Murder She Writes

They have more in common then you might think.
Okay, I have never been to an AA meeting or a Weight Watchers meeting. I’ve never had a reason to go to AA and while I have over the years (most of those times immediately following childbirth) had cause to go to WW I have avoided those meetings like the plague. Why? Because my impression of those meetings is a bunch of people sitting around rah-rahing everyone ad nauseum. I also felt the people attending those meetings were the type who needed constant stroking and assurance that they are good worthy people. I am not a rah-rah person and I do not need constant stroking, I know I am a good person and don’t need anyone to tell me. I do not need group hugs or group inspiration or group anything. I am an island. What I did need to do, was go on a diet. I have a few pounds to spare and even though I am fairly consistent with my daily walks and light weight lifting, I can’t seem to lose this extra 20 pounds. So at my MIL insistence, I finally agreed, (only to make her happy) to attend our local WW meetings.
It was everything I expected it would be, and it was more. Much, much more.
First of all it was not nearly as painful or embarrassing as I thought it would be. I wanted to shout to the room I was there only on behalf of my MIL, yanno to support her. But I didn’t. Instead I was warmly greeted and given a little form to fill out, and then the deadly weigh in. I had in my mind that I would have to step onto one of those scales with the sliding weights up top like at the doctor’s office and everyone would be looking to see how far right the big hundred pound one would have to go. Instead I stepped onto a little pad and the smiling lady behind the table wrote down my weight on the card and handed it back to me. I went and sat down in the front row, coz I wasn’t gonna hide, and my MIL sat next to me. As people began to filter in for the meeting my uppity ‘tude started to wane. There were woman who had the most gorgeous figures and there were women and men who had hundreds of pounds to lose. I felt myself choking up a bit and thinking how brave they were for just showing up. I saw men and women who had years of dieting in their future. It was going to take some dogged determination but they had that look in their eye the look of, “I want this, and damn it, I’m going to work at it until I get to my goal weight.” Then it was time for the meeting. As I guessed, the gal who ran it came on stage like Jay Leno and proceeded to wow us with her stand up act. My MIL and I looked at each other at one point and rolled our eyes. But, about half way through her routine, I realized this woman had been one of those who had over 100 pounds to lose, and she had, and kept it off, for years. She was there for all of us, unselfishly. Yes she’s getting paid but I’m sure it isn’t much.
She spouted phrases like, “Choose how you live.” “Eat smart.” After the meeting, she introduced me to the Points Plan and the Core Plan. Being one to do things as simply as possible I chose the Core Plan. It’s simple, they give you a list of core foods you can eat. Don’t stray.
Now how does this pertain to writing you ask? Well, first of all you have make the decision to write, to get something done, to commit. Same with WW. If you’re going to lose weight you need to do all of the above. I see the people at the meeting with lots of weight to lose as newbie writers. Like I was five years ago. I knew what I wanted, I knew what my goal was, but I needed help to get there. Each pound lost is a step closer to my goal weight; each manuscript written was closer to my goal of publication. For some, the pounds come off quick, for others slower, and they have setbacks. Same with writing. As writers we must “Choose to write.” And “Write smart.” We must encourage each other, and take regular stock of our progress and share with each other what works and what doesn’t work. When the rah-rah WW lady asked if anyone would like to share good news, I cringed, and thought, okay, here we go, the blabbering confessions. Well, there was none of that, people shared a diet tip or a cool food they discovered or a way to break the monotony of exercise. It’s the same thing we writers do. We share writing tips, writing successes and failures, and we come together with the commonality of the love of writing. So, while I won’t tell you what my goal weight is or how much I want to lose, I will admit I realized at that meeting I am not the island I thought I was, and that I was wrong about the people who went to WW. I thought I was an island when I began to write, and it wasn’t until I reached out to other writers and began to understand the business that my progress began in earnest. If there are any of you out there who have been toying with joining WW, do yourself a favor and join. You have nothing to lose but those extra pounds, and if you apply the same principles to writing, you will find yourself closer to your personal writing goals. We live a sedentary life us writers, and we need regular exercise and good nutrition to see us live to hit number one on the N Y Times list.
Do you have any tips to share that help you achieve your writing and diet goals?

Okay, the rumors have to stop. I’m nipping them in the bud . . . now.

A good cyber-buddy of mine (with a book coming out next month . . . check it out) emailed me after I posted on one of my many email loops. I’d mentioned I had a book due in seven weeks. She commented that she’d read somewhere that it only took me two months to write a book.

Uh, no.

I did write a book in six weeks. It was the unpublished futuristic that garnered me my only editor request for a full manuscript out of the fifteen unpublished contests I finaled in back in 2003. I was in the middle of THE PREY, got stuck, and wrote the first draft of FATAL SECRETS in six weeks.

But that was the only book I wrote in less than two months. (Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I never ever heard back from said editor after sending her the manuscript.)

My stories sit in a crock pot and stew for awhile in my mess of a brain. I’m constantly thinking of plot threads, my characters, situations . . . so when I sit down to write, I don’t stare at a blank screen. I have ideas to explore . . . and if I go down the wrong path, that’s okay. I just backtrack. Two steps forward, one step back . . .

Now, to squelch the rumors: it takes me on average 250 hours to write a book. If I wrote four hours a day, every day, that would mean I could write a book in 62 days. I wish. I average 15-20 hours a week WRITING time (not thinking time), which puts me between 12 and 16 weeks to write about 450 pages, and my writing speed increases as the story progresses.

Now that the myth is debunked, onto more important things . . . THRILLERFEST!!! I’m joining Deb and Nat in Phoenix for the First Annual conference for International Thriller Writers. I’m really, really excited to be on a panel called “Thrillers with Heart” with Sandra Brown, Heather Graham, CJ Lyons and Debra Webb. Please pray that I don’t put my foot in my mouth.

I’ll blog about my festivities, maybe over the weekend if I have time; if not, next Thursday!

I think I’ll have internet service, so I’ll stop in and visit later today . . . until then . . . be good

Well, I’m in the middle of the desert again, and my sinuses feel like they’re packed with wads of cotton. Aside from not being able to breathe, I have a touch of a stomach virus, which means everything I eat takes a fast, direct route right out of my body.

Behind me is a different bed than the one I slept in last night. This one looks kind of hard, and the pillows are flat. I have dinner to look forward to, though. Another burger and coke. It was either that or pizza…erk!…then I get to shower in a stall that looks like it was installed in 1965, all the while cleaning up with a bar of soap that smells like Lysol and is about the size of a postage stamp.

To add insult to injury, my hair currently looks like the “before” picture in a Tony and Guy’s Beauty Salon ad. You know the one of the broad with stringy, flat, and dull hair?

Sounds glorious, right? This is life on the road while on a book tour….well, for me anyway. I’m not one of those authors who garner a six or seven-figure income that allows them luxury hotels, fillet mignon every night, and a traveling companion that handles minutia.

As my butt numbs to the rhythm of the road, I often ask myself, “Why in the hell are you putting yourself through this?” The answer is always the same…”Because it’s part of the deal, dammit.”

This physical road is long and hard, but in truth, it’s no harder than the one you take every time you sit down to write a book. Long hours, little sustenance, solitude, flat butts and bad hair are givens on either end of this highway….and you deal with all of it without any guarantees. No one’s promising your manuscript will sell after you’ve written it, and no one’s claiming you’ll sell more books if you tour. Then why do either?

We write because we can’t not write. Something inside us needs to give birth to all those stories stirring around in our brains. And we tour and promote to give those babies a chance at a real life. To me, it’s really not that much different than raising actual children. We struggle to give them birth, struggle to raise them right, then, when it’s time for them to leave home, we do all we can to give them a foot-up in this world. No one questions why a mom or dad does so much for their children. It’s simply understood. Because it’s part of the deal, dammit.

Last night I dreamed Johnny Depp was living in my basement.

It was Christmas, and we were opening presents, and I suddenly said to my children, “Oh, I need to go get Johnny. After all, we did buy presents for him, didn’t we?” We did. I got him a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble. Not sure what the children got him, but they don’t think he’s quite as hot as I do, so I’m sure it wasn’t very exciting.

I went downstairs to tell Johnny to come up, and heard a feminine laugh and saw some very spiky heels through a small opening in his door, and decided this was PROBABLY not the time to interrupt Johnny, and so I went back upstairs and told the girls he would have to open up his presents a little later.

Then I woke up. First thought, “Hello? You don’t HAVE a basement.”

Second thought, “Johnny DEPP? What is UP with that?”

Third thought, “Pirate!”

Fourth thought, “Man, I have some weird dreams. I wonder if I can work this into a book?”

Well, I still haven’t figured out how to work Johnny Depp in my basement into a book (Get your mind out of the gutter, Jen!) but I know that real life gets into my books all the time.

For example, I am currently getting revenge on ALL the pyscho dance moms by writing a pyscho dance mom mystery series for Berkley. Er, well, it’s not officially called the psycho dance mom series. It’s the Jenny T. Partridge Mystery series. But those moms are all pretty worried they are going to be spotlighted. LOL. I might live to see my next birthday. Or not.

And I am still trying to work in the story my sister-in-law told me this weekend. See, she was told NOT to have any stress in her life, because her heart was acting up, so she went into the bank to ask them–nicely, without any stress–why her debit card was not working, and why she could not get money from the ATM. And after being told, “Gee, we don’t know. It looks fine on this end. We’ll see if we can locate the problem,” she had to–calmy–walk back out to her car. And there, she discovered a riding lawn mower parked on the hood of her new car.

“Bet you couldn’t do that again if you tried,” was the comment that came to my mind. That’s what Jenny T. Partridge would say. I mean, COME ON? It was a LAWN mower! Yes, a riding one, but she then had to call for help, telling my parents, “My car just had an accident with a lawn mower. Can you come help me?”

Lately, I’ve been finding more and more humor in these situations. Because, by God, if you cannot laugh at your life, you will have a nervous breakdown.

For example, we have these neighbors that are renters. My good friend OWNS the home, but she moved away to a nicer house and kept this house as a rental. And so far she doesn’t have a great track record of screening renters. The first set was a doozy. I did one of those Internet searches where you can find sexual predators, and discovered that I had one living RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

Robin got rid of them pretty quick, but then rented to an odd woman with about forty-two kids, no husband, and a high pitched voice that could drive anyone to drink. A lot.

She screams at her children in that voice, and my dog tries to dig a hole in the living room floor and bury himself in it. Every weekend they have Mormon parties and all forty-two children come, some with spouses and friends, and they ALL try to park in front of her house and ours. It doesn’t work well. And it also means that we have nowhere to park. Well, LAST night my husband had had JUST about enough, and with nowhere to park, he went over and asked them if they would be kind enough to move at least THREE of the forty-two cars out from the front of our house so he could park his truck.

They didn’t like that. One of the sons got mouthy, and well, you know what happens when men get mouthy. Other men are compelled to compare penis size and chest hair and bump bellies in shows of superiority.

So the POLICE got called. HELLO! I sent MY husband into the house, because I was not amused by the “mine’s bigger than yours” act and told the police at least six times this was stupid. Surely they had more important business than parking issues. “Well, you do not own the street. It is public property.” Indeed. They were right. Park away, Mormon Mom with forty-two children. Of course, might I mention it would be nice if we could park within FOUR BLOCKS of our house, but HEY, I know, we don’t own the street.

Mormon Mom told the police she was MOST upset about the “physical threat.” I think my husband offered to help the boy move his truck, in a “not so helpful” way.

THEN, to make matters really weird, Mormon Mom folded me into her arms and told me of her CONCERN for me because of my husband’s violent tendencies. Huh? Boy, I know why she isn’t married. You have to figure this stuff out. This is what guys DO. Plus, don’t know you lady. Don’t want to. Move your hands.

Luckily for us, at this point, some little miscreants started lighting off illegal fireworks and the cops started twitching to go after some REAL lawbreakers.

Of course, they had to huff it several blocks to get INTO their cars, which were parked FAR FAR AWAY from the complainant’s house because she has FORTY-TWO CARS WITH FORTY-TWO CHILDREN parked in front of it.

No complaints were filed. I, however, filed it all away for material. Tonight, all is quiet in the Collins neighborhood. And Johnny Depp is NOT in my basement. Remember? I don’t HAVE a basement…..

I really hate my process. HATE IT. But it’s mine, so I’m stuck with it. My process…

Book Stew:

1) Take an idea
2) Butcher the idea
3) Rework the idea, toss it out, start over with new idea
4) Wonder why you ever though you could cook (write)
5) Add characters and stir. Still too flat, uninteresting?
6) Add conflict and tension
7) Taste—it’s flat, one-dimensional and BORING
Try a subplot to ratchet up the tension
9) Read a really good book like say BODY DOUBLE by Tess Gerritsen and realize that she did a masterful job of weaving subplots and the main plot. Time to add large dose of self doubt.
10) Rework subplot then realize you’re not Tess Gerritsen and go back to your original subplot.
11) Taste—better, but not full bodied enough (Fully Developed) Must be the lead characters
12) Rework characters, adding more dimension and motivation…
13) Pick up wooden spoon and smack myself in the head. Over and over. (By now, my husband has hidden all the sharp knives.)
14) Tell myself I can fix the stew, just keep cooking…uh…writing…what WHERE IS THE WINE?????
15) Throw in a sex scene. Someone needs to work off tension…and maybe the characters will start behaving if I let them have sex. Please God!
16) Keep stirring and simmering and working. More adjusting of characters, plot, pacing….
17) Suddenly, and I don’t have a freaking clue how it happened, but there’s a new scent in the air…it smells like Book Stew.
18) The book is finished. Husband still won’t return the sharp knives.

What does your recipe for Book Stew look like?

Last month we invited our readers to pose questions to Kimberly Whalen at Trident Media Group.
So as not to take up too much of her time we picked five questions.

Q. I am unpublished and have started sending queries to agents.
Since I don’t have writing credits to boast in a query letter yet, I want to be sure an agent realizes I’m serious about writing and will do my part to make the book a success. I realize I can mention my association with organizations like RWA, Sisters in Crime, but I am wondering if it would be a PLUS to you if you read a query letter that included commitments from groups or businesses, related to the place or plot of the manuscript, that would be willing to include notification of the book on their website, in their newsletter or offer the opportunity to do a book signing at their location.
I know platform is huge in non-fiction, just wondering how much marketing helps when pitching a fiction work and if it’s worth a mention to help get my foot in the door?
Thanks for taking the time to consider my question.
A I think it’s important to include as much information about yourself as possible. You need to make sure that the information you provide is accurate and meaningful. For instance, if you tell me your local bookstore will do a signing for you once the book is published, it’s helpful, but really not going to make a difference in whether or not I”m going to take a look. What is most important to me is the description of the material you want to send to me. It’s got to catch my eye and stand out from the rest of the pack. Keep it concise and to the point. It’s also important for authors to make sure they are following the submission guidelines of each agency/agent so check out their websites, talk to the different organizations you belong to like RWA. This is crucial. Many authors don’t do their homework beforehand and it kills their chance before they even get in the door.

Q Thanks so much for the chance to ask questions
Is it feasible to query an agent about a partial you are still working on?
I have a detailed synopsis (6 pages) and several chapters completed, though not at the halfway point yet. I am multi-published with four e-books and one in final edits.
Would this be sufficient, assuming the story, synopsis and chapters interest the agent, to go ahead and query?
Thanks for the opportunity to present a question.
A Every agent is different. I will look at a partial but to date, I’ve never taken on an unpublished author based on a partial manuscript. You can certainly query agents with a partial, but oftentimes you have only one shot with an agent so make sure you think it through before submitting anything.

Q How do you get a publisher to include your book in their co-op placement in the bookstore? Is this something an agent negotiates as part of your initial contract for the book? Or something the publisher decides with no influence from the writer and/or agent?
A No, in the most general terms, co-op is not negotiated as part of the original contract negotiations. It’s both the agent and author’s job to make sure that their book stays high on the publisher’s radar to ensure money for marketing and publicity. You should also note that a publisher can offer co-op to bookstores and bookstores don’t have to take it. However, there are instances where an agent will negotiate marketing and publicity details during contract negotiations.

Q What is the current trend in romance? And how do you see it continuing? Are there any whispers as to what it the next hot genre?
A Hmm, the current trend. I think paranormal romance and erotic romance is hot. I’m always looking for good, original, fresh stuff. I also am looking for fabulous historical material. And, of course, romantic suspense (my first love!) and basic strong women’s fiction.

Q How hands on are you?
A I try to be very hands on. I try to read as much of my clients work as possible and offer thoughts, editorial comments, etc. I also try to be as available as much possible for telephone conversations and e-mail. I think it’s crucial for an agent to work with their clients this way, it’s our job to make sure the author stays on track. We can’t do that unless we know what they are doing!

The only other thing I have to say, is that when looking for an agent, make sure it’s a good fit. The fit has to feel good to you. Don’t let yourself get talked into anything. Don’t necessarily sign up with the first agent that offers you representation. You need to really do your homework. A good agent for one author doesn’t mean they will necessarily be a good fit for you. Also, remember, don’t get discouraged if you have rejections, publishing is subjective – one agent’s rejection is another agent’s New York Times bestseller!

Thanks, Kim!

Okay so I have the Q&A from Kimberly Whalen at Trident Media. I was going to post it today and get out of blogging, but I don’t wanna. So, I’ll post it tomorrow.
Today I want to talk about fear. For some of us we only have one or two fears. For many of us more than a few, and others too many to count. Fear can be real or imagined, but either way it can be and is oftentimes paralyzing. Fear holds us back, shuts us down, takes us out of the game. Fear can also save our asses. I don’t want to talk about the fear of jumping out of an airplane at 10,000 feet without a parachute. Not only would I be terrified to do it, but really stupid to even contemplate the idea of becoming a splat on the earth’s surface.
No the fear I want to talk about is the kind of fear that paralyzes, the kind that holds us back, the kind of fear that is a real life monster in our imagination.
Like the boogie man under the bed. To this day, I do not sleep with any appendage hanging out over my bed. I know there is no boogie man under my bed, but well, since I’m not literally loosing any sleep over it, I figure it’s one of those dumbass fears I can live with.
I hate, hate, hate to fly. My solution: Xanex chased by a double Bloody Mary. Works for me. One day, when I have the time I’ll go to a hypnotist and see if I can work through it that way. I guess isolating the reasons for my fear of flying is important. For me it’s not the actual crash I’m afraid of, it’s knowing I’m going to crash, and having to live through the terror of that knowledge, even if it’s only a matter of a few seconds. My biggest fears come in the form of not having control. This does not, as much as my husband would beg to differ, mean I am a control freak. To me it just means I have deep seeded fears of my children getting hurt, being attacks by terrorists or the sky falling in. That which I cannot control are the things I fear most. But, before I come across as a worry-wart-fatalist, these fears do not in any way control my life. They are just fears of things I cannot control.
When I began to write, my fear was that I sucked. My fears were realized, coz I sucked the big one, and while I can’t control an airplane falling from the sky, I can control my writing. So for me it was a matter of honing my skills—I’m still honing skills.
I was never afraid of rejection, rejection that is in the form of submissions to agents and or editors, (I figured it was all part of the journey), and I never feared actually getting published. When I had a request, I sent it so fast the requestor didn’t have time to rethink. I was pretty shameless.
This brings me to something that really bugs me. Writers who don’t submit. Why? I know of so many writers who have had requests and don’t send them. I heard that something like 35% of all material requested is never sent. Why? What are you afraid of? Here’s a perfect example of writers who get the green light but fail to go through it. Right now I’m running a First Line Contest over at my personal blog site. I closed the entries after 50. In the first round 5 entries were culled, allowing 45 to go on to the second round. Those 45 had five days to post their second line. 4 of the 45 who made it to the second round didn’t post. Why not? The grand prize is a ten page read by a hot shot NYC editor. This week was round three, 40 entries made it this far and have until midnight tonight to post a third line. As of my writing this post only 32 have posted. That means 8 people who have a chance to be one of 5 finalists to be read by this hot shot editor have either had very busy weeks and forgot, or they chickened out. Why? What are they afraid of? Losing in public? Or even scarier–winning? So this brings me around to my question.
What are you afraid of? And how do you manage it, or better yet, how have you overcome your fears?

There are only two ways to write. Either put your fingers on a keyboard and type away, or pick up a pen and do it the old-fashioned way.

Now that you know how to write, you might ask why are there so many dang rules out there? That you have to plot (or not); that you can never change POV mid-scene (except sometimes); that you have to introduce your hero/heroine by page 32 (or the end of chapter one, or chapter five . . . )

We all have rules we like and follow (most of the time.) And because we all tend to be a little egotistical, we think that if people would just follow OUR rules, they’d be able to write a marketable novel.

Truth is, my rules work for me and they may (or may not) work for you. Or maybe Rules #4, 15, 37, 85 and 99 of the 100 “rules” I write by will work for you, but not the others.

The only way anyone can learn to write is to sit down and do it. You can spend years in writing classes, read a hundred craft books, but to write a book you simply have to sit down and start writing. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter when you first start. But following rules that may stifle your voice or inhibit you is frustrating.

Case in point: I love Donald Maass’s WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL. It’s one of the few craft books I’ve read, and I’ve read it three times. I never read books three times. But the way he put together the information and his checklists after every chapter helped me visualize how my stories worked and where I might need to focus more energy.

So, I got his WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL WORKBOOK. Argh!!!! What a waste of money. I absolutely got NOTHING from trying to make my novel and characters conform to his stupid questions. (But a good friend of mine loves the workbook and “didn’t get” first book.)

Who’s right? Me or my friend? Both! Why? Because the first book works for me, and the workbook works for her, and we’re both happy.

This isn’t to say that I agree with every single thing Maass said in his book. Under his chapter about Characters, for example, I absolutely agree with: “All stories are character driven.” I absolutely do not agree with: “Differentiate characters with character charts.” I wouldn’t know a character chart if it bit me on my derriere.

But, sometimes, in revisions, I get stuck and will skim his chapter checklists. I saw this comment: “Choose a narrator based on who is changed most by the story’s events.” This one line gave me an AHA! moment in revising THE KILL last year. I had a scene that just wasn’t working and my editor hated it. When I reviewed Maass’s checklist, I realized I had written the scene in the wrong POV. I switched it to the hero and voila! it worked.

Why do I hate the workbook? Oh, let me count the ways . . . one exercize, for example, about inner turning points has the writer pick a turning point and wind back the clock ten minutes to find out how the character feels about himself at the earlier moment, the at the moment, then after the turning point. Ugh! I write enough scenes that I end up deleting, I don’t want to do it on purpose. When would I have time to finish the damn book? BUT I can see the value in being able to look at your character at any point in the story, written or unwritten, on or off page, and know exactly what they’re thinking and feeling. I do it all the time. I just can’t stand the idea of wasting time writing it out.

The point in this rant is that we all know how to write–put your ass in the chair–but in the process, we need to find rules that work for us and make our stories stronger.

And don’t force them on anyone else.

What’s YOUR personal favorite writing “rule”? What’s the writing “rule” you can’t stand? Just pick one . . . no fair listing ten!

My favorite rule is: “Rules are meant to be broken.” My least favorite rule is: “You must not change POV mid-scene.”

PS . . . BSP time. I posted my large print covers on my personal blog if you want to check them out!