Today’s the day that TUTU DEADLY dances into stores everywhere, and I am VERY excited, and, of course, the requisite “bit” nervous. You’d think on this, my third time having a book come out, I’d be a little bit more used to it.

But I’m on pins and needles, for reasons that don’t really make much sense. It’s not like TODAY the world starts or stops, or I will suddenly reach complete and utter enlightenment, or Tom Cruise will FINALLY get a clue and realize that outer space business is a bit wacky and he needs to let Katie out of her prison before she grows her hair really long and escapes out the window, using it as a rope.

No, in fact, the only reason today will be different is because I will be aware that TUTU DEADLY goes on sale today! But it certainly isn’t going to affect anything or anyone else (except all the people like you whom I choose to BORE with the details).

The truth is, a book release date for someone like me isn’t all that eventful or momentous. I don’t have to wait and see if I hit the list again, always stressful for bestselling authors, because the only LIST I have ever hit is the naughty one that Santa Claus carries around. The only way for me to go is UP, I think. Maybe I shouldn’t say that out loud.

Still, it’s a very, very exciting time, and this is a totally different genre for me. So far, reviews have been great, and in what I consider a pretty cool endorsement, the book is reviewed in Dance Teacher Magazine this month! I haven’t seen the review yet, but I have been assured it is not the least bit negative. Does that mean it’s positive? Don’t know. Middle of the road? Hard to say. But it’s not negative!

I think this book will appeal to both dance teachers and dancers, along with anyone else who has ever had a child compete in ANY sport.

Sooooo, happy dance with me. Today is TUTU DEADLY day…..

I was reading Tess Gerritsen’s blog about her writing process. Even though she’s a pantzer, her process makes more sense than mine.

I use the SWAG Synopsis approach: I write a Scientific Wild Ass Guess Synopsis that usually gets me a contract, then I get about three to six chapters of confident writing before I hear it…the first snicker of the Writing Gods.

That’s about when my stomach tightens and cold chills run down my back. I start having doubts. Each page becomes more difficult. But I am determined to ignore it, pull on all my discipline to keep going. I have a synopsis, damn it! A plan! It all made perfect sense to me, to my agent and to my editor.

This time I will write the entire first draft straight through! No rewriting and changing everything.

Now the Writing Gods are HOWLING with laughter.

And I keep thinking that I am making writing harder than it has to be. I should be able to keep going and write the book. Not get sidetracked by Seductive Little Voices that tell me the book will be better if…(fill in the blank—stronger character conflict that will require a deeper back story, another murder, a different killer, a whole secondary love story—any number of things).

I keep thinking that I have to write faster. I know how to do this, why can’t I just do it without the intrusive noise of laughing Writing Gods and Seductive Voices of Change?

I’ll tell you why—because that is my process. Like it or not, that’s how my brain works. For most every book, I’ll end up writing three drafts:

The first draft that never gets to the end; somewhere between 100 pages and 300 pages, I stop and replot. (And this is where I’m talking to myself and sliding into Writer Psychosis) Then…

The second draft where I go back and do some rewriting, then finish the book. Suddenly it all makes sense.

Then the third draft where I clean it all up and generally I’m thankful for snickering Writing Gods and Seductive Little Voices because they made the book stronger.

I’m making this sound WAY easier than it is for me. My process somehow makes me feel dumb and inadequate. I’m generally very organized and hate repeating myself. I can’t play video games because I hate being sent back to the beginning. I don’t like do-overs…except in writing. In writing, do-overs are where I make discoveries. They are the Ah Ha moments where suddenly I can see the whole picture. Do-overs give me the chance to weave all the wandering threads into a story.

So I guess I’ll just keep writing my SWAG Synopsis and amusing the Writing Gods with my arrogant belief that THIS TIME I’ll write an entire first draft straight through.

What in your life frustrates you? It doesn’t have to be writing, it can be anything.