 | 21 Jul 06 |
Okay, so this week has been one of those weeks. While gearing up for the RWA conference next week, which I am happy to report I am on top of, I have had a few set backs with the stress monster. Some of you may know I have my first single title release scheduled for September of this year. I’m very excited and understandably very nervous. Couple that with not truly understanding this crazy business, i.e what exactly is my publisher supposed to being doing right now at this moment! What am I supposed to be doing right now at this very moment! and several other factors, and well, I have been the poster child for Xanex. But, I fought the urge to pop a little pill (of course I would have to have one to pop, which I don’t, but I’m going to remedy that little problem tomorrow, because y’all know I need two to fly to Atlanta and two to fly home). So, between worrying about print runs, promotions, books clubs, launch parties and tying up all of my loose ends before next Monday night, I have stressed myself into a sore throat and fever.
My saving grace was a phone call from my editor this am, and she very matter-of-factly coaxed me off the ledge. After the fact I felt foolish. You see, I am not the needy blubbering type. But this business brings it out in me. My family, my agent, my dear friends Josie and Rae not to mention my dear friend and the right arm of my business, Sheryll, along with husband, sons and daughters have had to listen to me wail, cuss, scream and cuss some more this week. I would have burdened Nat and Allison, but my demented brain did have the common courtesy to respect the fact they are in deadline hell, so they were spared.
While my editor called this am for one reason, I kept her on the phone for my own reasons, and it was after I honestly, and I hope coherently told her exactly what I was feeling and laid out my plethora of questions that she took the time and walked me through each concern I had. And while some of the answers were not what I wanted to hear, she was open and honest about them and the reasons behind them. I feel so much better. The kicker is this: I have always encouraged my friends, family, coworkers and employees to come to me if something is bugging them, if they are confused and need clarification or just need to vent. I pride myself on always listening with an open mind and understanding sometimes it’s just about venting, or blowing off nervous energy. I should have had this conversation with my editor months ago, and funny enough, she was the one to say it.
And the great thing was, she had no problem with what I had to say, and encouraged me to always ask. Doh. It applies to everything in life. When we go in blind or with an assumption without getting the facts or speaking to the person who calls the shots we set ourselves up for misery. This entire week could have been avoided with one email. “Please call me, I have questions.”
So, I have to remind myself to take my own damn advice and remember I am entitled to have answers even if they are not the answers I want to hear. And in this business there can be such anxiety, that not giving yourself the latitude to ask and receive you can very well end up in the loony bin.
Since many of us here fall into at least the reader category and some in the author category as well, what do you do to deal with the stress of publishing or life in general?
© 2006 Karin Tabke. All rights reserved.
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Award winning author, Karin Tabke isn’t just another author with steamy stories to tell, but a cop’s wife who has “seen it all and heard it all.” Some of the hottest stories come from behind the blue wall of law enforcement rather than from in front. Married to a street cop, now retired, Karin is intimate with both and proves it with her sizzling tales and hot cops. Not only are her cops hot, but so are her sexy knights. Karin’s Blood Sword Legacy series is a must read for anyone who loves tales of yore when men were men and women were women, and love did conqueror all!
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I thought being a candidate for the loony bin was a job requirement for
writers. Okay – so now I’ve got one more thing to be insecure about.
Seriously – you are a lot like me in this respect. I can keep myself awake all
night wondering about stuff that I could ask but somehow don’t. Afraid of
looking stupid? I don’t know but there it is just the same.
As for relieving stress, I live less than half a mile from a beautiful creek. I go
down there and sit by the creek and listen to the water. It has such different
sounds from season to season. The snow run off roar of a few weeks ago has mellowed to the gentle ripple of today. Most days this works just great.
I take my dogs and let them splash. Good therapy for all of us.
Of course, if that doesn’t work. A straight up Margarita with salt and a lime
slice does nicely too.
Mo
by Maureen July 21st, 2006 at 5:30 amI want Mo’s creek! Also the margarita.
I don’t have your stresses, Karin. When I do, I’ll probably come wailing to you, and you can remind me to email my editor and tell her I have questions.
by Edie Ramer July 21st, 2006 at 6:03 amAh, Karin, I had no idea you were going through this. But I’m here to tell you that you are normal! Really. I’ve been doing this for years now, and it gets easier in that we learn to sort out what we can control, and what we can’t.
But I repeat, what you’re going through it normal!
I was just on the phone to my editor yesterday, and while we were talking business and good news stuff, my anxiety over my next book slipped in there. My editor is a pro at handling author anxiety and she was happy to reassure me. I then made a point of thanking her for all the work she does on every one of my books. I think that’s improtant too, our editors work damn hard and we need to remember that. But, as my editor pointed out, it’s her book too
And I love that she feels that way.
I think GOOD GIRL GONE BAD is going to do great! It has a fantastic cover to get the book the attention it deserves!
by Jen July 21st, 2006 at 7:06 amI had a nice glass of cab last night, Mo. It tasted extra good.
by Karin July 21st, 2006 at 7:40 amEdie when the time comes, wail away, I’m nearly an expert.
Jen, you are so sweet. I think once I’m a bit more seasoned it will get easier as you say. Your editor is great, and thankfully so is mine.
I can only speak to the “life in general” kind of stress since I’m not a writer. I’d love to be one if only to associate with some really great people, but I have no imagination. Reading is probably my number one method of dealing with stress. I read to escape. Even though I read some stories with pretty horrific subject matter, it is all happening to someone else and in most cases, the hero/heroine come out okay. Can’t say the same for some of the lesser characters but, hey, its fiction! Since I started reading blogs, I have come to appreciate the struggles that authors do go through in the process of bringing their ideas and dreams to life. And I can’t thank each one of you enough for going through that stress to entertain (and provide escape) for the rest of us. To me, you are all bigger stars than those we seen on screen.
by Barbie July 21st, 2006 at 7:52 amThank you, Barbie, having this forum not only gives us a place to let it all hang out so to speak, but hopefully in our journey we help someone else out along the way. Wondering what I would be doing these days without the Internet..
by Karin July 21st, 2006 at 8:39 amKarin,
YOU could have bugged me and you know it. Hello! You’ve talked me off a few ledges. This business is crazymaking…….
by Natalie July 21st, 2006 at 8:44 amKarin, take care of yourself. No sore throats before National, that will be a whole other kind of stress. Everything will work out, I believe.
by Amanda July 21st, 2006 at 8:48 amNat, I knew I *could* have, but I didn’t want to disrupt your process. I wish you were going to Atlanta so we could detress together.
by Karin July 21st, 2006 at 1:56 pmAmanda, I am taking Airbourne by the tubes, and actually feeling much better today.
Karin, you could have called me too. I’ve vented to you enough. But I definitely understand where you’re coming from. We’re control freaks in a business where we have little control. I have a very hard time asking questions because I 1) don’t want to seem stupid; 2) don’t want to seem ungrateful; and 3) I’m sometimes afraid of the answers.
We WILL have a drink (or more) in Atlanta.
by Allison July 21st, 2006 at 4:04 pmCounting on it, A. Have a safe flight. You too, Jen.
by Karin July 21st, 2006 at 4:49 pmHey Karin and Allison, I really hope to see you both in Atlanta, maybe grab a drink…
by Jen July 21st, 2006 at 5:47 pmKarin, I can just imagine how stressful this time is for you. It’s fortunate that you have an editor who will take the time and answer all of your questions. My major stress right now has been deadlines, but I’m sure I’ll be going through what you are as my publication date approaches–so remember everyone’s advice so you can pass it on to me.
For now, it’s my turn to buy you a very large drink in Atlanta.
by Monica M. July 22nd, 2006 at 7:47 amI can’t imagine what it is like to be in your position. Not knowing, understanding, and letting the fear grow in to the unknown monster is human Karin. Especially when it is your baby on the line. I’m with Mo and Edie a straight up margarita with salt and lime is the perfect beginning to relieve some of that stress…
by Cele July 23rd, 2006 at 8:04 amMonica, you’re on for that drink.
by Karin July 23rd, 2006 at 10:47 pmCele,I can now understand why so many people in this biz have chemical dependencies…
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