Murder She Writes

So I was surfing the Internet and came across some hilarious stories I thought I’d share with all of you.

From a site called “Globe Rider“:

A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

Some people complain that California’s popular “Three Strikes” law is unfair because the third strike doesn’t have to be a felony. Well, here’s a story that shows how well it works:

SANTA BARBARA, California – A career criminal was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison under California’s three-strikes law for stealing $11 worth of wine, lip balm and breath freshener.Superior Court Judge Frank Ochoa called Ronald Herrera, 57, one of the worst criminals to pass through his courtroom, and prosecutor Darryl Perlin said: “He’s what the three-strikes law is all about.” Herrera’s record lists 17 serious felonies, including a 1971 home-invasion robbery and rape of a woman and her 15-year-old daughter, the shooting of a police dispatcher, and six armed robberies in Virginia.He was sentenced Thursday for burglary and petty theft at a supermarket. At trial, his lawyer said Herrera has a brain injury that made him forget to pay for the items.

I may be the only person in America who hasn’t heard this story, but it’s hilarious. It’s so stupid, and so funny, I’m wondering if it’s an urban myth . . . but it’s worth reading:

San Francisco: It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, “This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stick up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said “OK” and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who seized the man as he waited a the back of the line at Bank of America.

And this one is just weird . . .

If you’re dissatisfied with the service when you’re out to lunch, don’t call the police because they don’t want to hear about it. Thirty-year old Sharita Williams of Houma (LA) allegedly dialed 9-1-1 to complain about her cold onion rings. She told the operator that the waiter at the Malt-N-Burger in Thibodaux refused to replace them. The police showed up, but it was to arrest Williams for wasting police resources. She is due in court next month.

© 2006 Allison Brennan. All rights reserved.

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