I had another blog subject planned for today. In fact, I wrote it last night, thinking I’d get a jump on today. But did that happen? Noooo. I came into my office around 6, made coffee, drank a cup while I sorted through emails, paperwork, and to-do lists, then went back to the pot for a second cup. I was in mid-pour when something else came to mind for the blog, so now I’m back at the keyboard….
Ya see, the story is this— I’m on a death-grip deadline for a manuscript. It’s due on December 15th. Now, I’m figuring the only way I’m going to meet that deadline is if I receive some serious intervention—like from Moses. If I could just get him to wave that staff of his over these blank pages, maybe the crap would part and make way for some decent prose.
Working under the pressure of a deadline is tough enough, but when you add life’s little nits into the mix, like eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom, writing can feel downright laborious. And heaven help us if, during this time crunch, some real crap gets thrown our way—you know, the stuff that happens in life that leaves you feeling anesthetized—then writing goes from laborious to impossible.
Unfortunately, I got a dose of that Monday night.
I got home relatively early, planning to grab a sandwich and lock myself in my home office so I could write the night away. That didn’t happen. It couldn’t happen—not when I pulled into my driveway and discovered my two beautiful, 150 pound Rottweilers dead.
Both had been shot in the head.
It took me a while before I could collect myself—lots of crying, then just the stupor of shock—and gather clues. From the size of the entry and exit wounds, I knew a .22 caliber long had been used and that the shots were fired from a distance. There was no blood spatter evidence that indicated movement after the shooting, which meant the dogs were literally dropped with one shot each. That kind of precision from the distance I estimated could have only been managed with a scope.
The police were called, of course, but the bottom line is the chances that they’ll ever find the asshole or holes who killed my beauties are slim to none. I live in a small town, in the country, were hunters often traipse through the eighty acres of open field behind my home in search of rabbits and squirrel. Tracking spent bullet casings would be an act of futility because there are casings EVERYWHERE in that field. (That acreage doesn’t belong to me, so I was never able to post a NO TRESPASSING sign along its boundaries. The only thing I could do was put a fence around my own property so my pets would have a safe zone—or what I thought would be a safe zone.)
Anyway, there was to be no writing that night. I spent five hours, digging graves for Rajah (the female) and Axle (the male), and by the time they were laid to rest and I had patted down the last scoop of dirt, I was too numb inside to think. The only thing that would move through my mind with any clarity was a vision of my friends…how excited they’d get when they saw me, how those nubby tails would wag so hard, half their body shook.
They’re still very much on my mind today, much more so than this book, which brings me back to ground zero….where the hell is Moses when you need him?




















Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your dogs. I have two dogs of my own and I’d be in a pile for days if someone did this to them. Again, I’m so sorry…
Oh, Deb! How horrible. I was shocked reading your post. I have a smiling rottie, Britt, and can’t imagine coming home to find her as you did Rajah and Axle. My heart goes out to you and your family. I would love to get my hands on the mother f*&^@r/s who took your babies.
I’m so sorry.
Oh, Deb, I’m so sorry. How absolutely heartbreaking. Whoever did that has some seriously bad karma coming his way.
And I do understand about not being able to write after that. It seems when something emotionally wrenching happens, the well just dries up for a while. Good luck with the deadline. If I see Moses, I’ll send him your way (as long as you send him back when my deadline gets closer!)
Deb! What a horrid thing to have to go through! And what awful, sick people to have done such a cruel thing.
My prayers are with you.
Thanks, ladies, for your kind words and generous thoughts. I really debated about posting this weighty subject on the blog. But then I figured, what the hell. Unfortunately, it’s one of the tough realities in a writer’s life–trying to make words happen even in the hard times.
Arlene, that’s sure what it feels like…a pile…a big pile of emotional vomit. I go from sorrow to anger to numb to denial.
Karin, you and me both, girl! If I EVER find out who did this….
Allison, you’re right, whoever did this is very sick. But kind of like Amy said…The karma coming to this person ain’t gonna be pretty. What goes around, comes around. It’s nature’s law…just like gravity.
Thanks, Amy, for passing that message along to old Mo! I promise, I’ll send him back.
Deb, what a pointless tragedy! I’m so sorry about your two beloved dogs. No one expects you to write through something like that. Maybe you should have a chat with your agent and editor and get a couple week extension. They will understand. We often forget just how human and understanding they really are. (My mom died right when my synop on my second book was due–my editor was wonderful and made it easy for me to take a little extra time with no added guilt or pressure.)
I didn’t answer this the first time I read it, I just was too stunned. Such cruelty. Analyzing the whys and hows in books is one thing, but in real life, it’s just sickening. I’m so sorry.
Thank you, Jen. I know my agent would understand because she’s a die-hard dog lover, but my editor doesn’t even have a pet. If it involved the death of a family member (which I certainly considered Rajah and Axle to be), I’m sure he’d understand…but dogs…I just don’t know. Gosh, I can’t even imagine struggling through my mom’s death with a book due! She passed away 12 years ago, and I walked around like a zombie for 6 months.
I don’t even know what to say. I’m crying as I write this. My two treasures are lying at my feet. They are lab-shepherd-cattledog crosses with the coloring of a Rottie. They came from the local shelter where they’d been dumped after someone starved them nearly to death. I love them and they are looking at me strangely, trying to figure out why I’m crying.
Someone said here a few days ago that we couldn’t make this stuff up. In fiction it seems there are always reasons for even the most sick and twisted actions. But in reality – what could the reason for this possibly be? A senseless act of cruelty? Because they could? I will never understand.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friends. I don’t know what else to say.
You’ve said it all, Maureen, thank you. I love dogs, period, but my favorites have always been the large breeds, especially Rotties and Shepherds. I had a beautiful Shepherd named Sam who I had for ten years. Every single day, he’d meet me at the car when I’d get home, then he would stay at my side until I had to leave again. If I happened to be on the porch when a stranger drove up to my house, Sam would wait beside me until the person got out of the car. Then, unless I held onto his collar, he’d do one of two things: If it was a woman, he’d growl real low and walk up to her cautiously, sniffing. He’d always look back at me as if to ask, “This broad okay?” Most women would just freeze until I called him to my side. Now if it was a man, the hair would stick straight up on Sam’s back, and he’d run full out towards them, teeth bared, barking ferociously. I’ve seen more than one man jump back in his vehicle because of that dog. lol One guy even dove in the back of his pickup because he couldn’t get his door opened fast enough. But you know, in all the ten years I had him, Sam never once bit anyone. He had the gentlest spirit of any animal I’d ever known.
Unfortunately, I lost Sam this past September to a brain hemmorhage. I felt lucky, though, because I was able to be with him during his last moments. He died in my arms.
I regret that I wasn’t there for Rajah and Axle.
Oh, Deb, I am soooo, sooo sorry. Here I was chatting with you last night and you didn’t say ONE word. I feel your pain.
I came home tonight to discover my home had been broken into, and my Christmas tree trashed. Luckily, my dog was okay.
I had a rottie and she was the sweetest dog ever.
My heart goes out to you.
How awful. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care.
Thanks, Nat and Kelly. Nat your home was broken into?? I’m so glad you and your family are okay! Like it’s not bad enough out there that someone’s got to break into your home and trash your Christmas tree…argg..
Deb, you have my sympathies. What a horrible thing to happen. Dogs and cats are like our children. I hope something very bad happens to whoever did that.
My husband and I still mourn for Lulu, our English springer spaniel who died over 6 years ago.
And Natalie, I’m with Deb here. Thank God your dog and your family–and your computer, I assume–are okay. But having your home broken into is a violation and scary, even besides the Xmas tree trashing.
Thanks, Edie. You’re right, they are like our children.
My heart breaks for you. I have a basset, Arlo, who is always by myside and faithful, even while I still mourn the loss of my Ridgeback two years ago. Our so called pets are family, they keep us grounded. I hope for all that is good to come your way – very soon. And Big Karma on those who did this.
Natalie, I am glad you and your family and Stormy the wonder dog are safe and sound. What a bunch of nonsense to destroy your tree, and very hateful. Having your house burglarized is destruction of your comfort zone, I hope you find resolve soon.
You know what? I know, I know it’s a violation, and I’m still a little freaked, but we were so, so lucky. My little dog is alive. My tree was only slightly damaged.
Life happens every day, in big ways, to everybody else. I’ve always told myself, “wait until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Trite, maybe, but everybody has a story.
This one, while scary, ended up okay. They don’t always happen that way.
Wandering through Holly Lisle’s site I found a link that led to a link to you. My heart breaks to hear what happened to your family. The hurt and rage makes me want to forget I’m a preacher. May you have healing and comfort.
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