 | 5 Oct 07 |
Write completely out of your genre!
Okay, so y’all know last week I flaked on a legit blog. I had to wrap up MASTER OF SURRENDER (formerly known as KISS OF THE KNIGHT). Which I did sometime around 9ish Friday night. So, I spent the rest of Friday grinning like an idiot. I loved the story. I cried twice writing the last two chapters. So, Saturday morning I printed it out. Now mind you, I told my agent who is panting for the second part of this story two week ago this last Monday I would have it in her hot little hands in two weeks. My editor also demanded I cough it up. Enough is enough! So, Saturday night I have the entire house to myself. I take all 370 pages of my masterpiece downstairs and begin to do some layering and much needed clean up.
As I’m oh about 5 pages into the story it occurs to me that quite frankly my agent must be nuts and I must be nuts because what I have just slaved over is crap. This fact is reinforced as I read each page. I go to bed late Saturday night and wake up with a stomach ache. I soldier through but spend the rest of the night tossing and turning. Sunday morning rolls around. I get up, and get to work on the pages. Stomach still not feeling too good. I didn’t even drink coffee. My stomach felt well, like I had morning sickness. And folks if I’m pregnant then you will hear me scream. I made crab cakes Sunday night for dinner, one of my fave foods. Ate half of one. Back to the revisions. Sunday night I came to bed very late. Couldn’t sleep. Stomach hurt, wasn’t hungry. Tossed and turned and finally said, screw this and got up early. Back to work on revisions.
Hubby comes in with a cup of coffee for me. I shook my head. “I can’t drink that.”
He goes downstairs. Later he comes back up and says, “I think you need a break, let’s go for a walk.”
I felt like shit but figured it might do me good. So out we go. A beautiful morning. He starts asking about the book. I stop, double over, and dry heave. We continue to walk. He asked again. My stomach seized and I doubled over again. More dry heaves.
Finally Einstein that I am puts two and two together.
“Please, Babe, no more talk about this book. It’s making me sick.”
We finish up with me doubled over. Back upstairs I go to my office. Monday night still can’t sleep. Up at the crack of dawn the next morning and back to revisions. At 12:33 p.m. Tuesday I hit the send button and delivered the ms to my editor then my agent. I thought the pain would go away. It got worse. Way worse. Then five minutes later my phone rings. It’s the 212. I nearly puke. With my hand grabbing my belly, I answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Lauren.”
I didn’t know whether to cry or excuse myself and puke. I told her she had to hold on for a just a sec. I compose myself so as not to puke in my editor’s ear, and then, well, I let it all out. And god bless her, she hung in there with me. I told her how terrified I was and how I had never ever felt like this with a book. I told her I was so nervous I couldn’t even smoke! Smoking usually calms me down. (hubby if you’re reading this, I don’t really sneak. 
)
Needless to say we were the phone for quite a while and she calmed me down (grrr, I hate that I had to be calmed down!). I had hoped having been reassured I would feel better. While my stomach wasn’t as bad as it had been, the plastic bottle of Tums on my desk that was full Sunday is half empty. I’m still chewing them. I have the assorted beery flavor ones. My favorites are the pink ones.
As I type this, my stomach is in a flux again. The good news is my agent emailed me yesterday morning to tell me she is up to page 280 and loving the story and it’s awesome. Lauren is reading it this weekend. I guess I’ll know Monday if I should just put myself out of misery now, or wait until the next historical is due.
Okay, so when I stepped on the scale Tuesday night I had lost 5 pounds since Friday night. It was not fun, and I would not recommend. I’m trying to put it back on actually, but I have kind of gotten hooked on berry Tums and Gingerale.
How about you? Do you have any stress antidotes? And, how is the weight loss going?
A Cop’s Wife Writes the Cop’s Life:
Award winning author, Karin Tabke isn’t just another author with steamy stories to tell, but a cop’s wife who has “seen it all and heard it all.” Some of the hottest stories come from behind the blue wall of law enforcement rather than from in front. Married to a street cop, now retired, Karin is intimate with both and proves it with her sizzling tales and hot cops. Not only are her cops hot, but so are her sexy knights. Karin’s Blood Sword Legacy series is a must read for anyone who loves tales of yore when men were men and women were women, and love did conqueror all!
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Holy cow. Remind me again why I want to do this?
by Kendra October 5th, 2007 at 8:22 amKendra, it was, how do I say this, surreal. Out on our walk, every time my husband mentioned the book, I literally had to stop, bend over and puke. Of course then he started to get irritated with me, because he didn’t like what I was putting myself through, and the weird thing is, I wasn’t really conscious of it, it just was!
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 8:29 amoh, and in answer to your question? Hell if I know!
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 8:29 amOh my, and here I had this fantasy going that it got “easier” after you had sold and had an agent and editor in your corner. Oh sigh. . . next thing you’ll be posting about is Santa, won’t you!
Karin, what you described is what I lived through getting my master’s degree in college. I don’t know why we do it to ourselves, but we do. I do wish “they” (whoever the great “they” are) would hurry up and find a nervous habit that is truly soothing and not bad for your health! Unfortunately I’ve swung hard in the other direction and am now a “nervous eater” and I can tell you, re-learning to munch on carrots just isn’t that soothing.
But carrots are apparently better than cookies and I managed to lose 1 pound this week.
by Kellie October 5th, 2007 at 9:06 amKarin, I’m wondering if you have an ulcer. And smoking irritates your stomach, so it’s a good thing you didn’t do that. (I say that as an ex-sinner, er, smoker.)
But I do envy you the finished book and the 5 pound loss. Yay!!!! I hope Lauren loves your book too.
I weigh exactly what I did when you started the weight loss challenge. I joined TOPS on Tuesday, so maybe being accountable in person will motivate me. Also, if I gain weight, I have to pay a nickel.
by Edie October 5th, 2007 at 9:08 amOh, man, Karin, that sounds like a slice of hell you’ve been living. I’m glad to hear your editor loves the story, though. Feel better!
by Therese Walsh October 5th, 2007 at 9:15 amKellie, the contemporaries don’t give me a problem. When my first book GOOD GIRL came out I was nervous about the release and sales and it being a debut novel and what not, not the book itself. But the historical required so much research and I know I’ve screwed up! I keep telling myself it’s the story that needs to rock, details can be filled in during revisions. But damn, who knew? And no it gets much worse after the sale. Stock up on Tums.
Edie, I do believe I am now the proud owner of an ulcer! Or at least the beginnings of one. The hardest part about this entire ordeal has been, I’M NOT A WORRIER!!!!!! I hate, detest, abhor this weakness in myself.
I’ve become one of *them*! sob.
oh, and Edie, at least you haven’t gained.
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 9:19 amTherese, my agent loves it. I’ll know Monday how my editor feels. I can see another Tums popping Gingerale guzzling weekend in my future.
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 9:21 amHey, Karin, your agent is a pretty darn good indicator of the quality. It’s too bad you have to wait to hear from your editor but I’d be willing to plunk down money that she’ll love it. You’re at a certain level of ability and experience that even stuff you think sucks—doesn’t.
I’ve felt the same way (although without the tummy rumblings and dry heaves—more like the Void of Death) and often those were the best books.
But I’m wondering – could your ulcer or pain be the result of chewing “beery” Tums? Those can add up!
by J. Carson Black October 5th, 2007 at 10:31 amI almost didn’t chime in today because I would have to admit I regained my four pounds I lost last week. It is that time of month, I think I’ll take an exception this week and wait for next week.
Karin, so sorry about the worry and upset. I know everyone can tell us they love it and it’s great, and it just doesn’t matter unless we feel that way too. But, your writing is great, no matter the genre. So, hang in there.
I love Tums too, orange is my fave.
by Amanda October 5th, 2007 at 10:44 amJake, the ache started with the stress. Hey, let’s hope this book rocks. And if I have to go through this every time for a good book, I’ll gladly do it. But I think next time I’ll call my doc and ask for a double dose of Xanex.
On a good note, I drank my usual pot of coffee, and had a half of whole wheat bagel this morning and no stomach pain!
Hey, can you describe the ‘Void of Death’?
Amanda, even if you gain, report. We’re in this together. I like the orange ones too. Want me to bring some to the meeting tomorrow?
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 10:56 amOh God, Karin, do I here ya! Remember that book you, Poppy, and Virna helped me plot back in march? well, i’m going through big revisions before I send it off to our agent, and all I can say about this book is “shit on a stick.” Now, those who have read the first half and the first draft assure me that it is not, but I don’t believe them. Between this book and the arrival of my second baby, I am constantly exhausted and my shoulders are in permanent knots.
As far as stressbusting, I stick to the 2 r’s – running and red wine! And I’m on a major “firming up” kick, so I’ve started doing pushups, situps, and shoulder presses 3X a week to get rid of my jelly belly and bingo arms.
by Jami Alden October 5th, 2007 at 11:11 amKarin, I’m not surprised that you’re stressed with all you have on your plate at the moment. Don’t worry, it will all work out. You have an agent and an editor giving you expert advice and their full support. Man, they were fast to respond. You must be very important to them!
They’re not gonna let you fall on your face.
I lost a pound this week. In the four weeks of reporting, I lost 2 pounds. I’ll take it.
by Carol Davis Luce October 5th, 2007 at 11:58 amVoid of Death. As in “staring into the abyss”, and “facing your fears”, and “wishing the floor would drop out from under you like a trapdoor and get you out of this place”, and “you’ll never eat lunch again in this town”— all the wonderful thoughts that go through the mind when one thinks a book well and truly sucks.
Fortunately, one word from an editor (like “Wow!” or “Excellent!”) can blow away all the doubts and fears.
I’m kind of bi-polar that way.
by J. Carson Black October 5th, 2007 at 12:16 pmKarin,
I swear, it’s so good to see that you get as crazy as the rest of us. You always seem so calm and controlled, and all that….
Just remember, you cried when you read your last two chapters. And that speaks volume. Unless you are that “Leave Britney alone guy.”
by Natalie October 5th, 2007 at 1:08 pmKarin, I feel for you! I’ve had those stomach pains and it irritates the crap out of me. I am supposed to be in control of my body, emotions etc., and then I find out I’m human too
Glad you are feeling better.
For what it’s worth, I believe the book rocks!
by Jen October 5th, 2007 at 1:59 pmCarol, I am very lucky in that my agent and editor are totally behind me. I just so do not want to disappoint.
Congrats on the two pounds lost!
Gotcha, Jake. Sounds like me this past week. I think we all must be bi-polar!
Nat, hey, glad you stopped by. I have to be calm and controlled for everyone else! I just go nutso with myself.
Jen, does it not suck that we have no control of our subconscious? I mean on the outside I was good to go. Inside? Yikes then it all came to a head Monday. No thank you!
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 5:32 pmJami, I know you’ve been pulling your hair out. Um, but don’t we have another story due in like 5 weeks?
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 5:33 pmOh, wow. I know that feeling completely – but mine ends in a migraine – and I’m not even writing a book. BTW the purple ones totally rock, but the pink are pretty good.
I lost possibly two pounds this week, but I’m not sure, so I’m going to say one. And I will tell you why, it is because of here that I am sticking to it. Thanks guys.
by Cele October 5th, 2007 at 5:53 pmyes Karin, yes we do. I’ve given myself until the end of next week to revise, and then it’s all Italian, all the time.
by Jami Alden October 5th, 2007 at 6:43 pmI am so proud of you, Karin.
I gained back one pound, so now I’m at minus three. It sucks, particularly because I have been eating far LESS than I normally do, still cut back the fat, no fried foods, no hamburgers, no steaks, just lean chicken and fish. No salad dressing. No butter. Wahhh!
by Allison October 5th, 2007 at 8:36 pmCele, I had a few of those along the way. Grrr.
lol, Jami, I’ll be in Carmel next week but home by Friday. We need to talk!
Allison, are you exercising? And so this means you will *not* be having the garlic french fries tomorrow?
by Karin October 5th, 2007 at 9:57 pmSounds like an anxiety attack. *shrug* I get them from time to time. The only suggestion I have is to admit to yourself how nervous you really are, try and figure out why exactly you’re so freaked out by this experience, and then allow yourself to feel nervous. Sounds like you’re fighting it, and that only seems to make it worse – at least for me. Try this. Repeat after me: “I’m Karin Tabke – published author – and I’m nervous as hell about my historical because… :fill in the reason:. (Or word it however you like.) And that’s okay”. Give yourself permission to feel it. Or as I like to tell myself – Acknowledge the pain and move on. Hell, wallow around in it if you have to, and then kick it out the door.
Other than that, all I can offer is :hugs:. Feel better soon.
by B.E. Sanderson October 6th, 2007 at 4:20 amHi Karin,
by Toni Hingleton October 6th, 2007 at 5:13 amCongrats on getting thru the book. I’m sure your editor will love it…
I always think my stuff is a bunch of crap but that’s just the worrier in me. Wish I wasn’t a worrier and didn’t give a %$#% but then I wouldn’t be trying to be part of this crazy business, now would I.
Sadly, I gained back a pound. I started riding the commuter train to work and needed to get used to the new routine, so I didn’t hit the gym at all this past week. But this week I’m back on it.
~Toni
I don’t know, Karin. Of the authors I know, the more hate and fear-it’s-crap an author has for a story, the better it usually is. Hang in there!
I ate eggs yesterday. Not only did it not make me lose weight, but they made me sick and ruined the second one-tank trip my DH and I tried to go on in the last two months. *sigh* I can’t stop eating dairy, darnit!
by spyscribbler October 6th, 2007 at 2:52 pmKarin, so sad you had such a dry-heaving, hellish last few days. A big hug your way. I sent mine to my editor Friday, and I’m waiting to hear if it’s a love thing or not too. LOL. I found myself scanning the full after I emailed it, feeling some of those feelings. Maybe it’s normal, ‘eh? Anyway, have fun and enjoy Carmel. You’re a sweetie and deserve some downtime. Be safe too. Oh, I was here early Friday, but you weren’t here yet.
Now, I know why.
by LaDonna October 7th, 2007 at 9:36 pm