 | 8 Jan 08 |
My four-year-old niece RubySue, LittleNiece’s big sister, is a very interesting child. I like to tell my sister she is payback for all the horrible things she did as a child. I can’t really REMEMBER her doing any horrible things, as she was a very shy and retiring child—and RubySue is not—but still, even at this advanced age, is it not a sibling’s job to torment their sisters and brothers?
The other night Grandma had RubySue and LittleNiece over to “visit” (read babysit) while my sister and her husband went to see their new grandbaby (my sister is younger than me. It’s the darn step-kids) and then go to a party. Now I believe I’ve mentioned my father’s addiction to Little House on the Prairie, which usually is not a detrimental thing for a normal child, but we are talking about RubySue here. Most children are imaginative, although by four they are usually able to distinguish their fantasies from reality. We aren’t so sure about RS. With her, they all sorta seem to meld together. And it doesn’t take much to get her going. She saw a picture of Dancing Daughter in her twirly green dress from last year’s Nutcracker performance, and that’s all it took to launch a 45-minute diatribe about her green dress and how it twirled, and how she danced on the stage, and all of her friends were there, but they were amazed at how well she danced and…. Well, you get the idea. ONE LOOK at the picture. That’s it. This year’s soldier costume didn’t impress her much, though. There was no yarn-spinning after seeing THAT picture. She’ll have her fantasies with a side order of girlie, please.
Back to Little House. My father and RS were watching the show together, and on this particular episode of Little House, there was a TWISTER. Not a twister, but a TWISTER. A TWISTER I’m telling you! A few minutes later, RubySue was hunkered down underneath the dining room table, hiding from the TWISTER that would be ripping through the house at any moment. No amount of coaxing would get her to come out. “I’m telling you, there’s a TWISTER coming,” she would reiterate, in a panicked voice, every time we tried to coax her out. “You people better get down here.” When the expected TWISTER did not materialize, she calmed down a bit, and launched into an explanation. The TWISTER was busy landing on the witch, so that’s why it hadn’t hit our home yet. Evidently, my sister has let her watch the Wizard of Oz.
Grandma wanted her out from under the table, so she told her in a stern voice (unusual for Grandma) that there were no TWISTERS in Utah. “Well, there was that one that ripped through Utah a few years back,” I helpfully pointed out. I was NOT my mother’s favorite child at that point, because that was all it took. RubySue was STAYING under the table, to avoid the TWISTER. But then she started talking about Toto. Since Stormy the Wonder Dog was sitting not far from her, watching the child with curiosity in his big eyes, I thought she was pretending he was Toto. It is best not to assume anything with RubySue.
“Is that Toto?” I asked.
“No!” she answered, with the most scorn and derision a four-year-old can frost on the top layer of a sentence. “That is YOUR stupid dog. Not Toto. Toto is my dog.”
“RubySue,” Grandma said, even more sternly. “You need to be nice, and you do NOT have a dog.”
“I do TOO have a dog. I have five dogs. They live in my basement, and when I get home I am going to go down to see them. And they have clothes, too. Lots of clothes. Sweaters, and dresses and clothes. All kinds.”
Quite unlike Stormy the Wonder Dog, who only sports a Petsmart bandana. How UNCOOL is that? Poor deprived STWD.
“You do NOT have five dogs,” Grandma said.
“Yes I do. And they are in my basement, and I will see them when I get home.”
At this point, RubySue is still hunkered under the table, waiting for THE TWISTER.
My mother looked at me, and said, “That child needs to exist a little more in this world.”
I personally find her fascinating. She can spin a story like no other, and it’s not like she is lying. Somewhere, in some alternate RubySue Universe, there is probably a TWISTER about ready to strike, wiping out Laura and Mary Ingalls, and the Wicked Witch of the West, in one fell swoop. Maybe we could throw Barney the purple dinosaur in for good measure.
Lest you think my mother cruel and insensitive, she is not. She listens to HUNDREDS of these stories every time she has my niece, who by the way, is rather anti-social, does not look people in the eye (although she is getting better), and summarily throws anyone out of the family who does not please her. Instead of “Off with her head,” it’s “YOU ARE OUT OF MY FAMILY.”
When my sister was out of town, and RubySue was being particularly disagreeable to her grandmother who was caring for her–and she was also being a little turd to her other cousins, who were visiting–I took her up to her room, and sat her on her bed, letting her know in NO UNCERTAIN terms that she could OUT-OF-THE-FAMILY-me all she wanted, I was not giving in. She could either be nice, and speak nice to others, or sit in her room.
“No, I can’t. I can’t. There are DEMONS in here. DEMONS. Big black ones. And they took my family. I want my FAMILY back.”
I relented a little bit at this point, understanding that in RubySue’s world, some demons probably DID take off with her family, since her father and mother were in Washington, D.C., attending a memorial service for my brother-in-law’s brother. In her world, the demons DID mess with her routine and her whole life was in upheaval. But I told her that she had to be nice, and speak nice, to everyone, unless she wanted to go to bed. She did not want to go to bed. There were those big, black demons….
So she was somewhat agreeable for the rest of the evening. Except for the part where she explained how her uncle died in that motorcycle accident and his head popped RIGHT off. That didn’t bother me quite as much as it did my mother. I write suspense, remember? (Note: Her uncle did die in a horrible motorcycle accident, but I never heard anything about his head popping off.)
So, that’s RubySue. Writer in the making, or the next George A. Romero? You tell me. Anyone else have a relative, or child like this one?
© 2008 – 2009, Natalie R. Collins. All rights reserved.
Natalie R. Collins was born in Logan, Utah and attended the University of Utah. She worked for eleven years at The Salt Lake Tribune, Utah's largest daily newspaper, before leaving to devote more time to her family. During the ensuing years, she wrote five novels. She also worked for the 2001 and 2002 Sundance Film Festivals as an editor. Natalie is a member of the International Thriller Writers, Mystery Writers of America, and Romance Writers of America.
Subscribe to Posts 
RubySue sounds a lot like one of my 3-year olds. Connor has a very vivid imagination too. One day we were in the car and he said Mom, do you know what my old lady’s name is? Instead of asking him where on earth he heard the term old lady, I just said no, Connor, what is your old lady’s name? He said her name was Hon and he also had “girls” by the name of Dotty and Sandy. He gets lots of ideas from tv too (we mostly just watch Noggin or PBS Sprout though). Mostly he just pretends to be something else – a cat, a frog, Superman, Batman, Monster Bear, you name it. He also informed me yesterday that the Easter Bunny lives at the North Pole with Santa Claus. I never knew that! I hope he keeps that imagination as he gets older.
by Erin Hunter January 8th, 2008 at 8:44 amI’m feeling Usurped by a four year old, and darn she has a better imagination than I do.
BTW now that you bring it up, did the find the sister in law?
by Cele January 8th, 2008 at 9:38 amErin, too funny! His old lady. LOL. An old lady named Hon just fits perfectly. I love kids….
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 9:42 amHi Cele,
Yes, they did. She came running the minute she smelled MONEY. LOL.
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 9:43 amNAtalie she sounds adorable and I loved this story! The only thing that sort of tweaked my radar was RS not meeting your eyes. Does she only do that when she’s weaving a story, or all the time? She sounds so bright and imaginative! I’d love to visit with her just to hear her stories!
by Jen January 8th, 2008 at 10:01 amHi Jen, she is not always adorable. LOL. She has a lot of trouble relating to people and the real world. She also, interestingly enough, doesn’t form bonds like other children. Where LittleNiece is a total mommy’s girl, who also loves her grandpas, RubySue will walk into any situation, and never look back at her mother. I’ve thought perhaps she has a form of autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, but I’m not a doctor. And she is getting better with eye contact. It was much worse when she was younger.
As for her stories, it fascinates me. I can listen for hours….
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 10:06 amFYI, her name is not REALLY RubySue. LOL.
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 10:14 amNatalie, I was thinking some form of Autismn as well, but since I know you are much sharper than I am, I figured you had already gone there. But still she’s a fascinating child! Oh, and I was pretty sure you had changed her name
by Jen January 8th, 2008 at 10:20 amI agree with the Asperger’s Sundrome as a possibility. My 8 year old son, has many of the same characteristics as your niece. He does not bond with other children, he was unable to make eye contact, has a very vivid imagination, and trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy. He has to initiate a hug, you cannot walk up to him and touch him. Also, he will only wear long sleeve shirts and pants.
Fortunately early intervention has been incredible. He is so much better now than when he was diagnosed. No parent wants to hear that their child has problems. I have 5 kids, 2 with special needs, so I know about denial, anger, pain, oh and temporarily being pissed off at the guy in the sky. Okay, maybe a little more than temporary. My point, yes I have one, is it doesn’t hurt to have the screening with a Psychologist. Unfortunately, there are not medical tests. I wish you and your family the best.
by HollyD January 8th, 2008 at 10:27 amJen, I’m hardly much sharper than you are! LOL. Today, I’m downright dull.
HollyD, I appreciate you sharing your story. There’s been a lot of discussion about who is going to tell my sister what we think…. So far, it falls to my mom. I found a listing of characteristics and symptoms, and she pretty much fits all of them. But who wants to give that news?
She’s a bright little girl, though, and i think that WITH proper help, she can be successfully mainstreamed. Without it? Who knows. I just am not sure we are doing her any favors by not telling her.
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 11:01 amNatalie,
She should be refered to this blog and then over to http://www.autismspeaks.org She should also know that there is NO SHAME in having a child with special needs. Sorry, I know this is a bit preachy but, this is just a very personal and very emotional subject for me. Also, if you wish, you can give her my email address. Again all my best to your family.
by HollyD January 8th, 2008 at 11:17 amThanks, HollyD. You aren’t being preachy. I really want her to know, I just don’t want her to HATE ME. I appreciate your willingness to talk to her, and will give her the links and information.
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 11:22 amWell, I will say this. Fabo character study.
by Karin January 8th, 2008 at 2:11 pmShe intrigues me, which is, I guess, why I wrote it, Karin…..
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 2:30 pmgot it
by Karin January 8th, 2008 at 6:27 pmAt the risk of being repetitive, my first thought was Asperger’s Syndrome as well. Your description of your niece reminds me very much of a friend’s daughter when she was around that age (the only time I was really around her; my friend and her family live in England). If one of her parents did something to displease her, she would simply tell the offender, “I don’t like you. Go away.” I think the problem with eye contact is probably another sign, if I remember correctly. Also, you said that your niece is very bright. As I understand it, many individuals with Asperger’s are quite bright.
by Elaine January 8th, 2008 at 7:40 pmHi Elaine, yes, she is very bright. And she is learning, too. The biggest issue I see ahead is kindergarten, which is looming VERY close. So, my mom is getting ready to tell my sister, and then I am armed with links of resources. Of course, we COULD be wrong. We are not doctors, after all.
by Natalie January 8th, 2008 at 8:09 pmNatalie, the dog is adorable! However, because the pic is so big, it stretches the blog width and makes the screen take longer to load. At least on my screen :/ Just thought I’d let you know
by wendy roberts January 9th, 2008 at 12:34 pm