure out any other way to explain it.
My cornea has since recovered (sort of), but I still long hand it and then type it, and ever since I’ve made the switch, I haven’t felt blocked or the urge to avoid the task. (Maybe it’s a different way of brain storming. Who knows?)
P.S. You are a terrific writer, not to mention, human, so don’t you forget it!
by Kathy Calarco June 19th, 2008 at 10:23 amYou’ll be back in the zone in no time.
by Jane June 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pmHey Holly! We’re soul mates
. . . I love that my son loves Star Wars, because I get to share them with him. He likes Episode III the best, which I don’t get (he’s 7) but I still have a soft spot for the original. I saw it when I was 8 and I think it really changed the way I view stories and storytelling and opened up a whole new world to me.
Hi Lynn, I never seem to have problems with endings. It’s the beginning of the second act that kills me every time. Once I get past the midpoint, the story usually comes along smoothly. (Usually. Got to quantify it because I don’t want to jinx it!)
Thanks Amy
I talk too much, I know.
Mary-Frances! Thank you so much for a wonderful review! I loved listening to you, and what a great idea to do a “vlog.” I’m going to post it to my webpage under reviews
Hi Kathy, before I had a computer I wrote long hand . . . I’ve taken notes long hand . . . but I type much faster
But I know several major authors who write long hand first, so you are definitely in good company. (I want to say Julia Quinn is one, but I’m not 100% sure . . . ) I’m glad your eye is better, and that you’re writing!!!
Thanks Jane, I’m getting there! Reading the proofs of PLAYING DEAD actually helped because it showed me that in the end, the books turn out okay. Sometimes it’s rocky at the beginning, but they come together. Whew! I just need to get over this hurdle. I’m going to Denver tomorrow, and for some reason, I tend to write well on planes. So I have about 2 hours tomorrow with nothing to do but write . . .
. . . unless some jerk puts their seat down in front of me!
by Allison June 19th, 2008 at 1:45 pmWatch out for the guy eating tuna fish, too.
Nice post. Although a tiny part of my brain wishes that you’d said “All doubt and insecurity about every aspect of writing vanishes as soon as you’re pubbed.”
by Kendra June 19th, 2008 at 4:12 pmThanks for sharing this, Allison. I take heart as I killed two chapters of my WIP and, after a month of dragging, finally sat down and listened to the characters again. It took me 4 chapters to get h/h in the same room (after I cut two), but I realized I was vamping, afraid of what would happen when they had to confront each other.
Part of me wants my agent to sell the manuscript she’d shopping as a series. Another part of me is scared to death she will, because then I’ll HAVE to write to a real deadline instead of having the luxury of being both published AND unpublished.
by Terry Odell June 19th, 2008 at 5:45 pmSweetie Pie, my advice is to sit down, close yours eyes, and let the characters run with it. Remember? You’re just along for the ride.
by Karin June 19th, 2008 at 9:08 pmAllison, all your AAAA posts were great, but that last one just hit the spot I was in. It made me feel so good. I’ve been reading a self-hypnotism book, and just reading it is helping me get on track with my writing. Like you my beginnings are my slow part. It takes a little bit to get into the characters’ skin.
by Edie June 20th, 2008 at 4:52 am